Pride Month Starts Tomorrow So if You Think You Might Be Gay, Now’s the Time To Say It!

Today is the last day of May, which means tomorrow is the first day of June, which means gay people get to be as messy and chaotic as we want for the next 30 days, bitch! If you’re straight, you better shut tf up for the next 30 days, because we don’t wanna hear it! Zip it, heterosexual! Or at least make a concerted effort to change your mind about your straightness. It’s never too late! Maybe watch some gay movies and see how you’re feeling after. You can come out as any letter in the LGBTQIA alphabet soup any time of year, but there’s no better time than on the precipice of Pride!

Unsure if you’re gay? Take the Am I Gay quiz! Ask your gay friends if they think you could be gay! Look back on your childhood journals to see if there are any little gay breadcrumbs indicating latent homosexuality. My childhood journals, for example, are riddled with musings on the famous singer/actress Olivia Newton-John. Why? Because I was gay!

Coming out literally the day before Pride month would be metal as hell. Celebrities love to come out during Pride month, so beat them to the punch! You’ll unlock a whole new social calendar for the month of June, and you’ll have us legacy gays treating you like the sweet baby gay. Everyone loves the sweet baby gay in the group!

National Coming Out Day is inexplicably in October, and while I appreciate that as a Horror Gay, I do think it should actually be today, May 31, the day before Pride month begins! Or maybe today should be a whole new fake holiday…Say Gay Day, perhaps? In any case, I think if you’re thinking you might be a little bit gay then 1. you are probably indeed gay and 2. you should say it today!

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 861 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. “Straight people have to be quiet starting tomorrow.”

    Mooooom, the slurs are silencing me again!!! Where is my cishet breeder month?!?! I’ll silence them back and see how they like it !!1!!!‽!1!one!

    Sorry, I’ve just been dealing with too much of that sort of stupidity lately…

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