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48 Most Anticipated Queer Books Coming Out December 2024 and January 2025

We’re back with another look ahead at what’s to come in the queer books department over the next couple months, highlighting the upcoming releases that stand out the most for December 2024 and January 2025. The ones this month could make great last minute gifts, or you can also give the gift of a preorder! Preorders help authors out immensely, and here at Autostraddle, we’re always championing ways to support queer and marginalized authors.

Have something you want to shout out that isn’t below? We love that! Tell us what books we should be looking forward to! This is a conversation! Talk to us!

December 3

The Rivals by Jane Pek (Mystery)
Private Rites by Julia Armfield (Novel)
How to Fuck Like a Girl by Vera Blossom (Essays)

The Rivals by Jane Pek (Mystery)

A meta mystery about a protagonist who loves mystery novels, The Rivals is about Claudia Lin, who co-runs a “dating detective agency,” a service that helps users know if prospective partners are lying to them. There’s an AI conspiracy afoot as well as a love triangle that includes Claudia’s coworker Becks. Sounds cute!

Private Rites by Julia Armfield (Novel)

The author of Our Wives Under the Sea — one of my favorite novels to come out in the past decade — is back for her sophomore release. Private Rites is a sister book, a messy family book, a climate crisis book. It’s all my favorite things! Armfield’s sentences are as gorgeous as ever. You don’t want to miss this one!

How to Fuck Like a Girl by Vera Blossom (Essays)

I’ve already read this one and can assure you you’re gonna love it! A full review is forthcoming, but it’s basically the hottest manifesto ever written. Blossom has written THE essay collection for those of us whose queerness was shaped and nurtured significantly by our online lives — tumblr, in particular. It’s the best sex essay collection I’ve read in a minute, which shouldn’t be surprising based on the in-your-face title.

Roland Rogers Isn’t Dead Yet by Samantha Allen (Romance)
S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt (Reprint)
Sister Snake, by Amanda Lee Koe (Novel)

Roland Rogers Isn’t Dead Yet by Samantha Allen (Romance)

I adored Allen’s debut novel Patricia Wants to Cuddle, where reality television meets queer monster horror. So I’m very much looking forward to delving into her sophomore release, which is about a ghostwriter writing for a…literal ghost! Allen’s skill at twisting horror tropes to make them her own was very much on display with her first novel, and I can’t wait for more.

S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt (Reprint)

This is a re-release of Minnie Bruce Pratt’s lyrical memoir. Pratt passed last year, so there’s no better time to revisit or introduce yourself to her work.

Sister Snake, by Amanda Lee Koe (Novel)

This is a literary reimagining of the Chinese folktale The Legend of the White Snake, and it concerns two sisters — one in New York and one in Singapore. It is the author’s second novel, and she’s a great short story writer. Check out her story “The Sole Purveyor of Madame Bovary in Beijing circa 1989“, published in Granta.

Ardent Violet and the Infinite Eye by Alex White (Sci-Fi)

To Shatter the Night by Katherine Quinn (Fantasy)

Robin’s Worlds by Rainie Oet and Mathias Ball (Childrens)

Ardent Violet and the Infinite Eye by Alex White (Sci-Fi)

This is the second installment of White’s queer space opera trilogy.

To Shatter the Night by Katherine Quinn (Fantasy)

A followup to the bestseller To Kill a Shadow, this epic fantasy release follows the twisty adventures of Kiara Frey. It is recommended that this duology be read in order, so make sure to check out To Kill a Shadow before moving on to this one.

Robin’s Worlds by Rainie Oet and Mathias Ball (Childrens)

A children’s book with a nonbinary kid at the center! Robin’s eighth birthday turns into a magical adventure with lessons about community, self-love, and friendship along the way. Very sweet!

Free From Falling by E.L Massey
The Shutouts by Gabrielle Korn (Novel)

Free From Falling by E.L Massey (Romance)

Transfemme frontwoman of a rock band Sydney Warren doesn’t do relationships, but the second someone in a romance novel says they don’t do relationships, you know they’re gonna find themselves in a relationship, right? Sydney is about to have her whole life rocked!

The Shutouts by Gabrielle Korn (Novel)

Korn is BACK with a sequel-prequel to her wonderful dystopian novel Yours for the Taking, which I loved. Meet new queer characters and a whole new set of climate horrors in her latest!

December 10

What the Woods Took by Courtney Gould (YA Horror)

The Blessed by Anne Shade (Romantasy)

We Are The Beasts by Gigi Griffis (Horror)

What the Woods Took by Courtney Gould (YA Horror)

Devin Green is abducted in the middle of the night in a plan concocted by her foster parents to enroll her in an experimental “therapy” program where youth have to go on a 50 day “hike” in the wilderness — a wilderness where weird shit keeps happening. There’s a queer romance that unfolds amid the horror. Side note: This title could be the alternate title to Yellowjackets.

The Blessed by Anne Shade (Romantasy)

Suri Daniels is the descendant of a supernatural lineage of women, and Layla Jefferies is the love child of a demon and a human, and their paths will cross in wild (and gay) ways in this sapphic romantasy.

We Are The Beasts by Gigi Griffis (Horror)

A strange beast is wreaking havoc on the French countryside, and two girls come up with the brilliant plan to fake their friends’ deaths so they can hide them away in plans of escape. Historical horror!

How to Get A Life In Ten Dates by Jenny L. Howe (Romance)

How to Get A Life In Ten Dates by Jenny L. Howe (Romance)

This is a rom-com with a fat bisexual protagonist whose friends and family set her up with ten different people in anticipation of having a plus one to her sister’s engagement celebration.

December 17

How Could You by Ren Strapp (Graphic Novel)

North is the Night by Emily Rath (Romantasy)

Deviant Matter: Ferment, Intoxicants, Jelly, Rot by Kyla Wazana Tompkins (Nonfiction)

How Could You by Ren Strapp (Graphic Novel)

Longtime Autostraddle comics artist Ren Strapp has a new graphic novel coming out all about queer friendship and relationship dynamics with a diverse cast of characters. If you’ve fallen in love with the Reine comics through the years, you’re not going to want to miss this full-length graphic novel! Support Autostraddle fam!

North is the Night by Emily Rath (Romantasy)

Set in the Finnish wilderness, here is a tale of girls, gods, and gays.

Deviant Matter: Ferment, Intoxicants, Jelly, Rot by Kyla Wazana Tompkins (Nonfiction)

Kyla Wazana Tompkins does archival, historical, theoretical, and political work in Deviant Matter, which “delves into a vast archive that includes nineteenth-century medical and scientific writing; newspaper comic strips and early film; the Food and Drug Act of 1906; the literature of Martin Delany, Louisa May Alcott and Herman Melville; and twenty-first century queer minoritarian video, installation, and performance art.”

How to Be Heard by Roxane Gay (Advice)

Designed to be practical writing advice, Roxane Gay’s upcoming book is designed to help people find their own voices and pursue their writing craft. It’s an approachable, voicey guide rather than a stuffy craft book. Would probably make a good holiday gift for writers, so get your preorders in! This one hasn’t had an official cover reveal yet, and this book has had an interesting journey, as Gay pulled a previous version of it from Simon & Schuster over their book deal with Milo Yiannopoulous many years back.

December 24

A Sky of Emerald Stars by A.K. Mulford (Romantasy)

Heavenly Tyrant (Iron Widow #2) by Xiran Jay Zhao (YA Sci-Fi)

A Sky of Emerald Stars by A.K. Mulford (Romantasy)

Yes, New Book Tuesday coincides with Christmas Eve this year, and there are a couple queer books hitting shelves on the holiday. It appears to be quite the couple of months for new queer romantasy. This is the second book in a romantasy trilogy, and it features sapphic love.

Heavenly Tyrant (Iron Widow #2) by Xiran Jay Zhao (YA Sci-Fi)

This is the sequel to Iron Widow, in which “Pacific Rim meets The Handmaid’s Tale in this blend of Chinese history and mecha science fiction for YA readers.” For sci-fi/fantasy readers of YA!

January 7

Voice Like a Hyacinth by Mallory Pearson (Novel)

Single Player by Tara Tai (Romance)

How We Make Each Other: Trans Life at the Edge of the University by Perry Zurn (Nonfiction)

Voice Like a Hyacinth by Mallory Pearson (Novel)

Autostraddle contributing writer Mallory Pearson pens a novel steeped in ritual and obsession, and I mean, if you’ve read her cannibalism essay or her Bloody Mary essay on here, then you already know to expect delicious sentences. The book is about five young women who turn to the occult to curse their creepy professor. I’m super excited about this one and have become a fast fan of Pearson’s haunting writing!

Single Player by Tara Tai (Romance)

Calling all enemies-to-lovers fans! This one is for you! And it’s about two video game creators, so if you’re a gamer who loves the enemies-to-lovers trope, even better.

How We Make Each Other: Trans Life at the Edge of the University by Perry Zurn (Nonfiction)

Zurn looks at trans policies and experiences at the higher education institutions Amherst College, Hampshire College, Mount Holyoke College, Smith College, and the University of Massachusetts, Amherst in this new trans studies book.

The Three Lives of Cate Kay: A Novel by Kate Fagan (Thriller)

The Afterdark by E.Latimer (YA Horror)

The Assassin’s Guide to Babysitting by Natalie C. Parker (YA Fantasy)

The Three Lives of Cate Kay: A Novel by Kate Fagan (Thriller)

A famous but mysterious bestselling author whose true identity has been concealed finally comes forward after years of obscuring her past, which sends her on a journey home. It’s a lesbian thriller that sounds very intriguing!

The Afterdark by E.Latimer (YA Horror)

Queer horror set at a boarding school? Oh, yes please!

The Assassin’s Guide to Babysitting by Natalie C. Parker (YA Fantasy)

Powerful Tru has to hide her identity and abilities or risk being hunted down and navigates all the usual challenges of young queer life: hiding your truest self and harboring a crush on your bestie’s older sister.

How to Sleep at Night by Elizabeth Harris (Novel)

The Last Bookstore on Earth by Lilly Braun-Arnold (YA Romantasy)

An Honored Vow: The Halfling Saga #4 by Melissa Blair (Romantasy)

How to Sleep at Night by Elizabeth Harris (Novel)

Ethan and Gabe are a gay couple on opposite sides of the political spectrum, and Ethan wants to run for Congress as a Republican. Nicole, meanwhile, is a queer woman feeling off in her marriage to her husband when a former love interest resurfaces in the form of Kate, Ethan’s sister. Surely everything here will go smoothly and without conflict.

The Last Bookstore on Earth by Lilly Braun-Arnold (YA Romantasy)

Teen girl Liz lives in the bookstore she used to work at in the aftermath of a world-ruining storm. With another superstorm on the horizon, Maeve breaks into the bookstore for shelter one day, and the two girls fall in love at the end of the world, naturally!

An Honored Vow: The Halfling Saga #4 by Melissa Blair (Romantasy)

Queer Indigenous author Melissa Blair pens a sprawling queer romantasy saga, and this is the final installment!

Four Ruined Realms (The Broken Blades #2) by Mai Corland (Fantasy)

Four Ruined Realms (The Broken Blades #2) by Mai Corland (Fantasy)

Another fantasy series best enjoyed in order, you’ll want to check out the first installment Five Broken Blades before delving into its followup due out later this month. This sounds like a book for the sword lesbians!

January 14

Brewed With Love by Shelly Page (YA Romantasy)

Good Girl by Aria Aber (Novel)

Murder in the Dressing Room by Holly Stars (Mystery)

Brewed With Love by Shelly Page (YA Romantasy)

A teen witch fights to keep her family’s apothecary afloat with the help of her first crush.

Good Girl by Aria Aber (Novel)

Oh I cannot WAIT for this one, which has some incredible blurbs from writers I love dearly. Nila is the daughter of Afghan refugees raised in Berlin and finding her voice as an artist in the city’s underground art and rave scenes. This might be my personal MOST anticipated novel on this most anticipated list.

Murder in the Dressing Room by Holly Stars (Mystery)

A mystery novel set in London’s drag scene! Camp meets hard-boiled here, and that sounds like a very fun time!

This Love by Lotte Jeffs (Novel)

Confessions by Catherine Airey (Novel)

Ring by Michelle Lerner (Novel)

This Love by Lotte Jeffs (Novel)

Mae and Ari meet outside a gay bar during their final year of university and embark on a lifelong friendship and vow to one day have a child together, which as the years pass, proves to be a complicated promise as they both deal with all the hardships of life from grief to bad relationships and more. I love art about intracommunity queer friendship, and this seems like exactly that! I love the playful cover, too.

Confessions by Catherine Airey (Novel)

Three generations of women are at the center of this novel, which spans New York City, late September 2001; County Donegal, Ireland, 1974; and Burtonport, Ireland, 2018. It covers art, politics, family, feminism, and more.

Ring by Michelle Lerner (Novel)

Grief, depression, and suicide are all touch on in this novel from poet Michelle Lerner. It features a nonbinary person from the Midwest and a very special dog.

Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto (Sci-Fi/Fantasy)

Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto (Sci-Fi/Fantasy)

Native Hawaiian and lesbian science-fiction author Makana Yamamoto pens a heist/sci-fi adventure book that doubles as a “love letter to Hawai’i.”

January 21

French Pressed Love: A Slow Burn Sapphic Romance by MC Hutson (Romance)

The Relationship Mechanic by Karmen Lee (Romance)

Zoe Brennan, First Crush by Laura Piper Lee (Romance)

French Pressed Love: A Slow Burn Sapphic Romance by MC Hutson (Romance)

A slow burn coffee shop-set romance for lovers of caffeine and lesbian love, naturally.

The Relationship Mechanic by Karmen Lee (Romance)

This is a Black sapphic romance about a hot mechanic in the South. It’s for the girls who know what a carburetor is! Or who just like a fun rom-com time and maybe would like to LEARN what a carburetor is!

Zoe Brennan, First Crush by Laura Piper Lee (Romance)

So we have romance for coffee lovers, romance for car lovers, and now romance for wine lovers. January is chock full of rom-coms, and this one is about a lonely lesbian running her family’s vineyard. Next door, her ex-best friend turned enemy Rachel runs a rival vineyard. Zoe decides to have a blindfolded threesome, and it turns out the hot butch in the threesome isn’t a stranger but rather Rachel’s older sister and Zoe’s first crush, Laine. Wine-soaked shenanigans ensue!

Just Like Queen Esther by Ari Moffic & Kerry Olitzky (Picture Book)

Just Like Queen Esther by Ari Moffic & Kerry Olitzky (Picture Book)

Here is a trans Jewish kids’ book centered on Purim.

January 28

Comedic Timing: A Modern Romance by Upasna Barath (Romance)

West Hollywood Monster Squad by Sina Grace and Bradley Clayton (YA Graphic Novel)

It’s a Love/Skate Relationship by Carli J Corson (YA Romance)

Comedic Timing: A Modern Romance by Upasna Barath (Romance)

Naina Rao is a bisexual woman in her mid-twenties and fresh off of a breakup with with her older girlfriend when she meets aspiring filmmaker David. It’s a straightforward romance set in NYC.

West Hollywood Monster Squad by Sina Grace and Bradley Clayton (YA Graphic Novel)

Literal monsters attack a drag show attended by a group of high schoolers who have to all team up to fight back like a big gay superhero team.

It’s a Love/Skate Relationship by Carli J Corson (YA Romance)

Queer slow-burn hockey romance ALERT!

On the Wings of La Noche by Vanessa L. Torres (YA Romantasy)

elseship: an unrequited affair by Tree Abraham (Experimental Memoir)

We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin

On the Wings of La Noche by Vanessa L. Torres (YA Romantasy)

Noche mourns the drowning and death of her girlfriend Dante by day. By night, she’s a Lechuza who can visit her dead girlfriend by the lake where she drowned. But Noche can’t tether Dante to earth forever.

elseship: an unrequited affair by Tree Abraham (Experimental Memoir)

Out from one of my favorite small presses, Soft Skull, this experimental book tackles love and friendship. Tree falls in love with her friend and housemate, but the feelings are not reciprocated. It sounds like a very candid and complex exploration of unrequited love.

We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin

From the author of Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead and Interesting Facts About Space comes this humorous tale of two sisters finding their way back to each other and to their authentic selves.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3272 articles for us.

Nikki Giovanni Never Stopped Standing Up for What’s Right

feature image photo by Jackson State University / Contributor via Getty Images

On Monday, it was reported that Nikki Giovanni — internationally recognized poet and leader in the Black Arts Movement who urged us to believe in and fight for a world without the limits of systemic racism and injustice — lost her third battle with cancer at the age of 81.

It feels impossible to try to encapsulate the immense influence that Giovanni and her work brought into the world over the course of her incredible life. In response to the Civil Rights Movement and the Black Power Movement of 1960s and 1970s, Giovanni, along with Audre Lorde, Gwendolyn Brooks, Sonia Sanchez, Ntozake Shange, Amiri Baraka, and others, helped forged new pathways to publication and celebration for Black artists of all kinds in the U.S. and created new cultural institutions to showcase their work and provide support for Black artists who needed it. As she organized with others in the Black Arts Movement and, eventually, other queer Black women writers, Giovanni published prolifically, putting out a new collection of poetry, children’s book, or record nearly every year for over a decade. Her first collection of poems published in 1968, Black Feelings Black Talk, not only established her as a one of the most important artists within the movement but also helped her work reach new audiences and cement her as one of the most important American poets. In it, she wrote about the intersections of love, radical politics, race, and the realities of existing as a Black woman poet in an oppressive and unwelcoming society.

Born in Knoxville, Tennessee on June 7, 1943, Giovanni spent the majority of her early childhood in the suburbs surrounding Cincinnati, Ohio before returning to Tennessee to move in with her grandmother after the tensions between her grandparents became too much for her to handle. She went on to attend Fisk University, the same university her grandfather attended. After initially being unjustly expelled from Fisk for clashing with the university’s Dean of Women at the time, Giovanni was eventually asked back to Fisk, where she majored in history and took writing classes with Fisk’s writer-in-residence, the novelist John Oliver Killens. Her involvement in Killens’s workshops led her to attend the First Writers Conference at Fisk in 1966 where she met Dudley Randall and Amiri Baraka, writers she would soon organize with in the Black Arts Movement. During her time at Fisk, she also helped reinstate Fisk’s chapter of the radical Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, edited Fisk’s student literary journal Èlan, and published works in Negro Digest.

After graduating from Fisk in 1967, Giovanni moved to New York City to pursue an MFA in poetry from Columbia University. While there, she published Black Feelings Black Talk, and her writing career began to take off after its publication. By the early 1970s, Giovanni was frequently a guest on the WNET public television show SOUL!, where she was invited on as a guest to speak with other prominent Black artists and writers. Her involvement with the show led to the legendary two hour conversation between her and James Baldwin in 1971 that is often clipped and shared on social media every couple of months. The conversation touched on a lot of the commonalities the two writers share in regards to their experiences as Black artists, the similarities of their childhoods, Black love and partnership, and their beliefs in using arts as tool for advancing radical political possibilities while also showcasing the gender-oppressive and misogynistic aspects Giovanni believed people in the Black Arts, Civil Rights, and Black Power movement often ignored. Her sharpness in their conversation managed to gag James Baldwin in a way I’ve never seen in any other footage and, in retrospect, is a wildly accurate showcase of how she would take on the world of arts and letters for her entire career.

Throughout the 1970s and early 1980s, Giovanni continued to publish poetic works and works for children. In 1987, she was prompted by the woman who would eventually become her wife, Virginia Fowler, to join the English department faculty at Virginia Technical University, where she worked and taught until the fall of 2022. Over the course of her decades-spanning career, she often made herself available in a variety of ways including public talks, appearances at book and culture festivals, and through programs like All Arts “Write Around the Corner.” In 2023, a gorgeous and expertly crafted documentary about her life, Going to Mars: The Nikki Giovanni Project, was produced by HBOMax, and features a ton of archival footage of Giovanni working over the last 50 years as well interviews with people who are close to her and love her.

In the documentary, Giovanni explains “The one thing that I did know is that whatever life would be, I knew I had to create myself,” which perfectly explains the way Giovanni moved through the world for her entire life. A fierce advocate for Black art and Black artists, an unapologetic hip hop fan who had a replica of Tupac’s “Thug Life” tattoo put on her own body, a woman who never suffered under the weight of others’ opinions about her, and a person who truly believed we could change the world through everyday acts of radical mercy and love, Giovanni understood more than most that it was our duty to both create a world worth living in and to celebrate the beauties present in the one we currently have simultaneously. Her poetry, particularly one of her most famous poems, “Nikki-Rosa,” exemplified this wholly but so did everything she did in her life beyond her written work. She lived by example and wasn’t afraid to tell people when they were derelict of their duty to one another.

This year, while fighting this third and final cancer diagnosis, Giovanni continued to work and write poetry with a final collection of poems called The Last Book coming out next year. Perhaps more importantly, though, not even getting older and fighting illness could pry Giovanni away from what she viewed as her biggest and most imperative responsibility: standing up for what is right “even when the shit hits the fan.” While doing press for the documentary’s release at the beginning of this year, Giovanni said in an interview with Oxford American, “I think the transgender kids are the bravest kids right now that we see; they’re as brave as my generation was in breaking down segregation. They’re breaking down—I don’t have the word for it right now—but it’s gender prejudice, and [the idea that] somebody has decided that they can tell you who you are, what your name should be, and how you should look. […] I think the transgender students are really brave because they’re taking a lot of flack for just wanting to be themselves and to have the right to have their own name. I think that’s incredibly brave, and I think that they’re absolutely right to want to do that. To want to own themselves.”

Then, in March of this year, alongside Doreen St. Félix, Giovanni cancelled a much publicized PEN America-sponsored appearance at the Brooklyn Museum in response to both PEN America’s and the museum’s stances on the genocide in Palestine. St. Félix and Giovanni put out a joint statement on Instagram the day before the event writing they had “withdrawn from the program in response to the refusal of both PEN America and Brooklyn Museum to stand in solidarity with people of Palestine and against genocide.”

I first encountered Nikki Giovanni performing “Nikki Rosa” on a late-night rerun of HBO’s Def Poetry Jam at some point during high school, and I remember being immediately hooked by her cadence and the way she used such accessible language to send much more complicated and nuanced messages. At that moment, I could’ve never expected that so much of her work would continue to rattle in the back of my head for the rest of my adult life, but she has remained a figure I’m constantly looking up to for guidance and strength as I continue pushing forward in my own “duties” and responsibilities. Her loss is as immense as her impact, but I also think it’s important to celebrate the fact that she was with us for so long and that she lived a beautiful life she conjured and built through her determination to hold joy as close to her as she possibly can. I’m sure that more than anything, she’d want us to remember she lives on forever through her work, so I’ll end this with one of my favorite of her poems, “Revolutionary Dreams”:

i used to dream militant
dreams of taking
over america to show
these white folks how it should be
done
i used to dream radical dreams
of blowing everyone away with my perceptive powers
of correct analysis
i even used to think i’d be the one
to stop the riot and negotiate the peace
then i awoke and dug
that if i dreamed natural
dreams of being a natural
woman doing what a woman
does when she’s natural
i would have a revolution

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Stef Rubino

Stef Rubino is a writer, community organizer, competitive powerlifter, and former educator from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. They're currently working on book of essays and preparing for their next powerlifting meet. They’re the fat half of the arts and culture podcast Fat Guy, Jacked Guy, and you can read some of their other writing in Change Wire and in Catapult. You can also find them on Twitter (unfortunately).

Stef has written 117 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. Thanks for this tribute/update. Her poems are some of my all time favorites, especially “when i die.” She will be so missed!

Comments are closed.

‘I Want To Call My Partner Mommy’

Q:

My partner and I have been cohabitating for two years now, it’s been pretty crazy time — we’ve just recently exited what was a pretty intense survival situation with an intense imbalance of caring/cared for (I was the carer). This has been running roughly the length of my relationship, it’s been full on and incredibly intimate and honestly it’s shocking how well we’ve navigated it. We’re coming out the other side and it’s awesome, I couldn’t be happier. It feels like we are cohabitating and we have all this history and deep bond but we are also kind of just starting to get to know each other in this beautiful, nurturing, almost teenage way — with the added benefit of our built up emotional skills and maturity that we’ve grown together so beautifully. It’s pretty great.

Our sex life has always been fun and intense, but it’s had the convenience of a degree of easy compatibility between us that hasn’t required much in the way of verbal communication (don’t get me wrong, we could have benefited from it, but also communicating about sensitive topics was challenging for a long time and we’re both pretty seriously messed up people to start with). But now it’s like okay, definitely time to make all the implied nonverbal stuff verbal! oh noooo~~~~

So. In bed, I have found myself thinking about calling her mommy. It has caught me off guard and gotten me off so hard and given the way that she engages with me, I have very strong reason to believe that she is into that dynamic. I have been struggling with a lot of shame about this but I’m also really excited. I think it’s safe to assume for the purposes of this letter that she’s into it too — she talks about mothering a lot, clearly gets a kick out of interacting with me and other people in her life in that way, and says she finds it affirming. If this isn’t something she’s interested in that’s a whole other thing, and I’ll navigate that okay — the issue for me right now is talking about it! (and puppyplay, and CNC, and…. etc etc…

A:

Oh hell yeah, I am SO glad you’re making your way out of a horrible time in life. Few things are greater than having that sense of surety that something horrible is passing and you can look to yourself again. The fact that this freshness is shaping your relationship positively? Even better. Massive credit to your efforts.

So I’m gonna address your quandary with two related topics: communicating through uncertainty and discussing new dynamics.

You’ve done well to point out that communicating sensitive issues can be difficult in your relationship. And I think we’re all happy for the easy, intuitive intimacy you share with your partner. A lot of relationships start showing cracks when communication difficulties meet sex. Even so, there’s a safe threshold for how far intuition and comfort can carry us before communication becomes a need. I think you’ve reached that stage where your interpersonal toolkit reaches its limits and things get a little scary.

I don’t think I need to write back to tell you how to communicate because I’m confident in your relationship’s ability to do that. Relationships that weather major stresses and still show a caring bond basically always have a working communicative foundation. Your foundation may look different from mine, but it’s clear your relationship is capable of handling difficult topics from a place of care. Instead, I’ll focus on the shame of calling someone mommy. Because there’s something inescapably taboo there.

I’m utterly familiar with negotiating shame and kink. At its heart, kink deviates from established social norms. That’s why it’s ‘kinky’. It’s literally a bit bent and unusual. Deviating from a norm isn’t shameful on its own. Shame shows up when that deviance meets the part of ourselves we haven’t spoken to yet. In a sexual context, that can manifest as being drawn to an act that others don’t find troubling, but we do. We find it so very awkward, strange, and hot. For many kinks, the discomfort we experience in that shame is part of the fun. My personal enjoyment of consensual non-consent (CNC) partly stems from the incongruity and wrongness of the whole act. If I started seeing CNC as normal, I’d probably lose interest pretty fast.

Aside from shame making us feel out-of-balance, there’s also the quality of unspoken needs. A sharply felt interest in something shameful to us often speaks to an existing need. I’d venture a guess that most people who participate in BDSM do so because they want to explore a complex relationship with control and power. I can speak for myself by saying that I like CNC because I’m very tightly wound and live by a strict rules-based order. Conversely, being the subject of CNC lets me fulfil an unmet need for unmitigated release. I can’t let go on my own so I get a little help.

So to cap off this thing of communication, the questions I’d like you to ask yourself aren’t about communicating with your partner. I think you have the essentials there. The questions are about communicating with yourself.

  • What topics did I have a hard time bringing up to my partner in the past and can I see a pattern there?
  • When I have discussed difficult topics with her in the past, was she receptive and understanding?
  • If I were to start calling her ‘mommy’, which part of me would feel most soothed?

Next up, initiating discussions about a new dynamic.

I’ll start with my usual assurance: There’s nothing wrong with your kink or any kink practiced in a manner that respects bodily autonomy and well-being. Since we’re assuming she gets a kick out of stuff that’s adjacent to caregiving kink, I think you already have a good starting point. You’ve described a robust relationship that endures interpersonal pain. You have an established sex life rather than salvaging a shitty one by injecting kink into the relationship. Most importantly, your partner seems into some of the interactions tied to your kink.

Great start. Makes my job so much easier.

The best advice I can give you is something about starting small. You don’t have to spring ‘mommy’ on her in the first talk. That’s a major interest for you, but you’re also into other aspects of the potential dynamic. Giving submission, adding more caregiving into sex, etc. Those also need to be hashed out before starting a dynamic and they are much more approachable than telling her you want to call her mommy ASAP.

If the main topic you want to broach with her seems overwhelming, start with something adjacent and easier. It’ll help you invite her into your desire more gently while assuaging your fear a little. Maybe start with a conversation about adding a bit more carer/caregiving play to sex. That talk can bring her interests aboard too. ‘Mommy’ and ‘woof’ can cum later.

Starting with a smaller topic is also a foundation-laying step in opening a new dynamic. When we set out to reshape our relationship in some way, jumping into the heavy stuff can be destabilizing. Just like dating, first impressions matter, and it’s not helpful to take risks when people’s mental health and traumatic past are potentially in play. Kinky dynamics require persistent communication to uphold. Starting in a manageable place lets us build a good habit of talking regularly. It’s much easier to do sexual communication when it’s actually palatable.

I hope I’ve been helpful, but I also think you’ve got a lot of the important stuff in place to make this happen. It’s okay to feel kink-crazy when you discover something newly arousing in your partner. That’s the energy-intense vibe that many of us thrive on. But we still need to lay down some basics before the paddle comes out.


You can chime in with your advice in the comments and submit your own questions any time.

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Summer Tao

Summer Tao is a South Africa based writer. She has a fondness for queer relationships, sexuality and news. Her love for plush cats, and video games is only exceeded by the joy of being her bright, transgender self

Summer has written 56 articles for us.

What To Buy the Chappell Roan Fan You Love for the Holidays

Chappell Roan gifts are bound to be all the rage this year, so get your orders in like they’re hot to go! Of course, if you want to support Chappell’s artistry directly, be sure to check out her official merch. And below, find everything from stocking stuffers to special editions of her album to wearables and Chappell-inspired home goods that’ll have any space looking like the Pink Pony Club.


Stocking Stuffers

Gays sure do love our stickers and buttons, and there are lots of Chappell-themed ones on Etsy. The selection of Chappell-inspired ornaments for your tree is also huge!

The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess

Listen, a lot of Chappell fans are likely going to already have the album on vinyl, but there are some fun special release versions of the album they might want to add to their collection.

Drinkware

It really feels like there should be more/cuter Red Wine Supernova wine glass designs out there, but alas, I couldn’t find one I loved!

Chappell Looks

No I NEED someone to buy this set of bolo ties because it’s so cute!!! I tried to avoid items that feel too much like rip-offs of official merch. Please buy the actual Midwest Princess hat! The knockoffs won’t be as good quality-wise, I assure you. If you want to go a little more abstract with your Chappell-inspired gift giving, you can always refer back to our guide for what to wear to her shows and gift something off of it! There are some really good hats, bags, and jewelry pieces on that guide, too.

Gifts for Turning a Home Into the Pink Pony Club

Listen, if you know a Chappell fan who also plays DnD, then I can’t imagine a better gift than this Pink Pony Club-themed dice tray! Pair it with some Chappellish dice!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

Gift Guide To Support Palestinian and Lebanese Artists and Brands This Holiday Season

Another holiday season is here — which is confusing because I’m still processing 2023. Alas, time has passed and what better way to partake in the forced push toward capitalism than to put your money behind some Palestinian and Lebanese brands and artisans who are working hard to preserve their culture, protect their people, and honor their legacy? Whether you’re looking for specialty food items, handmade pottery and home goods, or gifts for your younger, cooler cousins, there’s a little something for everyone below. There’s no better way to stick it to the proverbial man than to spend your money morally.


Home Goods

For those who want to fill their home with beautiful, handmade items, we’ve got some good options that range in price! One of my favorite artists to buy from is Pam Totah, who effortlessly blends her Palestinian heritage into each of her unique pottery pieces. Perhaps you’re searching for that perfect serving bowl, Zeit & Zatar stacker, or a unique planter — everything Pam crafts is worth gifting. If you’re looking for other tatreez-inspired gifts, Turabi Ceramics, Hilweh Market, or Aswaq offer a variety of items for the home that play with color and texture. Hilweh ethically sources handblown glass from Hebron in Palestine from small family-owned businesses that have been specializing in their craft since the 12th century. It’s dreamy, it’s unique, and it tells an important story. Aswaq’s ornate, wooden mosaic backgammon sets are almost too pretty to play with but make for the perfect gifts regardless. For everything from stationary and leather goods to olive-wood bowls and serving utensils, look no further than the Palestinian Home and Lifestyle shop El Bustan. Lastly, I would be remiss not to highlight the stunning watercolor paintings by my friend, Stephanie Tager, which beautifully capture life in Lebanon. You can order her unique prints here, or for a truly memorable gift, consider commissioning a custom piece for a loved one!

Cookbooks and Coffee Table Books

Who doesn’t love books? More importantly, who doesn’t love a beautifully designed book that reflects your high-brow taste and cultural affinities? Reem Kassis’ The Palestinian Table isn’t just a gorgeous addition to any room — it’s also packed with some of my all-time favorite Palestinian recipes. It’s a gift that brings both aesthetic appeal and culinary delight.

Similarly, Fadi Kattan’s Bethlehem offers so much more than recipes. It’s a love letter to one of the world’s most storied cities, celebrating local Palestinian farmers and artisans while weaving in culinary experimentation and personal narratives. It’s perfect for anyone who appreciates food as a gateway to culture and history.

For something non-food-related, last year my cousin gifted me An Archive of Love from the Middle East Archive’s publishing platform. This book is a gem, dedicated to rediscovering and celebrating the visual narratives of the Middle East. It highlights the beauty of everyday moments often overlooked in the West’s narrow, geopolitical lens. It’s a meaningful and visually stunning gift for anyone who loves exploring untold stories.

Food and Beverages

1. Za'atar ($10)2. Rumi Olive Oil ($36)
3. Ya Albi Olive Oil ($32)
4. Wine (Varies)
5, Golden Arak Ramallah ($25)
6. Arak Muaddi ($110)

1. Za’atar ($10)
2. Rumi Olive Oil ($36)
3. Ya Albi Olive Oil ($32)
4. Wine (Varies)
5, Golden Arak Ramallah ($25)
6. Arak Muaddi ($110)

Ultimately, some of the best gifts are the ones you can eat, and the Levant offers some of the finest flavors to savor. First and foremost, every kitchen needs a proper, tangy za’atar spice blend (and no, the one from Trader Joe’s doesn’t count — you’re missing the point entirely). Z&Z Za’atar is one of my favorites — it’s got that perfect zing of zest, the ideal balance of sesame seeds to thyme, and it’s always fresh. Whether you’re sprinkling it on salads, jazzing up your avocado toast, or seasoning your meats, Z&Z delivers every time. Or, do what we Arabs do: Dip warm, crusty bread first into olive oil, then into a bowl of za’atar. It’s a ritual that beats butter, trust me. To complete the gift, you’ll need some exceptional Palestinian olive oil. Canaan’s olive oil is my go-to for those fancy, finishing drizzles. Beyond its rich, peppery flavor, I love that Canaan safeguards and uplifts the ancient art of olive oil production in Palestine. They partner with over 1,000 Palestinian farmers, preserving a tradition that has been in their families for generations. This oil isn’t just a pantry staple; it’s a story of resilience, history, and care. For a playful, vibrant twist, Ya Albi Olive Oil makes a fantastic gift. Female-founded and family-run, this brand launched just this year and has already won hearts with its fun branding and deliciously bold oil. Supporting Ya Albi means supporting women entrepreneurs and Palestinian heritage — what better way to spread some holiday cheer?

Of course, what is a holiday season without alcohol? For those who love trying wines across the Middle East, look no further than Terra Sancta Wines, a company committed to honoring Indigenous wine practices in the Levant and bringing them to the United States. If you’re a fan of the traditional Levantine distilled spirit Arak, known for its distinct anise flavor, there are two standout options to consider. Golden Arak Ramallah is a classic choice that captures the essence of the region, while Arak Muaddi is a top-tier, award-winning spirit handcrafted in small batches. Whether you’re gifting a casual drinker or a serious connoisseur, Arak brings a taste of the Levant to the table.

Lifestyle

There’s so much to love in this category — it’s hard to choose! For affordable, gift-worthy jewelry, look no further than Nominal, known for their unique name and map necklaces. Plus, they offer a lifetime warranty on all their pieces, making them as durable as they are beautiful.

SkatePal is a standout for its collaborations with artists worldwide, creating clothing, books, and prints that directly support the growing skateboarding community in Palestine. Their designs are meaningful and stylish, making them an easy choice for anyone who values art with a purpose.

For sporty style, One Pulse Collective offers trendy tracksuits while donating 10% of their sales across the SWANA region — fashion with a cause. Soccer fans (and even non-sporty types) will love PaliRoots’ vintage Palestine soccer jerseys, which are effortlessly cool and perfect for game day or any day. On a playful note, Watan’s “Catfiyyeh” T-shirts are another quirky favorite.

And finally, what’s the holiday season without a nod to Edward Said? OffBeatCitrus creates T-shirts and crewnecks that celebrate one of Palestine’s most influential thinkers, perfect for the bookish and bold on your gift list.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Elena Dudum

Elena Dudum is a Palestinian-Syrian writer whose work explores the boundaries of generational trauma and what it means to have an identity shaped by political narratives. As a grandchild of Palestinian refugees, her working memoir hopes to untangle the notion of “homeland” and how one can connect to this amorphous idea in the diaspora. Her personal essays on Palestine have been published in The Atlantic, TIME Magazine, Bon Appétit, and Cosmopolitan Magazine among others.

Elena has written 2 articles for us.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya’s Favorite Things: What To Buy Someone Who Is a Triple Threat (Can Cook, Write, and Play Tennis)

Do you have someone in your life who loves to cook and to play tennis and read books? Well, this extremely niche gift guide is for you!


Burlap & Barrel Spices ($56 for a six-spice set)

a spice set

My spice drawer is a sacred space, and my absolute favorite brand is Burlap & Barrel. They’re single-origin spices, and they have so many that I’m constantly coveting their latest releases. I should probably look into their subscription program. If you love to cook or just love flavor, these are the spices to get.

Immersion Blender ($50)

immersion blender

I don’t need overly fancy kitchen gadgets. A standard immersion blender is one of my favorite go-to tools when cooking. I make a lot of soups!

Bialetti Moka Pot ($37)

bialetti moka pot

We have a million ways to make coffee in our home, but I’ve already written about our programmable coffeemaker, and while our Breville is probably my favorite, it’s a little on the expensive end for gift giving.

Monitor ($130)

computer monitor

Everyone who works from home should have a monitor imo.

DVD Drive ($39)

dvd player

I bought this for hurricane season so my wife and I can still watch movies even when the power’s out. If you know someone who lives somewhere where the power can go out for long periods of time, you should get them one of these!!

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson ($16)

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Obviously, there are a million books I’d like to put on this list but I’m trying to limit myself so it isn’t all just books!

Helen House by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya ($15)

Helen House by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

But also fuck it, I’m putting my own book on here lol. But also my book is the perfect size for a stocking stuffer!!

Totally Hot by Olivia Newton-John on Vinyl ($28)

Olivia Newton-John

I love my entire record collection, which is a combination of my parents’ collection, my grandparents’ collection, and things I’ve bought myself through the years. This ONJ album was part of my parents’ collection and is the first vinyl I can ever remember listening to.

HEAD IG Challenge Speed Tennis Racquet ($130)

tennis racquet

This is the racquet I currently play with. It’s on the heavier side (10.4 oz), which is my preference. My REAL favorite racquet though is my high school one, but it’s no longer made. You can buy it on eBay.

Nike Wristbands ($13)

Nike wristbands

I call these my “brat” bands, and they’re definitely lucky!

Gray Sweatpants ($20)

gray sweatpants

I was recently introduced to the joys of a pair of everyday gray sweatpants. Okay, I don’t wear them EVERY DAY, but I wish I could. I’m in these for most of my work meetings. But they also double as great sweatpants for tennis warmups.

Gatorade Zero ($8 for 8 pack)

Gatorade Zero

With Gatorlyte on Drew’s list and Gatorade Zero on mine, you might be wondering if Autostraddle made some sort of deal with Gatorade, but I assure you we did not! We just love our electrolytes, baby!

Ghost Energy – WARHEADS Sour Watermelon Flavor ($30 for 12 pack)

Ghost Energy drink

While we’re on the topic of beverages, I’m also very hooked on these exact energy drinks. I’ll buy whatever is on sale usually, but these are my favorite, and when Ghost is BOGO at Publix, I stock tf UP.

Simple Modern Tumbler ($22)

simple modern water tumbler

This was a birthday gift from my wife’s best friend, and it goes with me everywhere!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

Queer 2024 Golden Globe Nominees Include Cynthia Erivo, Angelina Jolie, Karla Sofía Gascón and Ayo Edebiri

Wicked, Hacks, and Baby Reindeer Amongst Queer Golden Globe Noms, Karla Sofía Gascón Becomes First Out Trans Actress Nominated For Lead Actress in a Film

Angelina Jolie, Karla Sofía Gascón and Cynthia Erivo are queer nominees in for the 2024 golden globes

The Golden Globes nominations have dropped, which means it’s time for me to try to parse out which nuggets are the gayest to share with y’all. I’ve done my best here, but please let me know of any queer women and/or trans actors, writers, ordirectors involved with any of the Golden Globe nominees that I  missed!

In the movie realm, Emilia Pérez, about a trans cartel leader, came away with a whole bucketful of nominations, including Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy), Best Original Score, Best Original Song (x2!). Trans queer actress Karla Sofía Gascón was nominated for Best Female Actor in a Musical or Comedy, making her the first out transgender woman to be nominated for Lead Actress in a film category. The film also earned acting nominations for Selena Gomez and Zoe Saldaña, as well as Jacques Audiard for Best Director (Motion Picture) and Best Screenplay (Motion Picture). .

Wicked also flew away with a ton of noms, including Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy), Cinematic and Box Office Achievement and queer actor Cynthia Erivo for Best Female Actor, as well as Ariana Grande for Best Supporting Female Actor.

Nickel Boys and Moana 2 were nominated for Best Motion Picture in their categories and feature queer actors Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor and Auli’i Cravalho respectively.

The Wild Robot, which features queer actor Stephanie Hsu, is nominated for Best Motion Picture (Animated), Cinematic and Box Office Achievement, Best Original Score and Best Original Song.

Twisters, which features a few queer actors including Sasha Lane and Katy O’Brien, is nominated for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement.

Other queer women nominated for film awards include Angelina Jolie for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama in Maria and Miley Cyrus for Best Original Song for Beautiful That Way from The Last Showgirl.

For TV, the Best Television Series (Musical or Comedy) category was crammed full of shows with Queer representation and/or queer actors and writers: Abbott Elementary, The Bear, Hacks, Nobody Wants This, and Only Murders in the Building. Best Television Limited Series featured Baby Reindeer and True Detective: Night Country.

Non-binary actor Emma D’arcy was nominated for House of the Dragon (and unfortunately the awards show still doesn’t have a gender neutral option, so they submitted in the “female actor” category.)

Best Performance by a Female Actor in a comedy features queer actors and/or characters, too, with queer actor Ayo Edebiri getting nominated for The Bear. Queer characters included Selena Gomez for Only Murders in the Building  and Kathryn Hahn for Agatha All Along. (And, depending on your opinions on Deborah Vance’s sexuality, Jean Smart for Hacks.)

More queer actors can be found in the Best Performance in a Limited Series category, with Jodie Foster and Kali Reis for True Detective: Night Country, Jessica Gunning for Baby Reindeer, and Hannah Einbinder for Hacks. Sofia Vergara was nominated for playing bisexual queenpin Grisleda in Griselda.

When it comes to the male actors — gay actor Colman Domingo was nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, for Sing Sing. Over in the television categories, nominations went to Richard Gadd for Baby Reindeer, Cooper Koch for Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story and Andrew Scott for Ripley. 

Whew, that was a long list, and that’s a great problem to have. Love to see so many queer actors getting their flowers, and queer pieces of media being recognized.


Other queer news for you:

+ Though of course, there were some queer projects people think were snubbed by the Golden Globes nominations

+ Hayley Kiyoko’s ‘Girls Like Girls’ music video is going to be turned into a feature film

+ Emma Dumont from Oppenheimer (and The Gifted if you’re a nerd like me) came out as transcmasculine and non-binary and using they/them pronouns (using the name Nick privately but still professionally going by Emma)

+ Liz Feldmen’s next TV venture, No Good Deed, featuring Abbi Jacobson and Poppy Lui as a queer couple, drops on the 12th

+ Yellowjackets dropped a Season 3 trailer and I am both SO READY and also NOT READY

+ Ilana Glazer has a stand-up special coming out this month

+ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCaCKkEK2tY

+ The Eras Tour is officially over, my condolences to Gaylors everywhere

+ Fortune Feimster told a hilarious story about trying to introduce her wife to Madonna

+ Lady Gaga breaks down the chaos of her single, Disease, off her new album

+ Last but not least, I leave you with some holiday queer – I mean cheer – from Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 610 articles for us.

2 Comments

    • I hope you’re right but the “friend” looks more like the “junkie informer that gets killed” so the “hero” can avenge her.
      I’m not feeling it.
      On the plus side, we’re used to lesbians getting killed off in shows!

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100 LGBTQ+ Owned Businesses and Queer Shops To Support This Holiday Season!

If you’re looking for LGBTQ-owned stores to put your hard-earned money where your gay mouth is, boy do we have the thing for you! This list highlights just some of the many stores founded and led by lesbian, queer and bisexual women and/or trans people. I originally wrote this post in 2016 and have been updating it every year since — and while many of the businesses here have remained on the list from the jump, so many have shut down and so many new ones have been added. We ourselves have been an independently-owned queer small business for 15 years and There’s such a wide array of companies out there now, so this list is by no means all-encompassing — but it’s a start!

Criteria for inclusion:

  • Store must have a website/storefront and that storefront must be independent of etsy/society6/etc. (We have many other guides that are focused on etsy sellers — including this list from pride season.)
  • Store must be an independent entity, rather than merchandise for a specific musician, celebrity, musician, podcast, magazine, etc (we make an exception for our own)
  • Store must offer products you can order online and have delivered to your home for you to hold in your hands.
  • The store must be active — as in, appears to be mostly or recently stocked, has social media accounts that have been active within the past year, etc.

All She Wrote Books

Somerville, MA

books in a cart

All She Wrote is an intersectional, inclusive feminist and queer bookstore that supports, celebrates, and amplifies underrepresented voices through a thoughtfully curated inventory of books across every genre under the sun.


Ash & Chess

Richmond, VA

1. 2. Gender Reveals T-Shirt ($30)

1. The Big Book of Queer Stickers ($28), 2. Gender Reveals T-Shirt ($30), 3. Just Like My Family ($18.99)

Ash & Chess is a joyful, eye-popping stationary shop run by a queer and trans couple in Richmond, VA. They make greeting cards, art prints and stickers in bold, retro color palettes, sharing messages that are often political and uplifting. They also sell patches, t-shirts, candles and more!


The Athletic

Portland, OR

After launching in 2013 with one item — PDX-airport inspired socks — in October, The Athletic’s lifelong athletes opened a storefront in Portland, where you can find the “bold and unconventional” brand and their full range of sporty apparel and accessories with a particular focus on cyclists, backpackers, and people who like really cute socks.


Automic Jewelry

Automic makes radically hot and wearable jewelry for people of all genders and bodies. They hire size-inclusive, non-cis and non-white models and don’t photoshop a thing. All pieces are made from reclaimed gold and put in recyclable packaging.


barb

Barb Pomade

This “community of non-conformists, game changers, and everyday heroes changing the face of hair and beauty” sells products for short hair of all textures and apparel to go along with it.


Bella Books

The “premiere publisher of vibrant and irresistible fiction for and about lesbians” offers over 5,000 lesbian books and e-books in their online store, making it the largest website for lesbian readers. Founded in 1999 with the help of Naiad Press owners Barbara Grier and Donna McBride, Linda Hill has been the president of Bella Books since 2005.


Black Market Vintage

collage of items from Black Market Vintage

Although currently between brick-and-mortar locations, the online shop is still open. Its “curated love story” grows out of a commitment from the queer couple who owns it (Kiyanna Stewart & Jannah Handy) to “build a collection that mirrors multifarious Black cultural expression, rooted in our love for Black people, Black culture and our own lived experiences.” As cultural historians, their store is stocked with vintage posters, literature, clothing, art, houseware/decor, furniture and other delightful ephemera.


Bluestockings Cooperative

New York, NY

floor_angle_square

Bluestockings is New York’s only queer, trans and sex worker run bookstore. The bookstore is organized with categories that make sense to us all: “Intro to Intersectional Feminism” “Gender Studies” “State Repression & Resistance.” Its online store is fully stocked with the latest releases in the topics nearest & dearest to your heart as well as with stuff like stationary, notebooks and tarot decks.


Bold Strokes Books

Since 2004, Bold Strokes Books has been devoted to producing a diverse collection of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer general and genre fiction. The company is run by Len Barot with Senior Editor Sandy Lowe. Len is perhaps better known by her pen name, Radclyffe, with which she has published some of the most beloved titles in lesbian romance.


Bowtie Behavior

Robbie Williams founded Bowtie Behavior in 2014 when unable to find bowties for her friend’s bridal shower that were both affordable and fit with her personal style. She made her own, got a lot of positive feedback, and thus Bowtie Behavior was born, with an “intent to create pieces that are bold and flavorful.”


Brownie Points

1. Jacket, 2. Candle, 3. Necklace

1. Bad Bitch With Anxiety Bomber Jacket ($112), 2. Don’t Sit On My Bed In Your Outside Clothes Candle ($32), 3. Baby I’m a Goddess Necklace ($55)

Founder Rinny Perkins is known for their 70s-inspired collages and zines, and their sustainability-focused shop celebrates showing up as your true self and staying honest about dating, sexuality and mental health. Everything in this store has a perfect attitude no notes.


Brujita Skincare

This Latina LA-based brand “celebrates the misfits that the natural beauty market left behind.” It sources most of its ingredients from Mexico City, making sustainable, organic and unrefined masks, cleansers, hand care, healing balms, lip balms and more. You can take the Brujitas Skin Quiz to find out what products are best for you.


Carmen Liu Lingerie

Two models in black lace brasIntimates by and for trans folks and non-binary people like bras, bralettes, panties, tucking/flattening underwear. Carmen Liu Kids offers briefs, journals, workbooks and tees for trans girls and non-binary children with the aim of providing “children with the stepping stones to finding themselves, in a supportive, validating experience.”


Charis Books and More

Decatur, GA

Located in Decatur, Georgia, the South’s oldest independent feminist bookstore has been “celebrating radical and independent voices in the heart of the south since 1974!” You can support Charis with personalized Charis merch, too: hoodies, tees, mugs and totes.


Chromat

Models attend the Chromat x Tourmaline Spring/Summer 2022 Runway Show at New York Fashion Week on September 12, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Sean Zanni/Getty Images for Chromat)

(Photo by Sean Zanni/Getty Images for Chromat)

Chromat is high fashion lingerie with a tomboy femme twist and has attracted fans such as Beyonce! Becca McCharen-Tran, the experimental brand’s designer, is queer, and the online store has sportswear and swimwear, too.


 Coco & Breezy

two women in sunglasses

Corianna and Brianna are twin sisters who grew up in Minnesota and always had a passion for fashion. Together they founded Coco & Breezy, a “cutting edge eyewear brand based in New York City that aims to reach new fashion heights and introduce fashion connoisseurs all over the world to their unique sense of style and original accessories.” Prince, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé and and Rihanna are fans, and their online interface enables you to try on their frames virtually.


Collarbone Jewelry

fruit posed with jewelry

Cat Luck uses brass, bronze, base metals, raw stones and whimsical charms to handcraft a fashion jewelry collection that speaks to all walks of life. CAT LUCK brings together forged, minimalist, geometric, and personal pieces for humans of all gender expressions.


Common Dear

Oklahoma City, OK

This bright, energetic online and IRL retail space (now located inside gift shop Johnny and June) is curated with women-owned, 2SLGBTQIA+-owned and BIPOC-owned brands that care about empowerment and making the world a better, more equal place for everyone. They stock colorful delights including mugs, candles, prints and greeting cards.


Culture Flock

Springfield, MN

Since 2013, the Culture Flock founders have been “designing and creating colorful and inclusive apparel, goods, and accessories for friends of every shape, size, color, gender, and orientation.” With a brick-and-mortar store in Missouri, their online store has collections focused on homebodies, activists, zodiac lovers, star-gazers and artists.


Dapper Boi

Dapper Bois in a beachy areas looking spiffy

Dapper Boi got its start with a kickstarter to begin manufacturing slim-straight, androgynous jeans. Founded by Vicky and Charisse Pasche, “partners in business / crime / life,” Dapper Boi wants to “create an androgynous clothing line that is fashionable, functional, affordable and accessible to all.” They sell joggers, hoodies, button-ups, hats, socks, jackets and everything you could imagine putting on your body!


Doll Parts Collective

Seattle, WA

Located in Seattle and launched during the pandemic, Doll Parts is “all about color, unique design, original pairings, and working with existing materials.” They offer “vintage clothing and housewares, handmade goods, and other sustainably sourced products,” including stuff like collage art, patchwork tote bags, disco ball keychains and knife earrings.


Dom + Bomb

Spokane, WA

Dom & Bomb team cheering in the office

This Black-woman and queer-woman owned size-inclusive fashion brand is “fighting fatphobia and the gender binary through fashion” with shirts, hats and accessories. They also offer tailoring and personal styling by appointment.


Domestic Domestic

Little Rock, AK

domestic_6

“We bring to you fine products with attention to quality, function and design,” boasts the website for Heather Smith’s Arkansas-based boutique. “Nothing is added without reason. The objects we curate tell a story and have a history. They’re potential heirlooms, unique in type, simply determined to be the best damn stuff on the market.”


Early to Bed

Chicago, IL

Founded by Searah Deysach in Chicago over 20 years ago, Early2Bed was intended to be a sex toy shop that felt “friendly, educational and fun.”


Earth Toned

fingers holding a crystal ball

This Black femme owned business aims to promote spiritual, physical, emotional, social and intellectual health through products — crystals, candles, aromatherapy, charging bracelets and more.


Equal Love

Puerto Rico based company Equal Love is “a genderless line of natural products with purpose” for “people who want high quality personal care and home products that allow any person to have a healthy and confident lifestyle.” Their exclusive essential oil blend is used across a line of personal care products.


Equator Coffees & Teas

Bay Area, CA

The first-ever LGBT owned business to be named a “Small Business of the Year” by the U.S Small Business Association, Equator Coffees & Teas was started 21 years ago as a coffee roastery by life partners Brooke McDonnell and Helen Russell. It now has become “one of the few fully integrated coffee companies in the U.S.”


Fae’s Cabinet

Fort Wayne, IN

selection of oddities from fae's cabinet

This store is specifically for weirdos, specializing in the unique, the unusual and the beautifully bizarre, from avant-garde art pieces to crystal mystery boxes to Harpy Dolls to a truly unrivaled collection of Krampuses.


Fempower Beauty

models for fempower beauty in bold lipsticks

This lesbian-owned ethical beauty company aims to “heal the harms of the beauty industry with luxury products that affirm and uplift.” Their products connect beauty with mental health and positive affirmations, and they also sell accessories and bags.


Flavt Streetwear

FLAVNT Streetwear is an independent clothing brand based in Austin, Texas created with “the goal of creating clothes that promote confidence and pride.” They sell binders, stickers and sweats and run fundraisers for organizations like Black Lives Matter as well as individual trans people who need money for surgery.


For Them

For Them underwear and binders

Black-owned trans-owned company For Them actually owns this website (Autostraddle) and it also makes really fantastic binders and underwear! An honoree in the Fast Company 2022 Innovation by Design Awards, For Them’s signature product, The Binder, was created to compress without sacrificing the wearer’s health or comfort, and last year they added the Binder Max. In 2024,  For Them launched its first underwear line of boxer-briefs, boyshorts, tucking tangas and packing boxers — and you can find all of this and more at the For Them Store! (That rhymed)


Freck Beauty

On her super hip and playful vegan + cruelty-free line of products, inspired by founder Remi’s unique vision and diverse East LA neighborhood: “Freck stands for those who care about ingredients, respect the process and seek self-expression without rules. This community born from a single offbeat idea for a freckle cosmetic has flourished into a movement of trailblazers and rule-breakers who thrive on individualism and always find the courage to experiment.”


Galaxy Brain Designs

full cryptid map

Galaxy Brain Design is a queer, woman-owned small business selling art, gifts, + home goods for folks that love a wikipedia deep dive, boozy brunch, or therapeutic breakthroughs.


Girls Will Be Boys

model in bra and underwear

GWBB Girls Will Be Boys is active loungewear inspired by today’s modern tomboy. They focus on making high quality apparel that boldly fits all shapes and sizes.


Good Light

gel-to-foam cleanser gently removes all dirt and impurities leaving behind a balanced, healthy, otherworldly glow.

Developed by David Yi, Good Light is a “personal care brand that believes in beauty beyond the binary” with “efficacious, yet gentle personal care products” including pimple patches, water cleansers with clean, dreamy style.


Haute Butch

hate butch vests

Selling “fierce dapper stud style” and “tomboy-style clothes,” Haute Butch features suits, vests, watches, belts, footwear, briefs and so much more at their online store. Karen Roberts, a U.S. Navy veteran, opened her store in April 2012 with a focus on becoming “a clothing, footwear and lifestyle destination for butch women, studs, bois and trans men who prefer ‘menswear’ inspired finishes.”


Hella Thrifty

array of products available at the storeAvid thrift shopper and 80s/90s fashion blogger Dannie Cherie started Hella Thrifty to exchange and share unique thrift finds — but now the company has its own 80s/90s inspired original collections including tees, jackets and hats!


Hey Mavens!

hot women in lingerie that is velvet and bright colors

Hey Mavens sells lingerie in seizes from XXS to 10X that celebrate individual expression and diversity with products in bold colors and unique prints.


Hinterland Empire

Portland, OR 

collage of items available at hinterland

“Seeing a gaping hole in the world of clothing for adventurous, badass human beings, we created Hinterland,” said lesbian couple Jolene and Trinia, who set out initially “to design empowering, irreverent imagery and print that onto American-made clothing.” Now Hinterlands is equally devoted to making and selling really great coffee and related accessories.


House of Intuition

Los Angeles, CA

House of Intuition Healing Box

Lesbian couple Marlene Vargas and Alex Naranjo opened their first HOI in 2010, selling crystals and candles. Now, they’ve got six locations selling magic candles, beauty products and all the crystals a queer could ever dream of — and for the holidays, sign-specific and purpose-specific gift boxes will fit right under your tree.


Humboldt House

Chicago, IL

screengrab of items from Humboldt House chicago

Screenshot

This cute-as-fuck feminist store with a kickass team in Chicago features “a carefully-curated selection of locally found furniture and goods, as well as the work of local jewelry designers, ceramic artists, and apothecary makers.” They’ve got cheeky puzzles, colorful tea towels, dykey prints for the wall and adorable felt ornaments. Their new section for babies and kiddos has Chica


Humankind Swimwear

Founded by lesbian entrepreneur Haily Marzullo, this company aims to make quality gender-neutral swimsuits and athletic gear for a variety of bodies and sizes.


Jen Zeano Designs

Screenshot of models wearing shirts from the company as well as a white tote bagWife-and-wife team Jen and Vero started Jen Zeano Designs in 2014, the same year they got married, launching the store with a Pink Latina Power Tee. The brand celebrates Latina community & culture through tees, sweats, accessories, bags, stationary, drinkware and kids stuff with collections including Feel Your Feelings, Artesana Costias Curiosas, Latina to Latina, Growing Through It and Latina Power.


Kards Unlimited

Pittsburgh, PA

Kards Unlimited Taurus pack of gifts

Established in 1968, this Pittsburgh novelty shop has been passed on from the married couple who founded it to their daughter and then to an employee of 15 years. Cards, pins, coloring books, stickers, socks, mugs, games, books, cards and puzzles!!!


Kirrin Finch

Kirrin Finch, started by Brooklyn-based lesbian couple Kelly and Laura Moffat, sells kickass menswear-inspired shirts, oxfords and bow-ties using sustainable fabrics and practices.


Lockwood Shop

Brooklyn, NY

Starting out with one shop in Astoria in 2013, Lockwood now has five stores in NYC and a bustling online shop, filled with “unique decor, stationery, clothing, kid’s gifts, and affordable lifestyle goods, focusing on local makers and up-and-coming brands.” This includes a great DADDY hat, Smells like Queens Spirit teas, Abbott Elementary keychains, Pizza Rat ornaments, 90s pop coloring books, a Literary Witches Oracle deck and truly it goes on and on!


Loyalty Bookstores

Washington DC

Founded by Black Queer bookseller Hannah Oliver Depp, Loyalty Bookstores in Silver Spring and Washington DC aim to “be the mid-Atlantic’s neighborhood spot for wonderful books and unique stationary, gifts and programming” and center Black, PoC and queer voices.


Las Ofrendas

1. Pink Pony Club T-Shirt ($50) // 2. Purple Skull Earrings ($21) // 3. Latine Artists Mug ($20)

1. Pink Pony Club T-Shirt ($50) // 2. Purple Skull Earrings ($21) // 3. Latine Artists Mug ($20)

Las Ofrendas is a social enterprise featuring handmade accessories, apparel, games stationary and home goods designed or curated by their founder, tk tunchez, highlighting Latinx, BIPOC and queer art.


Little Wish Toys

Richmond, VA

This indie toy story curates a safe space of sensory, creativity and emotional development toys to inspire kids and their wild imaginations, with tools that encourage social awareness and life skills.


Lovewild Designs

lovewild design shop exterior

The flags say “Be Gay / Do Crime” (via instagram

This queer-owned family business makes their own line of sustainable gifts and carries goods from other small, local and independent businesses — bath products, zines, candles, self-care, home goods, period products and curated care packages.


Lucky Skivvies

two Lucky Skivvies models

Luky Skivvies is a gender neutral boxer brief and loungewear brand created for all bodies, with sizes ranging from small to 3XL.


Makoma the Brand

Jumpsuits, Dresses and Ponchos at Makoma the Brand

via Makoma the Brand website

Makoma the Brand aims to “create one-of-a-kind, contemporary designs using a combination of African prints and classic silhouettes.” Everything is ethically made and was founded by Judith, who is also the co-owner of Brooklyn-based hair salon / barber shop Chokmah Hair Lab.


Mestiza

Chicago, IL

Picture from inside the Mestiza store

Established in Chicago in 2004 by artists/entrepreneurs Lorena and Sugeiri, Mestiza offers ” unique selection of jewelry, clothing, accessories, housewares, stationery, and handmade local artisan goods” and a “selection of unique Latinx products that celebrate their traditions and culture.” They have a whole entire Frida Kahlo section!


Mi Vida

Los Angeles, CA

external storefront of Mi Vida

Noelle Reyes founded her LA-based store in 2008 “with the purpose of providing the surrounding the surrounding community a shopping experience that compliments their lifestyle, incorporating cultural elements into fashion and functional art.” They sell shirts, pins, hats, jewelry, incense, oils and so much more!


Minna Goods

minna home

Minna is a textile brand that sells blankets, textiles, rugs, wall hangings and more while striving to “bridge the gap between ethically made goods and contemporary design.” Sara Berks launched her company in 2013, when she got tired of doing graphic design and wanted to start making things with her own two hands.


Minus Moonshine

Brooklyn, NY

Minus Moonshine shelves of non-alcoholic potions

This “magical land of beverages and potions” are made for adults who want to participate in alcoholic-esque revelry, but without the alcohol itself! With a brick & mortar shop in Brooklyn, this trans-owned store sells non-alcoholic beers, spirits, wines, seltzers and mixers.


Mud Witch

Queer Japanese/Mexican Artist Viviana Matsuda’s pottery studio makes unique, hand-thrown, brightly-colored ceramics: candle holders, mugs, vases, planters and bowls. You should follow her on instagram because every one of her products sparks immediate joy!


Muka

pins and pencils on a blanket

This small Hamilton, Ontario-based company consists of four artists and life-long friends with big dreams who founded MUKA in 2018 to “build a more inclusive and creative future in fashion for people of intersectional identities,” selling pins, stickers, t-shirts and other accessories.


Nicole Zizi

model in a Nicole Zizi studio sweatshirt

The NICOLE ZÏZI STUDIO™ is a brand with a new perspective on streetwear with a focus on eco-conscious, sustainable, innovative and gender-free premium streetwear. All the garments are hand-made garments with ethically produced fabrics.


Nik Kacy Footwear

Los Angeles, CA

Nik Kacy couldn’t find “masculine-of-center” shoes in their size and that’s what inspired them to launch their own line of luxury footwear for people of all gender identities. They also sell harnesses and holsters.


Noto Botanics

Los Angeles, CA

noto botanicalsGloria Noto’s eponymous line of serums, oils, cleansers, mists, moisturizers, creams and lip + cheek sticks are designed for all genders and skin types. Everything is vegan, cruelty free and eco-friendly. “Learning what ingredients were clean and beneficial for multiuse, multi-gendered folx is what makes Noto stand out,” Noto told The Cut.


Octopied Mind Inc.

model wearing t-shirts and long-sleeve shirts

Established in 2018 and queer, woman and indigenous-owned; founders Jill and Sarah want every piece they produce to be a conversation starter, meticulously crafted with purpose and passion. Their fun totes, blankets, hats, mugs and stickers are perfect for weirdos who experience emotions like being Dead Inside and having Sunday Scaries.


One DNA Apparel

Ypsilanti, MI

women are powerful sweatshirts

Headquartered in my beloved Ypsilanti, Michigan, this Black and queer-owned business sells gender-neutral apparel including sweaters, rugby shirts and pajama pants. Their super-wearable and very cozy premium tees and sweats are made from organic and recycled fabrics.


Pa’lante Para

This “clothing brand created by a queer Latina who gets it” aims to “make space for affordable, trendy and forward thinking para options for Latinx and multicultural-based sororities.” Their Para Everyone designs are “made for everyone to rock, regardless of affiliation.”


Pals Socks

two lesbians in socks

The Pals Socks story begins in 2007, when then-girlfriends Hannah Lavon and Ashley Connors started “Hooray Hoopla,” a gift shop that specialized in “kitschy-cool paper products” and got popular selling mismatched animal mittens. The “Vs. Stuff” line put Predators and Prey on a set of hands and let them duke it out. Thus, Pals Socks were born, and the mismatched animal buddies have been a hit. Now they collaborate with artists and are always releasing new fun things for the feet!


Portrai.Me

Portrai Me is “a visual art project that creates ‘portraits’ of people’s personalities through the various motifs in their lives.” They aim to produce one-of-a-kind artworks at accessible price-points, starting at just $59 each.


Peau De Loup

two queers playing with a dog in Peau De Loop apparel

Lifelong tomboys Adelle Renaud and Erin McLeod founded Peau De Loup in Vancouver and set out to “redefine feminine etiquette in womenswear by creating functional, well-made, timeless apparel.” You can get their super-cool ethically-sourced-and-produced signature button-ups (so much plaid, y’all!) and accessories online.


Philadelphia Print Works

shirts from PPW

This independent clothing brand inspired by past social justice movements marries social consciousness with style while advocating for causes they believe in — highlighting legendary Black activists and artists, advocating for Palestinean liberation and shouting out No Justice No Peace. I wore my Shirley Chisolm t-shirt from PPW to the bone I love it so much. 


The Phluid Project

three clothing items from the phluid project

Launched in March 2018, the Phluid Project aims to “amplify the rising voice of today’s youth, which rejects binary gender norms, and favors an inclusive world that allows individuals to wear what makes them feel good — that is, what best reflects who they really are inside.


A Rainbow In Your Cloud

amina's birthday favorites of bright pink clothing for queer peopleBlack autistic visual artist Amina Mucciolo’s shop exudes rainbow bubblegum poppy excitement with affirming tees, masks, hoodies and iPhone cases.


re-inc

tobin and christen in their reimagine jerseys

Founded by legendary women’s soccer players Megan Rapinoe, Tobin Heath, Meghan Klingenberg, and Christen Press “with the mission of inspiring us all to boldly reimagine the status quo,” re-inc’s shop sells t-shirts, scarves, hats, mugs, hats, tumblrs and more, emblazoned with their logos and inspiring messages.


Reparations Club

Los Angeles, CA

Reparations Club is a bookshop and creative space “curated by Blackness” in Los Angeles. The Black-owned and women-owned business curates an incredible list of books as well as selling vinyl and gifts like puzzles, games, honey, sage sticks and tarot decks.


The Ripped Bodice Bookstore

Los Angeles, CA + New York, NY

ripped bodice bookstore

Specializing in romance and launched in 2016 via Kickstarter, The Ripped Bodice is an indie bookstore that sells its own merch, gifts from other women-owned businesses and specialized gift boxes in addition to its unrivaled selection of romance. After the success of its Culver City store, the sisters opened a second outpost in Park Slope, Brooklyn, even collaborating with The Cut for the magazine’s “Summer of Smut” theme week.


A Room of One’s Own

Madison, WI

This Madison-based bookstore, named after the Virginia Woolf essay, has been a thriving space for the local feminist community since 1975. It offers a variety of books and gifts, with plenty of women’s studies and LGBT fiction.


Sabor a Libertad

normal is a lie / nuero spicy pins

Sabor a Libertad is the project of a graphic artist in San Juan, Puerto Rico, aiming to make clothes that represent them and other QTPOC Puerto Ricans. They sell a ton of cute original graphic tees in bright, fun colors in both Spanish and English like Aro Pride, Straight Was the Phase, La Futura Es Inclusiva and They Kiss Them.


Sapphire Books Publishing

Founded by Christine Svedsen in 2010, Sapphire Books is dedicated to promoting and publishing “stories that accurately and respectfully reflect the diverse lives of the lesbian community.”


Show & Tell Oakland

Oakland, CA

1. Candle 2. Scarft 3. Bandana

1. Femme Candle ($25)  2. Liquid Metal Infinity Scarf ($35) 3. Six Combs Bandana ($24)

This concept shop, gallery and gathering space in downtown Oakland specializes in sustainable and socially responsible apparel, accessories and gift items. Alyah Baker started her store to share products she couldn’t find in big box retailers, things that “reflected [her] love for BIPOC and LGBTQIA community.” In their store and online they sell t-shirts, body salves & cremes, jewelry, candles, prints and yoga mats from a diverse group of makers.


Small Victories

Northampton, MA

plant card with scissors and thread

This New England design company run by plant and animal nerds specializes in plantable seed cards, original illustrations, pronoun badges and accessories — and they donate 10% of their profits to ecological and LGBTQ+ organizations.


Smitten Kitten

Minneapolis, MN

Smitten Kitten opened in 2003 in Minneapolis, MN, hoping to bring “quality, body-friendly sex toys” to a store they’d enjoy shopping in themselves. Smitten Kitten is always on the city’s “Best Of” lists and promotes a sex-positive environment and a curated inventory of non-toxic, ethically produced and marketed products. Not just sex toys, though — they’ve got cute buttons, greeting cards, bandanas and so much more.


Souk Bohemian

Atlanta, GA

Souk Bohemian store website

Artists Morgan Ashley Bryant and Vanessa Coore Vernon partner with local and global artisans to bring aspirational ready-to-wear pieces, home goods, small-batch jewelry, and handmade accessories with minimal palettes and global aesthetics.


South Street Art Market

Philadelphia, PA

south street art mar

The queer-women-owned South Street Art Market sports goods from 130+ indie artists in their store and online. From kitschy nostalgia to nerdy indulgences to the dark arts, their store includes Sick Sad 90s Pin Packs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer merch for days, Mystery Zine Bundles, Dolly Parton earrings, Unicorn Sculptures, Back to the Future Light Switch Plates and so so much more!


Stealth Bros & Company

Stealth Bros Dopp Kits

This luxury medical storage company creates Dopp kit supplies for travel and at-home personal storage for medical/personal necessities for the transgender, diabetic, TTC and other persona/medical communities in an attempt to revolutionize the way we see and feel about sharps disposal.


Style is Freedom

Tomboi

This “Tomboi Lifestlye Brand” from designer Toni Branson sells snapbacks, beanies, sweatshirts, tees, wallets, slides and more. they collaborate with artists and have so much fun stuff this season, like a Wakanda Tomboi tee and the “Elephant in the room” collection.


Tanaïs 

perfumes

Tanaïs, author and perfumer and the host of perfume podcast MALA, promises “infinite beauty” with her recently-launched brand that ” imagines fragrance, beauty and jewelry as expressions of ritual, adornment and ancestors.”


TomboyX

Founded by lesbian couple Fran and Naomi, Tomboy X sells underwear, bras, joggers, t-shirts, muscle tees, swimwear and so much more with a focus on “empowering our LGBTQ+ community year-round.”


Under the Umbrella Bookstore

Salt Lake City, UT

Under the Umbrella Bookstores inside

Under the Umbrella Bookstore is a bookstore and a safe space for queer people of all ages in the Salt Lake City community, selling books across all genres as well as candles, teas, stickers, pins, tote bags, bookmarks, mugs, and jewelry by small queer-owned businesses and artists.


Unicorn Feed Supply

Ypsilanti, MI

The queer woman who opened Unicorn Feed Supply in 2018 wanted an entire store that brought her as much joy as her childhood sticker collection (relate-able), Unicorn Feed Supply is queer as fuck: terrariums, fairy gardens, magical stuff, sparkly things, stuffed animals, novelty socks, knick-knacks, enamel pins, work from local artisans and fun stuff for Pride.


Violet Valley Bookstore

Water Valley, MS

Mississippi’s “Only Queer Feminist Trans inclusive Bookstore” was founded by Jaime Harker, who found while working on her book The Lesbian South that there was a huge community of Southern queers who were “surprised and delighted to find that they were part of a long tradition of activists and writers.” She was inspired to start Violet Valley in 2017, aiming to “make feminist, queer, and multicultural books available to the Water Valley community, the state of Mississippi, and the South.”


We’Moon

The We’Moon: Gaia Rhythms for Womyn astrological and lunar calendar datebook was founded in 1981 and is published in Oregon by Mother Tongue Ink. You can get the datebook and wall calendar in their online shop as well as other related products.


West Side Kids

New York, NY

west side kids storefront

Since 1981, lesbian couple Alice and Jenny Bergman have been running this neighborhood favorite toy shop with a selection that emphasizes diversity, education, and ethically-made products for curious kiddos.


Wet For Her

Proudly selling sex toys designed by women for women, Wet For Her not only sells dildos, massage oils and harnesses, but also “finger extenders” for purposes which are probably obvious to you.


Wildfang

Portland, OR + Los Angeles, CA

wildfang worksuits skateboarding

Screenshot

These self-described “modern-day, female Robin Hoods raiding men’s closets and maniacally dispensing blazers, cardigans, wingtips and bowlers” launched their dapper-tomboy brand in early 2013. Their Wild Feminist tees became viral sensations, their smart suiting is beloved in the queer community and their jumpsuits have taken our televisions by storm.


Wiselands

Collage of Wiselands products

With Midwestern roots refined in Northern California, this queer & employee-owned company creates sustainable skincare using green chemistry and concentrated, renewable ingredients.


Wolfe Video

Videos sold by Wolfe Video

This legend in lesbian movie culture was launched in 1985 by Kathy Wolfe and it is the largest exclusive distributor of LGBT films. They began as a mail order outlet distributing a Lily Tomlin film and are now an active distributor and releaser of pretty much every film with a lesbian in it, ever! Plus they’re just good people.


Woxers

models in woxers

This QWOC-owned apparel company designed a boxer-brief tailored to women and focused on comfort, health and sustainability. They sell bralettes as well as boxer-briefs in different lengths in a variety of colors and patterns.


Volition Beauty

volition beauty productsFounders Brandy Hoffman (the queer one!) and Patricia Santos met working at a different skincare company and joined forces to create the now enormously successful Volition Beauty, featuring clean skincare products inspired by crowdsourced ideas, voted on by fans. And they have a lot of fans! You can also find Volition products at Sephora.


The Autostraddle Store

several models in autostraddle shirts

Let us end here, on the merchandise wing of the best website in the history of the internet features apparel, enamel pins and other cool shit featuring illustrations and designs from independent queer artists. Although production of new merch ceased upon our merge with For Them, there’s still stuff left in the store for you to buy, with big markdowns coming through this week. All profits come right back here to fund the words we write and the things we do.


And Finally: More Queer and LGBTQ+-Owned Bookstores To Support

There are so many bookstores owned by LGBTQ women and other trans people that I couldn’t possibly give them all blurbs. Here are some of the many I missed (I chose here only stores that have independent storefronts you can shop online)

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3272 articles for us.

76 Comments

  1. This is a fantastic list, thank you! as I live in Ireland, it isn’t possible for me to order from some of these stores, but I will definetly check the others out! :D

  2. Also! Toronto-based BBJ (Barbie’s Basement Jewellery)! They do have an Easy shop, but you can also buy directly from their site, as well as at various trade shows. Plus, they do custom orders. :)

    http://bbj.ca

  3. Welp, my girlfriend and I are signed up for a lesbian cheese club now.

    Thank you for this list. <3

    • You won’t regret it because their cheese is awesome. Also, hella jealous because I no longer live close enough to get Cowgirl Creamery.

  4. AWESOME.

    Are any of these links hooked up to affiliates*? Or should we (still) go through the Autostraddle affiliates page to do our shopping?

    *The whole affiliate thing still seems like magic to me, and I don’t really understand it, but I just do what y’all tell me and follow the links from the affiliate page to do my shopping and cross my fingers because y’all are the best and deserve every penny I can throw your way.

    • Hi! Yes indeed! We have affiliate accounts with Babeland, Wildfang, Good Vibrations and Wolfe Video. There’s also a link in the paragraph about Free City to the Ron Herman store, which carries a lot of Free City items and we have an affiliate account with them too.

  5. I want to personally vouch for #58 – A Room of One’s Own is probably the most chill, most interesting book store I’ve been to in my hometown.

  6. Sweet lord, this list. Thank you for doing the work of compiling it!

    A queer-owned business that isn’t on this list that I’m a fan of is Dottie’s Delights. They do really beautiful, ethically-made retro-inspired lingerie. Bluestockings Boutique actually stocks a couple Dottie’s pieces, and its owner did an interview with Dottie’s owner. https://www.bluestockingsboutique.com/blogs/the-bluestockings-blog/34983172-lessons-in-underthings-interview-with-stephanie-kuhr-of-dotties-delights

    • oh wow for some reason I thought they didn’t exist anymore! WELP I am adding them, they were supporters of us from the get-go

  7. It’s not lesbian owned, but there is also House of Alexzander, which is owned by a genderqueer person. The stuff there is more femme inspired, than some of the others here.
    houseofalexzander.com

  8. Such a great list but I’d love to add J.Caress Studios. USA based, wife and wife team create beautuful and fun art and greeting cards representing the lesbian, gay and queer community.

    I run a sex-pos shop here in Australia, I stumbled across them and now proudly sell them. They’re loveley people to work with. Go seek them out!

  9. CHEESE-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB

    QUEER ADVENTURE APPAREL

    YOU GUYS I’M SUPPOSED TO STOP IMPULSE SPENDING THIS MONTH

  10. I’m working on a project for a class trying to find as many NYC-based businesses owned and operated by LGBT folks. Any recommendations that aren’t listed here? Thank you :)

  11. Amazing list! I also highly highly recommend Ladyfingers Letterpress which is based in Colorado Springs – owned and run by wives Morgan and Arley. Their cards etc are brilliant and their shop also provided a much needed queer safe haven for me on the 9th for which I’ll be eternally grateful. They’re doing important stuff there I think!
    ladyfingersletterpress.com

  12. I am alone here…I don’t feel ANY of those clothes. It appeals to androgyny, tomboy, etc. lipstick need not apply.

  13. If you’re looking for a lesbian and queer woman owned, body positive, diverse business you should check out Fortuna Femme! We sell lingerie, our models are “real people” from all walks of life (queer, trans*, plus, and diverse!) and we believe that EVERY women deserve beautiful underthings. We take classic pinup style from the 50’s and inject the beautiful diversity of our world today? http://www.fortunafemme.com

  14. Speaking of queer-owned businesses, does anyone know what happened to Marimacho? I remember lusting hard after their bomber jacket when I was a penniless teen but I can’t find any mention of them after 2014.

  15. THIS IS THE BEST THANK YOU

    ALSO HEY, this prompted me to put together a list of local queer-woman owned businesses in Australia too (for those not easily able to afford shipping across the expanse of ocean). From my brain:

    Noun Movement Books – stellar bookbinding

    Form & Flux / Nook & Burrow – candles, bookmarks and other cute shit

    Alcome & Co – skin and body care

    Grace & Marcel – cute as hell queer cards (biased: this is my twin sister, but comment stands)

    Oh Deer Sugar – vegan bath and body care!

    Ashlee Hopkins Ceramic Artist

    Shanghai Lil & The Scarlet Fez for perfumes and colognes

      • AH WHOOPS- I overlooked that when I hastily wrote this list – thanks for the clarification! Still worth a check out however everybody!

  16. Thanks for simplifying my holiday shopping! Delighted to be included among these awesome shops!

  17. Hey check out Ivysclothing.com it’s namebrands and generic clothing and more. Based in California and Lesbian owned..

  18. Thank you for the list- knew about some of these businesses but many of them are new to me!
    #shamelessplug
    No Labels Clothing Cooperative- a worker owned clothing thrift shop and gift store in downtown Buffalo which has a mission of generating safe spaces for queer folk and trans and gender non-conforming folk. We don’t have anything online yet, but we plan to in 2017 as we expand our selection. If you’re in the area, come visit us at 224 Allen Street in Buffalo, we’d love to see your face.
    http://www.nolabelscoop.com

  19. Please add Dapper D fashions to your list, the owners are a wonderful couple and they do so much for the community in Portland, Orwgon.

  20. I’ll also plug Women and Children First – a feminist book store in Chicago. It’s possibly my favorite place in the entire city :)
    http://www.womenandchildrenfirst.com

    “Women & Children First began in a modest storefront in 1979. Over the years we’ve moved twice and are now in a northside Chicago neighborhood known for its diversity, queer-friendliness, women-owned businesses and community spirit.

    We are one of the largest feminist bookstores in the country, stocking more than 30,000 books by and about women, children’s books for all ages, and the best of lesbian and gay fiction and non-fiction. Anything we don’t have in stock we can usually get in a few days’ time, even if it’s a title outside our specialty. We also carry cards, magazines, blank books and journals, calendars, gift items like candles, and pride products.”

  21. Saint Harridan is going out of business! ? Just got the email announcement, they’re selling off everything. ? So sad…my wife and I were really satisfied customers of theirs. She got a super sharp & fabulous Saint Harridan dress shirt for our wedding this past summer. Really bummed that they won’t be around anymore.

    https://saintharridan.com/collections/shipping

  22. Wow! Thanks for the great list!

    Halfway Creations is a lesbian owned business based out of Nova Scotia, Canada.

    http://www.halfwaycreations.com

    Jeanne Chestnut & Kate Hoey are amazingly talented leather workers.

    They sell THE MOST AMAZING LEATHER TEDDY BEARS!

    Please check them out and consider them for a future list :)

  23. Thanks so much for including Sapphire Books Publishing on your list. You rock!

    Christine Svendsen
    CEO/Publisher
    aka – Isabella author of American Yakuza I/II
    Forever Faithful
    Scarlet Assassin

  24. You’ve forgotten Charm City Tattoo in Baltimore, owned & operated by longtime activist/illustrator/artist/songwriter Jacki Randall! Not only does she create top notch original work, she has history and some wicked stories to tell! Check out her website for beautiful art and a lot of other surprises you’d never expect on a tattoo parlor site! http://charmcitytattoo.com

  25. This is a great products list for online shopping. Really appreciate it. :)

  26. love this updated list, and LOVE that you included cowgirl creamery, one of my absolute favorite cheesemakers. thank you riese!

  27. If you are in Canada, Brand 47 Coffee is available from a mom & mom shop. 2 lesbians with 2 boys with Down syndrome. Brand47coffee.com

  28. I would looove an Europe-focused edition of this guide someday! Sorting through US shops to figure out which ones ship globally at a low price and which ones will triple the order cost sending to France / the UK is not a fun activity. Did find a few good ones though in this roundup so thank you so much!

  29. You can add Loyalty Bookstores in DC to this list! They’re owned by a Black and Queer woman and they do a lot to promote the work of Black and/or Queer authors. One of my favorite bookshops in DC!

  30. kepala bergetar original Multi-Device Accessibility: RTM Klik can be accessed on various devices, including smartphones, tablets, laptops, and smart TVs. This flexibility ensures that users can enjoy their favorite programs wherever they are.

  31. Shameless self promotion, I recently launched an indie puzzle company Elephant Bite Puzzles. You should get one just in time for the holigays, great for your mental health and cheaper than therapy.
    Liz Rangers “Returning” all kinds of queer fun.

  32. Thank you for including us again! Queers: we have a discount code in the A+ marketplace if you’re shopping, but even an IG follows is super helpful these days! <3<3

    – Bridget @ Galaxy Brain Design

  33. I have to shout out one of my favorite queer creators – https://www.briightlyart.com/

    They create and sell crochet items, including witch hats, arm warmers and so many adorable stuffed animals. I got my neighbors a little dinosaur rattle for their baby and an octopus for one of my young niblings (and it was so cute I almost didn’t send it to her).

  34. I want to shout out from the rooftops about https://ctoanco.com/! Their candles and beautiful to see and smell, and they center and glorify beautiful fat and trans and genderqueer bodies!!! made with love by Morgan who is Black and queer

  35. What a fantastic list, thank you!

    I’d love to add shewearslovestudio.com

    It’s a deeply personal project by a queer woman in Chicago, born out of creative expression of the sapphic experience. The resulting designs mix story-telling, style and function to offer the queer female community more diversity in self-affirming fashion. The designs lean into a poetic and playful wink, a form of subtle street signaling that our queer community knows so well. We wear our love on our sleeve, and celebrate the uniqueness of queer women through these thoughtfully created pieces.

  36. A Seat At The Table Books (Elk Grove, CA), owned by a queer couple and dedicated to inclusivity, activism, events, all the books and accessories. In store cafe, a recent nonprofit side, drag queen story times, and monthly book drives for different orgs.
    https://aseatatthetablebooks.org/

    Strapping (Sacramento, CA) is a queer owned novelty and gift shop, with so many queer and trans themed items. Love that they also source some of their items (like my new side table) from other community creators. (But no, they don’t sell strap-ons).
    https://strappingstore.com/

  37. Totally agree with the comments about how extensive and great this list is! You can see a good range of products to choose from. I would love to see this same list more on food brands and houseware, too!

  38. Amazing list! I wish I’d found this before my last trip to the US but hopefully I will visit again.

    One business I did find on my last trip was – https://shopgoldengems.com/pages/our-story
    I found their scent in a non-queer shop but it totally affirmed my mysterious gender identity and then I discovered the queer AF ness of their shop. And dive bar, sounds epic.

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Drew Burnett Gregory’s Favorite Things: What To Buy for the Femme Who Loves Queer Films

When I was putting this list together, my girlfriend was walking around our apartment trying to help me come up with things and was like “wow you’re so low maintenance!” I think it’s really that I just don’t have a lot of brand loyalty? I like to try new things and feel more attached to favorite artists than, say, a favorite toothpaste.

But there are some exceptions! And even if someday I switch brands, at the very least these types of items will likely always be necessary for me.


ORLY Top2Bottom Nail Coat ($13) + ORLY Haute Red Polish ($10)

top coat and red nail polish

Red was my favorite color as a kid until I was informed it was a girl color, so I started lying and saying my favorite color was green. Maybe that’s why upon transitioning red nail polish quickly became a signature and — unlike poorly fitted cotton dresses — it’s one that has lasted years. I’ve gone through a lot of different brands and shades, but OPI has proven to be my favorite.

Hisense – 65″ Class U8 Series Mini-LED QLED 4K UHD Smart Google TV ($380)

Hisense - 65" Class U8 Series Mini-LED QLED 4K UHD Smart Google TV

This was my gift to myself upon moving into my new place a year ago. It’s so much more affordable than other TVs of its quality and I love how it makes everything look. I’m in a long distance relationship and when we’re in my partner’s city, I miss this TV so much.

Sony – UBP-X700/M Streaming 4K Ultra HD Blu-Ray Player ($260)

blu ray player

No TV would be complete without a Blu-Ray player. I know this isn’t the fanciest option, but it’s worked well for me.

My DVD/Blu-Ray collection as represented by this Agnès Varda box set ($200)

Agnes Varda box set

And I watch a lot of DVDs and Blu-Rays! Physical media is really important to me. I’ve built my collection since I was around 12 years old and I’m grateful to have access to a lot of films that often are no longer available to stream.

Criterion Channel Subscription ($100/year)

But obviously I don’t have the money or space to own everything I watch, so I’m still very grateful for the Criterion Channel aka the best streaming service. It has actual curation!

Bb Curl Shampoo ($37) and Conditioner ($38)

shampoo and conditioner

I’ve tried a lot of curl shampoos and conditioners over the years and I’ve landed on Bumble & Bumble. I feel like it is a good balance between keeping my hair healthy, making it smell good, and being affordable — relatively!

Gatorlyte ($3)

Gatorlyte

Whether I have the flu or a hangover or have just been outside on a hot summer day, Gatorlyte is my hero. I get dehydrated pretty easily and the introduction of Gatorlyte into my life has prevented so many headaches. I’m sure it’s bad for me, but I don’t care. It’s not like I drink it daily! It’s just a good cure-all to keep in the fridge.

Aveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel ($5)

shaving gel

As a Jewish transsexual, I’m always doing some sort of hair removal. Despite years of electrolysis and laser and regular epilating and tweezing, I do also shave various parts of my body and I love this shaving cream. The girlier shaving creams have often irritated my skin or smelled way too strong and the manly man shaving creams make me feel like a college boys lacrosse team has used my bathroom. Luckily, this falls right in the middle and can be used on my body and face.

Letterboxd Patron Subscription ($50/year)

I love Letterboxd so much. I’ve been logging my movie watching since I was a kid — first on paper, then on Mubi lists — and Letterboxd has made it so much better. It’s also become my favorite social media platform amid the downfall of Twitter. (All it needs is a DM feature!) Being a patron means getting to see my fun little stats and have no ads and also I’m just happy to support a good platform.

Magic Wand Mini ($89)

magic wand mini

No other vibrator comes close to the Magic Wand. I like the mini because it’s easier to maneuver in various positions.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 625 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. U use a vibratoe isn’t that cheating but criterion channel rocks u ain’t a real cinephile if ur trying to jack to chantsl Ackerman in that one movie. I mean Jack as gender neutral women can Jack too

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The ‘Yellowjackets’ Season 3 Trailer Is Here, Will Hunt You

“The past will come back to HUNT you,” warns the new full-length trailer for Yellowjackets season three. As is the tradition for Yellowjackets trailers —and my preference, honestly —not a ton of information is given out. It’s more about setting the tone, the atmosphere. And let me tell ya: I got chills the first time I watched this one.

It features our first glimpse of Hilary Swank, who has been added to the cast for season three (see more cast updates below). At the end of the trailer, she’s seen bloody on the side of the road, afraid of something we can’t see. Elijah Wood also appears for a brief second. But my favorite appearance in the trailer is Jackie’s! I love Shauna’s hallucinations of her dead best friend and a literal haunting, so I’m happy to see it looks like Ella Purnell will be getting some ghost performance action in season three.

As far as gay glimpses go, Adult Tai and Adult Van are seen making out at one point, but it’s sharply interrupted by Tai seeing the man with no eyes, so it’s not sexy so much as terrifying. Teen Tai warns the others in the woods that this place will follow them for the rest of their lives, which yes, does seem to be true!

I can’t wait to see my girls hunt each other for sport for another season!

When Will Yellowjackets Season 3 Come Out?

Yellowjackets season three officially has a premiere date: February 14, 2025. That’s right! Valentine’s Day! The most romantic day of the year will be the official return of the most romantic show on television (“just” “kidding”)! Season three, which was delayed due to the Hollywood strikes, will first debut on Paramount+ with Showtime on February 14, 2025 with the first two episodes (!!). Then, on February 16, both episodes will air on Showtime.

I am choosing to believe this premiere date was selected for me personally, as my dating anniversary with my wife is February 14. Three years ago in early November, my wife and I stayed up until 4 a.m. watching theYellowjackets press screeners I’d been sent because we literally could not stop, compelled by the Antler Queen herself perhaps to gobble the show up like Shauna snacking on her dead best friend’s ear. So, yes,Yellowjacketsis an important part of our relationship lore, the first time we’d ever become obsessed with a television show in tandem with each other. All of which is to say: I couldn’t think of a more perfect premiere date for season three. Without knowing we were both doing the same bit, we both sent each other the news of the premiere date with “happy anniversary”:

The premiere date was announced by a teaser that doesn’t provide a lot of concrete details, so we’ll have to keep waiting for a real trailer, but this is a show where I’m content to know very little heading in! Season three is set to have 10 episodes and picks up soon after the events of season two.

Here’s everything we know about Yellowjackets season three so far!

Who Is in the Cast for Yellowjackets Season 3?

We can expect to see most of the major players in season three: Melanie Lynskey, Tawny Cypress, Ella Purnell, Sophie Nélisse, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Sophie Thatcher, Samantha Hanratty, Steven Krueger, Warren Kole, Christina Ricci, Courtney Eaton, Liv Hewson, Kevin Alves, Simone Kessell, Elijah Wood, and Lauren Ambrose. Juliette Lewis presumably won’t be back as Nat, since she, you know, died in the (divisive) season two finale. That said, I did notice her name included in the cast credits under the season three teaser, but for all I know, that caption could have just been copy and pasted over from past videos (or written by AI just like a lot of these Everything We Know posts are at other outlets 🙃) so I’m choosing not to read too much into it! Ghost Nat moments would be cool though! I’m always pro ghost.

Joel McHale is set to join the cast, along with Hilary Swank, though there aren’t any details about the characters either will be playing. Swank will undoubtedly be a major player though, as Deadline reports there could be an “option for her to become a series regular should the hit series get a fourth season.” Intrigued!

Wait, Wasn’t There Something About a Bonus Episode?

Great question! There sure was! Co-creator Ashley Lyle tweeted back in summer 2023 to confirm the existence of a bonus episode (season two was only nine episodes long) to bridge the gap between seasons two and three, teasing it would come out closer to season three’s premiere. Hopefully that’s still coming? Would make a great Christmas gift, hint hint @ Showtime!!!!

Other GayYellowjacketsSeason 3 Updates

Keep checking back for more updates as February nears!


We’re counting down the days until Yellowjackets season three comes out on February 14, 2025, and in the meantime, you can revisit or catch up on all of Autostraddle’s episodic recaps from seasons one and two! Let me know in the comments what some of your predictions for season three are!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

13 Comments

      • i found a whole reddit speculating who she could be. a lot of people saying cop/fbi and i’m hoping that’s not the case ugh. maybe part of rescue crew? someone else is speculating she could be playing a hiker who goes missing in the wilderness in 1997 who runs into them lol but that seems like a stretch. someone said the pic of the character that showtime posted looks like an author pic from the flap of a book LOL so maybe a survivor who wrote about the experience but I think in that case we would have already heard about her from the others

  1. who said romance is dead. my wife and i will be sat and ready for a romantic evening. no babysitter required!

  2. There won’t be a bonus episode before season three. The showrunners have said something to the effect of it being folded into season three.

Comments are closed.

‘A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter’ Makes the Yuletide Gay and Horny

Sabrina Carpenter’s Netflix holiday special A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter is 50 minutes of pure musical nonsense, Sabrina joined by various guests for duets and silly sketches. It’s made for those of us who know the truth about the holidays, which is that they’re a horny gay time. “Strap on,” Sabrina urges viewers at the top of the special, a curious phrasing. Shouldn’t it be strap in? No it should not! Because this is a holiday special for the freaks! Like is it just me or did her microphone the whole time look like a Magic Wand? That had to be on purpose, right?

Sabrina Carpenter singing in her christmas special

The whole special is very funny. Megan Amram who wrote on The Good Place was one of the writers, and I think everything she does is hilarious. Sabrina leans into her persona as a tiny horny starlet. Definitely don’t skip the bloopers sequence at the end! Give this girl a holiday special every year! The former Disney star jumped out! She’s such a performer.

Queer comedian Megan Stalter appears in a sketch in which Sabrina seemingly doesn’t know she’s dating literal Santa. Cara Delevingne appears in a sketch as well, and the visual comedy of her towering over the very short Sabrina and Abbott Elementary‘s Quinta Brunson is delightful. Bisexual artist Kali Uchis duets with Sabrina on a version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” that is somehow even more sexual than the original song, heightened by the fact that they perform while on a fur rug by a fireplace.

Sabrina Carpenter and Kali Uchis

Chappell Roan also joined for a duet, singing a yearning-heavy rendition of “Last Christmas” with Sabrina. They both wore outfits I can only describe as mob wife meets wintry mermaid. The costumes throughout the special are very fun, so shoutout to the special’s costume designer Jeanie Cheek.

Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter in Sabrina's Christmas special

As a true believer in the holidays being a horny time and Christmas basically being a gay pageant, this special really did it for me. Though not quite good enough to unseat Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas? as my favorite holiday special, but it serves as a delicious pregame to popping that modern classic on.

The special ends with Sabrina singing a holiday remix of her hit “Nonsense” that is stuffed to the brim with holiday-themed innuendo to an impressive degree. Here’s a snippet:

Think I only want you under my mistletoe
I might change your contact to “Has a huge North Pole”
You said you like my stockings better on the floor
Boy, I’ve been a bad girl, I guess I’m gettin’ coal (no)

My girl is the queen of unsubtle! I love it! If you’re looking to have a slutty, silly good time this Christmas, Sabrina Carpenter’s got you.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

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Quiz: Which ‘Wicked’ Character Are You?

At this point, I just pretty much have a song from Wicked stuck in my head at all times. I’m not fighting it! The holiday season is now the Wicked season. Don’t text me unless it’s to say something like this:

If you care to find me Loooook to the western sky

So, naturally, I had to make a Which Wicked Character Are You quiz with a bunch of Wicked-themed questions. YOU’RE SO VERY WELCOME!


Which 'Wicked' Character Are You?

Pick a Wicked song:(Required)
Pick a Wicked crush:(Required)
What are you holding space for right now?(Required)
Choose a lyric from Defying Gravity to hold space for:(Required)
Pick a Wicked movie prop/costume item:(Required)
Pick a fake Wicked word:(Required)
Pick another movie musical:(Required)
What’s your favorite movie theater snack?(Required)
Choose a Wicked cast member:(Required)
If you were a witch, what kind of spell would you like to cast?(Required)
Pick a witch from pop culture:(Required)

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Related:

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. In that viral interview, the reporter mentions people holding space WITH the lyrics of Defying Gravity which feels like a totally different, more nuanced and powerful act than holding space “for.”

    Also this quiz is everything and I got Elphaba, of course. (“Well. Pink goes WELL with…”)

  2. Elphaba

    You are Elphaba!

    Yes, you are that bitch. A green machine who’s misunderstood and more powerful than anyone can imagine. You act lowkey but secretly love a little drama. You have a homoerotic vibe with your “roommate.”

    Yes, my roommate, Bed, and I get along swimmingly.

  3. Elphaba. Technically I don’t have homoerotic vibes with my roommate YET, but I already have vibes with my future roommate.

Comments are closed.

‘(This Is Not) A Christmas Movie’ Is Not a Very Good Christmas Movie, but It Does Have a Queer Sex Scene

My coworkers and I were recently lamenting the lack of sex scenes in holiday movies. Happiest Season, we reasoned, would be so much better with a sex scene, with a little more heat in general. But Happiest Season, of course, is following the formula of your typical holiday-set rom-com, which depending on your relationship to the predominantly straight genre means you either love Happiest Season or it isn’t really for you. I’m somewhere in the latter camp. I’m less interested in queer films that take existing formulas and recreate them, even when they do it well. To me, those feel less like queer films and more like films with gay characters in them. I understand why sapphic lovers of corny holiday rom-coms latched onto Happiest Season. It is indeed successful at following the formula. But of course, that formula is a sexless one. Holiday rom-coms load up the romance without becoming too sexual. They’re supposed to be “wholesome.” Hallmark, the network that cranks out the most holiday rom-coms, reproduces family-friendly films over and over in which genuine social strife doesn’t exist and heteronormative relationships and life are the key to lasting happiness. They’re fantasy films, really. So, no, these films don’t touch politics, and they don’t touch sex. Happiest Season breaks that first rule but with kid gloves on. And it doesn’t touch the second. It says, hey, lesbians can be wholesome for the holidays, too! Maybe that message lands well for some people, but it’s why watching Happiest Season for me feels somewhat like picking up a snow globe: It’s nice to look at in the moment, but when I set it back down, I’m not really thinking about it at all anymore.

Imagine my surprise then when, a few days after I told my coworkers there should be more holiday-adjacent queer sex scenes in films (Carol does count in my book, for what it’s worth), I popped on a Christmas movie I’d agreed to check out for review and was met with several sex scenes, including a queer one. The conceit of the Dutch comedy (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is all right there in the title. It’s the anti-Christmas movie in that it pretty much says fuck you to everything in the holiday rom-com formula. It’s raunchy and full of deeply flawed characters, its central family fractured by affairs, a public cancellation, and more unsavory situations. It’s decidedly unromantic.

Even the film’s queer sex scene feels unexpected, turning into a threesome between the family’s gay daughter Jus and her bisexual girlfriend and their queer guy friend, who Jus tops. In the moment, the scene is interesting, especially since Jus seems to be discovering some things about herself. But then beyond the context of the scene itself, it’s unclear exactly what (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is trying to say in its queer storytelling at all, the narrative muddled into nonsense. Jus teaches kindergartners to break out of gendered stereotypes for a living, a job (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie can’t seem to decide if its on the side of the characters who make fun of her work for being too woke or not. So when Jus has a very gender essentialist outburst at dinner after the sex scene, it just doesn’t fully track for the character. I admire (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie‘s wild attacks on the sanctity of holiday films, but they’re not particularly well aimed attacks and end up poking holes in the movie’s own foundation.

(This Is Not) A Christmas Movie never quite meets the potential of its promise of a fucked-up formula. Outside of an unnecessary narrator telling us way too much about the characters in the first act (which then becomes the stupidest gag of the movie in its final one), the beginning of the film is solid, signaling right away that this will not be a feel-good Christmas movie at all. You’re going to actively feel bad, a true-to-life holiday experience for many! Holidays are messy, because families are, and the holidays heighten that. But where I thought we might get a Dutch version of the Christmas episode of The Bear, (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is too gleeful in its naughtiness, tries too hard to be on bad behavior instead of making the characters feel more real. Its oddly redemptive in the wrong places, turning a group of men’s rights losers into the good guys and reducing the harassment of the family’s sex pest patriarch to a simple midlife crisis.

So, no, I can’t quite recommend (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie to you, even if you’re looking for alternative holiday movie experiences. For that, maybe watch my favorite Christmas movie that is not a Christmas movie at all: How To Blow Up a Pipeline. My quest for a horny (the holidays are horny!) holiday movie with lesbians continues.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 940 articles for us.

4 Comments

  1. Family friendly is cool but I can’t trust Dutch with comedy I mean when’s last time I saw a Dutch comedian

  2. oh gosh this is just extremely on-brand for a dutch comedy, unfortunately. the moment i read the premise and the fact that it’s a dutch movie i just knew what was going to happen. i cringed at the description of the gay character’s job and the redemption of the MRAs. this is dutch entertainment to a t: never ever EVER appear to actually be progressive and have morals or some sort of political awareness, what are you, some kind of pussy???

  3. Also, not that it matters very much because this movie seems to be a predictable edgefest (not about edging but very edgy), but I’m pretty sure the character’s name is not Jus but Jos (short for Josje)

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13 Sapphic Holiday Romances To Devour This Winter

There are few things I love more than a good romance. Or even a bad romance. One of those things? A good (or bad!) holiday romance. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a sucker for a cheesy Hallmark Christmas rom-com. Yes, they’re predictable, but that’s the charm of them! My biggest issue? Not enough sapphic holiday rom-coms.

And that’s where books come in! While TV networks are slow to catch on that sapphics want to see our love stories on-screen, books are willing to keep up with the demand. These stories make you want to curl up on the couch in a thick sweater with a mug of your favorite hot chocolate while sitting next to your twinkling Christmas tree.

Because what is the holiday season about if not a little romance? (I say this as a person who got engaged on Christmas!)


Make My Wish Come True by Rachael Lippincott & Alyson Derrick

Make My Wish Come True

Teen actress Arden James is more well-known for her party girl persona than her acting abilities. So when a picky director won’t give her a role because of her off-screen antics, Arden and her publicist make up a lie. They say that she’s from a small town (technically not a lie) and that she’s dating her childhood best friend Caroline (huge lie), which she can prove when she goes home for Christmas.

Caroline isn’t interested in anything having to do with Arden James. She’s been out of sight, out of mind for years. But when Arden shows up on her doorstep promising her an article in Cosmopolitan in exchange for pretending to be her girlfriend for 12 days, Caroline knows that it’s the journalistic opportunity she needs. What could possibly go wrong?

I’ll Be Gone for Christmas by Georgia K. Boone

I'll Be Gone for Christmas

If you wished that holiday classic The Holiday had a sapphic element, you’re in luck with this new holiday romance.

Bee Turner needs to get away from San Francisco. Everything is too much. So when her best friend suggests she list her sleek apartment on popular house swapping site Vacate, Bee jumps at the chance to escape. Meanwhile, Clover Mills has been having a year. Between losing her mother and ending things with her fiancé as a result, she needs to get out of her small Ohio town. When she hears about Vacate, her bags are packed faster than you can say cable car.

When she gets to San Francisco, Clover can’t seem to avoid Bee’s sister Beth, while Bee keeps finding herself in the presence of Clover’s ex, Knox. Maybe holiday magic is a real thing after all.

It’s important to mention that only one of these storylines is sapphic, featuring a late-in-life coming out story.

Make the Season Bright by Ashley Herring Blake

Make the Season Bright

Ashley Herring Blake sapphic holiday romance? Say less, I’m already in.

Charlotte Donovan is living the dream as a violinist in New York City. Nevermind the fact that she was left at the altar five years ago and she never hears from her single mother. She’s ready for Christmastime in the city when her ensemble mate Sloane invites everyone to Colorado for the holiday.

The group aren’t the only ones in Colorado for Christmas — Sloane’s sister has brought home her friend Brighton, who just happens to be Charlotte’s ex. Now the two women have to pretend that they don’t know each other. Except that gets increasingly harder as their past comes back to them with a vengeance.

I’ll Get Back to You by Becca Grischow

I'll Get Back To You

There is something about a holiday romance that just begs for a fake dating storyline. Technically, this is a Thanksgiving story, but honestly, it’s all the holiday season in my mind!

All Murphy wants is to get out of her small Illinois town and start her life somewhere else. Instead, she’s stuck working in the same coffee shop she’s been working at since she was sixteen, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to pass that pesky community college class that’s keeping her from graduating.

Murphy’s string of bad luck could potentially change thanks to former classmate Ellie Meyers. Ellie’s mom just happens to be the same professor whose class Murphy keeps failing. Ellie and Murphy realize that they are each other’s best bets for the next step in their goal lists, so they hatch a fake dating plan. Except the dating quickly feels not so fake…

This Christmas by Georgia Beers

This Christmas by Georgia Beers

No-kill animal shelter Junebug Farms decide to sponsor their town’s annual Christmas parade as a way to bring more attention to the shelter. And they will use the parade’s king and queen to create videos to ensure that all their pups are delivered to their forever homes on Santa’s sleigh.

What they don’t know is that the parade is going to have two queens this year. That is if longtime dog walking volunteer (and resident matchmaker) Mia Sorenson has her way. Mia rigs the voting so that her granddaughter Samantha and her friend Keegan get the gig. But will the two women overcome years of beating around the bush and the public embarrassment to make true love real?

Make You Mine This Christmas by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

Make You Mine This Christmas

Haf hasn’t had the best year, and all she wants to do is go to a Christmas party and have a good time. But her good time gets a little too festive: she gets drunk and kisses Christopher under the mistletoe while his ex-girlfriend just happens to be watching.

Suddenly, a drunken kiss turns into a fake relationship, with Haf joining Chrisopher’s family for the holiday season so he can save face. But word to the wise Haf, don’t fall in love with your fake boyfriend’s sister…

Most Wonderful by Georgia Clark

Most Wonderful

The Belvedere siblings’ lives are all falling apart when they show up to celebrate Christmas in the Catskills with their singer/actress mother Babs. Oldest daughter Liz has become a showrunner who can’t figure out season two of her hit show, and also can’t get a handle on her crush on the show’s star Violet. Her comedian middle sister Birdie is chasing skirts more than she’s chasing gigs, causing her to fear that she will be a flash in the pan. And then there’s their little brother Rafi, who proposed to his coworker girlfriend in front of the whole office and got turned down.

During their time in the mountains, each of the siblings learns a lot about themselves, their eccentric mother, and each other. And of course, there’s also a little holiday romantic sparkle.

The Christmas Swap by Talia Samuels

The Christmas Swap

The last thing newly single businesswoman Margot wants is a holiday romance. But when sweet Ben needs a girlfriend to spend Christmas with him and his family, she can’t say no. She knows that nothing will happen — she’ll get a couple weeks away from London, Ben gets his family off his back. It’s a win-win situation.

There is something that Margot didn’t anticipate when making the deal: Ben’s sister Ellie. She has Margot majorly rethinking the whole holiday romance thing.

A Holly Jolly Christmas: A Second Chance Lesbian Romance by Emily Wright

A Holly Jolly Christmas: A Second Chance Lesbian Romance by Emily Wright

Everything you need to know about this story is right there in the title. If there’s another trope I love for a holiday romance, it’s second chance.

Holly hasn’t been home in the two years since her brother died. Her family is still grieving, her ex won’t stop calling, and everything gets worse when she bumps into her first love, Vicky Castleton.

While Holly is trying to heal the broken parts of herself, her family and best friend keep pushing her to confront her past. And as she spends more time with Vicky, it’s clear that Holly has never gotten over her. Is Christmas the perfect time for her to risk it all for love?

It’s a Fabulous Life by Kelly Farmer

It's a Fabulous Life

A sapphic It’s a Wonderful Life you say? Love it!

Bailey George is ready to bid adieu to Lanford Falls and finally leave her responsibilities behind for a vacation in New York City. But then the person taking over her leadership position for the town’s Winter Wonderfest gets sick, and obligation keeps Bailey from following through with her plans. While she’s pretty bummed about being stuck in Lanford Falls, things get a little better when her crush Marla agrees to help her out.

Unfortunately for Bailey, things just keep going wrong. Then one night, she finds herself under the town’s old bridge. When she wishes that she had never been born, a drag queen named Clara Angel shows her that Lanford Falls wouldn’t be better off without her. And holiday magic can make any dreams come true.

How to Excavate a Heart by Jake Maia Arlow

How To Excavate a Heart

Shani didn’t mean to hit May with her mom’s Subaru. It was just another part of the curse of Winter Break, including the way Shani got dumped. But she’s going to push all that aside and focus on her month-long paleoichthyology internship. After all, that’s why she’s in D.C.

But when a dog walking gig serendipitously brings May back into Shani’s life, it’s easy to forget about fish fossils and heartbreak. Especially when they get snowed in together on Christmas Eve. Things were never supposed to turn out this way. Will Shani be able to accept that sometimes plans change?

Season of Love by Helena Greer

Season of Love

When artist Miriam Blum’s great aunt Cass dies and leaves her the family Christmas tree farm, she has to face parts of her past that she really doesn’t want to. All she wants to do is sit shiva (yes, there is something ironic about a Jewish woman running a Christmas tree farm), avoid her parents and get as far away from the farm as she can. But of course, life has other plans.

The business is about to go under, and to save it, Miriam must work together with Noelle, the farm’s grumpy manager. The chemistry between them is enough to burn the trees to the ground, but will that help them save the farm?

In the Event of Love by Courtney Kae

In the Event of Love

LA event planner Morgan’s life has blown up after a work-related scandal, and she’s forced to head home to Fern Falls for the holidays. But Fern Falls isn’t the idyllic holiday haven she wants it to be. Mainly because her former best friend turned crush Rachel is there. Rachel, who has now become a sexy lumberjane thanks to working at her family’s Christmas tree farm.

Soon, Morgan learns that Rachel’s tree farm is the only thing keeping Fern Falls from being sold to a seedy developer. So Morgan decides to put her party planning to good use and create the ultimate holiday experience. But just because she’s helping Rachel’s farm doesn’t mean they’re going to fall in love. Right?

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Sa'iyda Shabazz

Sa'iyda is a writer and mom who lives in LA with her partner, son and 3 adorable, albeit very extra animals. She has yet to meet a chocolate chip cookie she doesn't like, spends her free time (lol) reading as many queer romances as she can, and has spent the better part of her life obsessed with late 90s pop culture.

Sa'iyda has written 136 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. I have read (or listened to) several of these selections and they’re so much fun. Shout out to Season of Love – it has a thick, butch lead and both of those characteristics are sorely lacking in most lesbian fiction.
    And as a devotee of It’s a Wonderful Life, It’s A Fabulous Life is delightful. Thank you for this list!

  2. Great list! Just a heads up though, the link for How To Exacavate a Heart is accidentally linked to A Fabulous Life 🫶🏿

  3. Yay, more romance recs from Sa’iyda <3.

    I have to shout out my very favorite Sapphic holiday romance – Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun. It's a very, very loose retelling of the movie While You Were Sleeping – without the coma but with lots of humor and pathos and love.

    I really enjoyed How to Excavate a Heart, although it was different than I expected from the blurb. Here's a bit from my StoryGraph review.

    4.5 stars. Delightful Sapphic romance between two first-year college students spending winter break in Washington DC.

    It’s told from the first person POV of Shani, a nerdy, anxious Jewish lesbian. I think your enjoyment of the book will depend on whether you can handle her anxious, overthinking narration. Read the sample.

    Your enjoyment may also depend on whether you can handle the stress of reading such an accurate portrayal of what it's like to be 18 years old – complete with poor impulse control and crazy mood swings. (This may just be me and my middle aged sensibilities). I had to put this down a couple times when I got stressed about both Shani and May making (age appropriate) poor choices. But I did really enjoy their relationship and personal growth – it was satisfying and believable.

    Content notes: sexual assault (in the past, off page).

  4. FYI anyone who might try out the Christmas Swap, I made it a ways into it before the fact that the book ignores that bisexuality exists made me put it down. Everyone’s like, she was a dating a man, she couldn’t possibly date a woman now 🙄

  5. Thank you for this round up! My TBR just got bigger.

    An aside: How about everyone talking about romance strikes “cheesy” from adjectives when we talk about romance of any kind. The larger literary community regularly dunks on romance as “cheap, unpleasant, and blatantly inauthentic” which is what “cheesy” means.

    How about “cozy” or “lighthearted” instead? I believe that’s the intent in this article’s opening. Those are words used for other genres when the story is, well, cozy and lighthearted.

  6. I also loved the M/F bi for bi rep in Wishing on Winter. More fake dating! It also features older queer characters and a fat main character, and is generally cute and delightful

  7. My favourite of this genre (and one of my faves in the romance genre in general) is Kiss Her Once For Me by Alison Cochrun. Highly recommend!

  8. my favorite way to escape from my family during the holidays is to download a lesbian holiday romance and read it on my kindle while they watch movies about explosions so this list is very appreciated

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Should I Hold Space For My Ex-Friend Detailing All The Times I Hurt Them

How much space to give an aggrieved ex-friend?
Q
Hi, I wrote in several months ago about having a younger queer friend with whom it was hard to be in a relationship, as they make their own mistakes. Since then, I set boundaries that were truly the distance at which I could love myself and them at the same time—which was from pretty far away!
Recently, we had a check-in, and I shared some of where I was coming from. They admitted that there were many times they felt hurt by my actions but didn't share those feelings with me. During the conversation, they were very afraid to share what those times or actions were. I held a lot of space for them, and they eventually shared one example, which was useful to gauge the kinds of things they’re talk...

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In ‘Power Alley,’ Bodily Autonomy Is a Team Sport

When the rights of trans people are under attack, an oft-made argument is that cis women will be next. It’s a plea for a selfish form of allyship — if you don’t care about us, at least care about yourselves. This framing has always bothered me. I want cis people to care about trans people because we’re people. But also cis women — especially cis women with marginalization beyond gender — still experience plenty of oppression. It feels like a bastardization of the thing we need most: solidarity. Not solidarity inspired by self-preservation, but solidarity born from genuine care. Lillah Hallah’s Power Alley begins with an act of teamwork. A trans girl takes off her wig and hands it to her masc friend with a shaved head. Then the trans girl and an obvious little dyke distract a pharmacist while the masc friend — looking like a proper, unassuming lady in the wig — shoplifts some essentials. Makeup. Hormones. A pregnancy test. None of these three characters will be our protagonist, and yet beginning with this joyful — and practical! — example of rebellion clarifies the point of the film. It’s as much about these individuals as it is about Sofia (Ayomi Domenica), the girl who will eventually use the pregnancy test. Sofia is the best player on her super queer and trans volleyball team and when that pregnancy test comes back positive, her dreams of accepting a scholarship to play in Chile begin to slip away. She confides in her best friend, the shoplifting dyke, and is adamant that she wants an abortion. Unfortunately, in Brazil, where these teens live, abortion is illegal. There have been many, many excellent films following characters attempting to get abortions despite restrictive laws. From dramatic thrillers like 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days (2007) and Happening (2021) to comedies like Unpregnant (2020), from this year’s harrowing The Girl with a Needle to an essential subplot in Portrait of a Lady on Fire, this all too common — past and present — experience has been captured well on-screen. Power Alley has the most in common with the very best of these films: Eliza Hittmann’s Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020). Despite their radically different tones, both films are just as interested in the bonds that help its pregnant character seek what she needs as they are a realistic portrait of the restrictions they face. But while Never Rarely Sometimes Always is a work of contemporary neorealism, Power Alley is fun. Hallah balances the film’s tones with an expert touch as scenes of harrowing oppression alternate with scenes of raucous queer teen joy. And I don’t mean Queer Joy™ — I mean friends to lovers lesbian sex scenes and peeing off an overpass onto cars. Unlike many films about abortion that isolate the protagonist — or give them one ally — this film dares to give Sofia a collective. She has her best friend and the rest of her volleyball team, and she also has her supportive coach Sol (Grace Passô) and even her imperfect dad. A weaker film would have relied on the teens’ lack of support for dramatic effect — Hallah understands that to fight the well-organized anti-abortion coalitions it requires coalitions of our own. Throughout the film, easy narrative choices are resisted for the unexpected and more effective. That’s as true for the ways the film is ultimately an underdog sports movie as it is in the ways it exists within and beyond the subgenre of abortion films. The team decides that if they win the championship, they can give Sofia the prize money for her abortion. It’s a perfect narrative conceit that ends up shifting from movie fantasy to real life in ways that are sharp and powerful. While the film’s plot is primarily focused on abortion access, the film is also an essential portrait of another overly politicized issue: trans teens in sports. During one scene, the shoplifting trans girl takes her estrogen shot, while a teammate rubs T gel on themself. It’s implied that their coach Sol had to fight hard to create this utopic vision of teen sports, and the results are obviously worth it. These kids have found community and are learning about how to work hard and help each other and win as well as lose. What else could teen sports possibly be about? As Masha Gessen recently argued in The New Yorker, trans rights are reproductive rights. And so these two threads in Power Alley are one. Whether in Brazil or the U.S., access to trans healthcare and access to abortion are intrinsically linked. In our fight for bodily autonomy, we need each other, we are each other. (Trans people get abortions! Cis people take hormones!) Don’t fight for trans people, because your rights could be next. Don’t fight for abortion, because restrictions also endanger people with planned pregnancies. Why build coalitions from self-interest when self-interest should be implied? If I’m on the team and you’re on the team, we lose and win together.
Power Alley is now playing in limited theatres. 
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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 625 articles for us.

1 Comment

  1. This really hit home : “Not solidarity inspired by self-preservation, but solidarity born from genuine care.”

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A Gift Guide for Your Favorite Iced Coffee Loving Queer

According to all the memes, no one has a dependency on iced coffee quite like the queers do. Whether it’s December or July, you can pry an iced coffee out of a queer’s cold — VERY COLD — hands. I have been known to don a pair of fingerless gloves just to have a better grip on the freezing cold plastic cup from my favorite coffee place that holds the sweet, cold elixir I consider my emotional support beverage.

Supporting an iced coffee habit gets pricey, so maybe you want to start making your own at home. Honestly, it’s a smart choice to make, and there are plenty of ways to make your favorite cold caffeinated beverage in the privacy of your own home. Of course, you can use a regular coffee maker and just throw ice in the cup to make an iced coffee. But since the drink has grown in popularity, there are coffee makers equipped to make iced coffee more specifically.

While iced coffee is one option, cold brew is also a tasty alternative cold coffee. The biggest difference between the two is that like its name suggests, cold brew is brewed with cold water, so it’s a different process than regular iced coffee. It takes longer and requires a different kind of maker. No matter how you like your cold coffee, there are more ways than ever to make it yourself!


Makers

While there are a million different kinds of coffee makers out there, finding an iced coffee/cold brew maker is a little bit more of a process. These things can get pricey (makers from KitchenAid and Keurig are over $100), but there are some solid affordable options out there now that cold coffee has grown in popularity.

Iced coffee is a much faster process than making cold brew. You can have an iced coffee that is ready in less than 10 minutes. The iced coffee makers aren’t that different from a standard coffee maker. In fact, the Hamilton Beach maker does both (and its programmable!).

A standard cold brew maker needs at least 12 hours to properly brew and steep a batch of cold brew. Usually, a cold brew maker is going to hold more than a standard coffee maker, so you don’t have to make a fresh batch every day; depending on how much you drink at a time, you may only have to make it twice a week. The Instant cold brew maker is from the same company that makes the Instant Pot, which means that you’ll get that same cold brew taste in much less time, which is great!

Coffee

There’s a difference between regular iced coffee and cold brew. If you’re making your own cold brew, one thing that’s important to remember is that cold brew grounds and regular coffee grounds are different. Cold brew grounds are coarser because usually you’re steeping them in cold water. They have to work harder to brew, so they’re rougher. I personally really like the Hawaiian cold brew blends from Kauai Coffee, but you’ll likely have to do some trial and error to see what tastes right to you.

If you’re just going to make regular iced coffee, you technically can use any kind of ground coffee you prefer. The basic bitch in me loves a Dunkin iced coffee, so that’s the kind I’m buying for home use. My wife is slightly fancier than me, so she likes Peet’s coffee. To each their own. But let it be known, brands like Dunkin do make specific iced coffee grounds if you’re so inclined to want them.

Cups

Iced coffee tastes best in a cup that keeps up the “iced” in the name. Since I really got into drinking iced coffee and cold brew, I have amassed quite a collection of tumblers with straws and lids. Because I have so many, I have become a bit of a connoisseur; a regular plastic tumbler isn’t going to keep your drink cold for very long. A mug doesn’t have enough room for ice, so I wouldn’t use it unless you’re drinking cold brew out of it.

A double vacuum insulated tumbler is really the best way to keep your iced coffee nice and cold. Usually they come in any size starting at 8 ounces. I tend to get one that’s around 20 ounces — you want to make sure you have room for ice. I have reusable ice cubes because I hate watery drinks. You can also fill an ice cube tray with coffee and make coffee ice cubes to keep your drink extra potent.

Accessories

One of the fun parts of getting your iced coffee somewhere else is that you can make it fun and fancy with things like foams and syrups. But fear not! You can do those things at home thanks to these accessories.

The Dreo milk frother is good for both hot and cold milk foam, but more importantly, it works with dairy based milks and plant based milks. And we all know, you can’t separate a queer from their plant based milk (Shoutout to oatmilk for always having my back!).

If you’re like me, you think the taste of coffee is absolutely disgusting. You can hide that with coffee creamer (many also come in plant based milks now), or if you like using non-flavored milk, or if you’re one of those people who drink black coffee, use a syrup! Torani is arguably one of the most famous syrup makers, and this coffee lover variety pack includes Brown Sugar Cinnamon, White Chocolate, and three classic flavors: Hazelnut, Caramel, and Vanilla.

Looking to jazz up your favorite insulated cup? Might I suggest this funny sticker? When I searched Redbubble for lesbian stickers, this was one of the first things to pop up. Make of that what you will.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Sa'iyda Shabazz

Sa'iyda is a writer and mom who lives in LA with her partner, son and 3 adorable, albeit very extra animals. She has yet to meet a chocolate chip cookie she doesn't like, spends her free time (lol) reading as many queer romances as she can, and has spent the better part of her life obsessed with late 90s pop culture.

Sa'iyda has written 136 articles for us.

1 Comment

  1. This is probably the most for me holiday gift guide so far this year! I got into making cold brew at home this year, and it’s great (even if I’m still figuring out exactly what coffee I like to use when I brew).

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Trump’s Cabinet Picks Ranked by the Raw Terror I Feel in My Soul When I Look Into Their Eyes

As has been noted by many others