First I became a cloud-woman. Min had always liked watching them as a child, one of her only good memories from that period. I lifted up my skirts, let her lap up my water. Her mouth was covered in dew when I kissed her.

Mostly I had chalked my ambivalence up to stifling antidepressants and emotional avoidance. Was I gutted of desire or was this a case of under exposure? Or was I supposed to own my simpleton truth and scream from a cliff, “I just want to dim the lights and be pegged, goddamnit!”

I should’ve masturbated in the shower. I need to be pushed against a wall. She smells like the ocean.