18 New Slang Terms for “Lesbian” I Just Made Up

1. Pocket Pusher

2. Qwerty master

3. No Mangeles Clippers

4. Shoulder Pad

5. Home Manicurist

6. Butterfingers

7. Exclamation Points

8. Lost Pen Cap

9. Bind… James Bind

10. Pokewomen

11. Mashed gams

12. Broadband

13. Hashtags

14. Dine-and-dashers

15. Nipsee Hustle

16. Nail files

17. Toaster strudel

18. Rotary telephones

Add your own below and then let’s all agree to start using the best one.

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Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.


  1. Ha! I submit… Diva cuppers.

    But I would not object to being called a rotary telephone.

      • “Hey there sexy Button Masher, wanna come back to my rumble pad?”
        (said by no one ever, until the next time I get drunk and try to hit on the nearest cute nerd girl)

    • I wanna be the gay-ay-est,
      woman there ever was.
      To date them is my real test.
      To wife them is my cause.

      I will travel across the land,
      Searching far and wide.
      Each Pokewoman to understand
      The power that’s inside

      Pokewomen, (gotta date them all) its you and me
      I know its my destiny
      Pokewoman, oh, you’re my girl friend
      In a world we must defend

      Pokewomen, (gotta date them all) a heart so true
      Our courage will pull us through
      You teach me and I’ll teach you
      (Po-ke-wo-man!) Gotta catch ’em all

      *sung with utmost enthusiasm*

  2. Snapbackers
    Pita Pockets
    Hummus Hunnies (Sorry, I had Middle Eastern for lunch today)
    Foresters (Or Outbacks, Imprezas or any other Subaru vehicle)

  3. This is TOO FREAKY! I was JUST reading a fanfiction from all the way back in 2012, and in it Brittany called Santana a toaster strudel. Like literally not even a minute ago I was reading this thing.

    • See here! I have proof!

      “Have fun freezing your asses off,” Santana called after us.

      “Good luck becoming a toaster strudel,” I shouted.

      “That doesn’t make any sense,” Santana called back.

      “Yes, it does.” It totally did. Because toaster strudels were delicious.

      – I’ll Teach You To Dance, Chapter 24 by monochromeheartbeat

  4. Halifax Pagers
    Carpet Cleaners
    The softballers
    Pink Lunchers
    Pushing Portias
    (Bella)Swan Divers
    Kitty Sitters

  5. The elderly people in my family have coined the phrase ‘from the other side of the bus stop’ … LOL

  6. Kale fluffer

    Honey spelunker

    Touch typist


    French tip clipper

    Can-Do Camille

    Wet-nosed window washer


    • Love this.
      This one’s just a variation, how about Pussy Chatter? Perhaps better if you’re not from the US.

  7. I’ve just started saying “she plays roller derby” whether or not said lesbian actually does. Universally understood!

Comments are closed.