Girls Are Pretty B*tches Who Can’t Hold a Drink, Should be Feminist Warriors Instead

WHAT FEMINISTS WANT: There’s been a big fight in Australian media about the role of feminism in society over the past week and Ruby Murray is gonna explain that shit and then straighten that all out for you in “What feminists want,” and really you should read it: “You have to have a remarkable lack of imagination to look at the world and not see the possibility for something much better. And if you can imagine a better, more just world, then not to act on that vision is unforgiveable.” (@eureka street)

DRUNK LUNCH: The DoubleX staff drinks like Mad Men for a day to see how much they get accomplished. Here at Autostraddle, we have conducted a similar experiment although our working hours are generally a bit later than the Mad Men. So you know, take a look around our site and let us know what you think.

PRETTY WOMEN: Grown-ass women: still apparently unable to be friends with each other – a lady writer at The Frisky says pretty girls are bad friends. A lady writer at says that the other lady writer is confusing “pretty girls” with “models.” I think they’re all talking about Davone’s girlfriends from Gimme Sugar, and I’ve never had an issue with models specifically, does anyone have a martini or a sword or a little feminist beanie baby or something please thank you. They’re advertising a Snuggie on TV right now in leopard print, what the hell is happening to America. Anyhow. (@salon)

MORE THAN ONE WAY TO BE AN ASSHOLE: Britain’s Next Top Christian Model: MOL Models have good posture, know how to pose, have a signature walk, and LOVE JESUS. (@salon)teeth_dvd_box_art

RIGHT HERE ON AUTOSTRADDLE: Check out Norwich’s Clutter City, with Nude Magazine, egg cups, and jewelery for everyone!

SEX ED: When Texas realizes abstinence-only isn’t working, you know something’s up: Texas currently has the third-highest teen birth rate in the country and “the highest rate of repeat teen births.” It also leads the nation in the amount of government money it spends on abstinence-only education. (@think progress)

TEETH: Also … this is unrelated to ladies like the rest of this fix, but “although spending on dental services is less than 4.5 percent of health care expenditures, a greater percentage comes out of patients’ pockets. Whereas only 10.3 percent of physician costs, 3.3 percent of hospital care, and 26.8 percent of nursing-care expenses were paid out-of-pocket in 2007, Americans paid 44.2 percent of dental bills themselves.” Also, there’s a really interesting part about how orthodontia has become an expected investment in America now. (@slate)

VIRGIN BIRTHS: Now everyone can be a pretend virgin for the low low price of $15 and death: A leading Egyptian scholar has demanded that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the country should face the death penalty. (@bbc news)

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3228 articles for us.


  1. yay dentistry!! err, well. totally not surprised that orthodontics and i’m sure whitening as well are seen as expected investments, but frankly those are mostly elective cosmetic procedures, not to be confused with essential treatment of disease, mostly. so it can’t really be equated with being expensive the same way that a necessary root canal is expensive, social expectations aside.
    ultimately it comes down to the fact that combining health and profit makes for ethical headaches.

    hmm i’m slightly concerned that i missed most of the aussie feminist debate, where have i been?! it comes up every so often though. anyway this is why autostraddle is awesome.

    • I have A LOT of feelings about orthodontia, and even more after reading that article. I did like what they said about prevention though. I think America is out of control! We totally judge people’s worth & success by how straight and white everyone’s teeth is, but no one wants to discuss the fact that braces are not necessary! I think that’s part of America’s health care problem — if we want everyone to have free medical care, or any medical care at all, we need to stop judging each other based on how straight someone’s teeth is, or if they have perfect skin — these things cost money! That’s another difference between us and Europeans.

      I missed the Aussie feminist debate too! But it sounds so very serious.

      • thing is, the people who can afford braces and whitening are not the people who can’t afford basic care, so it actually makes sense that insurance doesn’t cover much for these more cosmetic procedures. i don’t know how much pressure there is in the US to have braces for the people who straight up can’t afford it? do people take out loans?
        also re: seriousness of feminist debate – started in a tabloid-y newspaper no one wanting at least the pretense of objectivity reads, so don’t sweat it

    • Mon, I wouldn’t worry too much – it was mostly in the Herald Sun. And personally when I hear ‘Herald Sun’ and ‘feminist debate’ in the same sentence it just makes nonsense.

      • haha yes. i tuned out after the whole women in parliament thing, like oh yeah having an unequal number of asked questions is a feminist outrage!! whatevs just do your job, julie bishop

      • I had a genuine moment of insecurity and self-loathing today when I realized that one of my front teeth is still crooked even though I had braces for like four years, like I let down both my orthodontist and my parents and MYSELF. the end. feelings about orthodontia out.

        • I had braces for 5 years and now I live in fear that somehow my teeth will get knocked out and my parents will have wasted $6000. Then I’ll have to pay for a fake tooth.

          • i had braces and then broke my front tooth on a 40 a couple of months ago. that’s all i have to say about that.

          • ok but can we agree that if you are going to put $6000 to waste that is the most badass way to do it? turns out pretty b*tches CAN hold a drink. represent.

          • I never had braces but I did get a retainer when I was 7 that I wore for maybe two weeks and then everyone forgot about it. No one saw it again until I was 11 and put it on and it got stuck, really, really stuck.

  2. OK, I’m just going to throw it out there my sapphicly or somewhat sapphicly inclined lades… so don’t get pissed. But I kind of agree that on an AVERAGE, I think lades of the hotter persuasion are a little more bitchy and have a harder time getting along with other hot lades because they take people’s admiration for granted and are used to being able to get what they want. I have also found (through hours of “research” and lady observation) that pretty girls care more about there looks, which seems kind of counter intuitive and greedy but whatevs, because they are used to people complimenting them on their looks, thus causing them to be hyper-focused on their appearance; This leads to being jealous of the other hot lades and thus a cattius fightius ensues.

    • I don’t know if it’s the same for other people, but I tend to be more forgiving towards beautiful women. It’s not something I condone, but I’m like “oh you’re so hot it’s okay if you’re a little bitchy.”

      • yeah not to mention a little bitchiness is kind of hot. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and confidence is hhot. I like ’em SASSY

  3. Amen on the sassy ladies!
    P.S. Is that Teeth poster/picture from the movie with that one girl… ya know? With teeth in her va-jay-jay? And she bites off dudes pee-wees? Tell me I’m not crazy.

  4. I hate othodontia, they fucked up my trumpet embouchure and now I’m like a year behind my playing level and I’m majoring in trumpet.

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