Gal Pal Watch: Is Kristen Stewart Single Or What?

It’s been a busy week for anonymous sources in Hollywood, what with all the tongue-wagging and speculation about Kristen Stewart and Alicia Cargile. Although the two confirmed gal pals used to appear in public often, dressed comfortably, sometimes holding hands, boldly showing the world how friendly they were towards one another, it seems that the pair haven’t been snapped by paparazzi in weeks. Because Kristen has made it abundantly clear to the press how much she enjoys having her private life dissected by tabloids, it’s awfully surprising that the pair would suddenly start keeping things so low-key. (Ed note: this is sarcasm.)

Artist's rendering of Alicia and Kristen reveling in the spotlight

Artist’s rendering of Alicia and Kristen reveling in the spotlight

According to the tasteful reporters at Radar, Kristen and Alicia appear to have amicably ended their relationship, citing Stewart’s busy schedule of sulking, scowling and hanging out with wolves as the main cause of the breakup.

A source tells Radar, “They have a lot of love for each other and they always will, but Alicia does not want to be a part of her jet-setting life anymore. They had come to an understanding that this could simply just be a case of the right person, but wrong time.”

As we all know, there is simply nothing worse than being with a partner who expects you to jet-set all the damn time! “I’m sorry, babe, but I don’t think I can deal with another party on yet another boring yacht. I’m so over all the champagne on the private plane, can’t we just stay home and watch Empire or something?” Come to think of it, they do seem to spend an awful lot of time walking around LAX together…

Other publications go on to speculate that there might be a third party involved, since Kristen Stewart cheated on a person once and it was a whole thing and clearly she can’t be trusted to stay loyal to any partner ever again.

Later, Enstars followed up with yet another anonymous source (a very lucrative field in the greater Los Angeles area), this time with a firm rebuttal.

“Kristen and Alicia are first of all best friends and as far as them ending their relationship, it’s absolute nonsense. Kristen would never end her relationship with someone over a busy work schedule anyway. She has always made her relationship with Alicia a priority and they have a very smooth, understanding relationship.”

Phew. We here in the Autostraddle Vapid Fluff department are deeply invested in the continued romance between these two, and we can only pray that their love burns eternal. If there’s any justice in the world, the pair will emerge from their presumably very sexy hideaway, beanies a-slouched, lattes firmly in hand, ready to awkwardly avoid attention from the adoring public. Guys, I’m so sorry we’re like this. Godspeed, you crazy kids.

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 435 articles for us.

47 Comments

  1. Kristen has never been in a romantic relationship with Alicia. They are only friends and Kristen is NOT a lesbian. She may have cheated on Rob but he also cheated on her first with Katy Perry and even now he is cheating on his fiancee twigs. I can only hope that she and Taylor become a couple. He is such a good guy and would be good for her. She is such a beautiful talented young woman and I wish her only the best.

  2. It seems clear to me that Kristen and Alicia have a Schrödinger’s Relationship where, if it is not observed and obsessed over constantly by hordes of paparazzi and celebrity commentators, then they are in fact still together and broken up at the same time.

    Quantum lesbianism is real.

  3. FINALLY real hard hitting investigative journalism that changes lives for the better. My life was losing purpose not seeing pap pics of these two sweetie’s getting coffee every effing day. I will henceforth seek solace in my charity work and friends. So long girls 🙂

  4. I remember reading back in 2014, in The Stir, a statement by Kristen saying she wasn’t gay but if she were she’d admit it. I couldn’t figure out why the rumor took on a life of it’s own that she was gay. She supports gay rights. Alicia is a producer, and she has a partner. (re: twitter) She was helping Kristen with some project, thus the morning walks for coffee, which got crazy. I think this whole thing has been misconstrued. I see it as Kristen reacting to the press because they were so obsessive following her every move, more than they do now. She has been single minded about pouring her effort into her career and apparently it’s paid off. Kudos to her for working on herself, and not thinking she had to focus on a romance. She recently said her breakup killed her. So she had the sense to pull herself together and come out a whole person. She’s doing fantastic. So good for her!

  5. …I’m sorry but I just don’t think stuff like this is okay. If Kristen isn’t straight and the press is constantly trying to snoop into her personal life to see if she’s single or has a girlfriend, it’s actually putting her in danger by essentially outing her to the world when she clearly doesn’t want to be out. And, at the least, it’s disrespectful as hell to her wishes.

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