S L I C K: The Best Them

Content notes: cunnilingus, threesomes, bathroom sex
“Oh fuck, ” Cash whispered as they pulled their drenched foot out of a restaurant’s toilet. If you would have told them a year ago they’d be straddling a toilet in the bathroom of a Cheesecake Factory across the street from the wedding of both of their exes, they probably would have told you, “Wow, that is the gayest shit I have ever heard.” Because it was the gayest shit they’d ever heard, and honestly, it was pretty par for the course in their clout-obsessed lesbian friend group.
They had run over to the Cheesecake Factory after receiving a text from their first ex-girlfriend and soon-to-be-bride that said, “Meet me in the Cheesecake Factory bathroom in 10 minutes.” So now here they were, their new Doc Martens (it’s a lesbian wedding — what did you expect) soaked through as punishment for being the worst friend in the universe. Maybe that’s why they were hiding in the bathroom stall perched on a toilet seat instead of casua...

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Gara Lonning is a comedian, writer and performer based in New York City. They are most known for their podcasts, "We're Having Gay Sex" and "EN(BA)BY: A Podcast About Gender."

Gara has written 1 article for us.