bottoms up News | Autostraddle

Bottoms Up: I Am Enough

I get it now. Hot toppy girls will like me just as I am or they won’t get to like me at all. I am good enough.

Bottoms Up: Earn It

It’s not that I don’t want to submit, it’s that submitting is so different from how I have to conduct my life that it takes effort to turn off that HBIC part of me so that I can relish letting go.

Bottoms Up: Used

“When I’m being used for sex, I feel like a vessel through which pleasure flows, hot and bursting.”

Bottoms Up: You Are Not My Dom

Somehow, self-identifying as a submissive makes some potential doms think I am their sub.

Bottoms Up: About Last Night

“I guess I had a lot of opinions that night because you told me that I was especially chatty. I told you it was because you weren’t giving me anything to keep my mouth busy.”

Bottoms Up: I Dream Of Collars

I imagine being a collared submissive as a physical manifestation of my and my dominant’s commitment, a symbol around kinky folks and a public secret around vanilla ones.

woman making a stop gesture toward the camera

Bottoms Up: Denial

I don’t always play to get off. Sometimes denial is exactly what I want.

Bottoms Up: Ch-ch-changes

As my gender expression changes, so does who I’m attracted to.

Bottoms Up: Kinky Resolutions

As I grow more into the submissive I want to be, I grow to love myself more.

Bottoms Up: Holistic Masochism

“Holistic masochism recognizes that I’m not just a sex machine, but a whole person who has to exist before and after play.”

Bottoms Up: Be Your Own Submissive

“When I’m alone, and the world feels like it’s ending, for whom do I do service?”

Bottoms Up: A Way To Move Through The World

I started to see submission as less about what happens in play and more about a way to approach the world.

Bottoms Up: What Limits?

Sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but what if during the act, it did? What if all I focused on during sex was consent and pleasure?

Bottoms Up: Greedy

“Submitting is something I do, not something done to me.”

Bottoms Up: Sad, Solo, Submissive

Be the daddy you want to see in the world.

Bottoms Up: Subspace Is Better Than Meditation

The more I experience subspace, the more I think that mindful living is possible for me.

Bottoms Up: Did My Feminist Ancestors Burn Their Bras For This?

I’ve worked hard to hold onto my independence, and here I was giving it up — to someone more dominant and more masculine. My feminist ancestors didn’t burn their bras for this. Except what if they did?

Bottoms Up: Little Boi

Being in little space doesn’t feel like being a child again. It feels more freeing than my childhood ever was, and like something completely different.