Faking It Episode 210 Recap: I Was Happy Just To Share A Cardboard Castle With You

Welcome to the tenth recap of the second season of Faking It, a high-stakes war story from the same network that brought you The Ashlee Simpson Show.


We open in the cool, calm living room of Chez Fawcett, where Amy’s descended from a miserable sleep session to find her mother serving up Sympathy French Toast ’cause Karma just dropped off her box. Not the vagina kind of box. The kind of box that has a unicorn and half of a “best friends” necklace in it. Okay, so, kind of a vagina-ish box. Regardless!

Fuck, she returned the dildos

Fuck, she returned the dildos

“You two have more fights than Madison Square Garden,” says Farrah. “It’ll blow over.” When Amy explains that she’s in the doghouse for playing catch with Liam’s bone, Farrah suggests she find a new best friend. Yup, Amy broke “the cardinal rule of friendship,” which’s probs similar to breaking the rules of feminism in that the rule is “don’t sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend.” BUT THEY WEREN’T GIRLFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND YET WHEN IT HAPPENED!!! WORDS MEAN THINGS. WHY HAS THIS FACT ESCAPED THE WRITERS OF THIS WEEK’S EPISODE.

Oh no...

Oh fuck…

Somebody broke my heart necklace!

Somebody broke my heart necklace!

Amy insists that Karma and Amy are soulmates to whom the normal rules don’t apply and that they’re gonna spend the rest of their lives together! Farrah kindly pretends like there’s a relatively plump chance of that happening.

It's okay sweetheart, there'll be a brand-new episode of Serial next week, we just have to hold tight

It’s okay sweetheart, there’ll be a brand-new episode of Serial next week, we just have to hold tight


We mercifully glide back over to the gorgeous green lawns of Hester Hippie Love Pray Eat Goddess Circle High School For Homos, where Shane’s pretending to interview Liam for some kind of scholarship that’ll get him off campus next semester. Shane asks Liam why he deserves this Fellowship.

Liam: Well, my girlfriend dumped me, she hates me so much she metaphorically killed me, things are unbearable at home since I told everyone that my sister is my mother, so I think I deserve to get the hell out of town next semester.
Shane: Okay, I think the one I wrote for you is better.

Are those ants crawling towards my bologna sandwich?

Are those ants crawling towards my bologna sandwich?

Meanwhile in Shaneland, Duke’s still not texting but he is making red carpet appearances with his new girlfriend who I hope is a lesbian. Also, Duke’s taken his beard to church which I think is against the Ten Commandments, even though my gay best friend used to take me to church all the time and so far we’re both still alive.

Drake's putting out a Christmas album called December 25? C'mon I don't believe that for a minute!

Drake’s putting out a Christmas album called “December 25”? C’mon I don’t believe that for a minute!

Anyhow, Liam suggests Shane throw himself into something else, like how Liam’s really into this fellowship! I’d suggest that he eat his dinner in a bathtub, go to sex clubs, watch freaky people getting it on, binge on all his twinkies, throw up in the tub and then go to sleep. But nobody ever takes my advice.

You think diaper rash cream will do the trick? Are you sure?

You think diaper rash cream will do the trick? Are you sure?

Cross-campus, Lauren’s herding her minions to assist her with her latest passion project: becoming student body president!

Lauren: I’ve been distracted lately from my goal of turning Hester into a school I’d want to go to. But I’m back on track now and I need 100 signatures to qualify.

Here. 740 pages of Lauren/Amy fanfic. Read it and weep.

Here. 740 pages of Lauren/Amy fanfic. Read it and weep.

Leila and Lisbeth politely remind her that her last run for public office — homecoming queen — only made people “hate her more.” Lauren agrees but says she just needs a touchy-feely issue to get her in the gate where she can then unleash her true colors.

Do you wanna tell her that the Drake Christmas album post was a hoax or should I

Do you wanna tell her that the Drake Christmas album post was a hoax or should I

Lauren asks her minions to declare what she cares about and they’ve got only one item on that list: THEO.

Lauren: CarED about, Lisbeth. Past tense. That asshole is dead to me. He and that slutty bitch Brandy are perfect for each other.

Speaking of That Slutty Bitch Brandy…


Cut to an interrogation room, where Theo’s busting Brandy’s chops to get the down low on who’s making the best brownies ever for the students of Hesteria High. Because he’s an undercover cop, DUH.

So what you're telling me is that you are absolutely certain there isn't a pay phone at the Best Buy?

So what you’re telling me is that it can’t possibly be true that Adnan called Jay from a pay phone at the Best Buy?

Dude, there is DEFINITELY not a single fucking Phone Booth at that Best Buy

Dude, there were DEFINITELY zero public phones at that Best Buy.


Cut to the cafeteria, where Karma’s giving Amy the silent treatment at the cookie station. Amy assures the lunch lady she’s actively working towards mending this relationship.

Hi. I'm Karma Ashcroft. Like many of you, I sometimes struggle with vaginal itchiness and dryness.

Hi. I’m Karma Ashcroft. Like many of you, I sometimes struggle with vaginal itchiness and dryness.

Reagan calls Amy from inside a tent where they could be fingerfucking but aren’t because the world is a cold dark sad place. Apparently Reagan and Amy have plans to go camping this weekend but Reagan senses something hesitant in Amy’s voice…

Reagan: Am I moving too fast? Camping is one step away from a U-Haul.
Amy: No, and I’m still gonna be there! I — I — I got in a fight with Karma.
Reagan: You guys are always getting in fights! Can’t this wait until we get back?
Amy: No, it can’t. I need a little bit of time to smooth things over, please.
Reagan: You have until six. After that I’m leaving. With or without you.

Looks like things are already going really well with these two! I hope Reagan brought a book and a flashlight.

Wait, I thought you said I was the first girl you'd ever used that harness with

Wait, I thought you said I was the first person you ever used that WeVibe with?


We then cut to the Art Studio, a.k.a., Little Liam’s Playroom, where Xander from Buffy is interviewing Liam for the Fancy Artist Faraway Fellowship. I wonder if Xander still runs with the Scooby Gang or if he’s doing art full-time now.

It's a nice try, kid, but I've seen better Xander/Willow wallpapers on Deviant Art

Nice try, kid, but honestly I’ve seen way better Xander/Willow art instillations on tumblr

Regardless,  Xander’s unimpressed with Liam’s Tinker-Toy tribute to Karma and Liam’s inability to explain the intention behind his art.

Liam: I don’t have intention, okay? I’ve been through a lot of crap and making art is the only thing that makes me feel okay for one second. Is that real enough for you?
Xander: It hit me right here. (touches his heart, kinda) Too bad your piece doesn’t.

DAMN GIRL


Elsewhere on this sunny educational campus, Lauren’s interviewing with Vashti about her campaign platform to abolish the grade system. Aw, that’ll make college applications SO much fun for the children! Regardless, Vashti doesn’t believe Lauren’s being genuine, which wounds Lauren right in the soulchunk, but also she doesn’t care ’cause she’s running unopposed.

HEre

Lick my cell phone and see what happens, please.

NOT SO FAST! Turns out that Shane’s new project isn’t crochet or croquet, as I’d suggested, but running for Student Body President! His campaign manager Wendy says the campaign’s going real well so far; he’s got universal brand awareness and his likeability is through the roof! In fact, everybody wants to be his best friend! That’s probs because he’s gay.

We're giving out free puppies to the entire student body, soooo....

We’re giving out free puppies to the entire student body, so good luck, losers.


Cut to the Hippie Lovetruck Foodsmash, where Karma’s darling parents are unknowingly enjoying their last breaths of free-range air before the arrest we’ve all anticipated takes place. Amy’s pressing Molly to get Karma to talk to her, but then Karma shows up to occupy Molly’s final moments of freedom by telling her to refuse service to this “unruly customer.” Clearly she’s never worked at The Olive Garden, she’d have a much different standard for unruly customers.

It's okay,

It’s okay, we all need to eat a little bit of gluten sometimes

But sooner than Molly can say “what happened to you two?” the po-pos show up, sirens blazing. Theo then struts out of the cop car in slow-motion, his badge blazing in the hot summer sun as he informs Molly and Lucas that he’s bringing them in for distribution of illegal drugs.

We're so sorry baby we just couldn't afford to pay for cable anymore and torrents seemed so harmless...

We’re so sorry baby we just couldn’t afford to pay for cable anymore and torrents seemed so harmless…

Karma watches helplessly as her parental units are herded into a cop car.

Karma: This is gonna get cleared up right? I mean you guys aren’t drug dealers, are you?
Molly: Technically…yes.
Lucas: What made those special brownies special?
Karma: Love?
Lucas: Your Mom and I don’t view weed as a drug, I mean to us it’s medicine.
Molly: We only provide it to those in need. We mostly sell to nursing homes.

Hey this is awkward but could you check if there's some kale stuck in my back teeth? It's driving me nuts.

Hey this is awkward but could you check if there’s some kale stuck in my back teeth, it’s driving me nuts and your Mom’s in cuffs

Karma gets arrested too, just for funsies. Amy rushes to defend Karma but Karma would rather go to jail than let Amy do her a favor. Thus Karma is whisked away just as Shane and Liam roll up.

I can't believe those bitches spray-painted WHITE MALE TEARS all over my car AGAIN

I can’t believe those bitches spray-painted WHITE MALE TEARS all over my car AGAIN

Liam: I thought we were friends and friends don’t arrest friends’ girlfriend’s parents!
Shane: Ex-Girlfriends! But yeah, I knew you were bad news, Theo.
Theo: Look guys, it’s not personal. That juice truck was a drug front. The Aschcrofts are criminals and Karma might be too —

Liam rushes to defend his ex’s honor in the form of a punch to Theo’s face but Shane gets all up in there, blocking him from taking a swing, lest he end up in jail like the rest of them.

HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE

HE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE

Amy, inspired, punches Theo in the face! Now she can go to jail like the rest of them.

FUCK I USED MY FISTING HAND

FUCK I USED MY FISTING HAND

I’m already having anxiety about Amy being stuck in jail, unable to call Reagan to cancel the camping trip, just like Shane couldn’t call Cherie when she went to jail. While I die in my Xanaxless lagoon of irrational fears, Theo rubs his sore cheek, the cop car pulls away, and Theo looks up to see Lauren standing there, sad and mad and rad and confused and alone.

CAPTION

This is just like the Kelly Clarkson song, “Walk Away”

Theo says her name but she’s already crying, and now she’s already walking away.


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Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2675 articles for us.

36 Comments

  1. I have no queers in my house and also very little alcohol and yet here I am. Opposites really do attract.

    (I kid, I kid)

    But bajeezus this episode was exciting. All that dream sex and dream hate and super quick fight-solving skills. They’ve really been working on this conflict resolution stuff.
    But not how to explain themselves? “I wanted to hurt you”? What? I thought they were both just feeling angry and alone and super drunk. Why is that not the first thing you say? “I was not in a proper state of mine!” Quickly followed by the reminder that Liam and Karma weren’t actually dating and a promise to never, ever do it again. How is that not the logical thing?
    Bajeezus.

  2. 1. RIESE – AWESOME RECAP AS ALWAYS!!
    2. Riese you were right about Theo being an undercover cop – I mean, I never doubted you but I was like “Riese was right!!”
    3. Totally agree that the We Wanted To Hurt You thing does not make sense at all. At All. And Karma forgiving Amy that fast? I mean IDK how long it should be for it to be valid but I agree with Kat’s comment about super quick fight-solving skills but not the explaining part.
    4. It broke my heart to see Lauren crying. Srsly. I wanted to give her a hug.
    5. I was shocked with Duke’s announcement – I mean I kinda felt he was gonna come out, but to declare his love for Shane, was a surprise, pleaseant or not, I’m not sure, I mean, okay Shane deserves a serious love life but IDK if it’s Shane. Anyhow..
    6. Wendy – is she the girl from The Glee Project who starred in her girlfriend’s music video, the girlfriend being the cute one with the pixie cut and kinda look like that kid Bieber?
    7. I had to pause the episode when I saw Julie Goldman because I was so happy when I saw THE Julie Goldman, and SHE. IS. HILARIOUS. Wish her scenes were longer (they should cast her as a regular, like maybe she will turn out to be Reagan’s family or something!)
    8. I also got confused with that dream sequence. But it’s a good cliff hanger….

    Awesome season all in all – loved Lauren’s backstory and Amy getting real lezzy kisses with hot Reagan… Can’t wait for the next seasons!!

  3. Really, I’m the only one who gets the I wanted to hurt you thing? Like that’s been obvious to me since it first happened. And yeah technically Karma and Liam weren’t together, but Amy knew how Karma felt about Liam and slept with anyway/deliberately because of that.

    • They even set it up in season 1 that Amy lashes out at people without thinking when they hurt her. This time Karma wasn’t there to talk her down like she usually is, so, Amy did the one thing (person) she knew would hurt Karma the most.

  4. I too thought that the last sequence was confusing, but from what I gathered on Tumblr (and it has been confirmed by the writers) both the Karmy kiss and the Amy and Liam scene were a Karma’s dream. They could have made it clearer since the important part is, I think, that Karma is dreaming of kissing Amy, while that she’s has trust issues about Liam and Amy was pretty obvious already.

    Lauren and Theo broke my heart.

    Now Shane is even being rewarded for outing people. Stop it, it’s not okay. He will never learn.

    (On an unrelated note does someone here watch Carmilla? I HAVE FEELINGS.)

    • Totally agree about Shane. I actually liked him in season 1 but he is fast becoming one of my most hated characters because he keeps outing people. The writers seriously need to show the consequences of him doing that because it’s not ok.

      And Carmilla, SO MANY FEELINGS. I’m refusing to believe that it’s real and I think the writers and Natasha are trolling too hard for it to be real.

    • I don’t think the important part of the dream is that Karma was dreaming of kissing Amy – I think what was happening was Karma was dreaming about Amy dreaming about herself kissing Karma while actually kissing Reagan. So it plays into what we’ve already seen from Karma before – it’s not that she’s attracted to Amy, but she does get jealous when Amy experiences feelings for people other than her.

      Also I agree about Shane. I legitimately thought that Duke was going to come out but also give a huge middle finger to Shane for outing him, but nope. Shane still wins. I feel like that’s quite what’s to be expected with the gay male character being a mouthpiece for the gay male show runner (based off of similarly unfortunate experiences with Glee.)

  5. I highly doubt everything is as resolved as it seems. I think they’re lulling us into a false sense of security. Unless they really weren’t planning for this show to take off and they’re wrapping things up so that they can start over with a longer term plan/vision.

    My guess is, if that’s not the case, is that:

    1. Karma’s dream will pretty much undo everything she said. The tentative peace she had with Amy and the even more complicated sex without actually forgiving, will dissolve into a pit of negativity as she grapples with her own insecurity and immaturity. Which has really been the heart of thing the entire time.

    2. I think Duke, and more so his father, is smart. He was outed and to take the focus off of his orientation (or the gay sex part), my guess is the game plan was to spin it into a love story, make it a cause. I doubt Duke will be waiting for Shane with open arms. Shane might actually have to work for someone for once and maybe even apologize *gasps*.

    3. Theo may come back. It’s clear he likes her. (While I like the actors together, I have to say I can’t really approve of a 20 year old and a high school student, so I hope they just close the book on this one. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I wish they had made Reagan a minor too. She could have gone to a different high school. It’s weird.)

    I think they went for subtle cliff hangers. Where we never really got to see the end of these moments.

  6. Something occurred to me as I was reading this recap. Karma hates Amy and Liam for betraying her. I mean HATE hates. Amy, her best friend for forever, has work, and beg, and plead, to get back into Karma’s life. Not good graces, she still has to work harder for that. All Liam has to do is do a man-favor and (BOOM!) Karma willing to make the beast with two backs for him.

    • A. I think Liam was right in that Amy is first for Karma, so by that logic it hurts more because Amy is the one she trusts more and loves more. Liam’s a boyfriend and she’s inside she might believe that relationship would end at some point anyway. Where her and Amy she truly believed would be BFFs forever.

      B. I don’t think she forgave Liam. I take her word at face value. She had sex with him cause she wanted to and she knew she could. I think him doing her that favor might have made her feel better about wanting to have sex with him, but that’s it.

    • Also Liam did beg and plead pretty hard. It’s Amy who hasn’t done that yet. She spent most of the previous episode going along with the “Liam made me do it” narrative Karma wanted to hear.

      Not that I think Amy or Liam need to beg or plead.

  7. ” Shane, stunned, immediately flees Young Love Artspace probably to go have buttsex with his robust boyfriend and he’s so propelled by this situation that he doesn’t acknowledge Karma, who’s entering the Soulart Sauna as he departs.”

    The writing in these always kills me I don’t even watch the show this is more than enough :’D

  8. 1. i am just really impressed that you posted this with 10+ people in your house
    2. can we all please just refer to karma’s dream as a “jealousy sandwich?”
    3. my housemate and i definitely spent thanksgiving dinner performing a puppet show with common household objects acting out the plot of faking it for our guests, so. liam was a walnut. shane was a ritz cracker. just thought you should know.

  9. I’m curious how the show is going to deal with the non disclosure agreement that Shane signed. Also I really hope the show continues it’s theme of quickly resolved conflicts with Amy and Reagan. I just want Amy to tell her about the Liam thing and for Reagan to be cool with it.

  10. I kinda hated this episode? The timing of white-girl-punching-a-cop with no repercussions really soured the whole episode for me. Duke saying he was in love with Shane was such bullshit, and Shane once again being vindicated for outing someone was bullshit.

    Amy’s speech in jail was good, and I loved seeing Julie, though. Very glad to hear the end sequence cleared up because that was confusing as hell. I thought the first two scenes were Amy’s dream, and then the scenes with Liam were Karma’s dream.

  11. I was a bit confused by the end, I thought it was Amy dreaming about her and Karma kissing, and then Karma dreaming about Liam and Amy, anyway, I was almost sad because I thought that Amy was thinking about Karma while she was with Reagan because I think Reagan is so cute, and she would make Amy happy! But then there is those feels that I’ve because Karma is just ugh. I just want Amy to be happy, once for all.

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