Until this week, the only thing I knew about the TV show Yellowstone is that Republicans fucking love it. I have guessed a few things from the commercials, such as: Kevin Costner is the prickish president of the Wild West, and the father/grandfather to a lot of dillholes in cowboy hats. There’s a bunch of horse-riding involved in Kevin Costner’s machinations. Another woman one time pulled a knife on whoever Piper Perabo is on the show. And I think there’s a prequel where Helen Mirren goes around pointing a shotgun at a lot of men, saying, “Get your ass outta here!” It’s the only show people from my hometown post about on Facebook, which says way more than any summary I could give you. This past week, especially, Yellowstone viewers have been in absolute hysterics on social media, screaming WOKE! WOKE! WOKE RUINING WOKERS! Which, of course means something gay happened.
I watched only the one episode, “The Dream Is Not Me,” because Yellowstone is like five seasons long — and so now here’s what I know: Kevin Costner is actually the governor of Montana and the patriarch of a cattle ranch. Piper Perabo is his love interest/antagonist. His assistant is named Clara, and he finds out she’s gay at the same time we do: when he peeps her kissing another woman, who’s wearing the most enormous lesbian belt buckle you have ever seen in your entire life, at the county fair. He’s not bothered by it, and actually uses their big gay public affection as an excuse to do some of his own boring straight public affection. I don’t even think the belt buckle girl has a name. Maybe I should give her one. Patty. No, Patti. Clara and Patti kiss in the background so Kevin Costner and Piper Perabo can kiss in the foreground (behind his cowboy hat).
So by my mathematical estimation, that’s 48 hours of Kevin Costner on a horse doing cow things, and two seconds of Clara and Patti smooching. Alas:
Even Yellowstone has gone woke, and gay!
Sellouts! 🖕
— Aubrey Huff (@aubrey_huff) December 20, 2022
🚨🚨Yellowstone has gone WOKE🚨🚨
— Shoegaze Socialist (@Fuzzy_DunIop) December 20, 2022
Disney ruined Willow, Yellowstone went woke, everything is woke. I’ve had enough of liberal bullshit. I’m rewatching the sopranos.
— Kenny Powers (@kennypowersok) December 22, 2022
I guess it was only a matter of time till @Taylorsherida0 gave in. How many great tv shows have you stopped watching due to the woke equality bs being forced into your living room? What’s next, 2 guys enjoying anal sex in a jail cell? @Yellowstone headed in the wrong direction
— RevT (@supracer71) December 25, 2022
@Yellowstone I don’t have a problem with two women want to kiss each other but why do you have to shove it in your face? What a turn off.
— Vito (@Vito772424) December 19, 2022
Even Yellowstone went gay, and woke!
— Y 🧂 (@doesntworse) December 26, 2022
Yellowstone is trying to go #woke They are feeling the audience out this season.
— Lori (@LoriLit30300097) December 24, 2022
One other thing I noticed during my one-episode watchalong is that Kevin Costner’s family are THE VILLAINS. I think maybe this show was already WOKE??? Either way, you can’t fight the moonlight. Good luck, Clara and Patti!
You can stream the first four seasons of Yellowstone on Peacock and the most recent season on Paramount+, which you probably know as the Star Trek/Good Fight app.
Well done on the Coyote Ugly reference.
Was just coming to the comments to say this and so glad to see you not only got here already, Natalie, but that it is literally the first comment. As it should be 😂
Thank you for your service Heather!
Keep your s*** in the closet.
I do keep my shoe in the closet?
Sir, may I suggest that if you can’t bring yourself to type a word out in its fullness you shouldn’t drop it in a comments section because you’re having a titty baby tantrum over two ladies kissing on your TV box?
I cannot begin to imagine how coddled your life has been if you get *this* upset about two seconds of ladies kissing on TV.
I think they might have already had a dead lesbian/bi lady played by Bones’s Michaela Conlin but I am not watching 5 seasons of cowboy dickery to confirm.
Shelly, I gotta be real with you, babe: this all caps tantrum makes me think you might want to rethink the claim “I’m not against gay people.”
Correct. “Bones” had a girlfriend but no longer since Jamie killed “bones”…… woke widow of sorts! 😜
Just a point of clarification. Season 5 Yellowstone is not on Paramount Plus, it’s on Paramount Network. Two separate entities. Also WOKE is not code for gay. Woke is in every aspect of social norms. Be Well
Real Americans will never be tRump supporters. They are ‘real’ traitors to America though. Move to Belarus Republican Jack offs. I will now enjoy the rest of my day thoroughly knowing you redneck Meatheads don’t like Yellowstone anymore.
No one tell RevT about Oz (1997-2003), I guess.
This is hilarious timing, as I finally gave in to my parents’ repeated extolling the virtues of Yellowstone like two weeks ago- I gave it a try, and I have to say I’m HOOKED. I told my parents that it’s literally the only non-gay-ass show I watch at all, but I guess I can’t keep saying that haha (altho xx above is right, Michaela Conlin’s ill-fated journalist in S1 does have a girlfriend).
Ooh, interesting. Say more. What do you like about it?
We’re to believe piper perabo (46) is the love interest of kevin costner (67)? *cue buffering the vampire slayer patriarchy jingle*
Do not like Piper much less the role she is playing. I don’t know what has happened to my tastes but l don’t enjoy this show like I first did. I do think they should get rid of Piper
Yellowstone might be the hottest show in red state america, but that has as much to do with how those watching the show interpret it. For example, when a tourist taking photos on the Dutton ranch tells John Dutton that “no one should own this much land” it didn’t seem to me that we, the viewers, were meant to disagree with this. So often, when I read articles about how it’s a “conservative” show they cite the super rich jerk Californians who are moving into Montana, but these people generally are jerks.
Mostly, it’s a western take on The Godfather. Not particularly well-written–the female characters in particular are just so one note–but this California progressive can’t stop watching.
I am from red state in middle America an other than property rights and a dislike for taxes not much is conservative about this show unless we are talking about the “conservation” aspect of “conservative” which is now the more liberal ideal. But the main characters are against pipelines, pro or at least not anti sex, the main female character everyone loves is a ball busting financier who had an abortion and the show doesn’t back down from showing the poor treatment of native populations or how laws “don’t apply to people who don’t live here” on reservations which leads to destruction and trafficking of indigenous women. I had never seen anything in popular media actually point out that truth about why indigenous women are more vulnerable than not. This show is how conservatives would like to see themselves but it’s not what the primary “conservative” party is anymore… train left that station a while ago- to Wyoming… after talking to red state conservatives for more than a few minutes a lot of them aren’t actually conservative. Just don’t tell them that
Wait, Piper isn’t the gay one?
It was so brief, that I, a southern gay person who watches Yellowstone, watched that episode live- with some straights, and we didnt even notice it? And this is the first I’ve heard about it. Go Clara!
If this really bothers anyone grow up and quit being a bitch,it’s 2023. We have bigger problems.
Yellowstone is not real and it does not depict real life in Montana . It’s a TV show that makes me puke because it bring brainless transplants to Big Sky country.
Oooh Heather you’ve done it again! Always so impressed w your ability to enfuriate The Mens™️! Teach me your ways
trash article written by a trash article righter. get a life
I guess I have to give up being a righter now. :(
the lefters would be very happy to have you, if that’s any consolation…
YOU CAN’T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT help I am giggling
Oh my God, he’s the governor of Montana now? When did that happened, I dropped the show somewhere in season 3 after the violent rape of the female lead.
The creator had this to say about the show being called a red state GOP propaganda.
While speaking to The Atlantic … Sheridan said: “They refer to it as ‘the conservative show’ or ‘the Republican show’ or ‘the red-state Game of Thrones, and I just sit back laughing.”
“I’m like, ‘Really?’ The show’s talking about the displacement of Native Americans and the way Native American women were treated and about corporate greed and the gentrification of the West, and land-grabbing. That’s a red-state show?”
Oh, interesting! I keep seeing references to this show, spin-offs/prequels in my face on streaming platforms, so I recently checked out the trailer for S1. I was *immediatel* put off by the narrative of the Duttons trying to “defend their land” from the local indigenous people trying to reclaim theirs. I just assumed the show was sympathetic to the protagonists in this, and basically said “what is this settler colonial bullshit?” and turned it off. But now I’m intrigued.
I do sometimes like a show where the anti-heroes get what’s coming to ’em, so I hope they take Yellowstone in that kind of direction. But maybe I’ll wait until they do?
Besides, I still have Reservation Dogs to catch up on!
“Either way, you can’t fight the moonlight. Good luck, Clara and Patti!”
LOLZ! Comment Award nomination to YOU, Heather.
[FYI: I love the SF Giants, past and present, more than my next heartbeat, but I wouldn’t piss on 2010 WS Champs Giants star Aubrey Huff if he were on fire. (He might secretly enjoy that.)]
hear me out:
Yellowstone is Succession but with cows
(And Succession is a much, much better show).
Done with that woke show
Oh this is to funny. I actually love this show, I’ve never been a republican. I must have missed this or didn’t notice.
Republican? Who cares! Not what it’s all about.
Missed the kissing scene
I am turned off to this and other subjects in this show. Lost interest.
Wow, an entirely original take! /s
Attention: @mods
Hey, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. Clara looks really hot on a horse and knows how to ride. And I’m a dyed in the wool lesberado coastal elite leftist and I adore Yellowstone. Watch 1883 and you’ll appreciate the antithesis of Little House on the Prairie.
Started watching this show bc my parents love it and I don’t know what I like about it but I can’t stop watching. There are lesbians in season 1 too! Either ep 5 or 6. Two women on vacation, one in a boat, one fly fishing, and one refers to the other as “babe.”
Um paramount+ is the NWSL app. How dare you.