I’m back with All Stars Face!! I do not regularly recap All Stars because the thing about recapping a TV show that airs on Fridays is it takes a lot out of me. I don’t have RuPaul fracking money for support so I need a break! But obviously I had to do a special recap this week because the makeover challenge was for women’s basketball players. Also I’m in love with Bosco.

For anyone who likes reading recaps but isn’t watching, here’s what you missed on Glee season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars. This year there are eighteen queens participating in a tournament structure of three brackets of six. The first bracket has three episodes to gain points and the top three move onto the next round. Then next week bracket two will start.

This first bracket is Aja, DeJa Skye, Phoenix, Olivia Lux, Irene the Alien, and Bosco, who I’m in love with. Going into this final episode of the first bracket, Irene and Bosco were in the lead with Aja in third. That is until the queens who weren’t in the top last week give out their point badges. (Sorry, I’ve got to move on. If you’re confused, just roll with it.) DeJa and Olivia end up with two more points each and Phoenix and Aja get zero. Aja feels like Olivia backstabbed her and… it’s a little fair. But I think Olivia was looking at Bosco and Irene as frontrunners and thinking the last thing she wanted to do was to secure Aja in that third spot. Fair! She’s there to win!

It’s a new day in the workroom and Aja and Phoenix are in their feelings. Meanwhile, Bosco is in a tied up black top that looks really good.

Ru arrives to announce a very exciting maxi challenge! The queens will be giving makeovers to women’s basketball players! Now before you get too excited about seeing your biggest WNBA crush all glammed up, I should note these are college players. But I believe the children are the future and I also believe that today’s college athletes whose personal lives are not our business are tomorrow’s super gay pros whose engagements will be breaking Autostraddle news.

The college players are:
Lauren Betts, UCLA
Abby Prohaska, SDSU
Maya Hernandez, Loyala Marymount
Hunter Hernandez, UC Irvine
Nevaeh Dean, UC Irvine
Talia Von Oelhoffen, USC

They’re adorable!

To decide who is paired up with who, the queens have a free throw contest. Whoever gets the most free throws in 60 seconds gets to pair everybody up. Olivia gets the least with three and Irene gets the most with eight. But Irene says she wants to win because she’s great not because the other queens struggle, so she does her best to pair people fairly. She pairs Nevaeh with Olivia, Maya with Phoenix, Talia with Aja, Abby with DeJa, Lauren with Bosco, and Hunter with herself. Oh and it’s not just a makeover. They’re also doing a song called “Shoot Your Shot” and each pair has to write verses.

All the girls are so game and it makes for really fun vibes in the workroom. Much different than the family trauma of last main season’s makeover challenge. Olivia talks a bit about her Aja drama and Nevaeh talks about competing with the other players on your college team who play your same positions. You’re allied as teammates, but you, personally, also want to win. Meanwhile, Hunter is visibly disappointed when Irene says they’re going to go for an alien clown vibe instead of high glam. It’s the right choice for Irene, but I will admit that if I was ever a guest on the makeover challenge I’d be so bummed if I got paired with a kooky queen instead of one who just made me gorg.

There’s a real effort by a lot of the other queens to make their partners feel good which I always love to see. DeJa says she’s going to play to Abby’s strengths with the dancing instead of coming up with complicated choreo. It helps that all of the players are COMPETITIVE. Duh, they’re college athletes! They’re there to win. Even Hunter quickly pivots from disappointment to like okay got to trust my coach.

Bosco is being her usual funny self and Lauren matches that saying you have to just ignore Bosco’s convoluted words and focus on her meaning. It reminded me of last week when Bosco said she wasn’t good at drag queen speak but she made up for it with cutting bitch talk. I wish more queens (especially the white ones) would pay attention!! Bosco is funnier and weirder and more cutting, because she’s not relying on poor deliveries of boots the house down. Instead she’s asking Lauren if she’s ever had a DUI and then saying, well you’re young there’s still time.

As the queens and their proteges prepare for the runway, the basketball players talk about people thinking they’re masculine because they’re athletes. Aja talks about relating to the need to perform femininity as a trans woman.

It’s time for the runway! And the guest judge this week is Brittney Griner Kate Beckinsale?? Okay, look, the truth is I was obsessed with Kate Beckinsale as a kid, because I was obsessed with this very sad movie called Snow Angels. But this is a basketball episode! Why not pick one of the many gay WNBA players?? The only justification I can imagine is these college players would feel way too nervous performing in front of someone they might idolize. But idk… feels like they could’ve picked an athlete of some kind!

Time for the runways! DeJa absolutely killed it with Abby’s makeup, but unfortunately the outfits are not very good. Irene trusting her gut paid off — she and Hunter look amazing as black and white mime clowns. Bosco and Lauren (whose drag name is The Goddess!) also look incredible. What I love here is Bosco made Lauren look gorgeous as herself while still having Michelle’s all-important family resemblance. She didn’t turn Lauren into a version of Bosco but rather found common ground so they could both look great while playing to both of their strengths. It’s a tough balance to strike so it’s really rare to see in these challenges. Phoenix definitely nailed the twinning — and with a fun reference to her and India Farrah’s season three entrance looks — but it felt a little at the expense of Maya. Olivia also crushed it with matching music looks for her Nevaeh with them connected by a headphone cord. Finally, Aja also nailed resemblance with her “hood fairy” aesthetic and did incredible makeup on Talia. The fairy costume was a bit simple but the makeup and obvious joy they both had on-stage made up for that for me.

The song was fun! All the queens were solid but Aja and Olivia definitely had the best lyrics.

The judges praise DeJa for giving Abby the full drag experience while critiquing their outfit cohesion. They praise Irene with no caveats. Kate Beckinsale calls Bosco and Lauren Gigi and Bella Hadid and then Ru talks about Bosco’s tits again. (I think Ru might be the only person even more enamored with them than me. Like, yes, I’m in love with Bosco, but I also just wish we were pals so I could ask for the name of her surgeon.) Ts Madison says Phoenix was still in her head which… fair. Olivia gets full praise with Ru specifically praising their asymetrical afros. And Michelle critiques Aja’s looks for being costumey. Aja says drag is a costume and I get that, but I think I agree with Michelle on this one. And I say that as someone who is rooting for Aja to win this whole season! I guess my feeling for the makeover challenge though is it’s most important to make the guest feel good and sometimes that means making them into the prettiest girl at the Halloween party. Irene may have done a better job at the challenge, but Aja was among the best at giving her basketball player the time of her life.

Irene and Bosco are declared the winners securing their spots in the next round! They lipsync to “Pocketbook” by Jennifer Hudson featuring Ludacris. It’s a solid lip sync but not nearly as good as their lip sync last week. Irene wins which I will concede was the right call, even though, again, I am in love with Bosco.

Since it’s the last episode of the bracket, the queens give out their points on-stage with Ru acting as a possible tie-breaker. Aja gives hers to DeJa not wanting to make the mistake of trusting Olivia again. DeJa gives hers to Olivia. And then Olivia comes through for Aja and gives her a point after all! This means it’s up to Phoenix. She gives it to Aja! I was thrilled. Olivia was definitely among the best this episode, so it’s a bummer for her to go out on that, but Bosco, Irene, and Aja are the clear top three who should be advancing.

And luckily for Olivia, DeJa, and Phoenix… Ru is full of twists. At the end of the three brackets, the judges will get to pick eliminated queens who can return. I’m not invested in all of that, because Bosco and Aja are moving on!

I will not be here next week, but I will be watching. And I will also be rewatching clips on TikTok of Bosco.

(If group two’s makeover challenge is of idk French filmmakers I guess I’ll do another of these. Imagine Céline Sciamma on Drag Race.)

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ I wrote in my notes “DeJa puts on Bosco’s pasties, I would lick them” but I obviously would not repeat that here, because I need to maintain some level of decorum and respect.

+ Obsessed with Abby letting DeJa shave off her brows. These girls are like 19-21. If you’re not going to shave your brows off on TV at that age when are you going to do it??

+ We learn that Michelle was a swimming champion as a kid but quit because she wanted to dye her hair.

+ Bosco.

+ If you want more drag and Drag Race, I interviewed Amanda Tori Meating about her all trans woman drag show happening tonight and also about FFS and dysphoria.

+ Speaking of FFS, my FFS is finally healing up so I kind of am returning to this recap with All Stars Face. But like a subtle, I’m not a drag queen, I didn’t get filler, level of ASF.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Bosco and Aja

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Bosco

+ Queen I want to sashay: From the next bracket? Tina Burner. But when my partner asked why I couldn’t remember, so maybe I should keep an open mind.

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