Results for: be the change
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You Need Help: Why Is My Coworker/ Friend/ Crush Pulling Away?
Are you wanting to repair the friendship as it currently stands? Or are you wanting to see if your friend wants more than friendship? Those are very different things!
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You Need Help: How Do I Be a Good Partner to My Trans Girlfriend?
Being too eager or too worried about saying the right thing can be just as alienating as disapproval.
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You Need Help: How Do I Feel More Connected to the Lesbian Community?
This community would be so boring if we all had the same stories. And there’s no such thing as the “right” queer story.
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You Need Help: I Thought We Were Both Switches, but My Girlfriend Won’t Touch Me
It sounds like your idea of your sexual dynamic with your girlfriend isn’t lining up with the reality of it.
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You Need Help: How Do I Stop Focusing on My Ex in Shared Queer Spaces?
Remind yourself that your life is your life and that you don’t need validation from her.
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You Need Help: Your Future In-Laws Won’t Come to Your Wedding
It’s obvious you love your fiancé very much, and want to protect them from any agony the world wants to hurl at them. Unfortunately, you mostly can’t. But here’s what you can do instead.
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You Need Help: I Feel Like a Bad Queer Because I’m Not Good at Being Friends After Breakups
When we’re friends after the breakup, it has felt confusing because everything feels the same to me intimacy and connection-wise, minus the fact that we’re no longer having sex.
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You Need Help: Will I Ever Grow Out Of The Messy Questioning Phase?
Accept the messy questioning phase. It’s the whole point of being alive.
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You Need Help: Trusting Yourself After Leaving an Abusive Relationship
The first thing I want to say is that I’m so sorry you had this experience with someone you loved, who you trusted. You deserve to be treated with respect and honor and grace. Remember that when you feel yourself doubting your heart and mind in the future.
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You Need Help: How Do I Explore Casual Sex If I’m Demisexual?
If you’re feeling sexual desire for friends or if you like the idea of a “friends with benefits” situation, then it seems that most widely-accepted definition of “demisexual” still encompasses your experience. But the more important questions here are: what do you want and why do you want it?
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You Need Help: My Friend Is Late to Everything
“He has been, without fail, late to everything we’ve ever planned. His tardiness ranges from one to three hours. Sometimes, I wait an hour and politely ask “what’s your ETA?” and he replies with “Sorry, I’m just going to do my hair and 15 other things and I’ll be on my way!””
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You Need Help: What If My Mom Hates My Girlfriend?
Of course you’re being thoughtful about if, when and how you’ll introduce your girlfriend to your family — given your mom’s previous actions, there’s a chance she won’t grant you and your girlfriend the respect your relationship deserves.
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Assume Everyone Thinks You’re Hot, I’m Serious
The confident vibe you get from me? The “naturally sexy” way you (might) think I am? It’s not natural at all. It’s a choice; it can be learned. Here’s how!
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You Need Help: My First Girlfriend Broke Up With Me — Can We Be Friends?
Not every relationship is meant to last, and just because it ended doesn’t mean you didn’t learn and grow from it.
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#PolyamoryProblems: How Do I Know When It’s Time To Break Up?
The idea of breaking up, and/or transitioning your relationship to platonic as somehow a failure or throwing something away is one of those pesky ideas we need to unlearn.
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You Need Help: How Do I Get Over Breaking My Ex’s Heart?
Breaking up with someone does not make you an asshole.
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You Need Help: I Feel Left Out By My New Friends
Don’t be afraid to say what you want — meaningful, ongoing friendship. There are people out there who are looking for the same thing.
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You Need Help: Your Straight Partner Is a Great Ally – But His Parents Aren’t
Setting up boundaries around family members can be a complicated and painful thing, but doing so without the support of your partner will likely be more difficult, and could potentially create some challenging situations for the two of you to navigate.
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#PolyamoryProblems: Opening Your Relationship 101
Welcome to the first installment of #PolyamoryProblems, a new advice column on Autostraddle. There are countless things I wish I had known before I started out, and lucky for you I’m here to tell you the things that will hopefully make your transition into polyamorous relationships much smoother.
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You Need Help: My Friend Has a Crush on Me
“She promised not to make things awkward between us, since she knows I’m not available, and hoped it wouldn’t make things awkward on my end – but here’s the problem. It is awkward!”