21 Things You’ll See at Every Queer Halloween Party This Year

Illustrated by Anna Bongiovanni

1. Jillian Holtzmann making out with Jillian Holtzmann

2. Imperator Furiosa shotgunning a Modelo

3. Daria and Xena making nervous eye contact

4. Multiple of every Orphan Black clone

5. A Wonder Woman who is very excited to tell everyone that Wonder Woman is canonically queer, even though everyone already knows

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6. Harley Quinn flirting with Enchantress

7. Two Carol Airds arguing over the book vs. the movie

8. Therese standing patiently in a corner, waiting for one of the Carols to approach her

9. An army of resurrected Lexas

10. At least one resurrected Lexa who is very prepared to loudly discuss the ins and outs of the Bury Your Gays trope after a couple drinks

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11. A resurrected Barb getting wild on the dance floor after shotgunning with Furiosa

12. Peter Pan and Justin Bieber discussing gender theory

13. Marcia Clark ripping shots

14. So many witches (and yet there are never enough)

15. Piper and Alex from Orange Is The New Black because even though they aren’t even together on the show anymore, there will always be a white couple dressed as them at every queer Halloween party for the rest of eternity

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16. Marceline the Vampire Queen and Princess Bubblegum and Ruby and Sapphire tangled up in a group hug

17. Nyssa al Ghul and Katniss Everdeen comparing bows

18. Kara Danvers trying to avoid her ex, who happens to be Wonder Woman

19. Brienne of Tarth double-fisting two different IPAs

20. Dana Scullys lowkey checking out the other Dana Scullys

21. 11 Elevens on the dance floor


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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a Brooklyn-based writer, television critic, and comedian who spends most of her time over-analyzing queer subtext on television, singing "Take Me Or Leave Me" in public places, and assembling cheese platters. She has a cat named after Piper Halliwell from Charmed, and her go-to karaoke song is "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Her writing can also be found at The A.V. Club and The Hollywood Reporter, and she wrote the webseries Sidetrack. You can catch her screaming in all-caps about Kalinda Sharma, Jennifer Lopez, and oysters on Twitter and Instagram.

Kayla has written 123 articles for us.

62 Comments

  1. I wish I knew what I should be for Halloween. Either there are no role-models for me or I haven’t found them…can you help? I’m a dark skinned, overweight, curly haired, queer cis-woman. I have no sewing skills, moderate makeup-skills and fierce determination to find a good (queer) Halloween costume. I’ll learn to sew if that’s what it takes!

  2. “15. Piper and Alex from Orange Is The New Black because even though they aren’t even together on the show anymore, there will always be a white couple dressed as them at every queer Halloween party for the rest of eternity”

    S C R E A M I N G

  3. This is so damn cute. I need to go to a cool small queer spooky ass get together.
    (Also the shade thrown at the white couples dressed as Piper and Alex is hilarious as well as how cute the group hug that rubys and sapphires have with princess bubblegums and marcelines)

  4. i was a roller derby person which was pretty fun (i do not do roller derby in real life). i even made skates by wiring the wheels from my old skateboard onto a pair of soccer cleats, heheh. also drew a tattoo on my arm in eye liner. i made a poufy skirt from a non-poufy skirt, and wore b+w stripey tights to give it a halloween vibe.

  5. If you are were born in the early eighties and you watched alot of movies there is always Billie Jean from the legend of Billy Jean. Who just so happens to be the original Supergirl who now plays her mother.

  6. Halloween parties are (regretfully) not a thing here in Belgium. But I thought the whole idea of Halloween was to be scary? The only thing scaring me on this list is the Piper and Alex couple.

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