In life there is birds. Birds live outside the windows. Mombs say I came from outside the windows too but I do not remember that. I saw some pictures. I was cuuuute. Birds outside the windows is good. They fly. They chirp. Sometimes they wrassle each other if they are birds of different kinds. I like wrasslin! I like to watch wrasslin and I like to do wrasslin! Watching the birds is my second favorite thing. My first favorite thing is cuddling Mombs. Birds outside the window is not always good because birds is not always outside the window. I scream for them. “BIRDS! BIRDS! BIIIIIRDS!” is what I scream but they do not come to the window.
Good news! There is also birds inside the TV! Birds inside the TV is actually better than birds outside the windows. Here is why: When I scream for them — “BIRDS! BIRDS! BIIIIIRDS!” — Mombs puts them in the TV. (They never puts birds outside the window.) Birds in the TV is closer to me than birds outside. Bigger too! Also there is more birds! More kinds of birds! There is sparrow birds, goose birds, duck birds, pigeon birds. One time I saw a hawk bird and I got a real bad feeling about that so I ducked and ran!!! There is more than birds too. There is squirrels. There is chipmunks. There is bunny rabbits (boring, they never wrassle). My favorite thing in the TV is chipmunks because they fight over the peanuts in the tiny wheelbarrow. They make razzy noises when they fight. GIVE ME THAT PEANUT! I understand. I like to steal my brother’s and sister’s food too.
There is one problem with birds inside the TV. That problem is: My Mombs also have stuff inside the TV they want to watch. Mombs is lesbians. Mombs likes sports. Inside the TV they watch the sport called Serena. That sport has a small yellow ball and it goes back and forth about eleventy billion times. Inside the TV they also watch the sport of Candace Parker. She is lesbians too. Like my Mombs. Candace Parker sport has an orange ball. Short Momb likes the sport called Miami Dolphins. Tall Momb says “Men blah” and does not watch that one as much. My Mombs also like a sport called “KISS! KISS!” That sport does not have a ball. It has two womans, lesbians again I think, and Mombs’ teams wins when they kiss.
My favorite channels to watch are Birder King and Bird Bonanza. I have a disability. I cannot jump. But Mombs got me some stairs so I can get as close to the birds in the TV as I want! And that is CLOSE. I do not get allowed to slap the birds in the TV. We have to turn it off if I slap the TV. My sister Beth March gets the TV turned off most because she tries to jump on the birds. One time we got some fishes in the TV and she nearly breaked it!!! She is not smart. She does not know you cannot reach the birds. The birds live INSIDE the TV.
I named my favorite chipmunk on Birder King the name of “Arike Buckets” which is one of my Mombs’ favorite sports players in the sport of Candace Parker. Remember I said I yell “BIRDS! BIRDS! BIIIIIRDS!” My Mombs yell like that too. They yell “ARRIKKEEEEEE!” It is good fun to yell at TV. Hurrah birds! Hurrah Arike Buckets, the human and the chipmunk!
One bird I would like to see on my TV is a chicken bird. Then I would like to see that bird on my plate.