18 New Slang Terms for “Lesbian” I Just Made Up

1. Pocket Pusher

2. Qwerty master

3. No Mangeles Clippers

4. Shoulder Pad

5. Home Manicurist

6. Butterfingers

7. Exclamation Points

8. Lost Pen Cap

9. Bind… James Bind

10. Pokewomen

11. Mashed gams

12. Broadband

13. Hashtags

14. Dine-and-dashers

15. Nipsee Hustle

16. Nail files

17. Toaster strudel

18. Rotary telephones

Add your own below and then let’s all agree to start using the best one.

Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 330 articles for us.

45 Comments

    • I wanna be the gay-ay-est,
      woman there ever was.
      To date them is my real test.
      To wife them is my cause.

      I will travel across the land,
      Searching far and wide.
      Each Pokewoman to understand
      The power that’s inside

      Pokewomen, (gotta date them all) its you and me
      I know its my destiny
      Pokewoman, oh, you’re my girl friend
      In a world we must defend

      Pokewomen, (gotta date them all) a heart so true
      Our courage will pull us through
      You teach me and I’ll teach you
      (Po-ke-wo-man!) Gotta catch ’em all

      *sung with utmost enthusiasm*

  1. This is TOO FREAKY! I was JUST reading a fanfiction from all the way back in 2012, and in it Brittany called Santana a toaster strudel. Like literally not even a minute ago I was reading this thing.

    • See here! I have proof!

      “Have fun freezing your asses off,” Santana called after us.

      “Good luck becoming a toaster strudel,” I shouted.

      “That doesn’t make any sense,” Santana called back.

      “Yes, it does.” It totally did. Because toaster strudels were delicious.

      – I’ll Teach You To Dance, Chapter 24 by monochromeheartbeat

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