21 Things You’ll See at Every Queer Halloween Party This Year

Illustrated by Archie Bongiovanni

1. Jillian Holtzmann making out with Jillian Holtzmann

2. Imperator Furiosa shotgunning a Modelo

3. Daria and Xena making nervous eye contact

4. Multiple of every Orphan Black clone

5. A Wonder Woman who is very excited to tell everyone that Wonder Woman is canonically queer, even though everyone already knows

as-2

6. Harley Quinn flirting with Enchantress

7. Two Carol Airds arguing over the book vs. the movie

8. Therese standing patiently in a corner, waiting for one of the Carols to approach her

9. An army of resurrected Lexas

10. At least one resurrected Lexa who is very prepared to loudly discuss the ins and outs of the Bury Your Gays trope after a couple drinks

as-3

11. A resurrected Barb getting wild on the dance floor after shotgunning with Furiosa

12. Peter Pan and Justin Bieber discussing gender theory

13. Marcia Clark ripping shots

14. So many witches (and yet there are never enough)

15. Piper and Alex from Orange Is The New Black because even though they aren’t even together on the show anymore, there will always be a white couple dressed as them at every queer Halloween party for the rest of eternity

as-4

16. Marceline the Vampire Queen and Princess Bubblegum and Ruby and Sapphire tangled up in a group hug

17. Nyssa al Ghul and Katniss Everdeen comparing bows

18. Kara Danvers trying to avoid her ex, who happens to be Wonder Woman

19. Brienne of Tarth double-fisting two different IPAs

20. Dana Scullys lowkey checking out the other Dana Scullys

21. 11 Elevens on the dance floor

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 840 articles for us.

60 Comments

  1. I wish I knew what I should be for Halloween. Either there are no role-models for me or I haven’t found them…can you help? I’m a dark skinned, overweight, curly haired, queer cis-woman. I have no sewing skills, moderate makeup-skills and fierce determination to find a good (queer) Halloween costume. I’ll learn to sew if that’s what it takes!

    • There’s always Gina Torres as Zoe Washburn! Provided you have khaki pants and a brown leather(ish) jacket, you’re good to go.

    • also, ANYONE from hamilton!!! i’m maybe gonna be aaron burr? but also, so many options! it’s already race-flipped, why not gender also?

    • Garnet from Steven Universe! She’s a curvy, dark skinned, big haired super hero from space. She’s the most badass character on the show, and queer to boot! And if not her, Smokey Quartz also from that same show is also a badass, hilarious, dark skinned chubby super hero who’s probably also queer or genderqueer. One reason that show is so great, besides the fact that it’s the queerest show, is that all body types and gender presentations are represented and all the most badass super heros are women

  2. definitely made out with Katniss from movie 1, while dressed up as Katniss from movie 2 which was some type of major meta experience.

    this sounds like the best type of halloween party!

  3. “Brienne of Tarth double-fisting two different IPAs”

    I need an oil painting of this in my living room.

  4. “15. Piper and Alex from Orange Is The New Black because even though they aren’t even together on the show anymore, there will always be a white couple dressed as them at every queer Halloween party for the rest of eternity”

    S C R E A M I N G

  5. This is so damn cute. I need to go to a cool small queer spooky ass get together.
    (Also the shade thrown at the white couples dressed as Piper and Alex is hilarious as well as how cute the group hug that rubys and sapphires have with princess bubblegums and marcelines)

  6. Oh wow i just officially decided on being Daria yesterday, will deeeeefinitely be referencing this article if i see a cute Xena (or any other costume here honestly)

  7. Cries b/c I’m not going to this Halloween party (although I am hopefully hanging out with some queer gals!).

  8. Regardless of canon I feel like dressing up as Wonder Woman and wandering around saying “I’m gay” to people in rooms at parties would be a grade A way of coming out.

      • Hehe I so would! But I’m out to all my friends and I already have a costume: every year, for one day only, I assume my alter ego as a witch with ripped tights and fingerless gloves and an IDGAF attitude. :-D

  9. i was a roller derby person which was pretty fun (i do not do roller derby in real life). i even made skates by wiring the wheels from my old skateboard onto a pair of soccer cleats, heheh. also drew a tattoo on my arm in eye liner. i made a poufy skirt from a non-poufy skirt, and wore b+w stripey tights to give it a halloween vibe.

  10. I’d go to this party. True Story, a couple years ago I tried to dress as Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon, but everyone thought I was Xena. So I just went with it…

  11. I too want to be at the party, but you are telling us that there won’t be a Laura Jane Grace in running make up on her 4th beer?

  12. If you are were born in the early eighties and you watched alot of movies there is always Billie Jean from the legend of Billy Jean. Who just so happens to be the original Supergirl who now plays her mother.

  13. Halloween parties are (regretfully) not a thing here in Belgium. But I thought the whole idea of Halloween was to be scary? The only thing scaring me on this list is the Piper and Alex couple.

    • It’s a mish-mash holiday. Basically these days the point is fun. Doesn’t matter if it’s scary or not.

      • Oh okay. Thanks for clearing that up and good ! Because I don’t think I can take any more scariness from the US before November 8th.

  14. OH NO it was my secret plan to dress as holtzmann just so i could more easily make out with someone else dressed as holtzmann!!! you have discovered me! (or, i am just wildly unimaginative)

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