20 Recipes That Were Perfectly Healthy Until Bacon and Butter Came Along

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we ate figs.

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So after thirteen years of vegetarianism and an abrupt realization of my digestive issues, I had to cut bread and dairy out of my life forever. In lieu of something like a log of goat cheese and a baguette for dinner, I turned back to red meat, namely bacon, and quite a lot of it. Turns out red meat isn’t so great on the stomach either, but I discovered that being a carnivore really suits me. Actually, if I pretend hard enough that butter isn’t made from milk, I can imagine that my insides aren’t turning against me. So, in honor of my inability to maintain a healthy diet, here are 20 recipes that were perfectly healthy until they were blessed by bacon and/or butter.


1.Bacon Wrapped Avocado Fries

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2.Sweet Potato bites with Avocado and Bacon (Paleo and Gluten Free)

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Because avocado balances out the unhealthy stuff.


3.Bacon Wrapped Bananas

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Jeez can you imagine if you used sweet plantains instead? Can you imagine?


4.BLT Salad

Recently realized that if you add mayonnaise to any cold meat it automatically makes it a salad. Really complicates my whole outlook on healthy eating.

Recently realized that if you add mayonnaise to any cold meat it automatically makes it a salad. Really complicates my whole outlook on healthy eating.


5.Bacon and Brussel Sprout Hash

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This recipe was written for people following something called the KetoDiet. I dunno about all that, but this looks unbelievable.


6.Bacon Wrapped Dates with Balsamic Reduction

Classique.

Classique.


7.Best Potato Salad

Is this real life?

Is this real life?


8.Butter and Milk Boiled Corn

I want to kiss the person who invented this recipe. This is mad genius.

I want to kiss the person who invented this recipe. This is mad genius.


9.Homemade Honey Butter

 Because as far as I’m concerned honey is a health food.


Because as far as I’m concerned honey is a health food.


10.Bacon Roasted Corn

Is this taking it too far? One way to find out.

Is this taking it too far? One way to find out.


11.Bacon Jalapeño Deviled Eggs

Putting the devil in deviled eggs.

Putting the devil in deviled eggs.


12.Cheesy Bacon Hassleback Zucchini

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13.Bacon Wrapped Grilled Peaches with Balsamic Glaze

Of all the foods one could wrap in a smoky blanket of bacon, how id I not think of this before this foodie blog did?

Of all the foods one could wrap in a smoky blanket of bacon, how id I not think of this before this foodie blog did?


14.Prosciutto Wrapped Asparagus

Prosciutto, bacon’s suave european cousin.

Prosciutto, bacon’s suave european cousin.


15.Strawberry Poppy Bacon Chopped Salad

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16.Broccoli Salad with Bacon

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Forget cheesy broccoli, bacon is the new cheddah.


17.Blackberry, Bacon and Blue Cheese Salad

When in doubt, alliterate.

When in doubt, alliterate.


18.Quinoa and Kale Salad with Avocados, Apples and Bacon

I think this is actually still genuinely good for you.

I think this is actually still genuinely good for you.


19.Spring Quinoa Salad with Honey Lemon Vinaigrette

It’s not in the title but I promise it does have bacon. And peas! I seriously adore fresh peas. So damn cute!


20.Bacon and Brown Sugar Roasted Sweet Potato Salad

Personally there is way too much cooking involved to call this a salad.

Personally there is way too much cooking involved to call this a salad.


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Hannah Hodson

Hannah Hodson is a 22-year old Brooklyn-bred writer and actor. She graduated Hampshire College with a very valuable BA in Theatre and Black Studies. She currently resides in DUMBO, Brooklyn, where she admires the view while writing poetry about gentrification, climate change, race, class and other heavy stuff, but tries to keep a positive outlook on it all. She recently met Abbi and Ilana from Broad City (IRL), and has photos to prove it. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter, for her thoughts on Beyonce.

Hannah has written 36 articles for us.

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