Lily’s Team Pick:
I first read Katie Heaney’s “My Period Takes Me Shopping” a month ago when I was extraordinarily PMS-y. Like playing Adele’s “Someone Like You” on the guitar/piano and singing the lyrics to myself all day type of PMS-y. After I read the piece I laughed and then I cried and then I did the weird laugh/cry combo where you’re not quite sure which one you are doing because you have SO MANY FEELINGS. It is now a month after that initial read and here I am, having the same laugh/cry/Adele problem.
Some highlights of the article:
“Together we headed to the mall. My period tried to steer me into Forever 21 because it’s a valueless skank who doesn’t care that their clothing is ripped off from independent designers or that their owners secretly paste Bible verses onto their bags. It was all, ‘You need some clothes for going out! Except you pretty much never go out because barely anyone likes you!’ I redirected us to Express, which is another good place for purchases you’ll come to regret within a week, unless you’re presently a popular sixth-grader.”
“I finally convinced my period that we should leave the mall. We walked to my car, hooked up my iPod, and turned on a playlist specially demanded by my period — a three-song rotation: “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Céline Dion, “If I Were a Boy” by Beyoncé and “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis. The Trifecta of Tears. Needless to say, it was going to be a pretty emotional drive. I headed home, but my period shouted, ‘Take the next exit! We’re going to Target.’ I rolled my eyes; I should have seen this coming.”
I’m going to go back to playing sad songs on my guitar and looking at pictures of puppies now.