“As a 25 year old, 5’3″ AFAB genderqueer person, with a face that apparently screams ‘possibly a 14 year old unaccompanied minor in this airport??’, it’s important that I look professional enough (especially when I’m teaching) to convey some authority. Any advice you’ve got to help me achieve my goal of being the queer professor crush of everyone’s dreams?”
It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.
“The “dapper” butch looks I find when I try to google outfit inspiration don’t really fit my personality. I prefer an edgier, street style-esque sort of look, and I want to carry some of that style over into my workwear.”
What do you do when you can’t get what you want? If you’re feeling frustrated right now, you’re not alone. How do you keep your heart open?
It’s a hard time to have hope, but friends, don’t give up.
“Moving to Portland would be a dream come true, but I’m scared about being away from my support network, and finding people to live with who I can trust. Should I go?”
This week we find fits for someone looking for a “style reset” that lets them embrace their punk and grunge roots while also not being mistaken for a teenage boy anymore!
“A lot of the narrative about gender questioning at large is about tragedy, about what we lose. I encourage you (even though I know it’s challenging) to think about your gender from a different angle. What makes you feel affirmed?”
“I’m a financial planner specifically serving queer, trans, and polyamorous individuals and families, so I need to dress business-y, but I also want to look queer. I spent the first 20-something years of my life just wearing band t-shirts and chucks, and I would really love to feel more put-together and intentional with my fashion than that.”
The last round of spring cleaning! Dance like no one’s watching!
June is a time to let some joy and lightness shine into The Struggle That Is Love. Just remember to slow your roll when Mars goes retrograde.
“If y’all are close friends, you might want to make this sacrifice/compromise to preserve the friendship. Generally speaking, friends are more important than lovers, depending on how close of a friend they are.”
So far away! Courtney Trouble gets blunt about LDRs.
“I see clients every week where I have to dress business casual. It can be difficult as a butch woman to find something professional that doesn’t make me look like I’m about to officiate a wedding.”
Did someone say they needed me to answer 19 questions in one post?? No, they did not, but I did it anyway!!
One person is worried being femme and bi will stop her from dating. Another is worried being fat and having no experience will. Good news! None of that will stop you!
You and your girlfriend don’t have to have sex unless you both want to have sex, no matter how long you’ve been dating. But also if you DO wanna have sex while respecting your history of trauma, here are some tips!
18 questions and pretty much 18 answers! Is one of these questions yours? Come on in!
“How does one successfully navigate such a dramatic shift in a long-held and cherished identity?! Is it possible to have relationships with men devoid of internalized homophobia, misogyny, etc? Is it worthwhile to tell this person how I feel — could I possibly expect anyone to navigate all this baggage with me?”
Every body has a history; yours doesn’t preclude you from pleasure. Go forth and jam!