Haters Are Fake News: More Internet Haikus

three jumping gray dots
what mysteries do you hold
i hope they’re gentle

they’re doing the wave
gray dots are working the crowd
they can feel your ache

red encircled white number
your ten-year-old face

another alert
blue encircled white number
one-forty well done

pulsating red rings
there’s no one new around you
it’s time for a move

green circle we’re live
gray circle we’ve gone absent
what’s outside feel like

colors, numbers, shapes
they’re still keeping us engaged
forever children

iconic duo:
your ex and netflix account
real love never dies

when you hide their posts
then find out they’ve unfriended
*white guy blinking gif*

comforting to know
‘hey girl’ memes are still around
some things go untouched

george takei the brand
dictating what goes viral
taste of real power

moms love george takei
teenagers love george takei
man of the people

“first post in a while”
that new instagram alert
feels like a soft neg

saddest short story
a blinking pizza tracker
modern baby shoes

it’s gonna be may
will never not be funny
haters are fake news

sometimes i’ll right swipe
based on instagram handle
there’s power in names

where’s our mallory
has she left us forever
i’m cold and afraid

re: digital ads
what is glossier’s budget
like three trillion or

“closing the orgasm gap”
y’all wild for this one

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. OK yeah can someone tell me what OMGYes is? Is it for straight women to learn about how to come and then teach their boyfriends? What is an orgasm gap? Is this 1950 or is sleeping with men just that bad?

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