With the Orange Is the New Black finale imminent and Wentworth’s next season still awaiting an airdate, the time may be ripe for a new spin on humanity’s greatest form of cultural expression: the women’s prison drama. Strutting into the rec yard is Clink, a ten-part British drama that claims to have been based on real-life inmate experiences, but leans heavily on the formulae of previous shows.
It’s hard not to make comparisons to Bad Girls (a series that is now so old that Zandra Plackett’s baby could have served several sentences) especially seeing Alicia Eyo, aka Bad Girls inmate Denny Blood, in a starring role, but this time on the other side of the bars as Acting Governor Dominique Derby.
The action kicks off when Bridewell Prison’s Governor Hayes (aka June Ackland of The Bill) collapses with a brain embolism, forcing Deputy Governor Derby to step up, despite only having been on the job for two weeks. Meanwhile, we’re introduced to prison life via Chloë Anderson played by Katherine Rose Morley. You may recognise her as the pregnant teen girlfriend from Last Tango in Halifax, especially as she’s playing to type here as a pregnant ingenue, arrested for holding her boyfriend’s gun, who I suspect we are meant to be sympathetic towards.
I find that a tough ask, as she spends the whole episode either crying about her baby, crying because people are mean to her, or crying at the general hopelessness of her situation. However, if life’s taught me anything, it’s that even the straightest-seeming woman can shuffle into a fictional prison meek as a lamb, and five seasons later is striding the corridors as Top Dog with a hot blonde on her arm.
Whether Clink can make it that long is another matter though, with dialogue that’s 95% cliché and exposition that’s clunkier than a lock in a sock to the head. Chloë and Dominique’s parallel baptisms by fire take us on a whirlwind tour of familiar sights: the clueless new prison officer, the sarcastic and menacing “top dog,” the lamentation of the state of the prison service, the bridging shots of CCTV and brawling inmates. Sadly, though, Clink’s first episode lacks any distinction of its own, yet neither does it have the operatic melodrama of Wentworth, the campiness of Bad Girls or the nuance and quality of OINTB.
Most shockingly though, it doesn’t have any overt lesbian activity, beyond a few offhand comments. We are promised it though, with Alicia Eyo telling Digital Spy that “It would be weird to not have [LGBTQ] representation in a show like this, and I think it’s done very beautifully and in a very different way.”
The first episode ends with a short confrontation between Governor Derby and top dog Sherri Simms, filmed by an unknown third party, with implications that there may be more sinister machinations afoot. We can hope that this is a set up for some compelling drama, but on the evidence so far, I fear we’re in for a gruelling trial.
Seems promising. I know this isn’t a popular opinion around these parts but I’m honestly gonna miss OITNB
Not sure about promising, but the call of duty to watch dubious shows for lesbian potential is strong.
I will deffo miss the good parts of OINTB…
My absolute favourite way to watch British tele is by working out the previous characters of every actor, so thank you very much for taking us through them all.
Also, is this on like, BBC? Channel 4? What are we talking here?
Channel 5 (or rather the spin-off channel, 5*). Apparently they freed up a load of cash from stopping licensing Big Brother, and decided to spend it on drama, which is the most un-Channel-5 thing I can think of!
Channel 5!? That’s a new move. Interesting though. Didn’t realise big brother had finally died.
I wanted to enjoy this but it started looking bad early on when I realised that playing “spot the recycled actor” was more interesting than the dialogue.
Then I got distracted by an advert for a garment steamer at Argos and spent the rest of the episode engrossed in reviews (also cleans curtains/tank leaks/comes with a steam bonnet!) and completely forgot about the TV. Not sure whether that says more about me or the show but now I know I’ll never have to iron shirts ever again, so there’s that.
A steam bonnet, like, you wear it on your head while steaming stuff, to protect your ‘doo ?
I was also very confused but sadly it is just a thing to stop the steamer dripping water on the clothes. Mind you, if you buy the one that the water tank falls out of, no steam bonnet in the world is gonna help you there.
Omg comment award
I very very rarely give a show less than two episodes before I give up. This got 20 minutes. It is atrocious. Dialogue, acting, dramatic tension – or lack thereof – it fails on every score.
Also Wentworth has an air date – May 28. I believe it will air the same week in the UK. Now that’s a prison drama worth anyone’s time.
Well done on 20 minutes. I frequently had to look at my phone just to deflect the cringeworthiness, while my wife wailed in agony beside me on the sofa.
I had a degree of guilt about not giving it a chance but it made me want to rip out my own eyeballs so…
Sounds like the most interesting thing that happened with this show was whether or not Jas got that steam cleaner.