Keeping Gays Illegal: Florida’s Mulleted Lesbians & Top 10 Reasons DADT Rocks!

DADT: Buzzfeed has assembled the Top 10 Reasons Homosexuals Should Not Be Allowed to Serve in the Military, using quotes and pictures gathered from all over the interwebs. And well it’s pretty special/awesome/hilarious! We’ve got Black Lesbian Gangs, Everyone Has Aids, Fear of Body Art, Uncomfortable Barracks and a bunch of other pansy excuses from the cranky assholes somehow elected to run this bizarre country of ours. Also I just kinda love it every time straight people make lists about what douchebots politicians can be to gay people. (@buzzfeed)

GAY ADOPTION: On the left is the picture that the Florida Family Policy Council of Orlando, used to illustrate the gay couple that was awarded custody of a relative. It appeared under the headline: “FL judge violates law, places child in homosexual adoption” (on the right) is the actual couple.

I’m so sick of this appearance-based fearmongering towards lesbians. Like clearly that picture is probs Maggie Gallagher on Halloween, but even if your two Moms looked like that, what does that have to do with their mothering abilities. who are those people. I’ve seen that photo like 500 times.

The columnist in the Orlando Sentinel who publicized this discrepency got a lot of reader mail in response, and it’s kinda awesome: “Scott, I normally despise your liberal hackery, but you are right on this one. It’s far more important that the child is in a happy home with parents who love and care for him than keeping him “gay free.” Please go back to supporting your normal far left positions that make no sense so I can go back to bashing you.”

HOT GIRLS: Women’s Lists dissected — is it really that time of year again? It can’t be, ’cause we didn’t do the Autostraddle Hot 100 ’til like May or June (which remains the best feature we’ve ever run). Regardless, Asylum has decided to analyze the Men’s Hot 100 Lists, and they’ve determined: “AskMen favors the slightly older, more mature and less-partying type. The other two seem to unite in favor of more household names (Christina Aguilera and Cameron Diaz), and the not-very-wholesome women who may be hot, but are more likely to get cited for DUI (e.g., Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears).”

Obviously we prefer hot sauce, Hot ‘n Cold, The Miami Heat, the Disco Inferno, Stovetops and throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

TRANS: A ruling this week by the U.S. Tax Court held that a Massachusetts woman should be permitted to deduct the medical costs associated with her transition (male to female) for the purposes of filing federal income tax returns—a ruling that could have significant implications for transgender people. (@keen news service)

PEREZ: “Congratulations to gossip blogger Perez Hilton, whom Forbes has named as the biggest star on the web for the third year running. Were I to honour Perez in the style he has made his own, I would probably use Microsoft Paint to scrawl “no one cares fat whore” across a photo acquired by sticking a periscope up his trousers, but unfortunately we have yet to introduce that kind of functionality to the Guardian Comment pages. Still, give it time.” (@guardianuk)

HEALTH: Casey Johnson died of complications from diabetes. She had been neglecting regular care including insulin shots and monitoring blood sugar. Brittany Murphy’s toxicology report has also been released this week. From The Buffalo News:

On Brittany Murphy: This death could’ve been preventable,” Assistant Chief Ed Winter told People. “Murphy was planning on seeing a doctor, but she unfortunately passed away before she did. This was a case of a person with pneumonia who was anemic (suffering from a low red blood count) who was taking medication when she should’ve been getting medical treatment.”

On Casey Johnson: The cause of heiress Casey Johnson’s death was listed as diabetic ketoacidosis, and sources tell TMZ that it was caused by her failure to take care of herself. Johnson, 30, was not taking her insulin shots, was not exercising, did not follow her strict diet and was not taking other medicines she needed, says TMZ.

Brittany Murphy

RACISM: “It’s disturbing enough that Vanity Fair, Hollywood, and mainstream celebrity culture in general are still overwhelmingly white — but truly terrifying that so many are willing to come out in support of keeping it that way.” (@jezebel)

SUICIDE: Mental health professionals have long-known that gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) teens face significantly elevated risks of mental health problems, including suicidal thoughts and suicidal attempts. However, a group of McGill University researchers in Montreal has now come to the conclusion that self-identity is the crucial risk-factor, rather than actual sexual behaviours. (@physorg)

TYRA: Obviously Tyra had a show about women with multiple vaginas. Tyra LOVES vaginas. (@tyra)

WANDA: Wanda Sykes visits Jay Leno to enjoy the Black History Month menu at the NBC Cafeteria!

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2697 articles for us.

24 Comments

  1. That false picture thing made me laugh. Clearly, the outrageous behavior going on has driven me to insanity.

    Forgive me, I feel the rant coming on. Those people criticizing Jezebel for pointing out Vanity Fair’s lack of diversity are beyond idiotic. The magazine could have chosen to feature some Hollywood stars of color, simply because there are beautiful/talented ethnic stars, although they are limited in number. Obviously whoever was in charge of this selection was either consciously or subconsciously biased to think these feature-worthy people were white–maybe they only truly considered white people to be that spectacular. Whatever the case may be, they COULD HAVE put someone of color in there and failed to/chose not to. When these outcrying commentators state things like “when there is no white people involved, you cant say anything” and are in return propositioned for an example the only thing they can come up with are things like Jet, Ebony, Essence, Latina magazines, or the NAACP. These are things that were MADE to target specific races/ethnicities, they weren’t put there to apply to everyone. Vanity Fair, as far as I know, is not a white supremacy magazine–it was not made to only pertain to caucasians. Of course the first thing one of these people would say is that if someone were to create a magazine targeted to white people only it would be considered wrong; they’re right. White people do not NEED advancement. They have every advantage in the world. There is no need to try and nurture this sector of the people because they have every race-related advantage known to man. A magazine like that would only be built to widen the gap that still stands between the races, while things like Essence and the NAACP are trying to put people on the same playing field, working towards the equality that we have only obtained figuratively. Vanity Fair is, as they mentioned, “mainstream” and they shouldn’t be so void of diversity if they are trying to appeal to everyone. Period.
    And yes, these people do have terrible grammar.

    Am I the only person wondering what the fuck two vaginas look like?!

  2. “Homosexuality is a sin, as is adultery and fornication”
    “Many lawmakers agree with you, Martin. But it’s interesting that they’re so focused on only one of the three.”

    roasted.

    i get excited every time montreal is mentioned at autostraddle!

  3. I’m entirely in agreement with Jezebel on the VF shoot. However, I’m also pretty ignorant of all things Hollywood this year (most years…) and so far I’ve found that the few people who came to mind as being hot young Hollywood were on past years covers or not as young as I thought. I’d love to hear some suggestions of who else you all think should have been included in the shoot.

    ARGH Florida. If mullets meant you couldn’t be a good parent, you’d need to start taking kids away from a lot of redneck dads.

    And that gun picture is making me nervous. I’m loving the shiny clothes, but don’t hold the gun so close to your face! Your face is important.

    • I was just thinking that! How I have seen men walking around with their children sporting mullets. Sometimes they have matching mullets; I think that is something we should be worrying about.

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