It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.

My transgender wife and I are both people with a lot of serious challenges to face, and we chose to confront those challenges as a team. That’s not heroism. It’s love.

A mom turned to an internet message board to ask how she should handle the fact that her daughter is a lesbian and people actually responded and gave great advice. Then we wanted to give some advice, too.

Once upon a time I married a man, had kids, and realized I was a lesbian. Here’s what happened and what I wish somebody had told me at the time.