Don’t you hate when you’re a teen and your teen friend’s murderous mother traps you in a dining room underneath her maple farmhouse to tell you all about her diabolical plan to destroy your hometown and accuses you of terrible sins that you must pay penance for in the form of an overnight game of life-or-death challenges in the woods?
Distinctly queer camp is increasingly part of Riverdale’s DNA. The gothic-glam horror keeps on outdoing itself.
Plus, Cheryl and Toni slow dance!
Oh great, now Toni’s in the farm, too.
All lesbian breakups on TV should be told in song and dance in my opinion.
Cheryl Blossom really encapsulates that “Game Of Thrones But Make It Teen Drama” essence that represents Riverdale at its finest.
“Archers, draw; anchor your hand at the corner of your mouth; use your dominant eye. Now, relax my pretties. Release.”
It’s the horniest, gayest episode of Riverdale yet!
When was the last time the two queer women of Riverdale got any semblance of character development?
The dads of Riverdale are acting out.
Riverdale’s return to television after its winter break starts the way more episodes of Riverdale should start: with lesbian sex.
Teen asylum breakouts, maple syrup torture, hot moms who weld, mass seizures — this show really does have it all.
Where the hell is Cheryl? Do we think things will come full circle for her and she’ll be the one to break her dear cousin out of the Sisters Of Quiet Mercy? Does Riverdale have any real plans for her this season?
Parents love to lie, but Detective Betty is ON IT.
Life is a roleplaying game and the roleplaying game is life.
John Hughes meets Wes Craven in Riverdale’s fun but surprisingly emotional ’80s tribute.
There are at least three shows happening at once right now.
Archie stars in a middling, trope-filled prison movie, but at least the season’s murder mystery is heating up. Also, I’m still worried about Betty!
Ah, yes. Cheryl Blossom is back. Riverdale is back. Let the beautiful chaos begin.
Cheryl Blossom is a bow-wielding superhero, and the Black Hood reveals himself, and a million other things happen!
