“And Just Like That” Miranda Is in Gay Love, Get Out of Her Way

Quick life tip from your lesbian dad Heather Hogan: If someone says to you “I’m a fucking narcissist!!!” and then chases that declaration with a request for you to follow them across the country, the answer is: NO. No no no no no! I don’t care if they look like Sara Ramirez. I don’t care if they sing like Sara Ramirez. I don’t care if they are so good in bed they make you forget your own name. Do not pursue a narcissist to a second location! (Honestly don’t seek them out at a first location either, but especially don’t add miles to it!) Miranda Hobbes apparently cannot hear me screaming this — or anything! — at her because that’s exactly what she decides to do in And Just Like That‘s season one finale.

See, Hollywood has called Che and told them that they’re the next Roseanne (WHAT) and so Hollywood has invited Che to make a pilot. They’re very excited, and so they have thrown themselves a going-away/celebration party, with even their grandmas in attendance. There’s a band. They perform “California Girls.” Everyone cheers at everything that comes out of their mouth, as usual. Miranda is as confused as Che’s family. She keeps asking them what is happening, and what is Che singing about, and what is a pilot, etc. But these women also don’t know. Miranda wonders, after Che’s performance, if, perhaps, they could have found a minute to maybe text Miranda this information; they did have time to find backup singers, after all. Che says “Blah blah yeah but what if you come with me to Los Angeles?”

It’s an automatic yes for Miranda.

Carrie in a flower print dress and Miranda in a red dress stand on opposite sides of a sink scowling at each other

Well Samantha was gay first, and don’t you forget that on your little cross-country trip.

Dr. Nya Wallace is bummed to hear it, not just because she and Andre are taking a little break to see if a baby that doesn’t exist is worth calling their relationship quits, and so she’d hoped to hang out with Miranda and her terrible son to reinforce her stalwart stance on not being a mom, but also because she wrote Miranda a glowing recommendation for an impossible-to-get internship and Miranda’s leaving that opportunity behind too. Carrie also cannot believe Miranda is abandoning her career dreams — and that she’d rather go sit in an audience and laugh at Che than come with her to Paris to scatter Big’s ashes — but Miranda just keeps hollering I’M IN LOVE I’M IN LOVE I’M IN LOVE every time someone tells her she is completely unrecognizable right now.

I don’t even really know what to say about it, at this point. I do believe it’s realistic for Miranda to behave like this because sometimes love and lust do make perfectly reasonable people go completely berserk, and Miranda has been waiting her whole life to realize she’s queer, and she’s been miserable for so long. But that doesn’t make this any easier to watch or any less of THE WORST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD! Miranda doesn’t know it yet, but she is VERY lucky she’s going to have good friends around to pick up the pieces of this MESS when it’s over.

How do I know it’s going to be a mess? Well, for starters, I still haven’t seen any proof these two know a single thing about each other. And there’s the way Che did a whole Broadway play about this unilateral decision they made about their fledgling relationship. And also because of the way they just… drop their entire podcast and the people co-starring and producing it because “it did what they wanted it to do.” I hope their pilot gets picked up? Do they know how many pilots don’t ever even see the light of day ’cause it’s almost all of them! Carrie’s fine with Che’s decision. She goes out playing the widow card one last time, and anyway, she’s richer than the Queen and for all the clowning I did on her writing career in the original series, she did hammer out an entire book about her dead husband less than a year after he died. That’s seriously impressive.

Carrie attends a wedding wearing a polka dot dress

I couldn’t help but wonder: Had I really wasted my last widow card on a podcast called X, Y, and Me?

Jackie is less fine with it, and he doesn’t even invite Che to his surprise pop-up wedding because of his hurt feelings. He does invite Hot Podcast Producer (HPP) Franklin, though, and he’s got an idea for Carrie. After staring at her lovingly from behind the glass all season, and waiting until she exhausted her supply of widow cards, he has decided she should do her own podcast. It’ll be a call-in show like Delilah, only instead of yacht rock love songs, it’ll be Carrie giving advice. He says, “I mean you’re great at it and also you could voiceover an entire TV show! You sound so nice in my ears!” He wants to be her solo HPP. She’s flattered, truly, and kind of shocked to realize that he is actually a very good looking fella.

First, though, she’s gotta figure out what in the woo-woo heck Big is doing inside her reading lamp. He keeps flipping it on and off in the most annoying way at the most inconvenient times! She takes it to the lamp store to get it fixed — ’cause this is NYC, and yeah, there’s lamp repair shops — and is kind of disappointed to find out it’s just a wire and not a ghost. But then! Even after it gets fixed! Big keeps messing with her! One night she’s like, “Blink if you can hear me.” And it doesn’t blink. And then, just as she’s given up and is trying to go to sleep, it does blink. And that’s how she knows it’s Big, because it’s being such a brat. Big’s brother invites her to lunch and tells her that since it’s been a year, he’s thinking of commandeering Big’s ashes and adding them to “the family crypt in Connecticut.” She really doesn’t want that, even if he can “squeeze Carrie in” now that he’s getting divorced.

Carrie in an orange dress with pink gloves

Hi, Big. It’s me. I spent one of the million dollars you left me in your will for the luggage up-charge to fly this dress here in my suitcase.

Finally, after a very nice but lackluster date with her widowed teacher buddy and his beautiful hair, Carrie decides it’s time to give Big’s ashes the home they deserve. She’s taking him to Paris to toss him into the Seine, which is surely illegal, but it’s time to move on. She wears the orangest dress with the pinkest gloves you have ever seen in your entire life. I don’t know anything about fashion, but everyone on Twitter loves this dress. It looks like a very tasty sherbet, or something one of my Animal Crossing villagers would wear while running around my island doing airplane arms. Carrie doesn’t do that. She simply goes to her bridge with her diamond-studded Eiffel Tower purse/columbarium, thinks about the finale of the original series and how Miranda chastised her for chasing love across the ocean and prioritizing romance over her career, and lays Big to rest.

Then she texts Samantha, who says that yes, she would like to meet Carrie for a cocktail tomorrow night. But off-screen because Samantha lives inside Carrie’s phone now the way Big lives inside her lamp. I hope Miranda comes back in a Diet Peach Snapple bottle.

Rabbi Jen in a schoolgirl outfit

Charlotte, I borrowed this outfit from one of your Madame Alexander dolls; I hope that was okay.

And that leaves us with Rock’s they-mitzvah, which Charlotte has been planning from basically the second Rock was born. Two rabbis have already quit on them, so it’s time to call in the greatest character of the entire season: Rabbi Jen (played pitch-perfectly by Hari Nef). When she shows up to work with Rock, she quickly realizes they have not been studying the Torah, like at all. They are not ready for their they-mitzvah, and even if they do it in English and try to distract everyone with Anthony’s sourdough challah, it’s going to be a disaster. Charlotte has pulled off bigger things than this through sheer force of will and smiling like a serial killer, so she insists they move forward. Rabbi Jen says that’s fine, but she’s got a wedding in Bushwick on the same day, so she’s gotta have a hard-out at 2pm. With that settled, Anthony takes away Rock’s PlayStation controller and tells them it’s time to learn to be the star of the show.

It seems like they’re going to go through with it, a full pink suit and pink sneakers on the big day, the whole place dressed like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory — but at the last minute, Rock tells Charlotte they don’t want ANY labels. They don’t want to be a girl, a boy, genderqueer, a Jew; they don’t even want to be a New Yorker. It’s this last thing that really sends Charlotte and Harry over the edge. They both gasp like their ship is glug-glug-glugging underwater and Charlotte almost needs to be born away to a fainting couch. Luckily LTW is there in one of her completely maniacal outfits to tell Charlotte that everyone who parents a teenager is barely keeping their head above water, and that it’s going to be okay.

Rock in a pink suit.

I don’t want to go to Jewish summer camp; I want to go to Rabbi Jen’s spin-off!

In the end, Charlotte simply takes over for Rock, with Rabbi Jen by her side. (This after Rabbi Jen emerges from a bathroom stall while Miranda and Carrie are having it out about Che and Paris, and tells them that she has pieced together what’s going on here, based on the context clues provided in their screeching, and while she understands these are hard things to deal with, Miranda and Carrie must protect their precious bond of friendship! They do what Rabbi Jen says, as we all should.)

And so, Charlotte becomes a woman. And Miranda turns her hair red again and follows Che to Hollywood. And Carrie starts her podcast, which is called Sex and the City, and smooches HPP Franklin in the elevator after the first episode is done.

The funniest thing about watching and recapping this series has been seeing straight people react so strongly to gay characters — “Miranda” has been trending nearly every single Friday — while gay people have mostly been trying to figure out where Lisa Todd Wexley got that safari jacket with the arm pocket for her hairbrush. Well, good news! For the bargain price of $1,275 — originally $2,500! — it can be yours. It even comes with the brush.

Miranda with her red hair again

I can’t believe I’m going to Hollywood with my gay lover and getting rid of my stupid son on the same day! What a win for Miranda Hobbes!

Thank you for reading these recaps, my friends. It’s been a hoot being out of recap retirement, and it’s all because of you. You made it so fun. May you find your own HPP, if you’re looking, or the safari jacket of your wildest dreams. You put whatever you want in that arm pocket, baby. You deserve it.

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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1718 articles for us.


  1. I haven’t even read your recap yet, but

    DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL LIKE CHE MEANT “Come visit for a weekend”????

    Because the entire time Miranda is blowing up her whole life, i can’t help but think how badly these two communicate and how in her crazy hyper anxiety, she never asks CLARIFYING QUESTIONS

    • YES. The fact that Miranda has not asked Che — a person who speaks in riddles and Instagram captions — a single follow-up question all season? MIRANDA HOBBES TOP LAWYER?? Come on!

    • honestly i kind of think we’re supposed to embrace the (extremely unrealistic) premise that Che is in love with Miranda and just doesn’t believe in putting labels on things, the same way Rock doesn’t believe in putting labels on things. So rather than it being a character choice that Che doesn’t want the same relationship that Miranda does, it’s a “this is how we think queer people behave” choice by the writers.

      honestly hoping i am wrong but I thought this thing was going to blow up like 100 other times and it has not, so

      • Okay, I could believe that as a writing choice. WordPress isn’t letting me “like” comments right now, but I loved Heather’s description that they speak in “riddles and Instagram captions.” LOL

  2. Honestly, it’s not surprising given how rich and spoiled they are, but Rock’s decision to flake the day of the mitzvah, after not even trying to study all that time came off as so bratty and inappropriate to me. As Heather described, the place is decked out like Willy Wonka, everyone’s already there, this is an important part of your heritage and your mom let you wear whatever you want (my mom would never!) AND found the coolest Rabbi in NYC? (my mom would never!). I’ve never liked Anthony more than when he takes the controller (excluding the scene last week when he screams at the Holocaust denier)

    I guess I’m using my awe at their behavior to distract me from how much Miranda has blown up her life and is truly the worst character, and IDK why she’s not getting more hate than Che, whose just a run-of-the-mill hot narcissist. Good on Dr. Wallace for writing Miranda a good recommendation, b/c now that she’s seen her flakiness, I doubt she’ll be writing her another!

    • Oh i was yelling at that kid nonstop. While it was ultimately sweet to see Charlotte get bat’d (I always like when she embraces her judaism) it was SO frustrating that they just caved to Rock’s whim!

      • when i saw in the preview that rock was gonna ditch the they mitzvah moments before it began i was abjectly horrified — like, buddy just get up there and do it, it takes 40 minutes, you’re also about to get a shit-ton of presents from your parents’ INCREDIBLY wealthy network of friends? everyone is here already! they booked this date three years ago! i don’t think a lot of 12-13 year olds, myself, included, got up there feeling like i was 100% in on what the ceremony represented. But I knew it meant a lot to my Mom. it felt like a weird direction from the writers too, portraying Rock’s discomfort with identity labels as something that would lead to a choice that selfish.

        i’m glad charlotte got bat mitzvahed instead because that was so heartwarming it overcame my ire.

        • i realize this is important in all of these ways but like did rock sign off on the rainbow yarmulkes and notecards and stuff? because if my parents organized an event this enormous entirely around the theme of my being part of the queer community as a barely-teen…i would actually fall into a crater of my own embarrassment and die? and i know the kids now are different but STILL? idk, maybe rock only just now saw the decor, lol

  3. Thank you so much for recapping and trying to make sense of this crazy whirlwind of a series. I truly don’t know how I would’ve survived this season without you.

    What I don’t understand about this show is how they were clearly writing Che to be fuckboi sling type of relationship but they also want us to be believe they’re also this great love of Miranda’s life. Last episode Che said they weren’t technically dating now they want Miranda to move across the country for them. It’s TLWGQ levels confusing.

    This show also conditioned me to cringe at anything Che Diaz does on stage that when they started singing I winced. Then I remembered, this is Tony award winning Sara Ramirez singing, why am I cringing? This show ruined Sara Ramirez singing and that’s unforgivable for me.

    I wanted gay Miranda, but I wanted cynical, blunt, take no shit gay Miranda. And I get that people change and your queer awakening can make even the most rational people act up, but this new Miranda just ain’t cute.

    • I agree with ALLLL of this. I too started to cringe when ache got on stage and then also remembered Sara Ramirez is a Broadway superstar. But then also – aren’t there better California songs they could have sung?!?!

      I’m so mad at this show for making me hate this “relationship”.

  4. What I realised while watching this finally, with the revelation that a year had passed since Ep1/2, is that they tried to cram too much story into 10 episodes. We are getting snippets of these women’s lives, but it has meant we missed on so many conversations that would have made some of the character writing make more sense. A lot of that time jump is accounted for by the montage time jump of Carrie writing her book, but after the first couple of episodes dealing with the whole Big situation, most episodes feel like they are still weeks apart.

    This is particularly true for the character of Che, although it reflects on Miranda’s arc a lot also. Che starts as a rather non-committal character who is sleeping their way through NY & LA, who couldn’t give Miranda the traditional fairytale life she expected. Miranda follows Che to Cleveland offscreen after leaving Steve, and we get no follow on from that, presumably because it has no bearing on the next ep’s storyline, and we end with Che declaring their love and asking Miranda to come to LA with them. Miranda’s confusion in that last episode reflects that of the audience – Che has been written so inconsistently, it feels like we can’t keep up with what they want.

    Miranda’s giddiness at these feelings that were stirring inside her after meeting Che felt honest and genuine. As much as I love Steve, I always felt the Miranda settled for him, simply due to the fact they had a child together. He is a nice guy, but I don’t necessarily think he and Miranda would have ended up together if Brady wasn’t in the picture. Miranda needs someone who can challenge her in healthy ways, and I think Che awakened a side of her that she had long forgotten. Most of her life has been about her career or her family. Che gave her something that was about her. I think if Che had been more available earlier in their relationship, Miranda’s school girl eagerness may have settled somewhat. But I think the finale is reminding us of that feeling of when that person you desire to be with finally says they want you too, nothing else matters. They say coming out, particularly later in life, is like having a second adolescence. Miranda’s arc reflects that.

    • Agreed. As cringe inducing as it is, Miranda is unfortunately behaving in a way that is pretty authentic. Sometimes you really do go off the deep end for someone who doesn’t deserve you and blow up your life and no one can tell you anything. I admit I watch because I want to see how this trainwreck ends and I hope Miranda meets a nice lady to start over with

    • Agree with all of this. The unclear and abrupt pacing of them trying to smush in so much time (a full, non-covid year!) doesn’t help them show all the relationship development off-screen. As you said, Che’s character has suffered a lot from that timeline contraction. Miranda’s actions are not unrealistic, just difficult to watch.

  5. oof that Che and Miranda stuff was painful, and I am truly confused about what we’re supposed to think, but appreciating all the plausible theories above.
    When there are queers on mostly-straight shows, I automatically want them to be likable! It feels vulnerable to have them be sooooo flawed, esp when the poly person is also screwing up communication…But, at the same time, I kinda love the representation of messy queers.

  6. Ok after this I promise I will stop talking I just have a lot of thoughts.

    As Amos said above Che’s character and their relationship with Miranda was so inconsistently written it truly just made this storyline that I was on board with make no sense. But now that I know that Miranda’s professor, Nya, was supposed to be the original love interest if that had anything to do with it. Cynthia Nixon saw Sara Ramirez and said “bring them to me” and honestly same.

    Che and Miranda never have any meaningful conversations on screen to make us believe that this is serious. Also, Miranda’s unhappiness in her life was something that really should’ve been explored more, and we got to see a glimpse of that when she had dinner with Nya.

    Nya is also someone that would challenge Miranda. They have a genuine connection with each other as two women later in life who aren’t quite happy with how things have played out. I also sensed it when Nya said that she wanted Miranda to be there with her when she was separating from her husband.

    IDK ever since I found out this information my mind has been flooded with the possibilities. I’m just wondering if Miranda’s storyline would’ve still been a hot mess or not. Maybe it still would’ve been who knows.

    Ok I’m don’t talking about this

  7. So I’ve never seen this show and I’ve never even watched the original Sex and the City – I just vaguely know the characters since it’s grown (like a fungus! :D) to be such an important part of general pop culture. But I’ve read all of these recaps and they have been a joy! I’m pretty sure ‘not watching the show and just reading the recaps’ is the absolute best way to consume this piece of media. Thanks Heather! :)

  8. At this point, I think it would have been far less painful if Miranda was killed off. Died by a stray bullet or of cancer. Because this horrific butchery of such an empowered character is beyond awful to watch.

    She meant so much to so many young women of my age. She was powerful, successful, pragmatic and loyal. Not this utter train wreck embodiment of a ditzy 14 year old in a 50 something body.

    Terrible, tacky god-awful series.

  9. I felt so vindicated bc the VERY first time they ever cut to that hot producer in the booth, back in the pilot, I knew he’d be a love interest because he was too good looking!

    The true bright spot in this ep was Rabbi Hari Nef. When she appeared it was like a brief flash of the original show’s comedy. Can we have a reboot where she is the Carrie of a group of 4 fun constantly brunching Ladies?

    These recaps give me life and honestly, so does the show itself in all its ridiculousness (that orange dress had me SCREAMING lol). I may medically need a season 2

  10. Probably an unpopular opinion but they should just recast Samantha in season 2. Yes everyone will be mad about it but frankly everyone is mad at this show already, it’ll get people talking, maybe Kim Cattrall will say something to add fuel to the fire which will just bring it more attention and people will tune in just to hatewatch.

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