Let’s Get Dressed Up For Justin Bieber’s Giant Lesbian Slumber Party

Justin Bieber has finally fulfilled his destiny as the invisible queen of a badass high femme queer girl gang. In the new “dance video” for his single “Sorry,” he lets the gals take over the stage, and the result is a mesmerizing technicolor dance party that made me blush a lot. These girls are having the time of their lives and teaching us how to flirt. Who do I have to be to get into this party? One thing is obvious, they have a very elaborate dress code, and I think it’s that you have to wear an outfit that your mother would hate, your best friend would envy, and that would look completely absurd except that you are a goddess on your way to world domination. The sunglasses! The crop tops! The Timberlands! The neon! It’s what little me thought slumber parties would be like when I grew up, now with 100 percent more femme4femme glory.

"We eat your apologies for breakfast, Bieber."

“We eat your apologies for breakfast, Bieber.”

Watching these gals pal around has given me a rush of style envy and inspiration, so I decided to figure out how to get fresh and weird enough to join them.

Part one: The perfect top

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Whether your style is more mesh crop top or more oversized Chicago Bulls jersey, it seems like pretty much anything goes, as long as it’s bold and makes you feel good. That duck pattern grandpa blazer you found at Goodwill? Perfect. The t-shirt from your high school Guys and Dolls production bedazzled and cropped? You’re all set. Amazing jackets and other weird layering concepts abound, too. It’s 2015, and wearing a sweatshirt around your waist is useful and hip.

biebertops
Forever 21 This Is a Love Song Crazy Sexy Bra/Beachcoco Women’s Mesh Fishnet Crop Tank Top//Forever 21 Varsity Striped Crop Top//Old Navy French Terry Bomber Jacket

Part 2: Some ridiculous pants that shouldn’t work but THEY DO

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I have never seen so many colors and styles of what my mama would call hot pants in my life. Striped, two tone, covered in yin yangs, there are no rules!! But also, mom jeans and shiny leggings! Special shoutout to pigtail green shirt girl whose brief band is hanging out somewhere at her belly button while she expertly shimmies her entire behind. As long as it allows for very elaborate dance moves and makes your butt look great, you can wear it to this slumber party.

Bieberpants

Asos Rivington Jeggings//H&M Patterned Shorts//Forever 21 Striped Faux Leather Shorts

Part 3: Kicks

The shoes in this video are basic and kickass. Most of the dancers (I mean, slumber party guests) are wearing classic Timberlands or black and white Nike skate shoes. You could pair them with some CRAZY SOCKS and become truly majestic.

Part 4: Shades, hats and red lipstick

The crew that protects their eyes from the sun’s UV rays together stays together.

Ya heard?

To complete your look, you might consider a rad snapback or a gold chain necklace. If you don’t have your perfect red lipstick picked out, you must check out Aja’s awesome mini-series Lick My Chops. But clearly the most important part of this posse’s dress code is their impeccable sunglass game. Whether your style trends toward vintage cat eye, classic wayfarers or something a little campy, a great pair of shades is our ticket to this party of our dreams.

Alright, are you ready? Go forth, look great and love your friends!

Is it still queer baiting if it's actually just explicitly queer?

Is it still queer baiting if it’s actually just explicitly queer? Thanks for everything JB.

Audrey is a writer, a Texan and a sometimes-heretical Presbyterian. They write about bisexuality, gender, religion, politics, music and a whole lot of feelings at Autostraddle and wherever fine words are sold. They have a dog named after Alison Bechdel. Follow Audrey on Twitter @audreywhitetx.

Audrey has written 139 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. I’ve watched this video 4 times in the past 20 minutes so I just wanna say THANKS AUDREY for giving me somewhere to come and wallow in my sheer joy with other weirdos.

  2. so I was 100% sure anything including justin bieber wouldn’t work for me, but these outfits are speaking to me in a way i didn’t ever expect outfits to speak to me. once again audrey, you have made me one happy chicx. time to go thriftinggggggg!

  3. The girls look and act like blow up dolls. No agency = not gay. It’s his harem. Come on now. I promise no straight people see this and think they’re anything besides eye candy for the male gaze.

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