“Apparently I am suffering from GBICT, or Gay Blog Induced Carpal Tunnel. In an effort to relax, I turned on the teevee. I saw this terrible thing on True Life: I Hate my Small Boobs. So I had to look it up and see what the fuck was up with that girl’s Mom”

“Bookworm? Tomboy? Rule-Breaker? Felt like a changeling in your family? Women who answer yes to any of the above may feel instantly comfortable with the outsider status that more readily comes with that lesbian territory.”

“We’ll comb desperately and hungrily through minutes upon minutes of storylines we don’t care about on shows we’ve never seen before — aliens! middle schoolers! telenovelas! big brother 10! — to reach the two-minute morsel we care about more than we probably should: the holy grail of promised homosexual content.”