Want to Break Up on TV? Ultimatum: Queer Love Season Two Is Casting!

Have you ever dreamed of moving into a camera-laced condo with a virtual stranger, calling that co-habitation ritual a “trial marriage,” and then using that experience to determine whether or not you are ready to marry the partner you were dating prior to this “experience,” while that partner is in a condo with a different stranger arguing about how much they do or do not love dogs??? Well have we got the thing for you!!! Netflix is currently casting for the next round of The Ultimatum: Queer Love! This is great news for us because that means there will be an Ultimatum: Queer Love Season Two — a show of mess and chaos that brought gifts into our life such as “Mal.” They’re looking for lesbians, queer women and non-binary people in relationships where one person is ready for marriage and the other person isn’t ready for marriage, but might be once they have to consider that their partner might fall in love with someone else!

All you have to do is fill out this 50+ question form, answering important queries such as “Do you wonder if the grass is greener with someone else?” and “How have you tried to improve your relationship? Have you seen a therapist? Please explain.” You’ll also need to provide links to all your social media handles. Nowhere on this form do they ask for our opinions on “Fingergate,” though, which is a missed opportunity.

the ultimatum queer love casting poster featuring an engagement rign box with a bomb fuse coming out of it. text reads: From the producers of love is blind and married at first sigh. Now casting the ultimatum queer love. have you and your partner been committed for a long time but haven't taken the next step? is your parnter ready to comit but you're dragging your feet? are you tired of being patient and ready to marry or move on? apply today! theultimatum.castingcrane.com

It’s important to note, should you be realistically considering auditioning for The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season Two, that you need to be able to take two full weeks off from work. It looks like they’re seeing if you have any major conflicts between February 12, 2024 and April 10, 2024, so if you’re ready to see if your relationship can stand the stressors of reality TV production, don’t schedule any vacations during those dates!

Sometimes, sometimes, deep in Nico’s conspiracy theorist brain, they think that shows like this a psy-op trying to get us as a collective to value monogamy and marriage and child-having. But who knows! All they know is that they watched the last season of The Ultimatum: Queer Love while going through a breakup and that was certainly a choice.

There’s no word on when the casting call closes, so get in there and apply, queers!

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Nico Hall

Nico Hall is a Team Writer for Autostraddle (formerly Autostraddle's A+ and Fundraising Director and For Them's Membership and Editorial Ops person.) They write nonfiction both creative — and the more straightforward variety, too, as well as fiction. They are currently at work on a secret longform project. Nico is also haunted. You can find them on Twitter and Instagram. Here's their website, too.

Nico has written 229 articles for us.

Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3223 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. “Sometimes, sometimes, deep in Nico’s conspiracy theorist brain, they think that shows like this a psy-op trying to get us as a collective to value monogamy and marriage and child-having.”

    Ha, I had the opposite reaction! To me the show made relationships look miserable and singleness look like the only good option. And I say this as someone who really wishes that I were not single!

  2. I do wonder if the grass is greener with someone else because my partner wants to live in the desert of New Mexico and I want to live in the woods of Oregon, do you think they are looking for something that literal???

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