feature image via shutterstock
Imagining people naked as a way to get over your nerves is a terrible idea. First of all, what if that’s your end goal? Second, people you’re intimidated by don’t become less intimidating without clothing, if anything they become MORE THEIR TRUE SELVES. Third, we need things that could actually manifest in everyday life.
Instead, imagine them:
1. Angrily putting on sunglasses but then one lens is missing
2. Just neutrally putting on sunglasses but then one side slips so then they’re just hanging down by the one ear
3. Eating grapes with seeds and gumming the seeds out
4. Eating grapes with seeds and crunching right through the seeds like some kind of terrifying human owl breaking down bones to make a pellet
5. Accidentally saying “my apologize” instead of “my apologies” at a crucial moment
6. Attempting to get on too tall of a bike
7. Being really serious about something they’re working on and not realizing the pen they’re idly twirling is marking a large portion of their face
8. Underestimating the weight distribution on a pull out bed and being slowly retracted head-first into the mouth of the couch
9. Being disheartened and saying “that’s all rice” instead of “that’s alright”
10. Trying to flirt with someone and mid-compliment hitting that bubble-in-your-throat register
11. Doing a burpee
12. Googling “pigs with sunglasses”
13. Tweeting something they were trying to look up on Google
14. Sitting down in a chair they think is locked upright and in one swift movement going from bent knees to flat on their back
15. Getting really into Snake on a old Nokia
16. Fishing for that last bit of ice that seems stuck to the bottom of the glass only to have all of it release onto their face
17. Trying to manually deflate an air mattress and get it back in its bag
If these scenarios seem tame compared to the arsenal of damning imagery you could possibly think up, this is about leveling the playing field, not destroying everything you hold sacred. Besides, this list is foolproof. I’ve already imagined Angela Basset doing all of these things and now she’s on par with Harry, my neighbor who stares at me through the blinds every morning.
The possibilities to normalize someone you admire, have a crush on, or fear are inside all of us. As we proceed in the comments, remember going too light or too heavy with a scenario can be read as either adorable or resilient, and that only makes the person stronger. Good luck!