NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Responsive and Spontaneous

Feature image of Ruby Riots and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 301. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

“The impact of an out trans woman peeling off every layer of silk and glitter to reveal her body to a packed room of screaming fans cannot be understated, and it’s exactly what Jolene, tonight’s show, is all about,” write Isabella Kohn and Calvin Kasulke on L.A.’s only trans-inclusive strip club night:

“‘I’m trying to normalize the attraction to trans women, to put it bluntly,’ says Fina China over a cup of tea near the West Hollywood dance studio where she works. I ‘want to change the narrative that says the attraction to trans women is just a fetish. I want people to come to my show and see women of all bodies, colors and expressions they can be attracted to, and for those attractions to be celebrated and welcomed, no matter what they are. Jolene is all about owning your body, being able to celebrate it and enjoy other people celebrating it, too. That’s the type of environment that I try to nurture.'”

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 304

Stop claiming that vibrators were invented to cure hysteria. Hallie Lieberman, author of Buzz, writes about how the often-repeated history of the vibrator is wrapped in patriarchy, and how the real history of the vibrator look more like this:

“The true story is that the use of vibrators became widespread only when they were marketed to the general public, both men and women, as domestic and medical appliances in the early 1900s. Ads featuring men and women, babies and older people, promised vibrators could do everything from eliminating wrinkles to curing tuberculosis. When doctors did use vibrators on women, they assiduously avoided touching their clitorises. ‘The greatest objection to vibration thus applied is that in overly sensitive patients it is liable to cause sexual excitement,’ the gynecologist James Craven Wood wrote in 1917. If, however, he continued, ‘the vibratode is kept well back from the clitoris, there is but little danger of causing such excitement.’

It was female consumers who embraced their erotic potential — covertly at first, until the early 1970s, when the radical feminist Betty Dodson began openly using vibrators as sexual devices in her masturbation workshops.”

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter in Crash Pad Series episode 280

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Sexual desire is often responsive instead of spontaneous and that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong:

“[T]here is a broad spectrum of sexual desire in sexually healthy women. Some are very aware of sexual feelings from minor, as well as obvious, sexual stimuli throughout their day, and others are less aware of similar feelings until they are sexually engaged. And both ‘responsive’ and ‘spontaneous’ forms of sexual desire are equally valid. Fortunately, more recent definitions of sexual disorders focus on difficulties with getting aroused, or difficulties having pleasure from sexual stimulation. No longer does simply being distressed about not thinking about sex in-between times of sexual activity, and not having a specific sexual urge or desire at the outset of activity, merit a diagnosis of sexual disorder.”

Tinder is adding a panic button.

Here are a few resources on sex and chronic pain.

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You know what’s really sexy? Preparing for climate disaster.

If you get a period, ibuprofen can reduce menstrual bleeding by around 20 to 40 percent — not the 50 percent cited on Twitter, but not bad?

Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix

Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix in Crash Pad Series episode 278

Are you bisexual or otherwise non-monosexual and facing some bi-erasure in your relationship? Sex therapist Vanessa Marin advises a question-asker who came out as bi to her boyfriend and didn’t get the reaction she was hoping for:

“I hope that with time and effort, your boyfriend can realize that your sexual identity deserves his utmost respect. However, there’s always a chance that no matter how much time you give him and how understanding you are, he may not get to that point — and ultimately, you’re the only person who can make the call about whether or not this is a deal-breaker for you. If you’re asking for my advice, however, I think that if he can’t acknowledge and validate something as central as your sexual identity, he doesn’t deserve to be with you. While that’s a last resort scenario, I want you to know that you are worthy of that unconditional acknowledgment and love.”

For further reading, here’s Autostraddle’s “You Need Help: You’re Bisexual and Your Girlfriend Wishes You Weren’t” and also “We See You: An Open Thread for Bisexual Women Dating Men.”

Maggie McMuffin and Tender Furiosa

Maggie McMuffin and Tender Furiosa in Crash Pad Series episode 295

Sunday sex is great.

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The UK porn block might be back on.

Some light had been shed on the vagina candle.

Try being earnest, why not.

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 1019 articles for us.

1 Comment

  1. Trans strip club? Damn! I danced for a few years in Detroit, at very straight clubs and gay bars, and I only knew one other out trans woman who performed regularly. I would have LOVED a space like this, with this kind of community support. I hope they can keep this going.

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