Results for: be the change
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I Have To Choose Between Being Disabled and Queer
In queer spaces, I cannot be disabled. In disability spaces, people ask if my spouse is my sister. I hope that someday I don’t have to choose.
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As a Black, Fat, Disabled Person in Love, My Monogamy Feels Radical
For me, navigating polyamorous dynamics with white people is inherently taxing and painful as a Black person.
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Asshole, Autistic and Other A-Words of My Love Life
Something was deeply wrong with me, something shameful. Turns out, the truth is more complicated.
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What Long COVID Taught Me About Mutual Aid
The same things I need in order to manage my Long COVID are the things we all need for the future we are creating: mutual aid, seasons of receiving along with our seasons of giving, self-care that is directly connected to community care, less work, body trust and disability justice.
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14 Knuckles: Always A Fistee, Never A Fister
My acceptance of my own pain allows me to have the kind of sex that is rooted in the specificity of my body. I don’t love the idea that I’ll never fist, but I do love the idea that every act of sex I engage with is collaborative. Queerness reminds me that there is no standard way to fuck or live.
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Why I’m Going To Run for Office
“I’m done putting my faith in well-meaning surrogates. That’s not enough now, and it never really was.”
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Why I’ve Decided to Let Myself Get Angry (Despite What Ableism Taught Me)
“I’m a Nice Person — I have one of those irrepressibly pleasant faces that makes people want to sit next to me on public transportation — but I can be nice and angry, I can be smart and angry, and I can be worth listening to and angry.”
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What I Want to Hear in Bed
That’s what’s tricky about disabled sexuality: most people, disabled or not or anyplace in between, have no idea how to discuss it. So fear of “saying the wrong thing” takes over instead and the problem feeds itself. We never talk about it because we don’t know how to start.
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Sexts From My Sickbed: How I Learned to Love My Queer Sick Body by Getting Naked
“How could an incapacitated person feel let alone be sexy, I catch myself thinking. Now, when I have those thoughts, I take out my camera.”
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Tattoos and Disability: Surviving An Experience Not Everyone Can Handle
“I made a choice about how I would look, and didn’t realize until I’d done it how unprecedented that was.”
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“You’re Carrie, Y’Know?”: 7 Ways My Nondisabled Friends Get it Right
Because the world sure as hell isn’t telling me my body matters. And having nondisabled friends who do, who affirm me precisely for standing out, means I don’t have to accept pity masked as kindness.
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Unalterable: On Accepting Myself As A Queer Person With Dwarfism
“I am a person with restricted growth (or little person or person with dwarfism), and I am queer… I did not come out as queer until I was in my 30s. People asked me why it took so long… But the deeper answer is that accepting my disabled identity was necessary before I could accept my queer one, and for me this has been a long, hard fought struggle.”
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Everything Hurts All The Time
“I hated my body and punished it, and it hated me and punished me back. Is that what happened? That’s the thing about getting sick the way I got sick: nailing it down.”
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Misadventures in Queer Lady Dating While Disabled: It’s Not Me, It’s You
“Given the message of acceptance and sex positivity that the queer community so openly espouses, I was hopeful that I had finally found a niche where my sexuality would be respected and validated. To my dismay, passive discrimination was alive and well.”