Hayley Kiyoko Shares a New Unrequited Queer Girl Love Anthem With “Sleepover”

Hayley Kiyoko has been regularly putting out some of the best queer pop songs and videos for a while now, with videos like “Girls Like Girls,” “Cliff’s Edge,” “One Bad Night” and “Gravel to Tempo,” and songs like “Pretty Girl.” Now she’s released a brand new music video via Buzzfeed, “SLEEPOVER,” and she’s once again here for all of us queer girls.

In this newest video, Kiyoko takes center stage as the queer protagonist of her video and her song. She sings about the difficult feelings of a queer woman who develops feelings for a friend, something that’s just about as universal a queer experience as we can find. “You want to be friends forever/I can think of something better” — jeez, wow, that’s relatable.

Kiyoko posted a short message on Tumblr yesterday, in preparation for the video coming out because it has a message that’s close to her heart.

I’ve never truly believed that sexuality defines who you are. I do believe, though, that sexuality helps shape and build who you become. How you act, what you pursue, who you surround yourself with. This music video for “Sleepover” is not a concept or an idea for me. It is my life. It defines a part of who I am today. I grew up a dreamer and found comfort through a safe haven in my head. It’s where I was able to find self-love and feel validated. This music video validates those feelings for me, even if in those moments the girl I fell for was unavailable. I made this video to help validate those fantasies. To create a space for the lovers, dreamers and seekers. Falling in love can be a bittersweet feeling, especially if you know it’ll never be reciprocated. I think we can all relate to that. Thanks for always supporting me. Love you.

The video takes the chorus, where Kiyoko sings “At least I got you in my head,” and brings it to life, showing the singer and her co-star, Rose, played by Christina Santini, making out, dancing together, taking a bath and lying in bed together. Kiyoko has seriously some of the best queer videos of all time. In “Girls Like Girls” we got to see Stefanie Scott and Kelsey Chow act out a cute romance; in “One Bad Night” a trans girl played by trans actor Erin Armstrong finds love, in “Cliff’s Edge” Kiyoko directed herself making out with Sonya Esman, and in “Gravel to Tempo,” Kiyoko gets pretty gay in high school trying to impress the cool girls at her school. Plus, all these songs are just great pop songs. Hayley Kiyoko is exactly the kind of queer artist that’s leading us into a wonderful bright and openly queer future in music, and I love it.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Mey Rude is a fat, trans, Latina lesbian living in LA. She's a writer, journalist, and a trans consultant and sensitivity reader. You can follow her on twitter, or go to her website if you want to hire her.

Mey has written 572 articles for us.


  1. I mean I won’t lie, I totally watched this video to see Hayley Kiyoko make out with an incredibly beautiful woman for 4 minutes, but I love the commentary on it as well.

    • You got to watch it for 4 minutes, she got to film it for at least a day.

      Why am I not a pop star.

  2. In One Bad Night, the trans girl doesn’t find love, unless you are referring to the friendship with the guy. The guy is interested in the waitress

  3. I’m seeing her in concert next week and I can’t express how freaking excited I am!!!

  4. I’m not remotely a fan of pop music, but umm… so, there are more of these videos, you say? Fascinating. On YouTube? I’ll be right back, you people carry on the conversation without me…

    • It’s a video about a queer girl by a queer girl.

      Are there queer girls who don’t like looking at girl butts? I am not understanding.

      • I mean, honestly, I do get what you’re saying, but the assumption that ass shots are “unnecessary” is…baffling me right now. ;)

  5. Don’t get me wrong. The song is great and it feels real which is good. I just wonder about who directed/produced it.

  6. I’m here for all of it but I got very distracted by the line about brushing her hair bc GIRL NO. YOU DON’T PUT A BRUSH ANYWHERE NEAR CURLS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. But yeah. Everything else is pretty A+.

  7. “Even when you’re next to me it’s not the way I’m picturing” is the really taking me back to high school me.

  8. So my wife and I (who I gather are older than most of your usual readers) are feeling out over the simple fact that lesbian pop songs exist. The closest thing we had in high school/college was Jill Sobule’s I Kissed a Girl. Found this post by doing a slight bit of rabbit holing after you were on the Buffering the Vampire Slayer podcast. Love love loving my newfound exploration of queer culture. Thanks for doing you. ;)

  9. Hi, it’s simply dope music, love it. It’s something that applies to either sexual preference. Having a safe haven in one’s head, where our fantasies come alive. Thanks for introducing me to this track!

Comments are closed.