Gina Torres arrives to fix everyone’s lives.

Extreme highs and lows come with the first-love territory, and the softer moment that Toni and Cheryl spend on the couch is quite sweet. I’m often questioning why these two are together, and I think the real answer is less romantic and more troubling. Toni is a caretaker to Cheryl, and Cheryl is desperate to be loved by just about anyone.

Yes, Cheryl Blossom is the most interesting character right now AND NOT JUST BECAUSE SHE’S GAY (but that helps).

Last night’s Cheryl and Toni-less episode, while not all bad, was a bit blah and had very little of the content that I know you all come here to read about (gay stuff). So instead, let’s play a game of Top, Bottom, or Switch, shall we?

It’s Halloween in Riverdale — let’s have a freakin seance!!!! With a cursed puppet!!!!

The show has all the subtlety of a freak show. It’s horror-camp. It’s musical theater. And I absolutely mean all of those things as compliments.

The failures of family, the joys of friendship, and a nonsensical but incredible musical number—just another day in Riverdale!

Distinctly queer camp is increasingly part of Riverdale’s DNA. The gothic-glam horror keeps on outdoing itself.

Plus, Cheryl and Toni slow dance!

Oh great, now Toni’s in the farm, too.

All lesbian breakups on TV should be told in song and dance in my opinion.

It’s the horniest, gayest episode of Riverdale yet!

Teen asylum breakouts, maple syrup torture, hot moms who weld, mass seizures — this show really does have it all.