A+ Roundtable: Our Orgasm Thoughts

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It’s actually not infrequently that we receive an A+ Advice Box question about orgasms. They are a hot topic, a topic of contention and confusion, sometimes joy and sometimes anguish! Folks feel all kinds of obligations to have them, to “give” them, to be able to orgasm in certain ways. There is even the phrase “achieve orgasm” which is really giving a lot of undue pressure here. Who said we had to hand out trophies? Worse, there's also the implication that we might not get a trophy. On the complete opposite end of the effort spectrum is “la petite mort.” Personally, I think that sounds like a nap. Anyway, words mean a lot! They can set expectations, but here, we’re all about taking those apart, taking deep breaths, and just letting ourselves be our beautiful queer selves, okay? As we at Autostraddle often say in one way or another in the sex advice we give — everyone’s experience is ultra personal and there really is n...

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