Welcome back to our second to last installment of “Gay Things That Happened On The Morning Show”! Our Girlfriends In the News only share one scene together this week, but they have a rather eventful few days, so let’s dive right on in!
Bradley Jackson: Family Drama and Hard Hitting Interviews!
Bradley is in her hotel room with her Plot Device as he apologizes for being high and making a scene in her place of employment. He says he only did it because “what she did hurt him so much,” because he is not a very nice Plot Device. He does agree to go to rehab, and Bradley sighs, clearly exhausted and over it.
At work, Alex pops in on Bradly to tell her that she is quitting the day before Maggie Brener’s book comes out, but she will bravely do her job for the like, week and half beforehand. Alex kind of apologizes for the whole “disappearing after the debate” and being a garbage person. She does truly seems sorry to have squandered her relationship with Bradley, but is looking forward to doing the show on Monday!
But alas, Bradley will not be in on Monday, she has to take Plot Device to rehab. Laura was going to cover, so maybe Alex should wait till Tuesday to return? No, Alex is professional now, and she will do her job with Bradley’s girlfriend, hard no feelings at all. It is slightly funny that Alex doesn’t mention that Laura and Bradley are dating? Or the whole “being outed in Groucho Marx glasses”? But she IS sorry about Plot Device going to rehab, she really is. Bradley suggests they should get drink soon, they haven’t really spoken in a while and maybe Bradley was a bit too harsh on Alex before. Ummm she wasn’t, Alex has been a garbage coworker and person, but she does look very beautiful and I, much like Bradley, am deeply invested in stunning older women liking me. Alex seems touched by this offer, but warns Bradley that she will Be Cancelled soon and a relationship with her could be deadly. It’s strange to think about how little they have interacted all season. Is this like, the third or fourth time? Maybe?? Weird!
When Bradley drops off Plot Device at the Best Rehab Ever, he tries to convince her to go to Disney, or maybe Cooperstown? Those are wildly different experiences, but the point is that he would like to do anything other than rehab, tbh. Bradley looks understandably exhausted, and takes this moment to tell him that after he gets out of rehab, she can’t see him anymore. Again, taking the spirit of Laura’s advice, but perhaps not the letter of it! I think it would probably have been more effective to let him think whatever he wants right now, just to get him in the door, and then perhaps spend sometime with a therapist who could teach her how to communicate and enforce boundaries?
Plot Device does not handle this well, he threatens to take the money she gives him to buy more drugs and overdose. A very cool and not at all manipulative tactic! Bradley has heard this from Plot Device before, and she can’t do this with him anymore. He’s an adult, he can go in or not, he can get clean or not, but she won’t make that call for him. She wants him to get better, but if he doesn’t, that’s not her responsibility anymore. Again, she is right to say this! She just needs a bit of help with the delivery and like timing. She drives away, leaving her plot device behind, unburdened….FOR NOW.
When Bradley returns to New York, she is given the opportunity of a lifetime— interviewing Maggie Brener about her new book. Instead of condemning Alex like everyone expects, Bradley takes a rather surprising tack. Why, she wonders, does so much of Maggie’s book focus on Alex and Mitch’s consensual affair? There were so many other terrible things Mitch and the network did, why the laser focus on Alex? Maggie pushes back, she literally says “Okay, you wanna go there?” Which is, to be clear, very hot and Marcia Gay Harden looks incredible. She brings up the whole “Alex terrorizing her in her hotel room hotel room in Vegas” moment, and while Bradley is obviously surprised by this, she recovers enough to say that what she hears in this story is a woman in pain, begging to keep her private life out of a bestselling book. Maggie is taken aback, and for the first time, speechless. “Who is the worst person you ever slept with Maggie?” Bradley asks, casually. Maggie does not say Alex, but you know that is my personal fanfiction theory. The interview ends, and Bradley has saved Alex from cancellation! History was made today, folks.
Laura Peterson and Alex Levy: Are The Girls Making Up?
Laura finds Alex on Monday morning to check in and make sure they’ll be professionals, no matter how they feel about each other personally. Alex assures her they will, and honestly, they are kind of great together on air! Alex asks Laura to set her up for a story from the weekend, they banter about COVID— can you believe it’s real? I mean…. Alex, you were very literally just in Italy? So… Yes? Should be your answer? I think the story Alex wanted Laura to set her up for was Mayor Pete dropping out of the Presidential race and endorsing Biden, which feels like a story they both would have prepped for, but whatever! Then Dr. Bottum comes is back to tell the frenemies that washing your hands is very important, and they “make up” a song about TMS to sing as they wash their hands. It is very cheesy but also very appropriate for a morning show.
Alex pops by Laura’s dressing room after the show to discuss the fact that Laura is dating her ex girlfriend. No, sorry, that was fanfic again, what Alex really wants to say is this: “Do you remember that night when a bunch of us went to see Bring In Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk?” I am levitating due to the simple act of hearing Jennifer Aniston say those words, but Laura is as perplexed as we all are at this sudden trip down memory lane. It feels important to note that Alex mentions Maggie was there, just so we can all take a moment to think about Marcia Gay Harden at a Bring In Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk concert. The point Alex is desperately trying to make is this: Why doesn’t Laura like her? One day they were friends and one day Laura didn’t speak to her! She can’t for THE LIFE of her figure out why! This is probably a good time to remind you all that earlier in the season Laura tells Bradley that she thinks Alex was the one to out her to Your Day America, the morning show she used to work on, and the one she was fired from for being gay.
Laura asks if Alex remembers what was going on her with at that time, and Alex does! She remembers Laura needed some space from everyone, but it seems like what Laura really needed was a friend. Of course, Alex immediately tries to walk back their closeness, because she is history’s greatest monster. But it doesn’t matter, because Laura knows the real reason Alex hung out with her and all her friends “that summer.” Alex is offended by this insinuation, and then Laura lays out her theory about Alex outing her, except it’s all phrased very vaguely in terms like “you knew what was going on with me.” Alex does admit to gossiping about her, but also says that everyone was gossiping about Laura and her gayness. “Gossip seemed so much less vicious back then,” Alex sighs. Laura points out that it wasn’t, it was just not gossip about her—yet.
Alex wishes they had cleared the air sooner, despite the fact that she probably would have denied that she was gossiping back then. Either way, she really enjoyed doing the show with Laura today. And not for nothing, it would have been fun to be friends over the last few years. For once, Alex sounds like she means something she is saying—probably due to the fact that she is taking inventory of her life and she has quite literally no one around her. Laura admits she said shit about Alex too, and Alex seems both amused and kind of touched. I feel like this half admission is letting Alex off the hook a bit easy, but I absolutely believe that the subject of Laura being in the closet would have been HOT gossip among The Community (of Journalists), I just wish the show had committed a bit more to one or the other? Also, am I high or does Jen have better chemistry with Julianna than Reese does?
Girlfriends in News, Reunited!
Who else would Bradley celebrate her interview victory with but Laura? They’re in Bradley’s hotel room, I guess its just like…fine that they got outed? I mean, the Mitch story is big enough to knock their shit outta the press, and Laura isn’t co-hosting anymore, so I guess it’s all just gravy? Laura is wearing a negligee type thing and I want her to (redacted). The point is, Laura does have a heart condition, one that means she will be staying at her Montana ranch for a month or two during this whole COVID thing. Would Bradley come stay with her? I am actually hyperventilating thinking about a third season set partially at some green screened ranch with Laura in a cowboy boot. But wait, Bradley is on TV five days a week, how would that even work??? “Give it up. For me. I don’t like it when my woman works.” Laura deadpans. Bradley asks if she’s serious, and Laura starts laughing. She has a studio on the ranch, because of corse she does. No, not about work! Bradley says, self consciously. “Am I your woman?”
Yes? If she wants to be? They smile at each other, before leaning in for their second on screen kiss. They have more chemistry here, but the first kiss was hotter? Hotter is a very generous reading, by the way, because nothing is like, really hot on this show, aside from the streaks of white blond in Jen’s hair and Juliana’s many gay outfits. Their make out is interrupted by a knock on the door, and it’s the bell hop, coming to drop off a mysterious envelope FILLED with cash. BUM BUM BUM!! Who is paying Bradley off??? And for….what??
As ever, I will be here to update you and guide you through any and all gay moments that happen this season! And if you like, you can read my old school, Television Without Pity style recaps via my (free) newsletter, Chaos, It’s The New Cocaine where I am bravely recapping every episode in painstaking detail, yes, even the straight stuff.