Creepy 1996 Mac Guy, New Chrome for OSX-Kind Of Oh Yeah, Obama

1996 PC GUY WAS WAY HOTTER/COOLER THAN MAC GUY

Actually, I still think John Hodgman is hotter than that cheeky little Mac asshole, but that’s a me-thing. It doesn’t have to be a you-thing. Regardless, the exactly parallel 1996 Apple ad campaign featured a hilarious Seinfield-lookalike douchebag wearing jeans with a jean jacket. I’ll take regular ol’ 1996 PC business guy any day over this smarmy shaggy-haired Mac perv.

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GOOGLE CHROME FOR MAC, FINALLLLY

Google finally busts out a Mac OSX version of its speedy browser,  Chrome. It’s in beta still, and is apparently quite wacky, but I look forward to it getting un-wackified. Chrome for Mac is missing some important stuff, like a bookmarks manager for instance (wtf, Google?!), so I think I’ll hold off for now in spite of being a big fan.

My #1 reason I love Chrome for PC is because the search box is the same as the URL box, which bugs the shit out of me otherwise. Yeah you can use addons and nonsense to change it in Firefox (in IE the browser would just self-destruct), but I want one bar and I want it to be native, by god. Also this thing looks so much like a Pokéball! ChromeforMacazoid I CHOOSE YOU!

TIME MAG NAMES MODERN WARFARE 2 BEST GAME OF THE YEAR:

call-of-duty-4-modern-warfare-2It’s finally that time of year when everyone gets all nostalgic (lazy) and starts doing “best of 2009” countdowns (they’re comin’ to Technostraddle too. Get ready).

Time picked a lot of cool games, and some I respect in a kind of puzzled, detached way, like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I don’t like realistic war games or movies, because I am a peace-loving-hippie-sonofabitch. But this game does look amazing graphically and I guess if you’re thinking about enlisting in the military, this might be a good way to test-drive Afghanistan. Prob not.

NO REALLY, WTF IS A ZHU-ZHU?

zhu-zhu-pets-hamsterUh, apparently Holiday shopping trends can get even dumber. I thought we’d reached an all time low with Tickle-Me-Elmo but at least that shit belonged to a recognizable franchise. Who is buying Zhu-Zhus?! I mean, at least the Furby-phenom was kind of intriguing and original, until you eviscerated it to make it stop talking. And my friend growing up took all the fur off hers and then it was a creepy metal talking robot, and that was sweet. I digress. These Zhu-Zhu hamster things look like you’d get them out of a 25 cent machine, have very little apparent cuteness or shapliness and they have runic marking on their backs, which if I was a parent would scream SATANISM. Also, apparently they were a suspected health risk until, oh, two days ago.

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NORWAY TERRIFIED OF SPIRAL-SHAPED SKY DEMON

So a mysterious spiral-shaped mystery appeared in the skies of Norway and nobody knows what it is! Doesn’t Norway have scientists?!

I would be a little concerned if there was a giant spiral horror in the sky above my country but maybe that’s because I am a patriot. This is how like every movie featuring space invasion starts. Hello, sounds like Phase 1 to me. I’m filling up a lot of water glasses. Or whatever it was that eventually fucked up those aliens in Signs.

Apparently, scientists without their heads up their asses think it was a failed missile launched by Russia. Not feeling a whole lot better.

OH YEAH – OUR PREZ ACCEPTED A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE TODAY

Obama scored a Nobel Prize, and he accepted it in Norway, which is clearly related to aforementioned swirly skydemon invasion. Now if he could just step it up with the civil rights equality mumbo-jumbo that made me get all teary during his acceptance speech, maybe I would be a little more onboard. In the mean time, get him the hell back on American soil. Or call Will Smith or something.

Taylor has written 137 articles for us.

23 Comments

  1. No, seriously, just give Chrome a spin on your Mac!! I’ve yet to encounter an actual bug, it’s just missing some of the features that would be seen on a final release candidate. I’m obv not switching to it full time at this point, but it’s been refreshing because it isn’t the huge resource hog that Firefox has been lately.

  2. the editor of my school newspaper took time off so he could play modern warfare thing. also my school newspaper sucks. i don’t know if those two things are related i just thought i would mention it.

  3. TIME was way the fuck off base and out of touch putting “Uncharted 2” at #10. It should have been #2 and if Modern Warfare 2 hadn’t come out this year it Should of been number 1.

  4. Lahdee dah.

    1. Lol majorly at the comment about the Mac guy. He IS an asshole. Double lols at the use of “smarmy”.
    2. Oh, looky! I’m a chrome user. As we speak/type. What? No bookmarks manager? Egads, I’m on a PC. And I love that feature too, when I’m on someone else’s computer and they have something else I always type my search in and get uber confused as to why google isn’t giving me any play, like, hello? And then I realize they’re not chrome heads. And those add-ons for firefox are not hot stuff, y’know? Lol again at the IE self-destruct comment. Oooooh, Alligator (T&S) just came on shuffle! Anyway…
    3. Ah, yes, I am a peace-loving-hippie-sonfabitch-in-training.
    4. I almost choked on my bubble tea. I am def gonna have a robot furby nightmare, sheesh.
    5. THE ALIENS HAVE COME FOR OBAMA!!! Can we have anything to ourselves? No but seriously… did anyone else watch those youtube vids? That shit is freaky! Holy shizz. Like, legitsickle, I would be hiding my ass off. Like, whoa…

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  8. No, it was aliens. They’re walking through the bedroom wall as we speak. Luckily, I always keep my Babel Fish and towel at hand. I just hope they have internet connection in Betelgeuse…
    (Btw, the critics agree. This is probably the only time Norway well be a trending topic on twitter. Ever. We’re just not that exiting when we aren’t being invaded by aliens/russians/American presidents.)

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