2012 Academy Awards Liveblog and Open Thread

Well here we are again at the Oscars. Did I see all the nominees this year? Nope. Not even close. But I gave it an awful good try. In case you forgot, these are some of the top nominees.

Best Picture:
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Actor:
Demian Bichir- A Better Life
George Clooney- The Descendants
Jean Dujardin- The Artist
Gary Oldman- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt- Moneyball

Actress:
Glenn Close- Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis- The Help
Rooney Mara- The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep- The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams- My Week With Marilyn

Supporting Actor:
Kenneth Branagh- My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill- Moneyball
Nick Nolte- Warrior
Christopher Plummer- Beginners
Max von Sydow- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

Supporting Actress:
Berenice Bejo- The Artist
Jessica Chastain- The Help
Melissa McCarthy- Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer- Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer- The Help

Directing:
Michel Hazanavicius- The Artist
Alexander Payne- The Descendants
Martin Scorsese- Hugo
Woody Allen- Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick- The Tree of Life

Adapted Screenplay:
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash- The Descendants
John Logan-Hugo
George Clooney, Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon- The Ides of March
Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin- Moneyball
Bridget O’Connor and Peter Straughan- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Original Screenplay:
Michel Hazanavicius- The Artist
Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig- Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor- Margin Call
Woody Allen- Midnight in Paris
Asghar Farhadi- A Separation

You can read the full list of nominees and some of my feelings from a few weeks ago here.

Preshow start at 7pm EST!

Preshow Redcarpet Fashion

Melissa McCarthy always looks so elegant at these things. Rose Byrne should have her hair in a long bob forever.

MELISSA MCCARTHY

ROSE BYRNE

Rooney Mara looks just a little bit like she attached a gown to the bottom of a bra from the 40s.

ROONEY MARA

Calling it right now: Jessica Chastain: Best Dressed.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Follow-up Question: Who is Jessica Chastain?

Oh Maya Rudolph. Maybe I should have given Up All Night a better shot.

MAYA RUDOLPH

Emma Stone is beautiful and amazing.

EMMA STONE


It’s not that I have a problem with what Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing, it’s just that I wonder if anyone else knows that she’s wearing a cape.

GWYNETH PALTROW


Meryl (we’re on a first name basis) is dressed like an Oscar to win an Oscar.

MERYL STREEP

My Oscars Team

ROOMMATE AND MAEVE (THE GREAT DANE PUPPY)

THIS EPISODE OF THE OSCARS IS PRESENTED TO YOU BY THE LETTERS W, I, N AND E

The Show

8:29pm: My clock says 8:29. Let’s get this show on the road.

8:35pm: Am I a sellout if I like Billy Crystal’s opening montage?

WHY OH WHY DID I VOLUNTEER TO DO THIS?!


8:40pm: Wait. That wasn’t the whole opening? Billy Crystal is… still opening the Osars? Well I suppose it’s still 1000 times better than James Franco and Anne Hathaway.

8:43pm: What on earth do I have to do to become a Celebrity Seat Filler?

8:44pm: Can we be honest about the fact that I couldn’t care less about the awards Tom Hanks is presenting? Can we be honest about the fact that I couldn’t care less about Tom Hanks?

Cinematography:

The Artist
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
WINNER: Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Art Direction:

The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
WINNER:Hugo
Midnight in Paris
War Horse

8:50pm:

8:54pm:
Me: Wait. What the hell was that movie montage about?
Roommate: Uh. Movies? Hash tag filler.
Dog: Woof

8:55pm: I love what they just did with the costume designers nominations. Such an important part of movies and soooo overlooked. Whatever I can be pretentious if I want to.

I JUST THINK THATS A WICKED COOL BACKGROUND

Costume:

Anonymous
WINNER: The Artist
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.

Excellent. Jane Eyre rocked.
**Update: Apparently Jane Eyre didn’t win. Apparently I just wanted it to so badly that I created an alternate universe where it did.

8:59pm: Is there a not-dumb way of saying that make-up is amazing? Also I can’t even handle how fucking funny that turn-pose joke fail was.

SOMETIMES JOKES DON'T LAND

Makeup:

Albert Nobbs
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
WINNER:The Iron Lady

9:02pm: The first movie I saw in theater… just kidding I don’t remember and this montage is too boring for me to even make one up. Um. Are movies doing really badly these days? Is this PSA for going to the movies?

9:04pm: YESSSS! A commercial. I really have to pee.

9:06pm: Just checking. The joke was that Sandra Bullock was just speaking in German?

Foreign Language Film:

Bullhead- Belgium
Footnote- Israel
In Darkness- Poland
Monsieur Lazhar- Canada
WINNER:A Separation- Iran

9:09pm: Where is Christian Bale from? Like I know “England” but I’m seriously confused by his accent. He’s dressed like black tie batman.

9:10pm: Oh. That’s who Jessica Chastain is.
Also I think that Melissa McCarthy just laughed at her own scene. Awesome.

9:13pm: FUCK YEAH OCTAVIA SPENCER

Supporting Actress:

Berenice Bejo- The Artist
Jessica Chastain- The Help
Melissa McCarthy- Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer- Albert Nobbs
WINNER: Octavia Spencer- The Help

9:17pm:
Roommate: So wait, Glenn Close plays a man in Albert Nobbs?
Me: Nah I think she’s supposed to be a woman
Roommate: No… I think she plays a man…
Me: No I think we just have no idea what this movie is about

9:20pm: This fake focus group is filled with actors who’s names I can’t place. This isn’t that funny.

9:20pm: There’s an impostor on stage. Someone offered the real Bradley Cooper candy to get in a van and now he’s tied up somewhere.

Film Editing:

The Artist
The Descendants
WINNER: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball

Sound Editing:

Drive
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
WINNER:Hugo
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

9:28pm:I sort of feel like Drive should have won. That being said it was the only one of these films I saw. I guess I have to see Hugo now.

9:29pm: 10,000 Galleons for anyone who can tell me the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing.

Sound Mixing:

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
WINNER: Hugo
Moneyball
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

9:34pm: Ms. Piggy has a lovely dress on. I think she borrowed that hairstyle from that episode of Gossip Girl where Serena is Blair’s maid of honor.

9:35pm: Meryl Streep was just so unimpressed with that popcorn gag.

9:38pm: I would never want to see Circ du Soleil on drugs because I would never want it to freak me out anymore than it already does.

9:40pm: Robert Downey Junior’s gag doesn’t hold up. It’s not “The Artistss” and The Descendants

9:40pm:

Documentary Feature

Hell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Pina
WINNER: Undefeated

Documentary bros just got wicked cut off by the STFU music. Still, let’s get real. I have not seen even one of these documentaries. I’ll watch them all on Netflix on a Tuesday.

9:48pm: THIS IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OSCARS

9:49pm: For the first time in my entire life, I’ve not seen a single movie in this category.

Animated Feature Film:

A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
WINNER:Rango

9:51pm: Seeing previews for Brave makes me super excited. Oh, not for the movie, but for my trip to Scotland. I mean, the movie too.

9:54pm: Emma Stone is perfect. Also she has like four inches on Ben Stiller. Also she can wear that dress every day for the rest of her life. Jonah Hill: #NotImpressed

9:56pm: I just absolutely teared up when they talked about the witches and goblins and visual effects of Harry Potter.

9:57pm:
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHO THE FUCK DIDN’T MAKE HARRY POTTER WIN. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SEND A MEMBER OF THE ACADEMY TO THE REAPING FOR NOT GIVING THIS TO HARRY POTTER. WHAAATTT.

When Hugo won I made a gasp so loud I woke the dog.

Visual Effects

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
WINNER: Hugo
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

10:03pm:
I want Jonah Hill to win best supporting actor just for playing such a different character.

Supporting Actor:

Kenneth Branagh- My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill- Moneyball
Nick Nolte- Warrior
WINNER: Christopher Plummer- Beginners
Max von Sydow- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

Christopher Plummer probably deserved that. Also his imdb just crashed. But I can tell you anyways he played the husband/dad in Sound of Music.

10:05pm:
Me: Can you imagine being named Ewan Mcgregor? Going your whole life being named Ewan? With Ew in your name?
Roommate: …Dude, I think it’s pronounced “Yew-an”
Dog: Woof

10:06pm: What are you doing April 4th? ‘Cause I’ll be sobbing my eyes out at the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking a.k.a. the day Titanic comes out in 3D.

10:07pm: FYI my roommate and I are playing the Screan Actor’s Guild drinking game. You drink every time someone says “Scorsese.”

10:10pm: Thank god they panned to that dog because this voice over bit with the actors in the audience is so boring.

10:14pm: Oscar Break!!! This is more important!!

10:15pm: I think we all know John Williams is going to win Best Score because he’s John Williams.

Original Score:

The Adventures of Tintin- John Williams
WINNER: The Artist- Ludovic Bource
Hugo- Howard Shore
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy- Alberto Iglesias
War Horse- John Williams

Guess not.
Roommate: Fuck The Artist
Me: Fuck The Artist
Roommate: I wish we’d seen it so we could more properly hate it
Dog: Woof

Sorry guys. Still haven’t made it through the trailer.

10:17pm: Wait. Are Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis seriously just smashing cymbals in Brangelina’s face? Is this a metaphor for their first time at the movies? I’m going to stop now because there’s no joke I can make as funny as Zach Galifianakis mispronouncing his own name. I have DVR and rewinded to watch it again.

THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU WEREN'T COOL ENOUGH TO BE IN THE BAND IN HIGH SCHOOL


10:20pm: Obviously Man or Muppet should win here. On a related note, are we seriously not going to get to see this performed live?

10:22pm:
Original Song:
WINNER: Man or Muppet from The Muppets- Bret McKenzie
Real in Rio from Rio-Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown and Siedah Garrett.

Until this very moment I really thought Jason Segel wrote Man or Muppet

10:26pm: Somehow, Angelina Jolie just doesn’t feel like the same person anymore.
I love that they’re showing the script below the images for Best Adapted Screenplay

10:29pm:

Adapted Screenplay:

WINNER: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash- The Descendants
John Logan-Hugo
George Clooney, Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon- The Ides of March
Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin- Moneyball
Bridget O’Connor and Peter Straughan- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Jim Rash is totally the dean on Community isn’t he. As a side note, The Ides of March was weird because the writing was so good and the acting was truly just terrible. Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual blew it for the team.

Midnight in Paris deserves 100% the win for best screenplay. Midnight in Paris. Midnight in Paris. Midnight in Paris.

Original Screenplay:

Michel Hazanavicius- The Artist
Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig- Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor- Margin Call
WINNER: Woody Allen- Midnight in Paris
Asghar Farhadi- A Separation

YES. That’s how we do it Woody style!

10:37pm: Sorry for the delay. This just crashed the server a little bit.

10:40pm: I’m really tired of everyone parading the women from Bridesmaids around like they’re the first funny women in the world.

VIA GFTREACTIONS.TUMBLR.COM


10:43pm:

Live Action Short Film:

Pentecost
Raju
WINNER:The Shore
Time Freak
Tuba Atlantic.

Documentary (short subject):

The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
God Is the Bigger Elvis
Incident in New Baghdad
WINNER: Saving Face
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

10:46pm: Guys, guys, guys. I actually watched all of the short animated films. Except La Luna which no one was allowed to watch. The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore deserves it by leaps and bounds.

Animated Short Film:

Dimanche/Sunday
WINNER:The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

Wow I can’t believe The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore actually beat Goliath a.k.a. La Luna a.k.a. Pixar. Win.

Also, my parents are really proud of me about the whole Weblog of the Year situation!

10:51pm:
They’re presenting for Directing. My biggest concern is whether we should open another bottle of wine.

10:55pm:
The Artists? Fuck the Artist. I hope nothing interesting happened during the acceptance speach because I used that time to use the bathroom.

Directing:

WINNER:Michel Hazanavicius- The Artist
Alexander Payne- The Descendants
Martin Scorsese- Hugo
Woody Allen- Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick- The Tree of Life

Also, for those waiting in suspense, we opened another bottle.

11:01pm: It took me an additional five minutes to figure out what exactly Oprah won and James Earl Jones won. Honorary Award type things.

11:03pm: I never ever ever ever want to watch the In Memoriam part of the show. Now that I’m old enough to know who they’re talking about it’s just sad.

But yo. Who is that biddie singing? ‘Cause she can Get It.

VIA THECOLOSUS.TUMBLR.COM


11:06pm: Is it disrespectful to wonder why thats the only picture of Steve Jobs anyone has?

11:07pm: Obviously that In Memoriam was just for the 2011 calendar year because it didn’t reference Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard.

11:13pm: I could not be more bored of the Magic of the Movies montages.

Also, apparently that was Esperanza Spalding. My bad.

11:18pm: Best actor is boring. The again, I’d watch Natalie Portman read the dictionary. Also Brad Pitt needs a haircut like nobody’s business.

11:20pm:

Actor:

Demian Bichir- A Better Life
George Clooney- The Descendants
WINNER:Jean Dujardin- The Artist
Gary Oldman- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt- Moneyball

I wish The Artist would stop winning things because I’m so so obviously never ever going to see it.

11:20pm: Carly speaks my feelings:

11:23pm: How is this still going on? I almost wish the creepy circus would come back. Can’t we just have John Williams conduct a few numbers?

11:25pm:
[re: Albert Nobbs]
Roommate: Wait. So wait. She’s pretending to be a man because she’s a lesbian or to be a business owner?
Me: Dude. We still haven’t seen the movie.

11:27pm: I think I just really like Colin Firth for no reason. Also Meryl Streep should be the leading lady in all films.

11:29pm:

Actress:

Glenn Close- Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis- The Help
Rooney Mara- The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
WINNER: Meryl Streep- The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams- My Week With Marilyn

Psyched to see Meryl Streep take it! She’s so amazing. I just want to take this moment to remind you guys about her overalls in Mama Mia!

Roommate: But you just know Glenn Close is thinking, “WHAT? But I played a woman playing a man!
Me: Or something.
Roommate: True. I guess we still don’t know.
Dog: Woof.

11:33pm: I’m rooting 100,000% for Midnight in Paris even though Woody isn’t even going to show up to collect. Don’t care. I actually, technically, legally seen Midnight in paris five times. Next time I really should just buy it for myself.

11:35pm: Seriously what’s my game plan here if The Artist or Hugo wins? Seriously.

11:36pm:Well I guess I’m going to have to make one.

Best Picture:

WINNER:The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

11:38pm: Gotta love that they brought the dog on stage.

11:40pm: So what did Team Oscar Liveblog think of tonight?

Roommate: No. I’m not going to take a picture with a sideways thumb in front of my face. I’m not having that on the internet.
Dog:
Me:

Alrighty. Well that was the Oscars. This shit was boring. I hope next year they can get Billy Crystal form 20 years ago to host.

Images via The Oscars Homepage unless otherwise specified
Before you go! 99.9% of our readers don't support Autostraddle. Still, it takes funding to keep this indie queer publication running every day. And the majority of our funding comes from readers like you. That's less than 1% of our readers who keep Autostraddle around for EVERYBODY. Will you join them?

Lizz is a consumer, lover and writer of all things pop culture and the Fashion/Style Editor at Autostraddle.com. She is also full time medical student at Brown University in Providence, RI. You can find her on the twitter, the tumblr or even on the instagram.

Lizz has written 261 articles for us.

130 Comments

  1. I hope Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy wins the documentary oscar. Her film (Saving Face) is about two women who are victims of acid-throwing; broadly, though, the film also shows how the Pakistani parliament came to pass a bill against acid violence. I haven’t seen all of it yet because it’s available god-knows-where, but I have seen clips and it’s amazing. Also, you guys, she’s also made a film called Transgenders: Pakistan’s Open Secret (saw clips from that too). She is really awesome, and everyone here in Pakistan is super proud of her and rooting for her.

  2. Her eyebrows are back, she has no discernible tattoos, no spiked hair, neither motorcycle nor gun, and probably doesn’t hack people in her spare time… but seeing Rooney Mara still makes my stomach feel funny in a a good way.

  3. My Oscar evening was slightly interrupted by a random text message from the Family Research Council, urging me to call my senator to find out their stance on life and family. While I know that, believe it or not, gay people actually care about things like life and family, I knew that the FRC was referring to protecting life and family from all of us scary queers. Anyway… ranted in an email and then caught Ellen’s cute JCP commercial. That lil victory cheered me back up. :)

  4. Why do you hate The Artist Riese? I’m not judging, I haven’t seen anything, much less half the trailer.

    Can’t believe The Descendants just won. That film was shit.

    Oh and FUCK YEAH Community Weblog of the Year!

  5. Nah, Whitney was included towards the beginning… Kinda curious. My wife pointed out that happened in 2012 but we’re assuming it’s for the 2011 awards season? Not sure on that but yeah, she was included. :)

  6. So upset I can’t watch the Oscars this year! I wanted to find a bar that was showing it because I don’t have a TV, but, alas, no bar… Also, I don’t mean that TV thing in a snotty way… I really wish I had a TV. Luckily, I can still get drunk and read this liveblog!
    Also, GO AUTOSTRADDLE!! Really the most important part of the night. Yaaaaaaaay!

  7. Hugo was better than Harry Potter epic ending part 2 by a loooong shot. Sorry, but it deserved that award.

    Also, what sense does it make to complain about a film you’ve never even seen? Watch it and then rip it apart. Don’t assume to know if it’s any good through the trailer or the advertising or who’s in it.
    No one likes it when someone reads a book by its cover.

    A good critic actually watches the film before condemning it.

  8. Meryl Streep win was awesome. I guess I liked it more because (yes, I am going to hell because of this next statement) I’m a Thatcher’s fangirl.

    Anyways and more important: congrats for the Bloggies! I’m proud of you all :D

  9. Albert Nobbs is about a woman who pretends to be a man in order to work/survive in 19th century Ireland. That it wasn’t nominated for best film defies all reason. I saw the film a week ago and I still keep thinking about the characters.

  10. As a huge fan of Albert Nobbs, you guys should really see it. The entire film is pretty much the queerest thing ever, involves two victorian butch ladies (being men, yeah, bc it was the 1800s) and a lesbian relationship :)

  11. Autostraddle for the WIN!!! Congrats team! I guess the unicorn slot machine that took all my monies in Vegas this weekend was sending the luck this way….or at least that’s what I’ll tell myself so I feel better about it.

  12. Feelings I need to share:

    My disappointment at The Artist winning has been completely flipped into insane joy after learning of AS’s hat-trick at The Weblog Awards!

    My rambling on and on about Autostraddle’s awesomeness, to virtually anyone who would listen, feels justified now.

    & on that note, tonight seems like a good night to celebrate with some whiskey.

    Congrats, AS Team!

  13. I didn’t watch the Oscars. I sat down with my dad to watch it, and when George Cloony kissed Billy Chrystal my dad said “That’s sick.” So I went and cried in the shower. I know neither one is really gay, and the scene had nothing to do with being gay, but if two men kissing makes my dad say “sick” is he ever going to come to my wedding? Will he want to have anything to do with kids I may have? My thought process might have read into it too much, but it really hurt my feelings. What sucks is I didn’t know how to tell him it hurt my feelings because I didn’t want to start an argument.

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