“To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 310: Losing the Light and Also Our Damn Minds

Friends, we have come to the end of the road for our dearest Dana Fairbanks. In an episode that allegedly spans 45 minutes of time but definitely actually spanned a good 3-4 hours of time, we witness Shane and Carmen having a late afternoon fight, Bette yodeling in the countryside, Tanya having a baby so she’ll never have to be alone, Jenny having a lunatic lunch with Tim, Alice buying a sunshine flower toy, Tina having a heterosexual lunch with Henry’s friends, and in a refreshing breath of the freshest air, a surprise appearance by our very own PEGGY PEABODY! We hated every minute of it.

Tina is wearing a black blazer and a large tan purse on her shoulder. Her hair is straightened with a professional center part. She says, "I feel dressed up."

Bette, with her back to the camera, is walking down a dirt path in the woods, with a light dusting of snow. She raises both arms in the air and yells, "Whoo-hoo!" as she leaves her silent retreat. Bette continues her happy dance down a snow-dusted dirt path. She continues to yell, "Whoo-whoop-whoop!"

Carmen is sitting with her computer at a table in Shane and Jenny's house. She is wearing a white sweater and her headphones are hanging around her neck. Shane is looking over her shoulder and says, "I didn't know you were into classical music."

Jenny is standing in a parking lot, her bangs overgrown over her eyes. She is wearing a white blouse under a black vest. She says to Tim (who is wearing a red track jacket and his back is to the camera), "He's a pre-op transsexual" referring to Max.

Tim (wearing a red t-shirt under a red track jacket) stands next to Max (wearing a blue button-up) and opposite of Jenny (whose back is to the camera) in a parking lot. Tim is looking blankly at Jenny, and Max is looking embarrassed and off into the distance.

Carmen is wearing a white sweater and standing in Shane and Jenny's living room. Her hair is messily falling out of her pony tail. From the TV, a voice says, "I'm still working on the Ouija Board, and--"

Shane (wearing a blue tank top) looks back over her shoulder at Carmen (whose back is to the camera). Shane asks, "Robin Howard?"

Bette (wearing a purple shirt under a long brown jacket) is carrying a duffle bag as she walks happily down a lightly snowy road as she continues to leave her silent retreat. The subtitles show that she is "[shouting and yodeling]"

Bette continues on her walk, but has now advanced to "[roaring]". She has a pained look on her face.

A dude wearing a green knit hat and an army green jacket sits on a wooden bench at a bus stop. He says, "She was just screaming her head off," referring to Bette.

Tim (wearing a red t-shirt) and Max (wearing a blue button-up) stand at an outdoor bar. Max asks, "You work out?"

Jenny is wearing a floral dress and a purse on her shoulder. She says to Tim's wife (off camera), "Tim told me that they have the best hot dogs here in L.A."

A bald man in a full suit looks back over his shoulder at an old chunky TV on a rolly cart. On the TV is a blurry video of Helena and Dylan in their bras. Through the TV Helena says, "You're going to fuck me."

Peggy Peabody sits at the head of a board room table, wearing a black blazer. She says to Dylan's lawyer, "Have you seduced many women in your life, Mr. Shepard?"

Tonya is wearing a brown top and sitting outside with Alice (whose head is to the camera). Tonya says, "I could have been Mrs. Dana Fairbanks."

Max (wearing a blue button-up) is sitting at an outdoor table with Jenny, Tim, and his wife (who are all off screen). Tim asks Jenny, "What private thoughts are you having?"

Bette sits in between two strangers at a bus stop. On her right is an older woman with white hair and wearing a black coat. On her left is a guy with a green knit hat and green jacket. The woman says to Bette, "I used to drink glasses of water"

An older man (wearing a brown plaid shirt) and woman (wearing a pink sweater set) approach Tina and Henry at a restaurant. The woman says, "My husband and I have been sitting watching you" An older man (wearing a brown plaid shirt) and woman (wearing a pink sweater set) approach Tina and Henry at a restaurant. The woman says, "My husband and I have been sitting watching you, but you two have the most gorgeous family."

Henry's friend (a generic white guy in a black sweater) is sitting next to Henry at a restaurant. His friend says to him, "Uh, Jimbo called me about basketball next week."

Peggy Peabody sits at the head of a conference table, holding a stack of papers and wearing a black blazer with blue trim. She says to Dylan's lawyer, "This is a documentary, not Finding fucking Nemo"

Bette sits on a bus. A white guy in a green knit hat (who waited at the bus stop with her) is looking over her shoulder. He says, "Don't forget to scream."

Angus (wearing a maroon t-shirt over a grey long sleeve shirt) and Kit (wearing all black) lay in bed facing each other. The subtitles read, "[Monitor flatlining]" referring to what is happening in Dana's hospital room at the same moment.

Max (wearing a blue button-up) is driving and looks over seriously at Jenny (off camera). The subtitles read, "300 Amiodarone, please," referring to what is happening in Dana's hospital room at that moment."

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Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2896 articles for us.


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