Welcome to the sixth recap of the second season of The L Word: Generation Q, brought to you by the same network that brought you the original L Word, a show that finally lifted the curtain on second wave feminism’s best kept secret: that Gloria Steinem was close personal friends with Bette Porter’s Dad.

Episode 206, “Love Shack,” is definitely my favorite episode of the season and perhaps of the entire series! Some parts were a little messy and time remains a flat circle, but boi did I enjoy myself!


We begin our journey today on a gentle pathway full of exercisers, including our very own Micah and Dani, who are pausing their joint fitness adventure to discuss more important matters: namely, that CEO Dani is attempting to make her Dad’s company ethical and that MICAH HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN.

Dani: I thought you were gay!
Micah: Same, me too!
Dani: And I thought I was special!

Micah and Dani pausing their run to talk
Come on man just toss a junior mint into my mouth it’s NBD

Dani’s got lots of questions like: 1. Was it weird that it’s my ex-fiancee’s sister? 2. Was she better than me? Then Micah relays that somehow, he’s not spoken to Maribel in an entire week?!?

Let’s pause here to imagine a scenario in which you bang your go-to person (go-to-person /ˌɡō ˈto͞o/ˈpərs(ə)n/ :  noun: INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN / 1. the person you text most frequently, 2. the person who would drive behind you to the car dealership to give you a ride home after you drop your car off, pick you up from surgery or have dinner with your Mom when she’s in town, 3. often a romantic partner, but not necessarily; can also be a family member or best friend) and then, afterwards, your communication goes immediately radio silent for A FULL WEEK. WHAT?!

If I were Micah I would be in the process of changing my name and putting a deposit down on a mansion in North Dakota.

Dani making a hand gesture towards Micah, outside running
DID YOU GO “HONK HONK” AND THEN SQUEEZE HER BOOBS REALLY TIGHT LIKE THIS

Furthermore, Dani says she’s been having a “pseudo-sexual friendship with Gigi” and, like so many of us, thinks about Gigi all the time. Micah wants to meet Gigi but Dani’s nervous to be In Community with their friends, particularly Sophie and Finley. Micah explains that, as established by the OCCUPY DANA’S movement, she can’t let those two kiddos own the space she’s also entitled to occupy.

“I mean, I don’t think I’d punch Finley again,” Dani ponders, “But it’s possible.”


YO HO HO It’s the ALOCE SHOW for me! Alice emerges from an enormous plastic bubble to chat with her new Bestie, Sophie. They’re bonding over their messy post-breakup lives: Alice didn’t cry in the shower today, Sophie’s not seen Finley in a week, and Alice might ask Tom to join her at the lesbian bar for karaoke night.

Inviting a straight cis man to a lesbian karaoke night in which the main players involved in 5+ queer romantic storylines will certainly be present is a great way to test whether or not your boyfriend is interested in spending eternity in what Bette Porter famously called “this little incestuous hotbed of lesbian fucking inter-connectedness.”

Alice in a flower blazer backstage
Could you just take a quick glance at the back of these $500 pants and let me know if my period started early

And thus we go gently into the good karoake night at the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, where we will remain for some time! Finley’s been taking the train to tuna town with Brit all week. “I don’t know if I’m gonna marry them or anything.” Finley says of Brit, which I believe is our first acknowledgment of they/them pronouns existing on this program, “But they’re nice, they’re fun, and I feel like I’m finally moving on from Sophie, you know?”

Tess pointing a mic at Finley
You’re playing a VERY dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen

Finley spots Sophie across the room — Sophie who she somehow! Has not seen! In a week! Although they live in the same apartment! — as Sophie slips into a booth with our new intergenerational friend group of fuck-ups.

Alice: I just sent Tom a you know, a casual text.
Shane: Good.
Alice: You know, I haven’t heard back.
Shane: What’d you text?
Alice: “Thinking of you”?
[everybody groans]
Sophie: Oh, honey…

Sophie now spots Finley, and Alice says now’s her chance to talk to Finley about, I am assuming, her interest in making #Sinley official. “Please no drama tonight,” says Shane. Nobody cares how much drama you want tonight Shane!!!!!!

Sophie and maribel at the table
Okay I have a new segment idea. It’s called “L Word” and everybody says an L Word at the same time so you can’t hear anybody saying it

“Just say thinking of you when you go over there,” Alice tells an en-route-to-Finley Sophie. “It really works.”

Bette ROLLS UP into the booth with peak Mommi energy and a playful demeanor that is jarringly warm. (Don’t worry she’s got plenty of time left to go cold!) She’s just done her vocal warmups in the car and is ready to perform!

Bette with her mouth open
LOOK at my new WRIST TATTOO it’s a BUTTERFLY

Bette laments that ALL she does all day is chase people down. Shane delivers a sick burn: “Who are you chasing? Because I know it’s not Gigi.” It’s ARTISTS, Shane! Bette is an Art Hunter. She chases rebels and disruptors but nobody wants to show at her problematic gallery. For example: Pippa. Bette testifies that Pippa is …. everything. (She does not disclose that she volunteered to cut out her heart for Pippa in the very same episode where she flipped out at her daughter wanting to cut out her kidney for another noted artist, Marcus Allenwood.)

Alice commiserates that she is also trying to bone someone she works with, but Bette insists this is not about boning, it’s just about work. I think we all can agree that Bette is lying and it’s definitely about boning.

Speaking of people who are not boning, Sophie’s attempt to help Finley with microphone cords turns into full-blown lesbian hand sex. Like nobody can breathe and the only parts of their bodies they are aware of are the parts that are touching? The agony and the ecstasy is PALPABLE.

intertwined hands
This is how lesbians have sex

This highly erotic handplay is giving Sophie butterflies while Finley attempts to refuse the energy radiating in her direction, and eventually it must be asked — is Finley avoiding her? “No, of course not,” Finley says, unable to maintain standing posture.

Finley holding a mike stand
Just take the mike. Speak truth to power.

Finley escapes to the back to complain to Tess that Sophie’s hitting on her which’s bad! Because now Finley is sweating and she didn’t wear deodorant today.

Jamie looking hot in her dress in the back
Let me give you some free advice: when it’s really hot and you’re sweating and you’re wearing three layers, two of which are zipped/unzipped in a way that truly boggles the mind, simply remove a layer
Finley talking to tess
I’m not sure that I follow…

Finley: She just came in and sort of like, started hooking up Hexlar cables like some kind of cable goddess—
Tess: XLR. XLR Cables.
Finley: Whatever. I’m good at tools, not cables.

Tess has no advice on how Finley could potentially get over someone who she sees all the time — which I believe is Tess referencing her own feelings for Shane, a person who has done nothing but express explicit interest in Tess, despite Tess’s quasi-relationship with her ex Cherrie Peroni. Tess suggests, AS IF I AM NOT RIGHT HERE AND HATE IT, that Finley tell Sophie to “back off a little.” Finley says she’ll do exactly that and then qualifies that actually, she will not.

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Meanwhile, Shane’s spilling to her pals that Cherrie Jaffe came by the other night (nobody is respecting Cherrie’s SURNAME CHANGE which was announced in SEASON THREE, the woman has been divorced for SIXTEEN YEARS), first to see Tess and then to see her, although she swears there was no hanky-panky during the Shane-Cherie Private Session.

Shane leaning over in the booth towards Alice
Why the hell are you drinking a Heineken? I thought Tecate was the Season Two sponsor.

Nobody believes Shane, womp womp. So we transition to discussing Bette’s disinterest in Gigi, a relationship she now claims “never really started” and “wasn’t exactly some epic meeting of the minds.” Ouch.

Bette holding her arms up
And when I held that Samantha doll in my arms I just felt so profoundly connected to early 20th century American History, and I don’t understand why Angie was never interested in having a Samantha Doll of her own

Bette has yet to inform Gigi of her disinterest, however. She’s pretty sure Gigi already knows that it’s not going anywhere, which is a thing you say when you don’t want to say “I ghosted her.”


Sophie tells Maribel that despite Finley’s insistence otherwise, Finley is absolutely 100% for sure avoiding her.

Sophie grabbing at her chin
It’s just this ONE tiny hair that I have to pluck out every single month
Maribel incredulous
I’m sorry you’re registering a complaint about just ONE tiny hair?

Maribel wants Sophie to sing, but she refuses, even though Maribel says she’s a great singer and we all know that Rosanny went to Julliard. Before any progress can be made on the musical front, however, guess who’s here??!!!

Dani shell-shocked at the doro
Gigi can you hand me the Xanax in the pink pill case at the bottom of your handbag please

Gigi and Dani have taken one outfit and split it up between the two of them, which is also a form of lesbian sex. But as soon as Micah and Dani spot the table containing Sophie and Maribel, they both desperately want to leave. Gigi insists that they stay and reclaim their space. Gigi guides Dani towards the bar with a tender touch while glancing at Bette Porter.

Gigi guiding Dani to the bar
Phone calls are free
Bette at the table with her friends eyeing Gigi
Silence is golden

Sorry Shane, this party is gonna be High Lesbian Drama and there’s nothing you can do to stop it!

As Micah heads in their direction, Maribel quickly informs Sophie that she and Micah did the horizontal mambo last week and before Sophie can thoroughly eviscerate her for withholding this information —  look who’s here!?!? It’s Micah!!!!

Maribel looking alarmed
I had sex with your roommate in your house exactly one week ago sorry I didn’t tell you earlier
Sophie gritting her teeth
MARIBEL I WAS THERE OH MY GOD I HEARD YOU HAVING A LOUD ORGASM —
Micah standing at their table
Heyy ladies…. how y’all doin….

Finley swings by to amp up the ambient discomfort levels and Micah asks her if she can be nice to Dani so they can all have a nice civilized time tonight. “Is she gonna punch me in the face again?” Finley asks.

“She hasn’t been able to rule that out,” Micah says. Finley requests Micah give her a heads up if there’s a jab coming her way.

“Okay, I get it,” Sophie smiles. “Everyone’s gonna be normal because there’s nothing to be weird about with any of us, right?”

Finley and Micah facing each other
Hahahaha no it’s totally fine that you ate the jeans I left in an eggo waffle box

Sophie takes an imaginary phone call on her hand in order to leave Micah and Maribel alone to have an awkward conversation. Micah notes that he’s not heard from Maribel in quite some time. She says she’s been swamped with the crisis at the border. He asks if she’d like to have lunch. She says she has to work. He asks if she wants a drink. She nods to indicate that she already has one. What is happening here?? Why won’t Maribel have an $18 lunch salad with Micah at the Urth Cafe???!! Anyhow, meanwhile I am sitting at a nearby table buying Micah a one way ticket from LAX to Bismarck just in case he needs it.

Well I don’t know about YOU but I personally saw a faded sign on the side of the road that said fifteen miles to the LOVE SHACCCKKKKK? So did our favorite musical trio: Shane, Bette and Alice.

For anybody unaware of the background here: Leisha Hailey is a professional musician (she was in the Murmurs also Uh Huh Her, a band I famously adore) and played a musician in All Over Me. Jennifer Beals can sing too, and did so in “Blood and Concrete” (1991) and They Shoot Divas Don’t They (2002).

If you’d like to see a video of the performance with *just* the song audio on it and no crowd noise or crowd shots, you can do so right here.

Can every night be karaoke night? Can we have a musical episode?

Shane yelling into the microphone
JENNY IS ALIVE!!!!
bette and Alice singing karaoke
HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY ASSISTANT JAMES
Alice singing "Love Shack"
THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL DANA!!!!!!!!

I’m honestly having a great time, and every time the camera shifts to a member of the crowd, it appears that this performance has thrust everybody into a wild state of ecstasy. Finley wins, though:

gif of Finley dancing

And nobody is having less fun than Gigi, who is a little tipsy and increasingly preoccupied about Bette for reasons that are unfortunately quite familiar to me: “It’s amazing how the ego takes a hit even if you know somebody isn’t right for you,” Gigi tells Dani, apropos of nothing. Dani shares that she feels good with Sophie. Gigi says closure is powerful. 

Dani and Bette greet each other with the warmth of two women that many members of the internet have sexual fantasies about. Dani tells Bette she’s been “working on something for us” that will certainly please Bette, seeing how deeply Bette has always been a huge fan of Daddy’s Evil Incorporated.


Meanwhile in the backroom, Tess confronts Shane: she wants to know why Cherie broke up with her because she’s pretty suspicious that the reason starts with S and ends with E and it’s not Sophie, Science or legendary recording artist Sade.

Tess vs. Shane Squabble Graphic

Gay Squabble #22: Who’s Delusional Now?

In the Ring: Tess vs. Shane

Content: Cherie told Tess that they needed to break up because it was “messy” and she wanted to “take herself out of the mix,” and Tess “calls bullshit” on Shane saying this decision did not follow Cherie and Shane having sexual activities. Shane knows she screwed up with Lena, but that was like, between three weeks and two years ago and she’s totally changed now? Tess says Shane has got the look of guilt on her face, declares herself done, and leaves.

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Who Wins? Clea


Gigi saddles up to Bette Porter, wall of stone, at the bar, and asks if she wants to fuck in the bathroom and then immediately says she was kidding.

Gigi leaning over towards Bette at the bar
I’ve got a hot tip on a one-pot pasta dish that will blow your family’s MIND

But what Gigi really wants is some closure of her own and Bette is so vehemently against this request for direct communication — albeit coming from a slightly drunk woman wearing 15% of a turtleneck sweater — that she is in fact smug, repulsed, and a incredibly mean.

Gigi: What went so wrong with us, Bette.?
Bette: You really wanna talk about this? Like now?
Gigi: Yeah, yeah I do.
Bette: Okay. Um. I think we both know that we’re not right for each other.
Gigi: I’m curious about your perspective.
Bette: I think I need… more?
Gigi: Do you really think there’s someone out there who checks all your boxes, Bette?
Bette: As a matter of fact I know there is.

She is of course referring to Pippa, who she very recently told her friends she was only pursuing as a client! But this is unfathomably unnecessary and cruel to say to anyone, let alone someone you’ve dated casually who has never wronged or insulted you on any level.

Maybe being as hot as Gigi enables a person to maintain their ego against all odds, but again, as with Micah earlier in the episode, if I were Gigi I would be in the process of changing my name and putting a deposit down on a mansion in rural North Dakota.


Guess who’s here? It’s Tom! He is coming straight from the wedding of his nightmares, wherein his ex married his best friend and Great Aunt Gilda was coming on strong. Alice is tentatively flirty about his outfit.

Alice in the club talking to Tom, red shirt
You do animal impressions!?!? Show me your best wild tiger

Tom in a tux baring his teeth

Tom was stoked when Alice texted — and she’s jazzed about this until she realizes it’s not because he wants  to bang in a parking lot but because he’d been dying for an excuse to get the hell out of that wedding. He is not alone in his seeming assumption that Alice, while bisexual, is only interested in women, and volunteers to be her wingman.


Micah tells Dani that Maribel isn’t gonna date him until she solves the crisis at the border, or something, and Dani suggests that he bury his emotions and instead go talk to a hot guy who has been staring at him all night!

Dani putting her hand on Micah as they are sitting and drinking
We HAVE to do “Suddenly Seymour” the crowd will go WILD for it

This leaves Dani alone for a mere moment because almost immediately Gigi slips in to join her, just in time for Sophie to send her a drink because this is 1959 and what on G-d’s barely-green decomposing earth is going on here??

Dani and Gigi sitting with multiple drinks
You know MOST people have trouble holding ONE martini glass without spilling but I’ll have you know that I personally am adept at in fact holding TWO at the same time

Shane tries calling Tess, who doesn’t pick up. She heads outside, where Finley is practicing telling Sophie not to hit on her. Her first rehearsal produces the following slice of improv: “I’m gonna say it again, I love you, I think I’ve always loved you, and BE WITH ME!”

Finley outside talking to herself
What do you mean “If you build it, they will come”?? Who’s gonna come?

Shane reminds Finley that she has a job, Tess bailed, and Shane thus needs Finley to do said job. “I fed the rats so you don’t need to worry about that,” Finley tells her on her way back inside.


Bette’s skipped out on karaoke night and has re-located to an art exhibit featuring the students of the one and only Pippa Pascal, who is somehow both hidden in the canyons of Topenga AND teaching graduate students at a local University.

Pippa in the art gallery
I told you I’m very happy with my current internet provider
Bette looking at Pippa in the art gallery
If you say so

Pippa’s aggravated to see Bette — this is not the place for a pitch — but Bette says she’s not there for Pippa, she’s there for one of Pippa’s students. Slick.


Back at Karaoke, the unrequested drama continues! This time, it’s Maribel who spots Micah flirting with a man and decides to go right over and give him a piece of her mind.

Micah vs Maribel graphic

Squabble #23: Grind Up On This

In the Ring: Micah vs. Maribel

Maribel: Was I just an experiment to you? Just to see what it would be like to sleep with a woman?
Micah: That – That is not —
Maribel: Cuz it sorta feels that way.
Micah: Wait, what do you mean? I just asked you out and you shot me down!
Maribel: I didn’t shoot you down!
Micah: You weren’t exactly excited or even open to the idea of dating.
Maribel: Oh I’m so sorry I wasn’t enthusiastic enough for you! Maybe I should smile more too?
Micah: That is not what I meant and you know that’s not what I meant.
Maribel: Maybe I was a little nervous.
Micah: Were you?
Maribel: Of course, I’m human. But instead of asking for clarification you find the hottest guy here to grind up on.

Who Wins? Micah should’ve asked for clarification, but sleeping with your friend is pretty vulnerable and nerve-wracking for both of them — she explicitly shot him down and I don’t blame him for reading the room and moving on to other possibilities. Truly I have no clue what’s going on with these two but I hope to find out soon!


Because the fine gentlewoman Sophie sent m’lady Dani a beverage across ye olde karaoke bar for reasons unknown, Dani sojourns in her direction to inquire and before long, banter is afoot!

Dani gritting her teeth
I can hold this smile for five more seconds max and then we are returning to our respective corners, okay?

Dani: Was that an apology for brutally abandoning me at the altar in front of all my friends and family? Because I’m gonna need more than a drink for that one.
Sophie: Can we just pretend to be nice to each other?
Dani: This is me pretending to be nice. [pause] Does everyone cheat? is that just something everyone does?

I wondered here if Dani knew that Gigi cheated on Nat, or if she’s simply thinking of what little we do know she definitely knows — Felicity cheating on her husband, Jose cheating on his husband, Sophie cheating on her, etc.

This is such a pure moment: Dani, new to dating, trying to navigate the norms and determine what she should accept and what bears examination.

Sophie tells her she looks great and Dani’s like, “I know.”

Of course Finley walks out onto the bar floor at the exact moment Dani and Sophie are touching each other affectionately (for, again, reasons unbenknownst to me) and thus turns on her heels and returns to the backroom, which is not exactly what Shane had instructed!


Sophie chases Finley into the back room to find her very upset. Finley was gonna ask Sophie to stop hitting on her, but realized she didn’t have to after all, ’cause Sophie’s out there with Dani. Sophie insists she’s not back together with Dani and — you know what? Let’s fight it out.

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Finley vs Sophie

Lesbian Squabble #24: And I Don’t Know How To Hold You Without Shaking
In The Ring: Sophie vs Finley

Finley doesn’t want a friendship. “I think I’ve been pretty clear about that,” she says, accurately. As mentioned in an earlier recap, there are many extras who can absolutely testify to this fact. But Sophie heard her fucking someone else! Finley thinks Sophie should know that wasn’t real! Finley’s just trying to get over Sophie but she’s making it so hard!

Finley: You asked me to stay and I stayed. Right. Then you asked for space so I gave you space. and any time I’m near you I feel something and I just — do you feel it? Do you feel it? Or am I fucking crazy?
Sophie: Yes, okay, you’re not crazy.
Finley: Then what the fuck, dude?

Sophie says it’s just hard! There’s so much to consider. Not Dani, but everybody. “Nobody thinks we should be together,” says Sophie, and I would like to disagree on the behalf of Sinley shippers everywhere — I believe there are at least 35 of us — and likely everybody who was at the wedding and hopes all that drama was worth it for somebody. “I don’t give a fuck what everybody else thinks,” Finley screams. Sophie shuts the door. She doesn’t want to make a scene. Because you know; they’ve made a few scenes. Finley is crying. “You’re never gonna choose me, are you?” Sophie can only sigh.

Who Wins? Finley. She made her case and put her foot down, despite how painful it is to do so.

Sophie’s hesitancy is unkind but it’s also clear where it’s coming from — Finley’s choice to disclose their affair in a backwards hat humiliated Dani, ruined an expensive wedding at the Bachelor Mansion and outed both her and Finley as very emotionally reckless human beings. In all the ensuing moments of their mutual lives, this choice has continued to deliver consequences: Finley losing her job, Sophie losing her dining room table and red pepper, Dani losing her mind, both Sophie and Finley losing some respect. Sophie lied! Finley fucked up!

What Sophie doesn’t realize yet is most of their peers ultimately don’t give a shit and she has to do what’s right for her own heart. Once the drama has faded, everyone returns to their own self-obsession and whatever is easiest for them socially. Nobody is thinking about the implications of Sophie aligning herself publicly with Finley half as much as Sophie is — including Finley.

And come on, is it really better to say “that’s not mine” than it is to say “that is mine, and we know that we got here the wrong way, but we did need to get here somehow”?


Back out on the dance floor, Alice can’t make the first move with Tom ’cause rejection is a bit intimidating right now. Sophie tells her she can’t be scared forever.

Alice in the club tilting her head talking to Sophie
I mean if you think about it, aren’t baristas basically everyday queer heroes?
Sophie looking surprised
Oh my God you’re right

Alice: “I think one more night of crippling fear is okay.”
Sophie: “Not for me I don’t think.”
Alice: “No?”
Sophie: “Finley’s not that bad.”
Alice: “I know that! I love her!”
Sophie: “Yeah. So do I.”

And ta-da: that’s enough, I think, for Sophie. Just even this one singular person she respects being on board with the relationship, even this one person reminding her that the only person worried about her image w/r/t dating Finley is Sophie herself. And maybe she should just fucking go for it and stop hurting Finley!


Finley continues shining as the worst employee of the year as she paces in the kitchen, feeling wholly entitled to Shane’s focus and attention because she is “actually in pain.”

Shane’s advice for Finley (and also for her and Tess, it seems) is that if they both have feelings for each other, what’s the problem? Finley groans when she hears the opening chords of “Closer” by the esteemed Tegan & Sara. Because that’s their song. Obviously.

Shane and Finley in the backroom
Yeah every night around 11pm a steady drip of Vancouver water starts leaking through the crack in the roof into the kitchen and I like to think that’s Dana up there, reminding us that we threw 50 cups of her ashes into a waterfall which was absolutely more ashes than one body could’ve ever reasonably created

“Is it?” Shane asks. “Because…”

Finley’s eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning about to rip open a giant box of Tinker Toys. Sophie’s singing their song!

sophie singing on a mike
Attention Attention we’re gonna need a clean-up on aisle 5!
Shane and Finley gazing at the stage
That’s your job, Finley

Finley is dazzled by this sudden and welcome announcement of Sophie’s deep actual feelings and desires via the eternal Lesbian Love Language of Tegan & Sara lyrics. You can see in this moment that Finley has never before been the recipient of a grand gesture. She stands in front of the stage like a geeky groupie, blissed out and full of that hope she’d lost in her eyes. Sophie is scared but ready to own her feelings, every word, adding, sometimes, her own words to the song, as cringey as that insertion is. But, speaking of awkward —

Listen I love love, I love this rom-com moment and that in true lesbian rom-com fashion it involves Tegan & Sara. But…. Dani is here, you morons!!!! And guess what you’re kinda making a scene!!

Micah, Dani and Gigi realizing that Sophie is singing "closer" to finley
Surely she would not dare to do what it appears she is currently doing?

Dani is here and so if Sophie must do it this way, and I don’t think she must, maybe give Micah a heads-up to remove Dani from the premises before she begins? Maybe don’t literally insert Finley’s name into the song or give an aside like and this is true about Finley thinking about her underneath her. Does Dani deserve to witness this, let alone witness an entire room of clueless extras cheering for Sinley? My friends, she does not!

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And this is why, as soon as Dani sees that Sophie is singing and Finley is standing in front of her like a silly kid just gazing and elbow-crushing to this love song, she gets the absolute fuck out of there and I believe she will shortly be filing a lawsuit against the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern.

Now that Dani is gone, I can finally focus on the joy of this scene (which I have now watched 15 times). It’s just them here, scared, teary, hopeful —

Sophie singing
I love you!
Finley feeling teary
Really?
Sophie singing
Fuck yeah! You’re like, the best part of my day, I love the shit out of you

Could Sophie and Alice maybe start a band? Just a free idea. Here come the dreams of you and me!


Outside on the fine streets of Los Feliz, Dani is running out of the club, with Gigi and her half-sweater in hot pursuit. “I could feel the air get sucked out of the room when I walked in,” Dani said. “Everyone’s eyes were on me. These were supposed to be my people, you know what I mean?”

Gigi talking to Dani outside on the street
Dani, I am wearing a VERY weird shirt and I think it’s pretty possible that it was me everybody was looking at, not you

Gigi insists that they still are her friends and nothing’s changed, but it’d be hard for Dani to believe that now. She’s the one who was wronged and is in pain, but the people who pained and wronged her can have a good night and she cannot? Luckily, Gigi’s gonna go get her purse and manage the fuck out of this evening. ‘Cause it’s not over yet.


Back inside, Finley and Sophie are slow-dancing and Finley’s saying “I’m so happy.”

Finley and Sophie clutching each other
OMG THAT TICKLES HAHAHAAH

Micah transitions from drinking alone to leaving alone. Tom remarks that stuff like this doesn’t happen in straight bars. Alice asks him if he wants to dance and he’s jazzed to be her wingman but then she corrects him — “I wanna dance with you. Not as friends.” And my FRIENDS, Tom is ECSTATIC.

Tom and Alice at the club
Woah I would’ve caught on sooner but I just had no idea the show was actually gonna address you being bisexual

Guess what, Tom loves ballroom dancing! They are so cute! Love is love! Alice asks if he wants to get out of there and he is like ABSOLUTELY. Congrats to the happy couple!


Onwards and upwards to Tess’s home, where Shane’s paying her a little visit and Tess isn’t interested in what Shane has to say but Shane’s gonna say it anyway!

Tess standing at her front door
I told you I already bought Girl Scout cookies this season and I am DROWNING in Thin Mints

She did have something to do with their breakup, but not how Tess thought she did:

Shane: I met Cherie 17 years ago and it was enchanting, but she fucked me over. Now, it wasn’t entirely her fault, I played a part in that, I was an absolute mess back then, but she is an opportunist, Tess, and when i saw you come in with her I saw the same scenario play out all over again but this time it was with you instead of me.
Tess: I can take care of myself.
Shane: I know you can, and I’m sorry, I was wrong. I never should’ve gotten in the way. I care about you, Tess.

Eventually Tess picks up what Shane’s putting down and edges closer to her, body-to-body, asking if there was anything else Shane told Cherie re: Leave Tess Alone. But Shane’s not yet ready to reveal that.

Shane pleading at Tess's door
Just let me in. I’ll help you eat the cookies, I promise.

Back at The Senior Thesis Gallery Bette gushes over Pippa’s students, one of whomst she is confident she will one day ensnare into her web of successful artists. Pippa says it’s not easy to say no to her, and Bette counters that Pippa makes it look pretty easy!

Bette and Pippa walking through the gallery
Just hand me one earring, I promise I’ll give it back wink wink

But there’s one thing that’d make it impossible for Pippa to say no: if Bette offered her something “real and concrete.” Not representation by her gallery but “a real opportunity to show [her] work again.” I genuinely have no idea what she means!!!


Tom on top of Alice for sex

Sexy Moment #7: Literary License to Love

The Pick-Up: I believe that happened in the prior scene when Alice asked Tom to join her in departing the party for sexual activities in her home. BUT once again we also do have a literal pick-up in this scene, which I support.

Hot or Not: They rush to take their clothes off and he pushes her onto the bed and he enters her and Alice thrusts her head back and says “oh, wow” so I think this is going well and everybody seems to be having a nice time!


Meanwhile, Micah and Maribel are both watching Love + Basketball in their own homes and feeling sad that every interaction they had this episode didn’t make sense to me personally. I’m eager to find out what’s underneath it all!

Micah watching TV
Wow, Season Six is as bad as they said it was

Elsewhere, Shane and Tess are beating around the bush on Tess’s front porch while Finley is definitely not closing down the bar.

Tess and Shane sitting on her porch
I’M READY FOR MY JUNIOR MINT

Back at FiSoMi’s, Finley and Sophie are finally releasing all the sexual tension that’s been building up for us as lesbians since January 2020 in their first Season Two Sex Scene! They’re taking off their clothes and kissing and apologizing — Finley for fucking Brit in the backroom with the door open and ruining Sophie’s wedding, Sophie for making Finley quit her job at Alice’s.

Finley and Sophie making out
Sexy Moment #8: How To Get You Underneath Me

“It’s weird right, this is her bed?” Finley asks.

“No. It can’t be anymore,” says Sophie. “It’s you and me.”

Finley says ok, and Sophie holds Finley’s head in her hands and Sophie says she’s sorry she didn’t go to Kansas City with her and Finley says “what” ’cause she had no idea that was even on Sophie’s menu, back then, a lifetime ago. “I just got scared,” Sophie explains. “and I promise I’m gonna try not to be so scared anymore, okay?” And then they kiss, they undress, Finley climbs on top of her and traces down her whole body with her mouth and Sophie thrusts her head back and here we go!

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Back on dry land, Gigi and Dani are gabbing about Dani’s dubious history as a competitive eater when Gigi gives her a seductive smile and announces:

Gigi: They’ve changed.
Dani: What?
Gigi: I told you I’d tell you if my feelings for you changed. And they have.

Gigi and Dani eating ice cream and lookign at each other on the street
Just go like this and say AHHHHHH

Gigi seduces a plastic spoon and trots off ahead of her young charge. And that, my friends, is the end.


The Roundup:

Squabbles: 3 this episode, 24 total

Sexy Moments: 2 this episode, 8 total

Quote of the Week: Shane’s famous last words — “Please no drama tonight.”