I get it now. Hot toppy girls will like me just as I am or they won’t get to like me at all. I am good enough.

“When I’m being used for sex, I feel like a vessel through which pleasure flows, hot and bursting.”

Somehow, self-identifying as a submissive makes some potential doms think I am their sub.

I don’t always play to get off. Sometimes denial is exactly what I want.

“Holistic masochism recognizes that I’m not just a sex machine, but a whole person who has to exist before and after play.”

Sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but what if during the act, it did? What if all I focused on during sex was consent and pleasure?

“Submitting is something I do, not something done to me.”

Submitting is a weird dichotomy of knowing exactly what you want but putting someone else in control of giving it to you.

“I was on my ninth cigarette when the dom about to give me the most affirming experience I’d had as a sub came to stand next to me.”