“And Just Like That” Miranda Is THAT Girl

Let me tell you something: If anyone ever says to me, “I was craving me some Heather” the way Miranda says to Che, “I was craving me some Che” in this episode of television, I hope they literally mean they want to bludgeon me in my heart with a spear me and cannibalize my dead body in a sacrament to a lesbian deer goddess — which is the plot of Yellowjackets, I believe — rather than meaning they simply want to hang out. Because “I was craving me some Che” is the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Worse than the time A ran under Hanna Marin with her car and then sneaked into the hospital to sign her cast “My bad!” Worse than the time Sue Sylvester locked Kurt and Blaine in an elevator with that psychotic doll of herself riding a tricycle in the hopes that they’d get back together. Worse than that time when Serena van der Woodsen hired an actor to play her cousin and then her fake cousin started dating all her dads. WORSE THAN WHEN EMILY FIELDS STABBED HER DEAD GIRLFRIEND’S FAKE COUSIN ON TOP OF THAT LIGHTHOUSE. Worse than all fake cousins!

I was actually going to say, “I don’t even know where to start with this storyline this week” — but let’s start there. With Miranda craving her some Che.

No one, not even Che and Miranda, mention that Miranda left her husband of 15 years and hopped on a plane to Cleveland to chase down Che last week, or that en route she called Carrie and screamed, “I’M IN A ROM-COM.”

A close-up of Che watching bewildered as Miranda leaves

Pikachu making a shocked face

Apparently it went… okay? Because Che and Miranda are now going on dates at diners? However, despite that whole Ohio gesture, when Miranda shows up at Che’s apartment unannounced this week with cookies, calling herself Meg Ryan, Che’s kind of annoyed and Miranda is so mortified she unfurls her body down like three flights of stairs, cursing herself and her newfound lusty impetuousness. She firmly says that she is NOT in a rom-com, and also that she’s sorry she’s the worst, and also she did bring cookies, and also it was a boundary violation, and also she was just “craving me some Che.”

This is actually one of the few times we’ve seen Miranda and Che have an actual conversation, and maybe if they’d had multiple episodes of conversations, multiple episodes of flirty dates, maybe then they would make a little bit more sense. Miranda’s late-blooming queer mania makes sense. Che’s whole Che deal makes sense. (I keep seeing people say Che Diazes don’t exist, which is just the wildest thing in the world to me. It’s fine if you don’t like them, but, I mean, I know several Che Diazes. I was just talking to Stef Schwartz about this last night. Che Diazes are real! They are not cryptids! They walk among us!) But I just don’t buy Miranda and Che together. Sex? Yes. Diner dates? No. At one point, Miranda compliments Che by saying, like, “You look really, um, whatever is a good, non-gendered, non-objectifying way to say, you know, handsome or pretty or nice or sexy. I don’t want to offend you!”

Che asks Miranda to please come back upstairs, but Miranda just stays there in the foyer screeching about how it’s just fine — just totally fine!!!! — if Che is having sex with other people. Che says they are not sleeping with anyone but Miranda right now. HOWEVER. Che and Miranda are not dating, Miranda is not Che’s girlfriend, they are just “having fun” and “getting to know each other,” okay? Miranda says she’s fine with that too. SHE IS FINE. Che asks if Miranda will please leave the cookies, but Miranda will not leave the cookies, because the cookies are a metaphor — and so Miranda is going to withhold them. And also stop answering Che’s calls and texts immediately. Oh, she’ll still be checking her phone constantly, but Che won’t know.

Che stands on the stairs in a black tee with cut off sleeves looking confused while Miranda paces around in the foyer screaming about cookies and monogamy

Actual dialogue: “Miranda, what the fuck?”

When Miranda tells Carrie this plan, Carrie’s brain goes whizzing back 20 years, and she feels completely baffled, once again, that dating turmoil is how Miranda is choosing to spend her fifties.

Steve, too, remains baffled. When he and Brady show up at the house-painting day for Dr. Nya Wallace’s women’s shelter — which is either in Greenpoint of Fort Greene, which are not the same place, but the characters keep using their names interchangeably — he volunteers to work with Carrie. When they get alone, he immediately launches into an investigation of the what, when, and where of Che Diaz. The problem with this scene is that while Steve gets the pronouns right, he and Carrie keep calling Che a woman — as in, “Did you know Miranda wants to be with women?” — over and over and over. Carrie says she didn’t know Miranda is gay, and, in fact, in the original series she one time yelled I AM NOT GAY at a man in the park. Carrie doesn’t want to talk about this, and Steve gets it, but also, last week Miranda dropped the Che news on him and then hopped on a plane to Cleveland and hasn’t been heard from since, so he would really just like to have an answer or two to work with. Carrie starts physically backing away from him, then steps in a paint tray in some like ten-inch bedazzled heels, and then drops Big’s wedding ring down the drain when she’s trying to wash the paint off her completely insane shoes. And that’s why you always wear sneakers!

Steve and Carrie talk in front of an open window

Steve, if I can hold this pose in these heels three months after having my hip replaced, anyone can do anything. You can even date again.

Steve finally backs off and just helps her get her ring back.

Also lost this week? Lily’s tampon string. (That was a masterful transition, you are correct, and I probably do deserve a Pulitzer for it.) See, Charlotte’s done getting her period. Finally! Menopause! But Lily’s just started with getting her period, and while she’s been reluctant to try wearing tampons, she’s decided to give it a go so she doesn’t miss out on her bestie’s pool party in the Hamptons. You know, just typical teen stuff. Charlotte lives for these bonding moments and puts an entire dinner party on hold to help Lily figure out the mechanics. It’s legitimately hilarious. Charlotte’s miming that Lily should push it sort of in and back, not up at a 90-degree angle; then coaching her from inside the shower; then hopping back out to do an even grander pep talk with shadow puppets. She isn’t weird about it at all, just animated, and as much as Charlotte has struggled this season to get a handle on being the parent of a trans kid, these are the times when she shines. On day two of the Great Tampon Wars, Lily loses the string, and Charlotte coaxes her through trying to find it from outside the port-a-potty at the women’s shelter painting party.

As a reward, Charlotte gets a flash period — while wearing the whitest coveralls in existence — and so Carrie and Miranda spring into action and wrap her up in a sweatshirt.

Ah, memories!

Lily and Charlotte walk down the sidewalk

Coveralls are in, Lily, I saw them on Wildfang.

So. Carrie’s wedding ring. She can’t bring herself to take it off, which everyone keeps telling her is okay, but she realizes the fact of it probably means she isn’t ready for her second date with Peter the Teacher and his beautiful hair. So instead of taking it off, she uses a Band-Aid to fashion a DOUBLE wedding ring out of hers and Big’s rings, and goes to the date place to tell Peter she can’t do a date. He gets it. He’s still got a voicemail from his wife that he listens to all the time. But it is two strikes with them, and he knows it and he wants her to know it too.

It’s not the baseball talk that jolts Carrie into finally tucking her wedding ring in a box in the closet; it’s the fact that Steve tells her that he’s never, ever, ever gonna take his wedding ring off. He said “til death do us part” and he meant it. Miranda can do whatever she wants, he says, and oh she is, but for him: “Never. Comin’. Off.” Carrie is nicer to Steve than she’s ever been to anyone, sincerely telling him that he is a wonderful person, and please don’t close the door on meeting someone else FOREVER. He won’t budge, and that makes her realize she should probably at least try for a third date with Mr. Silver Fox.

Carrie and Seema walk down the street

I don’t want to hear another word about how Blanche Devereaux is eight years younger than me!

But it’s not just the main trio bringing their drama to the women’s shelter. All the women of color finally get to meet this week, as their respective white pals converge on Nya’s shelter. Seema comes with Carrie, who says she’s been told she can’t just be the white woman who writes a check. Seema says that she’ll be the brown woman who does just write a check, and will spend the day smoking and waiting patiently for Carrie to be done so they can go dancing. Lisa Todd Wexley arrives with Charlotte in a giant stretch limo with their kids, and then orders a whole fleet of food trucks to come serve everyone lunch. All the kids bum out Andre, who said he was okay with not being a dad but it just hurts his heart too much to see other people with children. Nya asks him to please not negate the miracle of them by pushing for children any more than he already has, but he really wants to be a dad. It’s very sad! I wish I could watch this show more often, then one where Nya and Lisa Todd Wexley and Seema live! I wish their entire existence wasn’t anchored to the white characters on the show! I wish Lisa Todd Wexley would bring me a whole block of food trucks!

Next week is the season finale. What if Samantha shows up? I know I’m being as delusional as a Miranda by even asking that — but what if.


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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 1355 articles for us.

15 Comments

  1. Heather I love your recaps so much, bless you for doing this!!

    I also do not understand Che and Miranda together at all. I honestly thought I was watching the wrong episode at one point. I was wondering where the scenes were where Miranda arrived in Cleveland and it went horribly. Because it should have, right?

    There is just one other thing we need to discuss. LTW’s outfit. Like a flak jacket – with cosmetics in it? Including a hairbrush on her shoulder? Such sweet madness I love it.

  2. I genuinely hate myself that I still watch this show. Since episode two, I’ve watched on mute and fixed my eyes to the subtitles because I can’t bear to listen or watch what unfolds, but I for some reason think it’s gonna get better? And it just gets worse?

    Like, seriously, can we talk about Cleveland? Why isn’t Steve deaf in this episode? The downstairs neighbor knows about Carrie and her podcast but not about her famously dead husband who Carrie literally wrote a book about? CAN WE TALK ABOUT CLEVELAND?!

    • RIGHT? Every other sentence from Carrie has been about her dead husband. “You want to be alone? I’M ALONE.” “You don’t have a period anymore? I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND ANYMORE.” So certainly that has come up on the podcast!

      I think this show is not good (expert analysis, real hot take) but I also wish there were a new episode of it every single day. It is astonishing.

      • “I think this show is not good…but I also wish there were a new episode of it every single day.” Yes this. And yeah Che and Miranda make no sense re skipping the Ohio disaster, but I am just too darn excited to see Sara Ramirez on screen, so I would like this all to please continue. Preferably with plot that makes more sense, but im here for it regardless.

        And Heather, thanks as always for the recap. Besides Sara Ramirez, I’m also enjoying seeing these characters – esp Carrie – engage with aging and your previous recap was a huge part of that

  3. Love these recaps (and the photo captions) and also here to say, it was Serena’s aunt (Lily’s sister) who hired an actor to play Serena’s cousin, Serena didn’t do the hiring! you know you love me, xoxo….

  4. this is such classic carrie, like, you KNOW that if Big had divorced her for a coworker of Steve’s, she would be showing up on his doorstep and ringing his doorbell in the middle of the night until he answered in his pajamas and then she would DEMAND answers from him, but when gently asked herself about the person his wife left him for, carrie is so startled she steps into the paint tin? lol. i couldn’t help but wonder if carrie has a bit of a double standard when it comes to confrontations.

  5. Am I the only one or does it seem like Miranda wears a slightly different wig every episode?

    Also, if something screamed at me in THAT Voice, as Miranda does to Che in the staircase, I would run. My insides crumbled. I am german and used to watch the old episodes in german on the tv, but now I watch everything in english and I was shocked at how annoying Cynthia Nixon can her voice make :D

  6. I like how Steve is miraculously back to his SATC self in this episode. I’d like to think it’s because before we only saw him through Miranda’s eyes and she was judging him whereas Carrie sees that he’s still the same person but that would be giving this show way more credit than I think it deserves.

    I also don’t understand how nobody on this show is going to mention that Miranda could be bisexual!! If they wanted Miranda and Nya to become friends they should have made Nya bisexual and have Miranda open up to her / come to her for advice and had them become newly single besties navigating the queer dating scene after Andre inevitably leaves her to have children. because at least then their friendship would make sense!

    also i don’t think enough attention was paid to Lisa’s outfit in this episode because honestly… iconic.

  7. The best part of the episode was when Anthony threw out the Holocaust-denier date.

    I try to take the pulse of the Zeitgeist when watching shows like this. I’m shamelessly devoted to AJLT, despite how cringe-worthy Che is. How does Sara Ramirez play this role without vomiting? It’s so contrived and “woke,” as if the writers had some composite queer person as an informant. For that matter, how does Cynthia Nixon stand playing Miranda, who acts so stupidly, when she with another woman in real life. It’s all very cartoonish, but worth it for the clothes and Heather Hogan’s recaps!!!!!

  8. Thank you Heather for these consistently excellent recaps!

    In other incongruous storyline news, remember last week when Che said they were “in love with” Miranda? And now they’re not even “dating”? What does that mean? Did the hopelessly confused Gen Q writers contribute to this episode?

    Also, I miss going to diners.

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