Are you and a partner interested in role playing? Are you worried you won’t be good enough at improv?
Hello, my name is Drew Burnett Gregory and in addition to being a Senior Editor at Autostraddle, I’m also a screenwriter. And I’ve written some interactive porn for you to try out with a partner.
During one of our Autostraddle brainstorm meetings, I suggested writing a piece about people who do elaborate role playing. I, myself, am better at writing and acting than improv and thought there must be others like me who yearn for more structure in their sexual fantasies. My colleagues weren’t convinced, but they did suggest I could create the world I wanted to see and provide you all with a little encouragement in the form of pre-written scenes.
When I sat down to come up with these concepts, I felt stuck. Should they be grounded and subtle? Should they be over-the-top and porn-y? Or should they feel like real movie sex scenes?
All these concerns went away when I got high and my girlfriend got high and I said hey help me come up with some concepts for this thing I have to write tomorrow.
The scattered concepts we devised were a combination of erotic and nonsensical and now I have tasked myself with turning these notes into full scenes for your enjoyment. Whether you just read them to have a laugh or actually act them out with your partner before sex, I hope they bring you all the pleasure you deserve.
Scene #1
High notes: astronauts, she’s been waiting there since 1964, so only 28, 28 went to space still 28 now, that’s space time
Scene #2
High notes: shoe cobbler, ballerina, “these look really worn, looks like you need someone to take care of you,” emotional breakdown, shoe polish, “will you teach me to love myself,” slippery and wet shoe polish sex, flips sign over to say closed
Scene #3
High notes: SeaWorld employee, talking dolphin, dolphin has secrets, sexy mermaid trapped in dolphin’s body, trapped by SeaEOs of SeaWorld, only cure is craziest orgasm, “it’ll catapult me back into this earthly realm”
Scene #4
High notes: private detective, wealthy tennis instructure, married to SeaEO of SeaWorld, suspects husband not only of cheating but of EMBEZZLING and pinning crime on her, she will seduce husband while wearing a wire, “I’ll show you how I’ll seduce your husband,” pours water on herself and says “lick it up ball boy”
Scene #5
High notes: opera singer, no wait a wannabe opera singer, meets the world’s most famous opera singer, both women, for mommy issues, good singer berates bad singer, “posture of a lousy schoolboy,” needs muscle flexibility in her mouth
I was not expecting to read about shoe polish sex today. I did like that two of the scenarios involved Seaworld, a connected universe maybe?
SeaEO. Thank you both for that. Quality work.
“treat me like a shoe”