Welcome back to your Twenties recap, episode 210, the Season Two finale 😭 — otherwise known as despite a season of buildup, Hattie’s going home with a rando, and also if you’re a Black girl with daddy abandonment issues you might cry (in this scenario, you are me).

Last week we didn’t have a recap because I’ve was sick (extremely related and maybe a little TMI but what is queer indie media for if not for these reminders: This week the New York Times ran a feature on the fact that Black women are 2-3 times more likely to suffer from uterine fibroids and I’m using my gift subscription on that link so you can read it for free), which just means we have a lot to catch up on!

Hattie’s dad is back in town and it’s extremely complicated (I love her phrasing of “he’s dropped back into my life” because as someone with an equally revolving door father, there’s really no better description). Hattie’s also still doing these flirty texts with Alicia? Or at least, Alicia is flirting. Hattie seems to be more… considering. We discovered that Big Sister Dear White People won’t leave Nia’s apartment because she has marital problems at home. Speaking of marriages, Marie and Chuck had an absolutely gorgeous, devastating, grown as fuck ending to their relationship that I wish I’d had the time to write about — I’ll try to fit some of that into this recap, but as its relates to last episode I’m really worried that this will be the end of our journey with Chuck and wow I hope that’s not the case.

Much like the Season One finale, which epically opened with Ida B. having a The Graduate themed dream that launched a year’s worth of yearning on my part, in the Season Two finale we once again open on a fantasy sequence. This time Reverend Ty Harmon is back, and they are marrying Hattie and Idina.

Siri play Oh Happy Day, but only the Sister Act 2 version.

WHHAAAAAT.

Girl, yes.

They are in matching off-white suits (Hattie’s has gold detailing) and even though I knew — I knew!! — it was dream, complete with VFX doves and Nia and Marie doing their best Little Shop of Horrors greek chorus in the background, I could not help but swoon.

I couldn’t help it, I say!! Black queer love is so beautiful. We are so damn beautiful.

Just as Idina says “I do,” Rev. Harmon’s voice begins to echo as the camera turns 180 degrees, Those VFX doves? They’re now crows literally shitting on Idina’s suit. Then there’s the unmissable opening beat of Bell Biv DeVoe as the church doors creak open on “that girl is poisonnnnnnnn.”

And of course, dressed in blood red to kill, Ida B. starts strutting down the aisle.

(My Narrator Voice: Did I scream? You know I did.)

Even in a dream, if anyone’s going to be marrying Hattie, it’s going to be her.

Dream-Idina says that Dream-Ida doesn’t get a say in their wedding, Dream-Ida scoffs because Ida gets a say in anything, in any universe (My Narrator Voice: She’s not wrong). And this will be surprising for what’s hands down the gayest scene in the episode, but the real MVPs are Nia and Marie, because look at these reaction shots!!

Much like Nicole Byer, they nailed it.

Hattie wakes up sweating, screaming Idina’s name, clearly afraid that Idina’s leaving her, only to find to Idina safely beside her in bed. (Side note: It’s important to me that you know Idina’s locks are wrapped in a do-rag and also that she’s perfect). Hattie tries to play it off like she was having a happy peaceful dream, but Idina already heard the screams so she’s skeptical.

Your honor, I just love them.

The next day, Hattie comes by to visit Marie at the house (who is packing up Chuck’s stuff!?!) and warns her that “ain’t shit out here” in these streets for single people. BIG Fucking Facts.

Hattie’s also keeping from Marie that Ida B. is calling her and Alicia is blowing up her texts, but Marie — finally paying attention to someone other than herself — can tell something’s off. She offers Hattie an opportunity to move back in, now that Chuck is leaving (Chuuuuuuuck come back!!!). Hattie accepts and tells Marie that her dad’s back in town.

Hattie leaves and Marie calls Nia right away, saying that they should all attend Hattie’s dad’s comedy show tonight for support. What is this? The core friends actually pulling up for each other?? All the way in the Season Two finale? Growth. We love to see it.

Speaking of being at Nia’s, you will never guess who is at her door. Oh that’s right, it’s Ida B. with the most flawless warm neutral face beat I’ve ever seen in my life.

Sigh. She’s mine. And Imma stick beside her. Imma stick beside her.

From this point forward, you need to know that when I originally took notes for this recap — I had assumed we were gearing up to a Hattie and Ida reunion at the end of the episode, mirroring the Season One Finale (we already got some allusion to that with the parallel opening dreams). I had assumed that if somehow not Ida, Hattie would end the episode with Alicia. From the minute Hattie’s Clap On/Clap Off Daddy swerved through town, I figured his role here was to highlight Hattie’s genetic predisposition to bad choices and cheating.

Of course neither of those very obvious and emotionally satisfying (RIP Idina’s broken heart) endings happen. Which means that this scene between Ida and Nia ends up feeling like we’re being strung along — and decidedly not in the sexy way.

Ida — y’all sit down for this one — Ida B. wants to apologize to Nia for how she acted. I don’t believe we’ve ever seen Ida apologize a day in her life, and while I want to applaud her growth (emotional growth? An appropriate theme for the finale episode, ask Marie and Nia) — I still haven’t forgotten when she was a literal femme horror show straight out of Basic Instinct like two episodes ago. So.

Nia correctly calls Ida on her shit, she’s an empath, not a fool. She knows that she got caught up as a pawn in Hattie and Ida’s dyke drama. True. Trueeee.

I have no idea what sorority this is (Delta Delta Dyke?) but I’m pledging.

Ida — were you sitting when I last warned you? then move on to floor, you will need to lie down — humbles herself and tells Nia that she thinks Nia is going to be a star. She wants to help her accomplish that now, and hands Nia a leading role in a script that I personally, with absolutely no proof whatsoever, believe is going to be Ida B.’s coming out story. (Ida: “I wrote something a while back, and I think I’m finally ready to put it into the world.”)

Nia will work with Ida, coincidentally and succinctly also wrapping up the “muse” plot that’s been following her for weeks, on the condition that Ida B. never lies to her again. Ida agrees to her terms and on her way out the door and outta my heart says, “Nia, please give Hattie my best.”

Look at this evidence! Look at the writing in front of us! How this doesn’t end with Ida B., on her way out of the closet and into Hattie’s arms is beyond me. But good for Idina, she (mostly) gets to live another day. She deserves.

Meanwhile Marie is circling back the block on Iman Shumpert — last recap of the year and I finally learned how to spell this man’s name right on the first try — now that she’s single. He reminds her that he ain’t one of her lil friends, and trust me. She knows.

An excellent time to tell you that Idina and Ida both made Autostraddle’s 2021 Favorite Characters End of Year List. We love excellence.

Ok so now everyone, literally, everyone — My Narrator Voice: Deep Breath! Hattie, Idina, Lauren the white ex-coworker /backslash/ roommate, the Black ex-coworker whose name I never learned but will be relevant in about 10 minutes, Marie, Nia, Big Sean the Don (what up Detroit), and Big Sister Dear White People — are all gathered together dearly beloved like it’s the opening lines of Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy” to watch Hattie’s Dad’s comedy show.

Hattie’s Dad made me so nervous at the beginning! He starts his Tight 10 with a riff about how young dreamers coming to Hollywood need to grow up and get a weird job, which felt like an obvious opening to dig at Hattie. Then he calls her a member of the “LGBTQIIA+ community” and my whole body seized, preparing for the worse (admittedly, I have my own Black Dad Baggage that I’m unpacking here).

That segues into a bit about how many hoes Hattie probably has running around — ok, to be fair, it’s a lot, she’s juggling something like four women in the episode alone — and how he’s got a lot of children running around out there that he doesn’t care to know, because he’s apparently never heard of safe sex. The entire crew looks ‘bout ready to box on Hattie’s behalf and Hattie’s face is defeated, her worse dreams realized.

— As an aside though, Jonica T. Gibbs? The best performance of her career in this episode. Watching her grow as Hattie has been a delight. —

At the last minute, Hattie’s Dad pivots. He tells the audience that Hattie’s already a better man than he’ll ever be.

The audience laughs. But it’s not a fucking joke.

After the show, Hattie introduces him to Idina, and he pretty respectfully (remember who we’re talking about here) comments on how pretty she is before telling Idina to take care of his baby girl. And yes I cried. And no we don’t have to talk about it.

Idina has to work early in the morning, so she kisses Hattie goodnight. The crew all breaks up for their various Season Three set ups and remember that Black ex-coworker whose name I didn’t know but said would become relevant? Yeah, she takes Hattie home.

Harpo, who dis woman?

What happened to any of the gays that they’ve been setting up Hattie to cheat on Idina with for the last four episodes? And how did this chick slide in under the finish line at the last minute? My friends, I! Do! Not! Know!

But that’s Twenties Season Two. Thanks for watching! And goodnight!

Post-Credit Notes:

+ My “i” and “t” keys are broken, but I can’t get it fixed until I’m on holigay break, so please be kind about typos and know I’m getting to them shortly

+ Lauren threw Hattie a goodbye party when she moved out, so I think it’s safe to say that every person on the show whose couch Hattie ever slept on can’t stand her

+ Hattie said that Idina is her first real relationship!! Nobody touch me! Nobody breathe!

+ Seriously though! JONICA THEE T. GIBBS, babbyyyy!!! AcTing!

+ Speaking of which, I did not give Christina Elmore her flowers enough this season, but she was magnificent navigating Marie

+ And speaking of Christina Elmore, I usually describe this show as oppressively straight, but out of respect for my homegirl — anyone have bets on if Lawrence gets with Condola or runs back to Issa in the last episodes of Insecure?

+ Amount of times I thought to myself that Idina would be a mistake I’d gladly make: 3 (the wedding suit, the do-rag, the promise to Hatte’s dad to take care of her)

+ Amount of times I thought to myself that Hattie would be a mistake I’d gladly make:  2 (the wedding suit, holding Idina in her arms)

+ Amount of times I thought to myself that Ida would be a mistake I’d gladly make: 2 (the opening chords of Poison, and all of that growth at Nia’s kitchen table)

+ Final Season Mistake Rankings

• Hattie: 12
• Idina: 5
• Ida: 5, but also there was one time when I just all caps said “ALL OF IT AND YES I WILL TAKE THIS TO MY THERAPIST” — which doesn’t have an official ranking, but you should know

+ Quote of the episode: No quote, just a reminder to BET directly that Twenties hasn’t been renewed yet and yes I am counting down your days!!!

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