4 Outfits to Get Married In That Aren’t White Wedding Dresses

Remember that song you used to sing as kids? “Here comes the bride, all dressed in white…” Well, this generation it going to have to come up with a new version because that is just plain old outdated. From colorful dresses to rompers to pant suits, I am seeing a plethora of attire for the modern day bride.

Photo Copyright We Laugh We Love

Photo Copyright We Laugh We Love

Because LGBT couples often don’t feel tied to the religious meanings in wedding traditions (let’s be honest, how many virgins are getting married and wearing white to symbolize their purity these days?) they’re able to make the day truly about them as a couple! I definitely notice the most variety with brides versus grooms. It can seem daunting because there are so many options, but in reality, you get to decide how you want to look on one of the biggest days of your life. Slowly, we are breaking out of the gender norm mold and creating events that are reflections of us.

Rompers and Jumpsuits

Photo Copyright Lilian Haidar Photography

Photo Copyright Lilian Haidar Photography

Rompers and jumpsuits are making a comeback and they aren’t just for disco anymore (though they certainly can be). The great thing about these pieces is that they are versatile. They can be casual, dressy, femme, more masculine and you can absolutely wear them after the wedding! There is also a jumpsuit or romper to flatter pretty much any body type. The runways this spring were filled with every variation of jumpsuits and rompers. They are definitely a trend worth trying and they can be significantly more affordable than the average dress.

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Traditional Suit or Tux

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

Ten years ago, if a lesbian couple was getting married, it was likely that one of them (the groom,” duh) would be in an ill-fitting men’s suit. Likely purchased in the most awkward of manners. Today, there are a number of places that brides can turn for a dapper suit. Saint Harridan and Duchess Clothier are two places that work with any body type. So, if you’re masculine bodied and you want a more traditionally masculine cut, these are great places for you! Three piece suits are a classic choice, we love a good vest. And, a custom suit or tux will last you years to come.

Feminine-Cut Suit

Photo Copyright Mademoiselle Fiona

Photo Copyright Mademoiselle Fiona

Photo Copyright Bethany Michaela

Photo Copyright Bethany Michaela

On the contrary, if you want a suit with a more feminine feel, there are a vast number of places to turn so that you don’t look like a ’90s business lady. J.Crew always has great pieces as well as any department store. High end brands like Theory, Burberry Couture and Rachel Zoe almost always have chic suits that flatter.

Photo Copyright We Laugh We Love

Photo Copyright We Laugh We Love

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

Nontraditional Dresses

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

Photo Copyright Brookelyn Photography

If you’ve been dreaming about wearing a dress on their wedding day, we haven’t forgotten you! Yes, you can wear a dress and not look like a traditional bride! One of our favorite designers, Sarah Seven, had florals and crop top/skirt separates in their spring collection. We love how playful these options feel. Looking for a dress, but not sure about white? How about gold sequins? Many brides actually purchase bridesmaids dresses to have a colorful ensemble. Not only are bridesmaids dresses much cheaper, there are almost as many styles as there are for a traditional wedding dress, with an endless number of color choices.

We love when brides have fun with their wedding day garb! Have fun, this day is about you, dammit!

Kate Schaefer grew up in Minnesota & moved to New York City for college. While interning at Gothamist, Kate realized that there was a lack of wedding resources for the LGBTQ community. She decided to combine her love of online shopping with her desire for LGBTQ visibility by creating H&H Weddings!

Kate has written 2 articles for us.

109 Comments

    • It’s probably going to come down to details for you. If you’re attached to the idea of a dress, try going with something that is military/sailor inspired. You might find more flexibility with seperates though. The kilt idea sounds perfect, maybe paired with a formal vest. Otherwise, a pencil skirt with a blazer and vest might work, or potentially even some fancy capris and a feminine suit jacket (look for something called a peplum, it’s like a little skirt ruffle/bustle thing attached to the jacket).

  1. I just can’t stop thinking about Riese and Abby right now.

    But also, I wanted to add this dress that I recently found because I am OBSESSED and the rainbow bit is both nontraditional and pretty gay.

  2. While others have pictured the white dress they want since they were six, I’ve wondered what I’d wear. Not found a solution yet. These are seriously helping. (It does make me nervous despite not having anyone to marry yet.)

  3. I love a not-traditional dress. My dress is a fluffy white thing bc it was real cheap but gf is looking for something bright and it seems like there are lots of two-white-dress weddings but few white dress + other dress galleries out there. she has been sort of stressed about this, which I have been redirecting to “lets get tacos and see who has bought us plates”. She’ll wear something. I’m not worried.

  4. I’m all about floral dresses for weddings, especially white + lots and lots of colorful, embroidered floral. I don’t want a wedding, but I love the idea of a shorter version to wear for a trip to the courthouse. And it would need to have pockets. Maybe floral leggings and a white shirt? Or white leggings and a huipil. A variant of a huipil? (I do not look good in traditional huipils)

  5. Growing up I thought I would wear a dress… but now I’m not so sure. I want something “feminine” that is not a dress, and this jumpsuit idea sounds very appealing. I really like the jumpsuit in the Art Deco photo.

  6. This is great! A friend of mine is wearing a feminine cut suit to the rehearsal dinner and non traditional dress for the wedding. I have gotten progressively masculine over the years, but now that im settled into tomboy femme (emphasis tomboy) I think I want to do the same as her. I rarely wear dresses but I still kinda want one for my wedding if that ever happens. Love this and looking forward to check out H&H!

  7. So you say there is a jumpsuit for every body type. Care to elaborate/point me in the direction of more info? I was under the impression id have to be taller with longer legs to properly pull it off (whatever that is, but you get me).

  8. I have no idea what my partner and I are going to wear to our wedding. I am fairly femme, so I assume I will wear a dress of sorts, but I think traditional wedding gowns are a big scam. I’m not going to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a dress that I will wear once. It’s just ridiculous! So I will probably going a non-traditional dress route, but I still want it to look somewhat “wedding-y” and therein lies my problem.

    As for her, she is marginally butch-er than I am, but bristles at the idea of people assuming, if she wears a suit, that she is “the groom.” (There is no groom! That is the whole point of a lesbian wedding!) But she is also supremely uncomfortable in almost all dresses and laughs at the idea of a romper. So, it’s a conundrum. But this is still a helpful starting point!

  9. I was originally planning on wearing a femme-cut white tie and tails outfit to my weddding, but lately I’ve been more keen on a dress of some sort. Probably not a traditional wedding dress, though, since 1) it’s a masquerade ball, and 2) I need something I can dance comfortably in at high speed.

  10. This is helpful! My lady & I are taking the plunge next year & I have no idea what to wear. Formal wear is so stressful for me!
    I would consider a dress & would love a really feminine suit but I’m short & rotund & have no idea where to look. I just want to look good & be comfortable.

  11. Up until this very point right now I thought I’d get married in a white wedding dress one day eventually….but a romper. omg. a ROMPER. I could be so fly in a romper oh wow; time to rethink everything. (But also, a feminine cut suit could be so cute to the reception/party thing because I plan on being a complete diva and having at least one outfit change and really, who wants to dance in a formal gown? not this queer)

    • OH MY GOD I’ve always planned on wearing a dress when I’ve thought about these things, and I still really want to, but I love the idea of incorporating a wardrobe change with a femme suit as well. Wearing a suit to the reception sounds like a pretty perfect option.

      My plan at this point, when the time comes, is to buy a cute white dress that isn’t specifically a “wedding” dress, because wedding dresses are so ungodly expensive and I can’t really picture myself wearing one anyway. With the money I save doing that, I could probably get away with a suit, too.

  12. My grandma wore a blue pantsuit for her spring 1950 wedding and that fact gives me hope that someday she’ll get over her very few traditional ideas of marriage and welcome whoever I decide to marry.

    Also, there are so many beautiful people here holy cow

  13. I wore a longish sleeveless ivory lace dress that had a low back, and my wife wore a black sleeveless lace dress that had an empire waist and fell right above her knee. We got both of them on ModCloth for $90 each and we didn’t even need alterations. A++.

  14. Feminine cut suits (I call them femme tuxes) have been my favorite type of formal wear since I wore one to my sorority’s fall formal last year. I would love to have bridesmaids in femme tuxes if I got married and they were down for it–non traditional bride/groom/spouse outfits are incredible but a bridal party can also have so much variety!!

    P.S. I don’t think a wedding will actually be for me but if the website keeps posting articles about weddings I may be swayed

  15. Wow, this and the links you all shared prompted an unexpectedly long bout of daydreaming… I can’t decide how I feel about this whole marriage institution, I kinda thought I didn’t want it for myself but I’ve experienced a significant increase in sappy wedding feelings since June 26. Luckily I don’t have to decide anytime soon!

  16. You guys are almost making me second guess myself. I wore a white dress to my wedding, but it was knee-length (and no veil). I looked awesome (especially with my blue shoes, blue headband, blue nails, and blue bouquet), but every now and then I wonder if I should’ve gone more non-traditional…

    All of these pictures are amazing, by the way.

    • I think the fact that it was meaningful to you and you felt awesome is all that matters. Though I think a knee-length white dress teamed with lots of blue is actually kind of non-traditional anyway – it sounds like you made the white dress look your own :)

  17. Being genderfluid, with very different gender presentations from day to day, I spend wayyyyy too much time wondering what should be my wedding attire.

    Lately, I’ve been thinking about a tight forest-green pantsuit with a deep V-neck with a matching sequined veil/cape situation, kinda ‘Robin Hood meets Space Princess’.

    • We can’t get married yet. The law hasn’t changed here. But being a good bit older (in our mid 60’s) I’ve been looking hard to see what there is available. I checked out the mother of the bride looks too and some are pretty good, many though seem too formal and stiff looking.
      I think that we’ll end up in soft three piece slacks,tank, soft jacket type combo’s.
      Hope it’s soon though, we’ve been waiting nearly 40 years.

  18. I’m also entertaining the idea of getting a bridesmaid dress as a wedding dress, totally just because they’re cheaper and can still look like wedding dresses. They don’t really come with super puffy tulle ball gown skirts, though – and when else would I get to wear one of those?

    (Yeah, I am more in the traditional dress camp)

  19. My fiance and I are so into our wedding clothes and they are awesome! She got an amazing suit from Saint Harridans which looks so beautiful on her, and I got a vintage wedding dress from Goodwill which I am crocheting over in the only way I know how which is a weird chaotic spider web sort of situation. So we are traditional in the suit and white dress way, but with our own very personalized spin. Its all so fun and exciting! I’m gonna go work on my dress now cause its not done yet and we are getting married in a week and a half, okbye!

  20. Wow what gorgeous outfits and couples and humans!! <3 i myself would love something like a tux/suit. Ive been telling Christine for ages. Im not sure what she has decided on though. White isnt a bad option really but why be plain when you can splash color?

  21. When my wife and I got married, she wore a tight leather-look skater dress with studded-out boots, and I wore a gray hemp/linen button-down meant for old men on vacation, my patched black jeans and combat boots. It was amazing. We also wore matching black pleather dresses to our social/her surgery fundraiser, and it was trashy and amazing.

    Also, her brother and sister-in-law got married at the courthouse in Halloween costumes as a naughty nurse and sexy werewolf, respectively. All their witnesses also wore “sexy” Halloween costumes. I guess what I’m saying is I’m pro-trashy wedding.

  22. I just imagined Her and me in such a pretty outifits, and found it very heart warming. Maybe one day, when I grow up a little, I will start thinking of such a serious move. Just for the dress if I can get something super cute :)

  23. For someone who has little interest in getting married, I spend SO much time thinking about my ideal outfit and first dance song.

    I LOVE the blue jumpsuit – I’ve been watching loads of ABBA videos recently (combining my core interests of excellent pop, sequins and Agnetha) and that sheeny blue fabric is giving me a bit of a Waterloo vibe which can only be a good thing.

  24. I would love to wear a deep deep red dress. I think I’d looks better in that than on white.

    I am sooooo not about the purity dress tho. I’m glad we’re having these important discussions here on Autostraddle xD

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