Results for: you need help
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The Soft Butch That Couldn’t (Or: I Got COVID-19 in March 2020 and Never Got Better)
Is a soft butch a soft butch if she can barely hold even herself together? Is a soft butch a soft butch without her swagger?
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I Have To Choose Between Being Disabled and Queer
In queer spaces, I cannot be disabled. In disability spaces, people ask if my spouse is my sister. I hope that someday I don’t have to choose.
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What Long COVID Taught Me About Mutual Aid
The same things I need in order to manage my Long COVID are the things we all need for the future we are creating: mutual aid, seasons of receiving along with our seasons of giving, self-care that is directly connected to community care, less work, body trust and disability justice.
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Why Discovering Your Trans Identity As A Disabled Person Can Be So Confusing
Society painted me as a burden, and undeserving of autonomy. I have taken that paintbrush and created a beautiful life where being disabled isn’t a bad thing.
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Asshole, Autistic and Other A-Words of My Love Life
Something was deeply wrong with me, something shameful. Turns out, the truth is more complicated.
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Why I’m Going To Run for Office
“I’m done putting my faith in well-meaning surrogates. That’s not enough now, and it never really was.”
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Why I’ve Decided to Let Myself Get Angry (Despite What Ableism Taught Me)
“I’m a Nice Person — I have one of those irrepressibly pleasant faces that makes people want to sit next to me on public transportation — but I can be nice and angry, I can be smart and angry, and I can be worth listening to and angry.”
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Telling Myself the Truth: 5 Strategies for Fighting Internalized Ableism
“…it’s still completely acceptable for disabled people to hate ourselves.”
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What I Want to Hear in Bed
That’s what’s tricky about disabled sexuality: most people, disabled or not or anyplace in between, have no idea how to discuss it. So fear of “saying the wrong thing” takes over instead and the problem feeds itself. We never talk about it because we don’t know how to start.
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On Vulnerability as a Disabled Person
I need to call my “vulnerability thing” what it was: ableism. Internalized, sure, and deliberately kept that way (like it would only cause harm if it got out), but all the same. It made itself at home in me without any right to be there. And it stayed for so long because it looked like other things: perfectionism, intelligence, work ethic, high standards.
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Tattoos and Disability: Surviving An Experience Not Everyone Can Handle
“I made a choice about how I would look, and didn’t realize until I’d done it how unprecedented that was.”
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“You’re Carrie, Y’Know?”: 7 Ways My Nondisabled Friends Get it Right
Because the world sure as hell isn’t telling me my body matters. And having nondisabled friends who do, who affirm me precisely for standing out, means I don’t have to accept pity masked as kindness.
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Everything Hurts All The Time
“I hated my body and punished it, and it hated me and punished me back. Is that what happened? That’s the thing about getting sick the way I got sick: nailing it down.”