Show of hands: who thought that a two-hour long Grey’s Anatomy this week would mean 120 minutes of Ghosts of McDreamies Past, Present, and future feeling their feels? Because I certainly did. Instead what we got was basically a filing cabinet full of folders, and inside each folder was a headshot and scrawled note ARIZONA SUPER ANGRY or MEREDITH = GONE GIRL, and the writers are just pulling them out one-by-one and sliding them across the table to us.
They start with Meredith, obviously. After a quick flashback to remind us that McDreamy is indeed McDead, Meredith walks into the break room at Grey-Sloan Memorial where Callie, Maggie, Alex, Webber, and Owen are arguing about coffee. She says “Derek is dead. Derek is dead. DEREK IS DEAD!” and then passes right the hell out.
![greys1122-2](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-2.png?resize=640%2C360)
Y’all make a real cute couple.
![greys1122-3](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-3.png?resize=640%2C360)
Mmm hmm. I know.
No sooner than Owen and Webber have her in a hospital bed and hooked up to an IV does Bailey come hustling around the corner, crying. As she’s trying to get herself under control, Owen asks how Amelia is holding up. Webber tells him she’s in surgery. He says, “You know the protocol,” and Owen replies, “Yeah, I know the protocol,” and RIGHT HERE, okay? Right here is such a missed opportunity for growth for Owen. After the shenanigans with Teddy and Cristina and Teddy’s husband Henry, I would have loved to see him damn the torpedoes and go straight to Amelia. But nope. Instead Callie heads down to Amelia’s OR. The dude on her table is none other than Officer Dan, Callie’s boring dude date. Aw man, I thought we dispensed with this guy.
After surgery, Owen meets Amelia in the scrub room. One look at his face and she knows someone is dead. She’s no stranger to the Your Loved One Is Gone face. Owen tells her it’s Derek. She like “Thanks, bro.” Meanwhile Callie tells Edwards, who just loses it and starts sobbing.
![greys1121-1](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1121-1.png?resize=640%2C360)
If they put onions on my pizza one more time, I’m burning Domino’s to the ground.
Derek’s funeral is about seven seconds long, after which Meredith sees the Post It of Love and thinks about Derek and her mom and the goddamn carousel, and then snatches up her kids and scurries off into the night. Remember that time on Pretty Little Liars when Shana’s funeral was on YouTube, filmed from multiple angles, and with like edits in it and stuff, and then Aria watched it in the computer lab at school and Shana came back to life and looked right at the camera? I just like to bring that up from time-to-time. I think knowing Shana’s out there, doing zombie stuff on the outskirts of Rosewood, it’s a balm. It’s a grief-cleanser.
Anyway. Days pass, weeks pass, months pass. Meredith doesn’t come back, doesn’t answer her phone, doesn’t give anyone any indication she’s all right. Maggie and Callie want to hire a detective, but Webber tells them she’s Ellis Grey’s daughter, and if she’s gone, it’s because she wants to be gone, and there’s nothing they can do about it. So it’s up to everyone to deal with Derek’s death as best they can.
Bailey tells Ben if anything happens to her, not to hook her up to any machines or perform any extraordinary measures. Ben is like “Cool, but no.” He wants every single thing that can be done to be done. Bailey thinks he’s crazy. Ben wants to live, and he doesn’t care if that means he’s hooked up to eleventy tubes and wires for the rest of his life. Bailey tells him that’s fine, but first she needs to make sure there’s an Idris Elba provision in there, because she’s not giving up a chance at that booty on the technicality of being married to a potato. Ben’s response is to sign a living will and give it to her as a Valentine’s Day present? Not as bad as when Ross said Rachel. Not as bad as a Pizza Hut box stuffed with a medium one-topping rectangular pan pizza, five breadsticks with marinara sauce, 10 cinnamon sticks with a sweet icing cup, and an engagement ring. It’s no brief jerky, is what I am saying. But it’s terrible.
![greys1122-5](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-5.png?resize=640%2C360)
WTF happened to you?
![greys1122-4](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-4.png?resize=640%2C360)
I tagged my hate on Tumblr.
Callie deals with her grief by treating Officer Dan, who, despite everyone’s best efforts, loses his leg. Callie hooks him up with one of the bionic legs that she and Derek developed. I know we’ve talked about my feelings about Callie dating a dude, and while I’m still okay with that, I am not okay with her dating Officer Dan. He’s condescending and has the sense of humor of a bagel. He’s not nearly good enough for Callie. Officer Dan tells her he thinks they were meant to meet so that she could save him. She fits him for his bionic leg and there’s this really touching moment where he walks for the first time since losing his leg and she breaks down and I wanted this for Callie and Arizona. I hate to be such a downer, but I feel like this whole episode was a collection of moments that could have been but weren’t.
Arizona’s feelings: Super double plus the angriest. She overhears someone bitching about waiting too long for a neuro consult and shouts her down in the lunchroom. And that’s it. That’s all we get of Arizona. She and Callie aren’t even a single scene together. The only nod we get is a single beat when Callie and Sophia are hanging up Christmas stockings and Callie pulls Arizona’s out of the box and then looks at it like “nah” and just tosses it back in. So, I guess that’s it? Is that the last nail in their coffin? Really, Papi? Really? And Santa wrecked his sleigh and Rudolph flatlined on the way to the ER and two of the elves were chopped in half as the sleigh fell out of the sky and MERRY CHRISTMAS.
![greys1122-13](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-13.png?resize=640%2C360)
Four for you, Sofia.
![greys1122-12](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-12.png?resize=640%2C360)
You go, Sofia!
![greys1122-11](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-11.png?resize=640%2C360)
And none for the love of my life, bye.
Amelia, despite her stone cold reaction to the Death Face, is not handling Derek’s death all that well. She’s making jokes about her dead brother and everyone is super uncomfortable about it. Webber keeps trying to get her to come to a meeting, and Edwards tries to get her to go to a grief counselor. When Webber stops her in the hallway to check in and see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee, every single thing she’s been holding back rushes out of her mouth. She can’t go to a meeting. She can’t go to a get a cup of coffee. If she leaves, people will die, and then their families will be left wondering why everyone leaves, why everyone gets ripped away. Then she walks straight out and scores a baggie full of oxy.
Owen and April come back from Iraq, and Owen heads straight to Amelia’s. She holds up the bag of oxy and tells him she’s got the Derek thing totally handled. She’s saving lives, putting butts in the OR gallery, joke joke joke, she is GREAT. She’s been sober for 1,321 days, and she was fine. It was managed. And then Derek died. Owen is all “you have to feel the pain, you can’t run from it! Which, haha, oh shit, is what I was doing! I was running from the pain too! That’s why I ran to Iraq! WOW!
Let’s pause for a second and just be clear about one thing. If an addict is standing right in front of you clutching a bag of oxy and threatening to take it, maybe not the best time to get introspective and make everything about you? Just food for thought. Something to keep in your back pocket.
Anyway, Amelia is strong as fuck, and she forces herself to give the oxy to Owen so that she can move into the pain of losing her brother, terrifying and awful and impossible as it is. She is amazing. Protect Amelia at all costs.
![greys1122-10](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-10.png?resize=640%2C360)
Play that Christmas song again where the kid sells his liver to buy his mom some shoes to go with Jesus to prom. And give me some more eggnog.
Owen convinces April to head off to a war zone to practice surgery there. It’s supposed to be for three months but then it’s six and then it’s long enough for Meredith to grow a baby! Told you so! She and Bailey and Zola are God knows where, not answering the phone, and Meredith is all kinds of preggo. She starts bleeding and sweet, darling Zola calls 911. I thought for sure the next scene would be Meredith rocking up into Seattle Grace on a gurney where Arizona would be waiting to safely deliver her wee one, but no to that one as well. They take her to another hospital, and it’s the same one that killed Derek and they try to deliver her baby with a butter knife and a car battery and a head of lettuce. JUST KIDDING. They wheel her into an emergency C-section, where she delivers a healthy girl named Ellis. Alex is her emergency contact (awwww!) and he comes to the hospital and takes Meredith, Zola, Bailey, and wee Ellis back to the house that Derek built.
You didn’t think we were going to get out of this without a Patient of the Week, did you? Anne is a lady who was pulled out of a house fire and 60% of her body is covered is covered in burns. She’s in the burn unit beside a woman named JJ, who was admitted a few weeks before. Even though she’s in tremendous pain, JJ keeps Anne’s spirits up, even when her husband bails out because having a wife in the burn unit isn’t “what he signed up for.” But then JJ dies, because of course she does, but Anne figures out how to move on, just as we all must. A bit heavy handed with the symbolism this week, but okay. If Anne can move on, we can move on, and we will.
![greys1122-18](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-18.png?resize=640%2C360)
Cristina didn’t come to Derek’s funeral.
![greys1122-16](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/greys1122-16.png?resize=640%2C360)
And Quinn didn’t go to Brittany and Sanatana’s wedding and nothing is sacred and everyone dies.
Meredith finally makes it back to Grey-Sloan memorial. Derek’s coat, his books, and his stethoscope are still in his locker, and Meredith takes Derek’s ferry boat scrub cap from his pocket, slides it on, and heads into surgery.
I have this really strong craving for pizza all of a sudden…
Now, let me get this straight:
Meredith is a single mom of three kids, including a wee newborn and she’s still got the time and leisure for surgery?
I really wish Cristina’d come back and move in with MerDer to raise the invisible children together. In lieu of Cristina, Callie could move in with Sophia or/and even Alex.
This is a chance for :Grey’s Anatomy, the commune!
You know, just like back in the old days, when everyone was living together and Callie hung out in the basement, just without the basement.
And with more Arizona.
Wait. Ha! Did Meredith legit walk in from the street after being gone like a year and just wash her hands and start cutting people open? Amazing, if so!
Yeah, that definitely happened. She also started wearing the ferry boat scrub cap, which was just chilling with Derek’s stuff at the hospital for a year.
Quinn FABRAY!!! *falls to knees* *raises fist to the sky* *shakes fist*
Same.
Did anyone else notice that about halfway through the episode we got a new, older Zola? And that baby Bailey aged almost 3 years instead of 1?
I mean, I get it. I’m sure they went with an older Zola because (I’m guessing) they will be using more of her, as the oldest daughter of 3 with a father who just died- there is a lot of story to be told there. They maybe needed a real child actor. And I’m guessing they aged Baby Bailey so they can differentiate between him and the new Baby Ellis. But it was super disorienting for me!! We’ve had that same Zola since infancy! I loved her face.
Also, it’s strange because while they aged Meredith’s kids- they did NOT age Sofia. Sofia and Zola are supposed to be the same age. When that new 7 year old stands next to Sofia, it is going to be super awwwwwkwwwwaaaard. Just saying.
And on a separate note, anyone else enjoy the obvious Cristina body double standing next to Meredith at the funeral and holding her hand? I’m glad they addressed that Cristina would be there for her person, even if they couldn’t get Sandra Oh back for an episode. But then once I saw that, I went on the lookout for a red head Addison body double in the crowd- to no avail :(
I know I’m in the minority, but I liked the episode. I had no expectations of seeing Callie and Arizona in a scene together going in, so that didn’t disappoint me. And I thought that comparison work done between Meredith and Ellis was AMAZING. They both had children after losing the love of their lives, albeit in different ways. They both had to make hard choices, and handled it differently.
I think losing Derek allowed Meredith to understand her mother in a way she couldn’t before. And it maybe even allowed her to heal a little bit of their relationship as a result of it? When she named her baby Ellis, I definitely teared up. She’s coming full circle.
WOOOOOOW. That comment was long!! I didn’t even know I had that many opinions on the matter. Sorry you guys! My bad.
I have so many feelings (most of them are angry feelings, be warned) so they have to go in list format:
1. The most egregious missed opportunity in this episode made up entirely of missed opportunities was the LACK OF CRISTINA AND/OR ADDISON AT THE FUNERAL. What the actual fuck.
2. Several episodes ago, I was allllll on board with Callie and Policeman Dan. And THEN. They had to go chop off his leg, and make him into the anti-Arizona. Just to reaaaally hit us over the head with how HE would be better for Callie, Dan gets to be all happy and optimistic about his bionic leg. Just. No. So much no. Everyone has different reactions to grief (as this episode made VERY clear) so no, Dan’s reaction to losing his leg is no better than Arizona’s. (That being said, Jackson’s response to Arizona about how “if she lost a leg, then I lost a leg too” was great, and essentially what Callie has been saying to Arizona for so long, so I hope AZ really heard that, and took it to heart.)
3. I thought Derek’s death would be the push Callie and Arizona needed to bring them back together, but again, NOPE. Not even a single scene together. It might still happen I guess, but man, what a missed opportunity.
4. Alex and Maggie are still uncomfortably close for my liking, while Alex remains with Jo. Maybe it’s just that the actors have really great chemistry? I would actually really like them together, I think. But not until Alex and Jo actually break up.
5. Good GOD with the fucking flashbacks. A little overkill in the emotional manipulation department.
6. Speaking of emotional manipulation, Meredith putting on the ferryboat scrubcap at the end FUCKING KILLED ME.
7. As I predicted, Owen was the one to “save” Amelia, to talk her down from the ledge. Gross. However, the best part of the entire episode was Amelia’s breakdown. I didn’t recognize at first that the reason she was basically living at the hospital was because of the neurosurgeon who essentially left Derek to die because he was at dinner, but once she said it, it made total sense. Poor, poor Amelia. I am very much looking forward to her and Meredith helping each other through their grief while raising the kids.
I’m definitely not disagreeing with most of these points, but I’m not sure what Shonda/ the Grey’s production people were supposed to do about bringing back Cristina and Addison if the actors don’t want to be there or couldn’t be there. It’s not like they are under contract anymore, you know? And Sandra Oh only left last year- I could see why it might she might not want to be back on set that soon, even if it is what we the fans want.
I don’t know, I’ve seen other people bring up the lack of those characters up before as an episode fault. And while I agree with them in my heart, in my head it seems unfair to hold Shonda accountable to that one thing that is probably out of her hands.
I thought she addressed it with the body double at the funeral. And she had Alex mention Cristina a few times in the episode. And Ameila mentioned both Addison and her mom. I know it’s not enough. It’s never enough. But I’m also wondering if that was the best Shonda could do given the circumstances?
You’re right, obviously. Just as Quinn wasn’t at Brittanas wedding because of Dianna Agron. These are things we know in our heads as TV viewers, we understand the realities of actors scheduling and personality conflicts and what have you, we KNOW these characters are not real, that they are just actors being paid to play a role.
And yet.
I’m guessing this is exactly why the show chose to very quickly skip over the actual funeral, because they knew they couldn’t get Kate Walsh and Sandra Oh. At least that’s better than that fucking Buffy episode where CASSIE is the ghost that talks to Willow, and not Tara, because Amber Benson was unavailable. (Still angry, PS)
And yes, I’m glad that they were both mentioned, better than nothing I guess.
That said, points 2, 4, & 7 definitely get a co-sign from me!! Couldn’t agree more!
2. I also caught on that Dan’s experience was meant to contrast Arizona’s; HOWEVER, I thought it was intended to help Callie move on and put all the nasty leg business behind her, since Arizona had always blamed her while Dan was thanking her? Plus, she did’t really seem into him at all, did she? She was pretty adamant about not liking him, no?
Also, I thought the whole “if she lost a leg I lost a leg” conversation was intended for AZ to finally understand Callie’s end of things during all the leg drama. (Dear God, she lost her leg three seasons ago, why are we still talking about this?)
Between Callie’s leg drama in this episode and AZ’s conversation with Avery, after AZ finally learned that it was Alex who cut off her leg, I’m hoping there has to be something coming for these two? I mean what’s the point of bringing up all this leg business?
Also, SO many missed opportunities in this episode. Not just for Calzona, but for everyone. Apart from the Merder and Ellis flashbacks, all of the other storylines just seemed like time fillers, literally, since an entire year passed.
This episode was 2 hours too long for me and felt like a season finale even though it isn’t. I was ready to go to sleep thirteen minutes into the episode. It should have only been an hour long.
1. I was disappointed at the lack of Arizona in a 2 HOUR episode. If they weren’t going to give us a Calzona scene at all, fine. But at least give Arizona more to do than that. The fact that their was no Calzona at all and we are back to talking about THE LEG again makes me think Shonda just might have them reconcile after all. There are still 2 episodes left this season.
2. I didn’t get the impression from the Callie/Dan scenes that we were supposed to believe they are dating now or that they are going to in the future. I think that is the end of their storyline. But it did piss me off to no end how they were beating us over the head with the contrast to Arizona losing her leg. I rolled my eyes so hard when they brought Dan into that ER with the same injuries and it had to be amputated. I knew exactly where they were going to with it. Then they took that moment and made it all about Callie’s grief for Derek. Like what?
3. Amelia’s scenes were the standout and saving grace of this episode for me. Catarina gave the best performance I ever seen her give as Amelia and that’s including her time on Private Practice. When she said, “Every man I have ever loved has died, including my child” I lost it. If you weren’t in love with this character before I don’t know how you couldn’t be after this episode. Next episode looks like it’s going to be just as powerful for her. I still can’t stand that of course Owen had to be the one she had that moment with. I will never accept them as a couple, Shonda. Ever.
Oh, I forgot to add that I though Dan was smarmy as fuck. He reminded me of Seasons 1 Derek. Despite all the flirting he was trying to do I still don’t think Callie is going to give him another chance. Not in the long run anyway. As I have said before, he’s a cop not a doctor and Shonda doesn’t keep around non-medical staff characters for very long.
Yes to number 3! I fucking love Amelia – she’s the best!
When Callie started crying with officer Dan walking I thought she was crying because she wanted that with Arizona. But no, she was crying for Derek. WTF
And the Xmas stocking was the mercy blow.
Damn, Shonda, that was scorched earth right there.
Callie crying for Derek was actually the first moment I felt really sad about it, because I’ve never been a fan of Derek and never have been and he’s always just been his Own Thing (or in the Mer/Der bubble) but that made me feel like something was really lost to everyone else. Sometimes it feels like Callie (and Alex maybe?) is the only person holding this weird bunch of people who are still left slash not killed in tragic accidents together, because she’s one of the few people who still has genuine relationships with the majority of the other doctors.
But also fuck that Xmas stockings scene forever yes.
meredith grey flashing back to a carousel alllll episode like some kind of jenny schecter
Bahaha!
I HATED THIS EPISODE! There, I feel better.
1) The way Meredith announced Derek’s death was so cold…the passing out helped a little..but over all I was sincerely underwhelmed.
2) Derek’s funeral…are you serious? A couple minutes is all we get? Are you kidding me? Derek deserved a way better tribute than that.
3) How the hell is the show supposed to continue when they went 9 months into the future? Fast forwarding like that just made no sense! So, next season what, we’re celebrating Ells’ 1st bday already? WTF? Made no sense.
4) I hate Officer Dan! I want Callie and Arizona back and I felt that Shonda is just leaving us cold on that front.
Only redeeming part? I loved Amelia. Loved, loved, loved, loved her! She deserves a damn Emmy for that scene with Owen!
Other than that…this episode almost ruined the show for me. I’ve been watching Grey’s sense season one and now….I’m almost over it and I hate that I am feeling that way for a show I once loved and looked forward to every week!
:(
I completely agree! I’m not even excited for Thursday anymore because the last half of this season has seriously sucked. Bring back Dr. Geena Davis, or Addison, or Teddy! Or, simply write some compelling storylines for the characters that are still on the show.
I’m still going to watch it, of course, but it is really letting me down right now.
I had too many feelings about this episode in general. But two major things for me:
1) I really hope they stop with the flashbacks soon. It’s been way overused this season.
2) The end of Calzona breaks my heart, but I also really love the growth it represents for Callie. She ended a relationship and moved on and has been handling that in a really healthy way. Her previous romantic arcs have been situations where she wasn’t really in control or focused on herself. Callie got together with George, but was always insecure about the relationship, and then sort of ended it, and then they got back together, and then he dumped her for Izzy and Callie was just in a really terrible, bruised place. Then she got left by Hahn and then Arizona came along and that relationship had all sorts of drama almost from the very beginning (remember that time they broke up in an airport? Or how not long before that they broke up because Callie wanted kids and Arizona didn’t?). The only other romantic/sexual situation Callie has been in that was really sort of stable and that ended on her terms was with Mark (RIP). It’s nice to see her drawing boundaries and figuring herself out, which was kind of what the whole break-up was about.
Killing off yet another main character because the actor wants to leave is just lazy storytelling. Put Derek in a coma and wake him up for the series finale, which will probably be next May because the show has been losing steam for a while now anyway. Or put HIM in the burn unit and let Jackson try a new procedure on him that results in a NEW FACE (new actor- Charlie Schlatter isn’t busy) playing Derek. Crazy? No more so than anything else that has happened on this increasingly more silly nighttime soap.