Results for: be the change
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How Black Queer and Trans Folks Can Get Involved in the Kink Community
In the hands of Black queer and trans folks, kink can be deeply healing and transformative.
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Sadomasochism & Mental Health: Boundaries
Kink is something that I can contextualize my life around, around eroticism generally, and that felt so at home in my brain. That I can have a container for a thing, that it is healthy to have a container for things.
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Needle Play Brings Me Back into My Body Over and Over Again
Editor’s Note: This essay includes descriptions of piercings with hypodermic needles and blood in a BDSM context and brief references to self-harm. Needles are an edge. They encompass many spheres and much stigma, reminding us that we’re flesh sacks filled with fluid a mere pinprick can pierce. IV drug users and those who are tattooed […]
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Sadomasochism & Mental Health: Self-Expression
“When I was diagnosed, and realizing how it affected me outside of the way that I eat, it’s these processes throughout my day or the way that my personality functions. It isn’t that disruptive, but having the framework helped. Finding kink, having the words for it, helped contextualize the sex that I like to have, the friendships that I like to have, the dynamics that I like to have and the relationships in general.”
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You Need Help: Getting Kinky On A Budget
You’re in luck — kinky sex requires nothing but two (or more) bodies and a little imagination.
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Bottoms Up: Ch-ch-changes
As my gender expression changes, so does who I’m attracted to.
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The Unique Grief of Ending a BDSM Relationship
Breaking up is hard to do, but what do we know about breakups between Dominant and submissive? This is a personal exploration of how grief settles when the collar comes off.
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How to Soundproof for Kinky Sex
If you want to make your sex or kink life a little quieter and a little more soundproof, here’s what you can try on your own.
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Queer Women and Leather: A Culture Clash That Has Nothing to Do With Veganism
An understanding of the leather community can help us co-exist, share spaces and celebrate all of the different ways to live queer lives.
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Shibari 101: Let’s Talk About Japanese Rope Bondage
Welcome to Shibari 101, your chance to learn the building blocks of Japanese rope bondage! Today, we’re talking about history, basics and safety.
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View From The Top: Five Favorite Protocols
Within D/s relationships specifically, protocols are explicit, negotiated with the needs and best interests of everyone in mind, subject to change based on reflection and consent.
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View From The Top: From Physical to Psychological
“But when we changed the game a little, and added just a few little things, our play soared to new mountain summits I hadn’t even known we could reach, or let alone want.”
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I’m a Submissive Brat and No, That’s Not a Contradiction
In my day-to-day life my brattiness shows up as snark and a tendency to play devil’s advocate. It wasn’t until I entered the BDSM scene five years ago that I learned to express it in new and unexpected ways.
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View From The Top: Where I’ve Been
Before any of my other sexuality identities, I was kinky.
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Bottoms Up: I Am Enough
I get it now. Hot toppy girls will like me just as I am or they won’t get to like me at all. I am good enough.
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View From The Top: The Thing About Sadism
I want to break things — holes, walls, people. I want to feel the begging in my pelvis and let it ignite the fire under me to burn bright up my spine and light up all my colors.
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Poly Pocket: Dreaming of a World With Less Fear, More Vulnerability As A Black Trans Queer Person
“I view polyamory as a structure that’s helpful in me decolonizing my love life and the way I view relationships. Having complete ownership of everything within the borders of my skin, and doing what I desire with it and with whom, is an incredible “fuck you” to the systems of oppression I seek to dismantle (and a fun one!).”
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A Balance In Subspace
Sometimes, being in kinky subspace opens old wounds from an abusive relationship — but sometimes, it can give you the power to close them.
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Bottoms Up: What Limits?
Sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but what if during the act, it did? What if all I focused on during sex was consent and pleasure?
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View From The Top: How Topping Taught Me Physics And Feminism
Trusting physics, trusting agency, trusting desire, and trusting the people I played with changed everything.