Holiday Shopping List Without Commentary: Julie & Brandy’s “Hilarious and Awesome” Gifts

Hey there starship troopers! It’s the holiday season and we’re here to help you get your shit together in a variety of ways: recipes, kits, gift guides, holiday how-tos and so very much more. Come along with us, won’t you, to Autostraddle Holigays 2011!  FYI, if you follow the amazon links from our website when making holiday purchases, Autostraddle gets a little percentage of that money via our Amazon affiliates account, so we encourage you to do that All Season Long!! Thank you!

Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard, world-famous movie producers and the stars of In Your Box Office With Julie & Brandy right here on, have created a holiday shopping list for “hilarious & awesome” people. This is that list.

1. Retro 80’s cell phone headset

Is that Jamie Lee Curtis?


2. Novelty marijuana that causes gas!


3. Ramona Singer’s Pinot Grigio

(Because everyone loves to hate the Real Housewives of NY)

Bottoms up!


4. The Book of Awkward Family Photos



5. Pajama Jeans!


6. Barack Obama Bobble Head

(We actually have one of these and LOVE it)


7. 2011 Justin Bieber Calendar


8. Industrial size bucket of CheeseBalls


9. Red Hat Cat Kitchen Sponge


10. Inflatable Tiger Head


12. Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper


13. The Autostraddle Calendar

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julie and brandy

has written 20 articles for us.


    • I own the Obama Chia, my best friend’s mom gave it to me a couple xmas’ ago. The fro grew in kinda funny and sort of became a mullet.

      Bitchin’ list, more Julie and Brandy please!

  1. I really, REALLY want that sponge. I mean, cats, wearing HATS?! Maybe it’s just because I grew up reading a lot of Dr. Seuss, but this really appeals to me. Or maybe I’m just a future cat lady.

  2. Sad to say, I have a bucket o’ cheese balls lingering in my bedroom with the similar Ikea pillow case as seen on the picture.

  3. Well, I have to say I’m glad my girlfriend dumped me right before Christmas. I will be spending the money that would have gone to her gifts to buy myself some pajama jeans, to wear while I eat my industrial size bucket of cheese curls as I read my Awkward Family Photos book… And I just really want the cat sponge, because, well, cats.

  4. I want the pajama jeans. Only at this particular moment though as I just showered and put on PJs before realizing I need to walk to the grocery store.

  5. I wouldn’t kick an industrial-sized bucked of cheese balls out of bed for being an industrial-sized bucked of cheese balls…

  6. I don’t understand that photo of the two couples kissing behind the wiggly baby, are they a polygamous/polyamorous family and that’s their child? Why are they kissing so awkwardly? It looks like they can hardly touch each other like when you kissed people in elementary school because you just wanted to know what a kiss what like all squinchy faced and confused. And why are the walls and crib so creepily bare? Why is everyone clutching the crib like there’s some hungry baby eating monster lurking nearby but they’re only half paying attention because they’re lost in their SUPER AWKWARD KISSING.

    I really want that phone extension but in orange.

    • As much as it pains me to say this, I think that’s Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar on the left and Josh and Anna Duggar on the right. Not sure who the child belongs to. Also, you’re totally right about the awkward kissing. Maybe that’s what happens when you don’t kiss your spouse until your wedding day?

      • So it’s a husband/wife and then their son with his wife? And a random baby? How fucking weird is that?

  7. Ehh, I’m not sure how I feel about that Hillary Clinton TP. I love the Clintons; I don’t want to wipe my ass with their faces. :/

  8. can i just say that i adore how my two options for calendars on this list are THEJUSTINBEIBER2011 (which would be USELESS IN A MONTH ANYWAYS) or the fucking AU.TO.STRA.DLE CAL.EN.DAAAAAR.

    geniuses. whoever came up with that, just wanna let you know I SEE WHAT YOU DID THARRRRRR.

    • You can argue over which spelling is better (they’re both correct), but the only thing that matters is which spelling the company uses. Pajama.

      On another note, forget about that Justin Bieber calendar. My store sells toothbrushes that sing Justin Bieber songs. Toothbrushes. I know you want one.

  9. I’ll take one of everything and TWO of the Autostraddle calendars (one for my girlfriend of course)

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