Boob(s on Your) Tube: In ‘Pretty Little Liars’ Finale, Luckily Nobody’s Girlfriend Or Boyfriend Is Bloody Rose

Here we are again on Friday, the only day of the week that rhymes with the word “My-day’! It’s been a sleepy summer week for this week of television — especially because we have learned that Netflix robbed us of bisexual chaos on Perfect Match! Can you believe? I hardly can. Also, Kayla reviewed the second season of Wreck, Natalie got into Bridgerton’s sapphic action and Sai wrote about Disco: Soundtrack of a Revolution.


Notes from the TV Team:

+ This week’s episode of All American finally breaks Coop out of the silo she’s been sequestered in and reconnects her with her best friend (Patience is, of course, MIA). The aspiring lawyer (and future manager) is on hand for the culmination of a dream she and Spencer shared as kids…well, sort of: somehow Spencer, a projected top five pick, drops out of the first round of the draft. — Natalie

+ Kristen Kish crowned her first Top Chef this week and, of course, she did it sleeveless.

Kristen Kish, in a matching red halter and pants, applauds the new Top Chef.

Pack it up everyone, the war on sleeves has been won. — Natalie


Pretty Little Liars: Summer School Episode 208: “Chapter Eighteen: Final Exam”

Written by Valerie Anne

Pretty Little Liars Summer School: The Liars on their therapy couch one last time

Love me some Final Girls.

In the season finale, Faran saves Kelly from the pool after encountering Bloody Rose, crossing Kelly’s mother off the list of suspects, because she was locked in their prayer closet. Dr. Sullivan is missing, and now Real Rose Waters is, too.

They start to worry mothers are a specific target, so they check on Tabby’s mom, who’s safe, but received roses. They see on the news that Archie Waters is reported dead, but these Liars are clever, so they don’t believe it and decide to be cautious. They go see Chip’s mother, and the news about Archie seems to have chilled her out. She was also sent roses.

When Noa talks to Jen about their heightening Bloody Rose problem, Jen mentions it seems suspicious that Imogen and Tabby’s boyfriends came out of nowhere at the same time, right before this nonsense started. Noa doesn’t buy it but brings it up to the Liars, who point out that even though she knew Jen before, Jen’s an unknown quantity too. All significant others have alibis for certain Bloody Rose events, but if there is a team-up, that could be explained away. They decide to investigate their SOs, except Mouse; everyone agrees Ash has never done anything wrong in his life. What I loved about this is that they started to bicker, but instead of storming off, they realized they were turning against each other, took a step back and problem-solved. It’s emotional maturity we have yet to see in a band of Liars.

The boys don’t pass their tests when Tabby finds a Davie mask in Christian’s basement, and Imogen finds bodies in the ice cream shoppe freezer. Imogen takes a wrench to Johnny’s head and stuffs him in the freezer, while Tabby ends up knocked out and taken by Bloody Rose.

When they don’t hear from Tabby, the Liars run to the movie theater to find Christian and the Spooky Spaghetti servers. The Reckoning has begun, so Bloody Rose superfans charge the theater and trap them inside.

Meanwhile, Tabby wakes up trapped in a confessional with The Real Rose’s skinned body and she busts out to find a church full of masks and their villains: Wes and Chip’s mother, Mrs. Langsbury. Mrs. Langsbury wants Tabby to say Chip isn’t a rapist, and Wes wants to make a horror movie by live-streaming a snuff film, because it’s “so hard” for white men to break into the industry these days. Supreme eye roll. But Tabby refuses and reiterates her truth about Chip.

Meanwhile, the girls follow Wes’s livestream to Tabby. On the way, they call Jen to have her walk Noa through hotwiring a car, and she says “it would be an honor.”

Wes tries to get Tabby to act scared for his camera by saying there’s no way out, but she launches herself out a window and sprints to a cabin, fighting off Spooky Spaghetti weirdos along the way.

The Liars get to the church too late, Faran kicks Bloody Rose in the face, and they follow the livestream to the cabin. But Wes gets there first and fights Tabby, who runs him through with the pitchfork. When the Liars arrive, they find Tabby in shock, Wes pinned to the wall but alive, and Dr. Sullivan tied up. And finally, the sound of sirens; help is on the way.

Two weeks later, Mrs. Langsbury and Wes are arrested, Spooky Spaghetti is gone, and the Liars are ready to move on. They get matching tattoos that say FGE (“Final Girl Energy”), and celebrate when they find out they all passed their exams. It’s nice to see them experience regular teenage joy.

Of course, nothing is truly over in Millwood. Dr. Sullivan talks to her editor who says she needs the girls’ signoff before they can publish her book, and she calls them narcissists and says that shouldn’t be a problem. Then, as if to punish her for it, Archie Waters appears. She begs for answers about her son as she is stabbed to death.

I, for one, hope the Liars come back for junior year. Until then, have a nice summer!


The Chi 615: “Tower of Terror”

Written by Natalie

Victor explains to Fatima all the reasons she should come home. She's wearing a lavender suit with white v-neck blouse.

It’s Thanksgiving in the Chi…and, in the spirit of the on-screen holiday, I’m trying to think of something to be thankful of about The Chi. Contrary to popular belief, there’s little joy to be derived from pointing out a show’s missteps; I do it in hopes of writers rethinking their approaches and doing better by their queer characters. But this week, I’m thankful for Fatima’s return to our screens…she looks absolutely amazing. More on that in a minute.

Usually, when Roselyn drops by The Chi, she’s the harbinger of chaos but this week, she delivers a warning directly to her husband’s front door. Things are quiet, she says, too quiet, and she encourages Douda to lay low. It’s an oddly intimate scene — Roselyn helps his dress and drags her hands across his body multiple times — but Douda kisses Roselyn on her forehead and brushes aside her concerns. If this is the calm before the storm, he’s set to make it rain.

Later, Roselyn stops by Toni Childs’ bar and echoes her concerns about the forthcoming storm. It’s odd to see Roselyn worked up into a frenzy like this, particularly when there hasn’t been any obvious provocation. Likewise, it’s odd to see Roselyn and Toni Bianca have a tug of war over a man neither of them love and both are using for business reasons. After issuing her warning to Bianca, Roselyn leaves with Serena…only to have her bodyguard pull out her gun and fires at a guy that’s been following them all day. She doesn’t hit anyone but the act draws Roselyn’s ire…she doesn’t want the unwanted attention. Her anger is quickly defused by Serena’s charm…and I’d be enamored if any of this made sense.

Meanwhile, Douda calls Brittany, looking for the information that he paid her to get. Brittany insists that she’s been watching her brother but there’s simply nothing to report. He dismisses her — “your services are no longer required” sounds a lot more ominous when there’s a gun laying on the table — but, in an effort to save herself and to end their spying arrangement, Brittany explains that he should worry less about Bakari and more about someone else in his camp. We don’t get to see her share any information but, presumably, she rats out the lucrative side deal that Nuck made with Douda’s would-be killer. It might be enough to save Brittany with Douda but after word of her arrangement gets back to her brother, Bakari insists that he never wants to speak to his sister again.

Over at Nina’s, LaPorsha makes them both breakfast but acknowledging that the road is calling her. She invites Nina to join her on her next long hauling adventure. Nina’s reluctant: she has a life here in Chicago but she reaches out to her circle of friends to get their perspective. Tracy’s supportive but Jada’s rightfully skeptical, after all Nina just met LaPorsha. But Nina’s looking for support, not persuasion: she wants to finally do something for herself.

There is, of course, little substantive conversation about Lynae, the child she and Dre adopted, the threat her daughter is under, or the upheaval in her grandson’s life. Instead, it’s just “that lesbian sex must be something else ’cause girl, she got you ready to leave town and not look back.” Who cares about sensible storylines: Nina’s going on the road with Da Brat!

But at least Fatima’s back! She joins her mother and older sister for “Monroe Magic Friendsgiving” and they enjoy some fun and easy banter. Unbeknownst to her, Isis extended a Friendsgiving invite to Victor, who shows up and asks Fatima for a few minutes of her time. Alone, Victor admits that he’d never pondered his future much until he met her and now, he can’t imagine a future without her in it. He begs Fatima to come home. She questions his over-commitment to work and his ongoing relationship with Douda. He assures her that he’s already cut back at work and will end his connection to Douda, once and for all, soon. Her concerns assuaged, Fatima agrees to finally come back home.

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Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 409 articles for us.

Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 573 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. Although the quality of the series, especially the queer/lesbian romance, was lower than my expectations, I still liked the series Pretty Little Liars Original Sin. I hope the series will not be canceled and a better third season awaits us.

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