5 Hinge Prompts To Hide How Unhinged You Are

I think we can all agree that Hinge is the most widely-used dating app for sapphic people. Bumble and its BFF bullshit is too triggering for lesbians; Tinder is still regarded as the vain, judgmental app; Lex is both too millennial and too Gen Z at the same time; and I have yet to hear any positive reviews of Taimi and HER. There is, of course, Feeld… if you’re into that kind of thing. But the fact remains that Hinge is a popular dating app for sapphic people of all expressions. What I really like about Hinge is the prompts feature, which allow me to get to know people before I swipe on them, and vice versa.

But what’s a dyke to do if all of my answers to prompts showcase just how unhinged I am? I mean, some of these really feel like they’re personally attacking me. For example:

A dream home must include

Okay so you want me to reveal that I’ve already located their childhood home on Zillow and memorized every single detail?

A friend’s review of me

Don’t you every fucking talk to my friends about me.

A quick rant about

I have never ranted quickly about anything in my life.

A shower thought I recently had

The combination of “shower” and “recently” is taking a lot of liberties here…

I’m convinced that

I caused 9/11 when I was in kindergarten. Is that what you want me to put on my dating profile?

See what I mean? Why are they setting me up for a disaster like that? Instead of conforming to these barbaric prompts, here are 5 Hinge prompts to hide how unhinged you are:

The most normal thing I’ve ever done is

Go to middle school.

I typically eat dinner

In the late afternoon or early evening.

My most middle-of-the-road opinion is

Lunch is a great meal.

My middle initial stands for

My middle name.

My favorite place to go grocery shopping is

The grocery store.

You see how you were able to learn so much about me, but not once were you worried that I’d be unhinged? I gave you so much fun information here to spark up a conversation and didn’t provide a single reason for you to screenshot my profile and send it to a group chat.

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motti

Motti (they/he) is a New York born and raised sorority girl turned writer, comedian, and content creator (whatever that means these days). Motti has been featured on We're Having Gay Sex Live, The Lesbian Agenda Show, Reductress Haha Wow! Live, the GayJoy Digest, and even played the role of "Real Life Lesbian" on Billy on the Street. In 2022, they wrote about how clit sucker toys are a scam, sweet gay revenge, chasing their dreams, and getting run over by a pick up truck in their now-abandoned newsletter Motti is An Attention Whore. Motti has a Masters in Public Administration and Local Government Management, you'd never know it from the shit they post online (see previous sentence), but occasionally he'll surprise you with his knowledge of civic engagement and electoral processes. They live in Brooklyn with their tuxedo cat, Bo, and their 20 houseplants.

motti has written 41 articles for us.

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