Quiz: Which Sad Song With a Dog Motif Are You?

Do you ever feel pathetic and disgusting in your unending loyalty? Do you feel an incessant need to be praised? Do you lash out in fearful aggression when backed into a corner? Then the dog motif may be for you! This craze is currently sweeping queer meme circles, but has been an oft-used resource in art (especially queer art) for much, much longer. The animalistic tension of the dog motif may be so attractive to queers who live in a world where they feel they don’t belong—domesticated against their wildness, longing to break free of it, but also longing to be cared for by a gentler, more commanding hand. Whatever the reason you (yes, you) personally may be invested, this quiz is here to tell you definitively which beloved lesbian track most exemplifies you and your connection to this classic allegory.

Which Sad Song With a Dog Motif Are You?

How do you plan on solving all of your problems?(Required)
Is Taylor Swift a lesbian?(Required)
Who was your queer awakening?(Required)
Favorite One Direction member?(Required)
Favorite Dog Breed(Required)
Which poem using the dog motif do you like best?(Required)
If you had to move somewhere today, where would you move?(Required)
You’re taking your dog for a walk. What’s the fit?(Required)
You just don’t feel like leaving your place today. What are you doing instead?(Required)
What’s your DND character like?(Required)
What playlist are you listening to on a drive to see your long-distance girlfriend?(Required)

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Gabrielle Grace Hogan

Gabrielle Grace Hogan (she/her) received her MFA from the University of Texas at Austin. Her poetry has been published by TriQuarterly, CutBank, Salt Hill, and others, and has been supported by the James A. Michener Fellowship and the Ragdale Foundation. In the past, she has served as Poetry Editor of Bat City Review, and as Co-Founder/Co-Editor of You Flower / You Feast, an anthology of work inspired by Harry Styles. She lives in Austin, Texas. You can find her on Instagram @gabriellegracehogan, her website www.gabriellegracehogan.com, or wandering a gay bar looking lost.

Gabrielle has written 13 articles for us.


    • I need to tell you, you’re all doing dogs wrong:
      Dogs from cat persons perspective:
      Dogs from a dog persons perspective:
      Team players/pack oriented
      Kind with a sprincle of naivete

    • my partner got a Hozier song apparently all about how horny my partner is… while they currently xplore their asexuality 😂
      I got The Antlers, all about making the hard choice to end suffering.
      👀 not us starting couples therapy last week!

  1. Me & My Dog? I’ve never heard of it before. I do like the idea of looking out a spaceship window with an adorable pup by my side (assuming a sci-fi spaceship with artificial gravity so there’s less to worry about with the pup shedding), though.

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