“The Morning Show” Gets Hacked, Dyke Drama Ensues

Let us not waste a moment here, after such a cliffhanger! I am sure this will be a tension packed 10 to 15 minutes, filled with a lot of last minute teamwork from Bradley, Jon Hamm, and Cory as they figure out…oh, never mind. The feed is back! WHEW. I mean, I get why everyone was stressed, but are you telling me we had zero backup plan for the thing that happens to me at least once on month via Zoom? Never change, The Morning Show. I beg you!

Unfortunately, it seems like I am the only one who is understanding of tech issues as they apply to space, because Jon Hamm is furious this transmission error made his rocket seem unsafe. The deal, I am afraid, is in jeopardy. Other things in jeopardy? Alex Levy’s very life tbh! Fine, maybe not her life, but certainly her continued employment at uba. She cannot keep running away last minute from her job, and even her peace offering meal in her giant penthouse with Holland Taylor will not save her!

Jennifer Aniston and Hlland Taylor at a dining table in Alex Levy's apartment on The Morning Show

What do I have to do to go to this dinner??

Alas, Alex will be forced to be on TMS five days a week until upfronts to pay for her space flop. Thems the breaks girlie! Adding some additional salt in the wound is her deeply upsetting discovery that Chip and her assistant, Bisexual Isabella, have been dating for a YEAR? First of all, what? Second, what? Thirdly, HUH? It should be noted that Alex catches them about to fuck in her home office! Come on! Have some COUTH! Alex responds to this bombshell by cracking open her emergency freezer Stoli and then crying with joy and offering to take them to dinner? Methinks Madam Levy is a touch on the edge!

But that is merely the season arc tale that is playing out in the background. The main plot today, my friends, is HACKING. Yes, we have gone to space, and now we are going to THE HACK. Bradley is on TMS with Alex and Christina, chatting about her victory in space, when suddenly, the prompters go out. And the doors to the control room lock, and their ID cards won’t work. And then their phones don’t work. And then the lights go out. It’s honestly well done, very tense and nervy stuff here!

Talent is swept away to Alex’s dressing room by Chip — well, Christina and Alex are. Bradley, possessing even less sense than usual is like I gotta figure this out with you! They walk directly into the elevator and go up, like absolute fools! I watched this episode with a living room of hooting and hollering homosexuals, and one of them yelled “DON’T GET ON AN ELEVATOR THIS IS A SYSTEMS ISSUE.”  Bradley and Chip immediately get stuck on the elevator. I could not make this up if I tried. The only good thing those dummies do is create a space where Christina gets a nice little bit of character development! She calls her husband and talks to her daughter, and when she hangs up, she gets to cuddle Alex. Good for you girl!

Nicole Beharie and Jennifer Aniston snuggling in the dark on The Morning Show

Alex comforting a black woman named Christina…could be me!

Pretty quickly, the hackers…de-hack? Or are..un-hacked? Personally, I am unclear on the mechanisms there, but lest you think the drama is over! The hackers have a looooot of confidential documents. Salary negotiations and emails and board room notes, it’s a mess. And it’s the worst mess for Bradley, because the hackers have her nudes. Specifically, a sexy video she sent to Laura while they were living on her gay ass ranch in Montana. A lot to love about the latter half of that sentence, a lot to hate in the former, tbh. The hackers want a ransom, and Cory has to call the Lesbian in the News, Laura Peterson, to have a meeting, along with Bradley and Stella. As Stella is explaining what happened, Cory gets another message — it’s the hackers, playing a recording of the meeting they are actively having. It’s actually quite spooooky! Bradley, bless her, throws up.

Reese Witherspoon, Billy Crudup, Julianna Margulies, and Greta Lee standing in a board room on The Morning Show

The three horseman of the apocalypse

Laura tries to comfort her, saying all the right things, like “you were violated,” but Bradley wants to be alone. Also, they still don’t really have chemistry, despite Laura wearing a vest and pleated pants. Reese, I cannot help you if you do not help yourself!! Cory has already managed to spin the hack into uba making some brave statement on democracy or something and will not pay the ransom. That is, until Bradley comes to see him and is like REMEMBER THE PLEDGE WE MADE IN THE DARK MOONLIGHT? YOUR WILL IS MINE FOR THE NEXT YEAR AND A DAY AND YOU WILL DO MY BIDDING. Or she intimates that she has something on him from the bathtub/sink footage. It’s definitely one of those two things. Holland Taylor, of course, will NOT be paying any hackers. A ransom fee for hackers that could be connected to Russia?? Paying Russia 50 million dollars? She will not do it! She’s right, that would be terrrrible for the brand, if it got out. Bradley goes to Alex, will she help? “Did you fuck a predator?” Our Saint of Cancellation, Alex Levy, asks. “I think you’ll be fine.” Welp, someone is all set with sisterhood for the day! Even Mia and her handsome (boyfriend? husband?) who is in the Ukraine (?) doing…something (???) can’t help. Once again, uba’s mess is out for the world to see. Sure hope this doesn’t have any major repercussions!

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Christina Tucker

Christina Tucker is writer and podcaster living in Philadelphia. Find her on Twitter or Instagram!

Christina has written 286 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. Have these people learned nothing from literally catering to this woman for 20 years? She will go rogue! She’ll go rogue just for the sake of it anytime she wants, and leaving her in the dark about your little plan is a sure way to make her spiral. Holland Taylor is right about literally everything, but also, she’s playing with fire. Alex will just go wild if she feels no one is on her side, she has no coping mechanisms whatsoever.

    I appreciate that we got to see Laura again, and I’m also very happy with her calling her ex’s ex-situationship to go comfort her. Very lesbian of her. Great writing.

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