Grey’s Anatomy Recap 1115: Heart Eyes and Earthquakes

After the excitement of the last few weeks on Grey’s Anatomy, this week’s episode was basically just big wads of iceberg lettuce being shoved in our gaping mouths, one fistful right after the other. Little Ruby was darling, of course, and I’m glad she didn’t kill her mom when Owen had her skewer her in the chest with a s’mores kabob, but I’d have probably given more fucks if the tiny human whisperer Arizona had been the one on the job. This episode felt a little like filler, and there wasn’t any queer stuff happening on-screen, so I’ve decided to run the storylines through the Give-A-Fucks-O-Meter to let you know if they’re worth your love.


 

Maggie gets asked out by a boy.

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I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S GOING TO BE SEX OR PUPPETS. I’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

 

I’m sure Maggie is a lovely person. She’s awkward and adorable, and I assume she took care of good care of Meredith’s invisible children while Meredith was away on her solo weekend of sleeping all the sleeps and drinking all the drinks. But I’m not invested in her at all. I thought maybe she might want to try making out with Arizona, just to see how it felt, but instead she’s agreed to go out on a date with this guy she got trapped with in an elevator.

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Jo makes this face at Meredith. A lot.

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WTF is going on with your eyeballs right now?

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Nothing, they’re totally normal.

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Meredith hasn’t lost a single patient since Derek left to spread his manpain to the east coast, and Jo has got feelings in her pants w/r/t that. Or so she says. She made that face at Amelia a couple of weeks ago, and now she’s making it at Meredith, and I for one have never seen her make that face at Alex, if you know what I’m saying AND I THINK YOU DO. Maybe Jo should just put her face on another girl’s and see what happens.

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Amelia kisses Owen with her actual mouth.

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Derek is a cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

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Seriously, I can see your eyes being weird even in my periphery.

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Nope. Just regular eyes.

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Meredith finally puzzles out that sleek bit of technology in her pocket and decides to ring up her husband. A lady answers. Meredith remembers when she was the girl who was getting screwed while getting screwed, and she is tres unpleased. Maybe she should take Addison Montgomery out for a drink and see where the night leads. I don’t know, I’ve heard that’s a thing some people enjoy.

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Callie smiles.

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Honestly, I could give you medical advice, or you could buy the new Autostraddle Break-Up ‘Zine.

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Most healthy decision I’ve ever made, reading that thing.

 

My tiny, perfect daffodil. It’s like staring into the face of God. Like walking barefoot through a field of dew-covered wild flowers. Why is she like this? No one knows, and knowing wouldn’t lessen the pain.

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Benjamin Warren! Calls his sister (by her correct gender)!

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Why won’t you have sex with me anymore?

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Because you don’t care about other people’s truths. You care about how YOU feel about other people’s truths.

 

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Which makes you a child.

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And I only sleep with men.

 

I’m still super mad at this guy for being such a jerk to her in the first place, and my hand still hurts from the hole I punched in the crust of the earth over it, but I’m really glad that he’s coming around and super duper most glad that this storyline isn’t falling off the face of the earth. Bailey tells Ben to call in and check on his sister after the small earthquake, and Ben tells Bailey to mind her own besswax. (All besswax is Bailey’s besswax, Ben.) Later, Jackson pleads with Ben to understand that this patient he just operated on, she got the body she’s been wanting since she was six years old. “It’s not a choice, it’s a chance,” he says. “And you can’t know that without talking, and listening.” And so Ben does call his sister, and when he tells Bailey about it he says “SISTER” and “SHE” in all caps like that, and Bailey ignores the fact that he’s acting like he deserves a prize for the very basic thing of not violently misgendering his own sister, and tells him to apologize for being a jerk to her, also, and to make some dinner.

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I don’t know, my little rutabagas. Are there extraneous fucks that I’ve missed? Did you enjoy the episode? Did you punch any faces this week?

Jenn is a yoga-loving, tea-drinking, music-obsessed bisexual writer who lives on the outskirts of Atlanta with her husband, her son, her retired greyhound Hops, and two identical white cats called Greatest and Leastie. You can find her on Twitter and Tumblr. Come and say hi! Bring cookies!

Jenn has written 13 articles for us.

16 Comments

    • This is exactly why it took me so long to figure out that I was bi. I always always always struggled with this feeling of “her hair is gorgeous I want to know what kind of conditioner she uses BUT I ALSO KINDA WANNA PUT MY FACE ON HER FACE?”

      • and then your like, of course you like so and so. their hair smells like sunshine and honey who doesn’t think she is gorgeous? then for me, you see a girl put on cherry colored chapstick and it literally feels like your in the movies, every things in slow motion and then lips are awfully suckable. then you know yup I’m a big gaymo.

      • Jenn, that’s the exact same reason why I took so long to figure out that I was bi too!! I kept on misinterpreting the feeling of “I want to be with her” as “I want to be her” or “I want to be really close to her and know everything about her and be her best friend”. I’m always glad to hear when other people have felt this way too and to know I’m not the only one who’s had this experience.

  1. I also give a fuck about how Dr. Herman is doing, so I was happy to get that brief bit of exposition from Arizona telling us all that Dr. Herman is handling being newly blind as a badass.

    As I mentioned last recap, I think it would be super interesting to follow up with her story post-surgery, but it seems like that might not happen, which is too bad.

  2. I liked the fucks-odometer, but I wish there was a bit more of a re-cap. I’ve always loved Meredith and I love watching Meredith be awesome and doing Meredith things. Like she was seriously bad-ass and not distracted by personal shit and being a self sufficient organized human being and mother (not that they mentioned the kids at all). Also Callie telling Maggie to go for it was awesome. If she gave me that speech I’d be like “ok I’ll go date”.

    And thank you for using an appropriate amount of time for Owen and Amelia. Yawn.

    • I loved the Callie/ Maggie speech, too! I’m actually enjoying Maggie in general. I can’t imagine how hard it is to write a truly “original” character after 11 years of writing characters, but I think Shonda is doing a pretty good job of making Maggie her own person as opposed to a “Lexie 2.0” or “Cristina 2.0”

      All this to say that the dating speech hit that sweet spot of being touching advice, encouraging “you can do it!” pep talk, and down right hilarious! And all of the pun riffs at the end about all the ways to have sex? Sara Ramirez ad-libbed it and they all loved it so much that they left it in!

      I think that alone is worth a moderate-to-many fucks given.

      • I agree that they’re doing a really good job at making Maggie her own character and not forcing her to compete with Lexie or try to replace Lexie’s spot as Meredith’s sister. I’m liking Maggie more and more as the season goes on.

  3. I like Maggie and want to see more of her, but I reallllly hate this whole hetero romance thing they have going for her. Like, if she’s not interested in dating, that’s okay! Because you can be a functional, happy adult and not want romance and/or sex, so I was a little uncomfortable with the way Callie kept talking to her about it. BUT ALSO I kind of loved it, because Callie was hilarious this episode and the part where she did the weird accent and was like “Pardon me Madam, I am just a lowly maker of x-rays” was a part that I watched like three times.

    BUT ALSO ALSO this show needs more queer ladies, so I am hoping that maybe Maggie will meet a nice lady in the hospital cafeteria sometime soon.

  4. A. I want a Give-A-Fucks-O-Meter for everyday use.

    B. I like Maggie but I can’t figure out if it’s because I actually like her as a character or if I can’t get over her being the lesbian resident in Emily Owens M.D and just want to see her make out with all the other lovely lady doctors…

  5. I feel like they totally wasted that earthquake. There’s only so many possibilities for disasters, natural or man-made, that they can come up with to use for major storylines for Big Important Episodes or season premieres/finales. So to turn this earthquake into a non-event is a completely missed opportunity on their part, and they really should have saved it for another time.

    I thought the storyline with Jackson and Ben was very nice. It was a lovely tribute to Mark Sloan and everything that he taught Jackson about being in the Plastics Posse and its bigger purpose, and I thought it was great how Jackson used this to teach Ben and help him better understand his sister’s journey.

  6. P.S. I forgot to tell you Jenn that I was cracking up at your captions about Maggie in the elevator (I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S GOING TO BE SEX OR PUPPETS. I’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.) and I loved your references to those now-infamous elevator scenes from The L Word and Glee.

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