At this point, I just pretty much have a song from Wicked stuck in my head at all times. I’m not fighting it! The holiday season is now the Wicked season. Don’t text me unless it’s to say something like this:
So, naturally, I had to make a Which Wicked Character Are You quiz with a bunch of Wicked-themed questions. YOU’RE SO VERY WELCOME!
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
Kayla has written 936 articles for us.
My coworkers and I were recently lamenting the lack of sex scenes in holiday movies. Happiest Season, we reasoned, would be so much better with a sex scene, with a little more heat in general. But Happiest Season, of course, is following the formula of your typical holiday-set rom-com, which depending on your relationship to the predominantly straight genre means you either love Happiest Season or it isn’t really for you. I’m somewhere in the latter camp. I’m less interested in queer films that take existing formulas and recreate them, even when they do it well. To me, those feel less like queer films and more like films with gay characters in them. I understand why sapphic lovers of corny holiday rom-coms latched onto Happiest Season. It is indeed successful at following the formula. But of course, that formula is a sexless one. Holiday rom-coms load up the romance without becoming too sexual. They’re supposed to be “wholesome.” Hallmark, the network that cranks out the most holiday rom-coms, reproduces family-friendly films over and over in which genuine social strife doesn’t exist and heteronormative relationships and life are the key to lasting happiness. They’re fantasy films, really. So, no, these films don’t touch politics, and they don’t touch sex. Happiest Season breaks that first rule but with kid gloves on. And it doesn’t touch the second. It says, hey, lesbians can be wholesome for the holidays, too! Maybe that message lands well for some people, but it’s why watching Happiest Season for me feels somewhat like picking up a snow globe: It’s nice to look at in the moment, but when I set it back down, I’m not really thinking about it at all anymore.
Imagine my surprise then when, a few days after I told my coworkers there should be more holiday-adjacent queer sex scenes in films (Carol does count in my book, for what it’s worth), I popped on a Christmas movie I’d agreed to check out for review and was met with several sex scenes, including a queer one. The conceit of the Dutch comedy (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is all right there in the title. It’s the anti-Christmas movie in that it pretty much says fuck you to everything in the holiday rom-com formula. It’s raunchy and full of deeply flawed characters, its central family fractured by affairs, a public cancellation, and more unsavory situations. It’s decidedly unromantic.
Even the film’s queer sex scene feels unexpected, turning into a threesome between the family’s gay daughter Jus and her bisexual girlfriend and their queer guy friend, who Jus tops. In the moment, the scene is interesting, especially since Jus seems to be discovering some things about herself. But then beyond the context of the scene itself, it’s unclear exactly what (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is trying to say in its queer storytelling at all, the narrative muddled into nonsense. Jus teaches kindergartners to break out of gendered stereotypes for a living, a job (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie can’t seem to decide if its on the side of the characters who make fun of her work for being too woke or not. So when Jus has a very gender essentialist outburst at dinner after the sex scene, it just doesn’t fully track for the character. I admire (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie‘s wild attacks on the sanctity of holiday films, but they’re not particularly well aimed attacks and end up poking holes in the movie’s own foundation.
(This Is Not) A Christmas Movie never quite meets the potential of its promise of a fucked-up formula. Outside of an unnecessary narrator telling us way too much about the characters in the first act (which then becomes the stupidest gag of the movie in its final one), the beginning of the film is solid, signaling right away that this will not be a feel-good Christmas movie at all. You’re going to actively feel bad, a true-to-life holiday experience for many! Holidays are messy, because families are, and the holidays heighten that. But where I thought we might get a Dutch version of the Christmas episode of The Bear, (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie is too gleeful in its naughtiness, tries too hard to be on bad behavior instead of making the characters feel more real. Its oddly redemptive in the wrong places, turning a group of men’s rights losers into the good guys and reducing the harassment of the family’s sex pest patriarch to a simple midlife crisis.
So, no, I can’t quite recommend (This Is Not) A Christmas Movie to you, even if you’re looking for alternative holiday movie experiences. For that, maybe watch my favorite Christmas movie that is not a Christmas movie at all: How To Blow Up a Pipeline. My quest for a horny (the holidays are horny!) holiday movie with lesbians continues.
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
Kayla has written 936 articles for us.
Family friendly is cool but I can’t trust Dutch with comedy I mean when’s last time I saw a Dutch comedian
City of Trees is a good indie Christmas movie with a sweet but very warm lesbian sex scene.
There are few things I love more than a good romance. Or even a bad romance. One of those things? A good (or bad!) holiday romance. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a sucker for a cheesy Hallmark Christmas rom-com. Yes, they’re predictable, but that’s the charm of them! My biggest issue? Not enough sapphic holiday rom-coms.
And that’s where books come in! While TV networks are slow to catch on that sapphics want to see our love stories on-screen, books are willing to keep up with the demand. These stories make you want to curl up on the couch in a thick sweater with a mug of your favorite hot chocolate while sitting next to your twinkling Christmas tree.
Because what is the holiday season about if not a little romance? (I say this as a person who got engaged on Christmas!)
Teen actress Arden James is more well-known for her party girl persona than her acting abilities. So when a picky director won’t give her a role because of her off-screen antics, Arden and her publicist make up a lie. They say that she’s from a small town (technically not a lie) and that she’s dating her childhood best friend Caroline (huge lie), which she can prove when she goes home for Christmas.
Caroline isn’t interested in anything having to do with Arden James. She’s been out of sight, out of mind for years. But when Arden shows up on her doorstep promising her an article in Cosmopolitan in exchange for pretending to be her girlfriend for 12 days, Caroline knows that it’s the journalistic opportunity she needs. What could possibly go wrong?
If you wished that holiday classic The Holiday had a sapphic element, you’re in luck with this new holiday romance.
Bee Turner needs to get away from San Francisco. Everything is too much. So when her best friend suggests she list her sleek apartment on popular house swapping site Vacate, Bee jumps at the chance to escape. Meanwhile, Clover Mills has been having a year. Between losing her mother and ending things with her fiancé as a result, she needs to get out of her small Ohio town. When she hears about Vacate, her bags are packed faster than you can say cable car.
When she gets to San Francisco, Clover can’t seem to avoid Bee’s sister Beth, while Bee keeps finding herself in the presence of Clover’s ex, Knox. Maybe holiday magic is a real thing after all.
It’s important to mention that only one of these storylines is sapphic, featuring a late-in-life coming out story.
Ashley Herring Blake sapphic holiday romance? Say less, I’m already in.
Charlotte Donovan is living the dream as a violinist in New York City. Nevermind the fact that she was left at the altar five years ago and she never hears from her single mother. She’s ready for Christmastime in the city when her ensemble mate Sloane invites everyone to Colorado for the holiday.
The group aren’t the only ones in Colorado for Christmas — Sloane’s sister has brought home her friend Brighton, who just happens to be Charlotte’s ex. Now the two women have to pretend that they don’t know each other. Except that gets increasingly harder as their past comes back to them with a vengeance.
There is something about a holiday romance that just begs for a fake dating storyline. Technically, this is a Thanksgiving story, but honestly, it’s all the holiday season in my mind!
All Murphy wants is to get out of her small Illinois town and start her life somewhere else. Instead, she’s stuck working in the same coffee shop she’s been working at since she was sixteen, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to pass that pesky community college class that’s keeping her from graduating.
Murphy’s string of bad luck could potentially change thanks to former classmate Ellie Meyers. Ellie’s mom just happens to be the same professor whose class Murphy keeps failing. Ellie and Murphy realize that they are each other’s best bets for the next step in their goal lists, so they hatch a fake dating plan. Except the dating quickly feels not so fake…
No-kill animal shelter Junebug Farms decide to sponsor their town’s annual Christmas parade as a way to bring more attention to the shelter. And they will use the parade’s king and queen to create videos to ensure that all their pups are delivered to their forever homes on Santa’s sleigh.
What they don’t know is that the parade is going to have two queens this year. That is if longtime dog walking volunteer (and resident matchmaker) Mia Sorenson has her way. Mia rigs the voting so that her granddaughter Samantha and her friend Keegan get the gig. But will the two women overcome years of beating around the bush and the public embarrassment to make true love real?
Haf hasn’t had the best year, and all she wants to do is go to a Christmas party and have a good time. But her good time gets a little too festive: she gets drunk and kisses Christopher under the mistletoe while his ex-girlfriend just happens to be watching.
Suddenly, a drunken kiss turns into a fake relationship, with Haf joining Chrisopher’s family for the holiday season so he can save face. But word to the wise Haf, don’t fall in love with your fake boyfriend’s sister…
The Belvedere siblings’ lives are all falling apart when they show up to celebrate Christmas in the Catskills with their singer/actress mother Babs. Oldest daughter Liz has become a showrunner who can’t figure out season two of her hit show, and also can’t get a handle on her crush on the show’s star Violet. Her comedian middle sister Birdie is chasing skirts more than she’s chasing gigs, causing her to fear that she will be a flash in the pan. And then there’s their little brother Rafi, who proposed to his coworker girlfriend in front of the whole office and got turned down.
During their time in the mountains, each of the siblings learns a lot about themselves, their eccentric mother, and each other. And of course, there’s also a little holiday romantic sparkle.
The last thing newly single businesswoman Margot wants is a holiday romance. But when sweet Ben needs a girlfriend to spend Christmas with him and his family, she can’t say no. She knows that nothing will happen — she’ll get a couple weeks away from London, Ben gets his family off his back. It’s a win-win situation.
There is something that Margot didn’t anticipate when making the deal: Ben’s sister Ellie. She has Margot majorly rethinking the whole holiday romance thing.
Everything you need to know about this story is right there in the title. If there’s another trope I love for a holiday romance, it’s second chance.
Holly hasn’t been home in the two years since her brother died. Her family is still grieving, her ex won’t stop calling, and everything gets worse when she bumps into her first love, Vicky Castleton.
While Holly is trying to heal the broken parts of herself, her family and best friend keep pushing her to confront her past. And as she spends more time with Vicky, it’s clear that Holly has never gotten over her. Is Christmas the perfect time for her to risk it all for love?
A sapphic It’s a Wonderful Life you say? Love it!
Bailey George is ready to bid adieu to Lanford Falls and finally leave her responsibilities behind for a vacation in New York City. But then the person taking over her leadership position for the town’s Winter Wonderfest gets sick, and obligation keeps Bailey from following through with her plans. While she’s pretty bummed about being stuck in Lanford Falls, things get a little better when her crush Marla agrees to help her out.
Unfortunately for Bailey, things just keep going wrong. Then one night, she finds herself under the town’s old bridge. When she wishes that she had never been born, a drag queen named Clara Angel shows her that Lanford Falls wouldn’t be better off without her. And holiday magic can make any dreams come true.
Shani didn’t mean to hit May with her mom’s Subaru. It was just another part of the curse of Winter Break, including the way Shani got dumped. But she’s going to push all that aside and focus on her month-long paleoichthyology internship. After all, that’s why she’s in D.C.
But when a dog walking gig serendipitously brings May back into Shani’s life, it’s easy to forget about fish fossils and heartbreak. Especially when they get snowed in together on Christmas Eve. Things were never supposed to turn out this way. Will Shani be able to accept that sometimes plans change?
When artist Miriam Blum’s great aunt Cass dies and leaves her the family Christmas tree farm, she has to face parts of her past that she really doesn’t want to. All she wants to do is sit shiva (yes, there is something ironic about a Jewish woman running a Christmas tree farm), avoid her parents and get as far away from the farm as she can. But of course, life has other plans.
The business is about to go under, and to save it, Miriam must work together with Noelle, the farm’s grumpy manager. The chemistry between them is enough to burn the trees to the ground, but will that help them save the farm?
LA event planner Morgan’s life has blown up after a work-related scandal, and she’s forced to head home to Fern Falls for the holidays. But Fern Falls isn’t the idyllic holiday haven she wants it to be. Mainly because her former best friend turned crush Rachel is there. Rachel, who has now become a sexy lumberjane thanks to working at her family’s Christmas tree farm.
Soon, Morgan learns that Rachel’s tree farm is the only thing keeping Fern Falls from being sold to a seedy developer. So Morgan decides to put her party planning to good use and create the ultimate holiday experience. But just because she’s helping Rachel’s farm doesn’t mean they’re going to fall in love. Right?
Sa'iyda is a writer and mom who lives in LA with her partner, son and 3 adorable, albeit very extra animals. She has yet to meet a chocolate chip cookie she doesn't like, spends her free time (lol) reading as many queer romances as she can, and has spent the better part of her life obsessed with late 90s pop culture.
Sa'iyda has written 136 articles for us.
Great list! Just a heads up though, the link for How To Exacavate a Heart is accidentally linked to A Fabulous Life 🫶🏿
Yay, more romance recs from Sa’iyda <3.
I have to shout out my very favorite Sapphic holiday romance – Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun. It's a very, very loose retelling of the movie While You Were Sleeping – without the coma but with lots of humor and pathos and love.
I really enjoyed How to Excavate a Heart, although it was different than I expected from the blurb. Here's a bit from my StoryGraph review.
4.5 stars. Delightful Sapphic romance between two first-year college students spending winter break in Washington DC.
It’s told from the first person POV of Shani, a nerdy, anxious Jewish lesbian. I think your enjoyment of the book will depend on whether you can handle her anxious, overthinking narration. Read the sample.
Your enjoyment may also depend on whether you can handle the stress of reading such an accurate portrayal of what it's like to be 18 years old – complete with poor impulse control and crazy mood swings. (This may just be me and my middle aged sensibilities). I had to put this down a couple times when I got stressed about both Shani and May making (age appropriate) poor choices. But I did really enjoy their relationship and personal growth – it was satisfying and believable.
Content notes: sexual assault (in the past, off page).
Thank you for this round up! My TBR just got bigger.
An aside: How about everyone talking about romance strikes “cheesy” from adjectives when we talk about romance of any kind. The larger literary community regularly dunks on romance as “cheap, unpleasant, and blatantly inauthentic” which is what “cheesy” means.
How about “cozy” or “lighthearted” instead? I believe that’s the intent in this article’s opening. Those are words used for other genres when the story is, well, cozy and lighthearted.
Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Drew Burnett has written 624 articles for us.
According to all the memes, no one has a dependency on iced coffee quite like the queers do. Whether it’s December or July, you can pry an iced coffee out of a queer’s cold — VERY COLD — hands. I have been known to don a pair of fingerless gloves just to have a better grip on the freezing cold plastic cup from my favorite coffee place that holds the sweet, cold elixir I consider my emotional support beverage.
Supporting an iced coffee habit gets pricey, so maybe you want to start making your own at home. Honestly, it’s a smart choice to make, and there are plenty of ways to make your favorite cold caffeinated beverage in the privacy of your own home. Of course, you can use a regular coffee maker and just throw ice in the cup to make an iced coffee. But since the drink has grown in popularity, there are coffee makers equipped to make iced coffee more specifically.
While iced coffee is one option, cold brew is also a tasty alternative cold coffee. The biggest difference between the two is that like its name suggests, cold brew is brewed with cold water, so it’s a different process than regular iced coffee. It takes longer and requires a different kind of maker. No matter how you like your cold coffee, there are more ways than ever to make it yourself!
1. Instant Cold Brew Glass Coffee Maker, 32-Oz ($60)
2. Mr. Coffee® Iced™ Coffee Maker with Reusable Tumbler and Filter ($29)
3. OXO Compact Cold Brew Coffee Maker ($28)
4. Hamilton Beach 12 Cup Programmable Hot & Iced Coffee Maker ($50)
While there are a million different kinds of coffee makers out there, finding an iced coffee/cold brew maker is a little bit more of a process. These things can get pricey (makers from KitchenAid and Keurig are over $100), but there are some solid affordable options out there now that cold coffee has grown in popularity.
Iced coffee is a much faster process than making cold brew. You can have an iced coffee that is ready in less than 10 minutes. The iced coffee makers aren’t that different from a standard coffee maker. In fact, the Hamilton Beach maker does both (and its programmable!).
A standard cold brew maker needs at least 12 hours to properly brew and steep a batch of cold brew. Usually, a cold brew maker is going to hold more than a standard coffee maker, so you don’t have to make a fresh batch every day; depending on how much you drink at a time, you may only have to make it twice a week. The Instant cold brew maker is from the same company that makes the Instant Pot, which means that you’ll get that same cold brew taste in much less time, which is great!
1. Kauai Coffee Cold Brew ($18)
2. Grounds & Hounds Coffee Sunny Spot Cold Brew Blend ($16)
3. Stone Street French Vanilla Cold Brew ($17)
4. Bizzy Cold Brew Organic Espresso Blend ($15)
There’s a difference between regular iced coffee and cold brew. If you’re making your own cold brew, one thing that’s important to remember is that cold brew grounds and regular coffee grounds are different. Cold brew grounds are coarser because usually you’re steeping them in cold water. They have to work harder to brew, so they’re rougher. I personally really like the Hawaiian cold brew blends from Kauai Coffee, but you’ll likely have to do some trial and error to see what tastes right to you.
If you’re just going to make regular iced coffee, you technically can use any kind of ground coffee you prefer. The basic bitch in me loves a Dunkin iced coffee, so that’s the kind I’m buying for home use. My wife is slightly fancier than me, so she likes Peet’s coffee. To each their own. But let it be known, brands like Dunkin do make specific iced coffee grounds if you’re so inclined to want them.
1. “Powered By Iced Coffee” Tumbler ($19+)
2. “Fueled By Iced Coffee and Anxiety” Mug ($24)
3. Hydrapeak Traveler 25oz Stainless Steel Insulated Tumbler With Lid And Straw ($20)
4. Owala 24oz Stainless Steel Straw Tumbler ($28)
Iced coffee tastes best in a cup that keeps up the “iced” in the name. Since I really got into drinking iced coffee and cold brew, I have amassed quite a collection of tumblers with straws and lids. Because I have so many, I have become a bit of a connoisseur; a regular plastic tumbler isn’t going to keep your drink cold for very long. A mug doesn’t have enough room for ice, so I wouldn’t use it unless you’re drinking cold brew out of it.
A double vacuum insulated tumbler is really the best way to keep your iced coffee nice and cold. Usually they come in any size starting at 8 ounces. I tend to get one that’s around 20 ounces — you want to make sure you have room for ice. I have reusable ice cubes because I hate watery drinks. You can also fill an ice cube tray with coffee and make coffee ice cubes to keep your drink extra potent.
1. Dreo Electric Milk Frother for Coffee ($40)
2. Milk Frother Electric,4 in 1 ($30)
3. Coffee Lover 50 ml 5-pack Variety Pack ($11)
4. “More Espresso Less Depresso” Sticker ($4)
One of the fun parts of getting your iced coffee somewhere else is that you can make it fun and fancy with things like foams and syrups. But fear not! You can do those things at home thanks to these accessories.
The Dreo milk frother is good for both hot and cold milk foam, but more importantly, it works with dairy based milks and plant based milks. And we all know, you can’t separate a queer from their plant based milk (Shoutout to oatmilk for always having my back!).
If you’re like me, you think the taste of coffee is absolutely disgusting. You can hide that with coffee creamer (many also come in plant based milks now), or if you like using non-flavored milk, or if you’re one of those people who drink black coffee, use a syrup! Torani is arguably one of the most famous syrup makers, and this coffee lover variety pack includes Brown Sugar Cinnamon, White Chocolate, and three classic flavors: Hazelnut, Caramel, and Vanilla.
Looking to jazz up your favorite insulated cup? Might I suggest this funny sticker? When I searched Redbubble for lesbian stickers, this was one of the first things to pop up. Make of that what you will.
Sa'iyda is a writer and mom who lives in LA with her partner, son and 3 adorable, albeit very extra animals. She has yet to meet a chocolate chip cookie she doesn't like, spends her free time (lol) reading as many queer romances as she can, and has spent the better part of her life obsessed with late 90s pop culture.
Sa'iyda has written 136 articles for us.
As has been noted by many others in the media, the rollout of Trump’s cabinet picks has felt like the lineup for a really maudlin, bizarre parade sponsored by Fox News. Conspiracy theorists! White nationalists! Sexual predators! Dog-killers! Sean from The Real World: Boston!
In 2016, when I researched and ranked Trump’s cabinet nominees by terror I felt in my heart, I was evaluating a list of relatively established conservative Republicans. There were some wild cards, for sure, but also plenty of politicians widely respected by right-wing leaders, like Jeff Sessions, Rick Perry, Nikki Haley, John F. Kelly and James Mattis. Those guys were terrifying in their own way, and many didn’t last long in Trump’s administration, often due to clashes with the man himself. Now the party has been thoroughly MAGA-fied and we’re looking at a bunch of Trump loyalists with thin qualifications besides absolute devotion to our future President.
Without any further ado, let’s wade into the swamp and stare into the gaping maw of our potentially extremely dark future!
(Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images)
What’s her deal? Moderate Republican from Oregon who recently lost her congressional re-election bid. Her candidacy for SOL was backed by unions including International Brotherhood of Teamsters. ALF-CIO President praised her “pro-labor record” but warned of her limited powers to curb Trump’s “dramatically anti-worker agenda.” Cautious optimism and “it could have been worse” seems to be the vibe overall.
Formerly a anesthesiology and wellness business owner, she ran for congress promising to reduce crime, provide even more funding to the police and relax energy regulations.
Is there anything good to say about this woman? The New York Post describes her as backing “a laundry list of boiler-plate liberal policies at odds with longstanding Republican orthodoxies” including “amnesty for illegal immigrants” in a piece that radiated with outrage under a headline declaring her a “toxic anti-conservative RINO who is too close to unions.” In congress, co-sponsored legislation including federal cannabis law reforms, an act to protect unions’ right to organize and another to expand the powers of public sector unions.
Government experience: Happy Valley City Council (2005-2011), Mayor of Happy Valley (2011-2019), U.S. House of Representatives from Oregon (2023-2024)
(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Job Description: Addressing the nation’s housing needs, fair housing laws and low-income public housing.
What’s his deal? We don’t know a ton about this guy. Turner was a football player who spent nine seasons in the NFL, spending off-seasons working as an intern for various Republican congressmen, and joined the Texas House in 2013 with the support of the tea party. More recently he’s worked as a “motivational speaker” and “chief inspiration officer” and headed up a “White House Opportunity and Revitalization Council” during Trump’s first term to coordinate investment in economically depressed areas. (While providing tax cuts to wealthy investors.) Loves the lord.
Like so many others in the cabinet, he’s a chair at the America First Policy Institute. The AFPI housing agenda aims to tackle the housing crisis from “its roots” via “empowering law enforcement to act in defense of their communities and public spaces,” rather than Biden’s approach which was about finding housing for people without housing. Currently is “Chief Visionary Officer” for JPI, North Texas’ biggest apartment builder, which sold to a Japanese housing firm in late 2023.
Turner is Trump’s sole Black nominee, and is being nominated for the same role secured by Trump’s sole Black nominee in 2016, Ben Carson.
Is there anything good to say about this man? Probably? He’s sort of an enigma, everything I read about him is intensely value neutral.
Government experience: White House Opportunity and Revitalization Council (2019 -2021), Texas House of Representatives (2013-2017)
Photo by Andrew Harrer – Pool/Getty Images
Job Description: Overseeing compensation and pensions to 6.7 million veterans and family members and health care to 9 million veterans.
What’s his deal? This former member of Trump’s impeachment defense team plans to “drain the swamp and make America WIN again.” His own military experience includes two years as a navy chaplain in the late ’80s and a post-9/11 enrollment in the United States Air Force Reserve Command. He spent five months deployed to Iraq in 2008.
Staunch anti-abortion advocate, opposes LGBTQ+ rights, opposes the Affordable Care Act, promotes anti-trans propaganda and 2020 election denialism, supported the “Muslim ban,” rejects climate change. Opposed the 2013 Violence Against Women Act.
Is there anything good to say about this man? From 1994-2005, co-ran a scrapbooking store with his wife Lisa.
Government Experience: Member of the U.S House of Representatives from Georgia (2013-2021), Member of the Georgia State House of Representatives (2007-2013)
(Photo by Austin McAfee/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
Job Description: Guaranteeing loans, assisting with government contracts and supporting small business interests.
What’s her deal? Donated $4.9 million to Trump’s campaign. Formerly a “moderate, business-oriented Republican,” Loeffler’s political passions shifted dramatically towards Trump after his first election. Ran her senate campaign “using not so much a racist dog whistle as a racist foghorn,” focusing massive ire on the Black Lives Matter movement and the WNBA team she co-owned, The Atlanta Dream, speaking out publicly in June 2020 against their choice to wear BLM and “Say Her Name” shirts instead of her preferred attire: the American flag. Two-time WNBA champ Renee Montgomery asked to meet with Loeffler to discuss their proposals, and was rejected. The team’s players, union, fans and the league itself pressured Loeffler to sell the club — and then Montgomery herself joined the ownership club that ended up buying the team from Loeffler.
Donated portions of her senate salary to anti-LGBTQ adoption agencies and anti-abortion orgs. Introduced Senate legislation to bar trans women from playing sports.
Along with her husband, Intercontinental Exchange CEO/Founder and current New York Stock Exchange chairman Jeffrey Sprecher, was under investigation for suspicious stock sales during the COVID-19 pandemic. They are rich as hell. Former CEO of a cryptocurrency trading platform.
She scares me, but knowing she’s already been defeated by the Atlanta Dream gives me a small sliver of hope.
Government Experience: Briefly served in the Senate after an appointment by Georgia Governor Brian Kemp, with a term that lasted from early 2020 until her January 2021 defeat in a special election.
Photo by DOMINIC GWINN/Middle East Images/AFP via Getty Images
Job Description: Advises the president on economic and fiscal topics including spending, taxes and tarriffs.
What’s his deal? A billionaire and a married gay man with two kids who formerly contributed to candidates including Al Gore, Barack Obama, Hohn Kerry and Hillary Clinton; Bessent cut his financial teeth working as a partner for the firm of legendary subject-of-QAnon-conspiracy-theories George Soros. For the past 15 years, Bessent’s been throwing his millions at Republicans, including Trump since 2016. Says Trump’s plan to impose blanket 20% tariffs on all imports was a “maximalist position” that would “probably be watered down.”
If confirmed, he’d be the first out LGBTQ+ cabinet member of a Republican administration.
Is there anything good to say about this man? According to The Times, “In some policy areas, Mr. Bessent has demonstrated an inclination to temper Mr. Trump’s economic impulses.” Elon Musk wanted Trump to pick someone else. Endowed three scholarships at his alma mater, Yale, including one for first-generation college students. Formerly served on the board of God’s Love We Deliver, an organization that delivered meals to homebound AIDS patients. His house in Charleston is painted entirely pink.
Government Experience: None
Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images
Job Description: Represents the U.S. on the UN Security council
What’s her deal? Stefanik blamed Nancy Pelosi for the January 6th attacks and is a huge fan of Margaret Thatcher, the Keystone pipeline, and Donald Trump. She’s worked in government as a staffer and elected official since the George W. Bush administration.
She is staunchly pro-Israel and has been critical of the UN for not being supportive enough of Netanyahu’s genocide against Palestinians. She led questioning of university presidents during the U.S. congressional hearings in response to pro-Palestine protests on campuses. She was granted the “Dr. Miriam and Sheldon Adelson Defender of Israel Award” by the Zionist Organization of America and has suggested the U.S. reevaluate its funding of the UN after the Palestinian Authority attempted to hold Israel accountable for its human rights abuses in Gaza. She has positioned herself as a faithful and stalwart ally in the fight against antisemitism, despite historically promoting antisemitic ideas. Stefanik, like so many Conservative Christian politicians is, in essence, only fighting anti-Zionism, not actual antisemitism. Her position on Israel has earned her a lot of money, and along with her loyalty to Trump, it’s now earned her a spot in his administration.
All that said — our current ambassador to the UN, although being infinitely more qualified than Stefanik, is also a staunch and apparently unconditional ally to Israel.
Is There Anything Good To Say About This Woman: Criticized Trump’s decision to withdraw from the Paris climate agreement. Voted in favor of the Respect for Marriage Act.
Government Experience: Member of the U.S House of Representatives from New York (2015—)
Photo by Lev Radin/Pacific Press/LightRocket via Getty Images
What’s his deal? An “ass kissing sycophant” who voted against certifying the 2020 election results, Zeldin plans to “restore US energy dominance, revitalize our auto industry to bring back American jobs, and make the US the global leader of AI” while also somehow ensuring we have the cleanest air and water of all time. Environmental groups are horrified and anticipate a “drill baby drill” agenda and a focus on deregulation. He backed Trump’s exit from the Paris climate agreement.
Is there anything good to say about this man? “Has a history of siding with Democrats on toxic chemical issues.”
Government Experience: U.S House of Representatives from New York (2015-2023), New York State Senate (2011-2014)
Photo by Al Drago/Getty Images
Job Description: Manages the agency’s intelligence collection, analysis, covert action, counterintelligence, and liaison relationships with foreign services.
What’s his deal? During Trump’s first term, Trump’s attempt to have Ratcliffe replace Dan Coats as National Intelligence Director in 2019 was thwarted by Republican senators who were concerned about Ratcliffe’s “embellishments” of his experience with terrorism and immigration cases and his potential to politicize intelligence. But in 2020, Trump got him in, and his brief tenure was predictably messy, as he chaotically declassified information in clear service of political aims and often went “off-script” and promoted falsehoods. He was the guy who declassified the Russian intelligence disinformation right before the 2020 election.
Is there anything good to say about this man: Career intelligence officials seem to feel it “could have been a lot worse” based on other potential nominees for the role.
Government Experience: Member of the U.S House of Representatives from Texas (2015-2020), Mayor of Heath, Texas (2004-2012), U.S Attorney for Eastern District of Texas (2007-2008),
(Photo by Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post via Getty Images)
What’s her deal? Famously Floridian Wiles has an extensive history with Trump specifically and has been serving in advisory roles to various Republicans in office or campaigning since the 1980s, including Ronald Reagan, Ron DeSantis, and John Delaney. After many years as a lobbyist she joined Trump’s team in 2016 and hasn’t looked back, described in an in-depth Politico piece earlier this year as “in essence [Trump’s] chief of staff for the last more than three years,” credited with making him electable in 2024. Politico described friends and colleagues bewildered by someone as smart and sane as Wiles aligning herself so squarely with Trump but also feel comforted that she’d be in the room with Trump if he does win. She listed “creating order from chaos” as one of her greatest assets on LinkedIn and she is known for being shrewd and strategic in how she handles the press and her candidates’ narratives.
Is there anything good to say about this woman? “If this guy wins, and I certainly hope he doesn’t, but if he were to win again, I would hope to hell that she will play a major role.” – Susie’s friend Paul
Government experience: Has worked for various politicians in some capacity or another for a very long time
(Photo by Benjamin C Tankersley/For The Washington Post via Getty Images)
Job Description: Overseeing infrastructure such as roads, bridges and airports as well as drone regulations, automobile safety, emissions standards and fuel-economy rules. This includes remaining funds from Biden’s $1 trillion 2021 infrastructure law.
What’s his deal? This is the log roller guy from The Real World: Boston who married Rachel from The Real World: San Francisco! Does anybody remember him, the guy who did log rolling and who accused his Black castmate Kameelah of “reverse racism” and compared her to Hitler? Well, I curse the day I ever saw this man put his feet on a log. Apparently Rachel and Sean are both Fox News hosts now.
Duffy supported Trump’s Muslim ban, says Islamic terrorism is widespread whereas the white terrorists who shot up a mosque in Quebec was a “one-off,” and is fine with wolves going extinct. He blamed Pete Buttigieg for holiday airline travel chaos in 2022. Tried to overturn Obamacare. Has said vile and racist things about Native Americans and Black people and listen I could keep going with this guy.
Unclear what his plans will be for transportation (logs?), but he did build a large bridge in Minnesota one time.
Is there anything good to say about this man? Was in Norman (The Real World: New York)’s short film about a gay wedding. Is very good at climbing up poles (holds two speed-climbing titles).
Government experience: Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Wisconsin (2011-2019), District Attorney of Ashland County, Wisconsin (2002-2010)
CHARLOTTE, USA – OCTOBER 10: Kash Patel at the Team Trump Bus Tour in Charlotte, United States on October 10, 2024. (Photo by Peter Zay/Anadolu via Getty Images)
What’s his deal? Trump loyalist who believes the election was stolen and reportedly blocked Department of Defense officials from helping the Biden Administration in its transition. Author of a children’s picture book The Plot Against the King, telling a revisionist story of the FBI inquiry into Russian interference in the U.S Election and “partial memoir” about the “deep state,” Government Gangsters: The Deep Stae, the Truth, and the Battle For Our Democraxcy. Following Trump’s first term, kept a “regular schedule of Trump-happy podcast interviews to hawk his books, solicit donations to his causes, and keep his brand fresh,” including alt-right conspiracy theorists, QAnon supporters and white nationalists. On Steve Bannon’s podcast, promised to go after members of the media and the government who criticized Trump.
Government experience: Senior Council on Counterterrorism for House Select Committee on Intelligence, Senior Committee Aid to House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes, Cheif of Staff to Sec of Defense, was involved in Trump administration in myriad ways I cannot begin to enumerate.
(Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
Job Description: Carrying out the President’s foreign policies through the State Department and the Foreign Service of the United States.
What’s his deal? Rubio is super, super conservative, doesn’t believe in climate change, opposes the Affordable Care Act, loves guns, opposes net neutrality and is an outspoken opponent of abortion even in the case of rape or incest. When it comes to foreign policy, which is the field he’ll be overseeing for Trump, he’s described as “hawkish” and favors collecting metadata for national security. Fair Observer has noted that “he is the most certain to provide continuity with all that is wrong with United States foreign policy, from Cuba to the Middle East to China.” That same piece says that Marco, who is Cuban, seems on board with a plan to “economically strangle and starve” the people of Cuba into submission.
When it comes to the genocide in Gaza, Rubio is a staunch supporter of Israel, believing they can do no wrong. When asked if it was possible to stop Hamas without causing major casualties amongst innocents in Gaza, Rubio said no, adding “I don’t think there’s any way Israel can be expected to coexist or find some diplomatic off-ramp with these savages.” He’s also likely to add fuel to Israel’s fire against Iran, who Rubio is “obsessed” with. He’s accepted millions of dollars from pro-Israel groups throughout his career, and supports Trump’s plan to deport students who protest against Israel.
Is there anything good to say about this man? Seems to have sound positions on Ukraine?
Government Experience: U.S Senator from Florida (2011 – present), Member of the Florida House of Representatives (2000-2008), Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives (2006-2008)
Photo by Johnnie Izquierdo for The Washington Post via Getty Images
Job Description: Promoting American businesses and industries; fostering, promoting, and developing the foreign and domestic commerce.
What’s His Deal? Lutnick is the CEO of Cantor Fitzgerald. He donated $1 million to Trump’s Super PAC and has a dynamic range of potential conflicts in his current role (overseeing Trump’s transition) due to his involvement with firms regulated by the agencies for which he is currently selecting leadership.
Lutnick is considered one of the most “iconic figures” of 9/11, having missed the fate that claimed 658 of his firm’s 960 employees because he was taking his son to kindergarten, and was searching for his brother and other employees at the site when the second tower collapsed. His philanthropic activities include a fund for families of 9/11 victims that is now a fund for all disaster victims. He agrees with RFK that vaccines cause autism and plans to make America great again by cutting taxes and raising tariffs.
Is there anything good to say about this man? His various philanthropic endeavors have delivered millions of dollars of relief to victims of Hurricane Sandy and the Moore Tornado in Oklahoma as well as families of 9/11 victims. His Global Charity Day events have raised $113 million dollars.
Government Experience: None
Photo by Samuel Corum/Getty Images)
Job Description: Oversees the USDA — farm and nutrition programs, food stamps, forestry, home and farm lending, food safety, animal health, agricultural research and rural development.
What’s her deal? The chief executive, president and co-founder of the pro-Trump America First Policy Institute grew up on a farm in Texas where she was a 4-H member and Future Farmers of America member. At Texas A&M she was a Fish Camp counselor, Cotton Bowl Classic Queen and the university’s first female student body president. As president of Texas Public Policy Foundation, she pushed to have Christianity further infiltrate civic life and promoted fossil fuels. Deep ties to the oil and gas industry and to Project 2025.
During Trump’s first term, she served as director of the Office of American Innovation and acting director of the Domestic Policy Council. She calls immigration a thing that was formerly “a labor-market phenomenon” that has become “a national security crisis driven by trafficking cartels and their state sponsors.” I hope someone tells her that at least 44% of farmworkers in the U.S. are undocumented.
I cannot figure out exactly what weird shadow government theory she is discussing here but truly when I look into her eyes I think she is capable of really terrible things
Is there anything good to say about this woman? No
Government experience: Acting director of the United States Domestic Policy Council during Trump’s first term.
(Photo by Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images)
Job Description: Responsible for the management and conservation of most federal land and natural resources.
What’s his deal? One of the richest politicians in the U.S. with a $1+ billion dollar net worth (from his software companies and investment firms), Burgum says he will establish U.S. energy dominance by cutting “unnecessary regulation” and “favoring innovation.” The Sierra Club is alarmed, as are numerous environmental groups who fear him turning America’s public lands into “an even bigger cash cow for the oil and gas industry” or shrink our parks and national monuments.
He’s signed anti-LGBTQ+ bills in North Dakota including bills banning gender-affirming care for minors, restricting drag shows, and banning trans people from using bathrooms or showers aligned with their gender identity in prisons, domestic violence shelters, and state universities.
Is There Anything Good To Say About This Man: He got positive marks from some Native American tribal leaders in his state for “improving North Dakota’s once-tenuous relationship with local tribes.” Progressive Democrat Jared Huffman, senior member of the House natural resources committee, says Trump’s choice “could be worse for sure.” In 2021, said he believed climate change was real and wanted to make North Dakota carbon neutral.
Government experience: North Dakota governor (2016 – present)
Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images
Job Description: Head of the U.S Intelligence Community, oversees and directs the implementation of the National Intelligence Program, principal advisor to the President, NSC and HSC for intelligence matters.
What’s her deal? Gabbard is a tricky one and difficult to summarize because she is really such a kook who has been on so many journeys in her relatively short life! She’s a military veteran, the first American Samoan and practicing Hindu elected to congress, and a former Democrat who endorsed Biden in 2020 before gradually shifting conservative, leaving the party in 2022 and speaking at CPAC that year. Even as a Democrat, she held a mix of sound positions (legalizing marijuana, ending the failed ‘war on drugs’ and cash bail) and not-so-sound positions (working for an anti-gay-marriage PAC from 1998-2004 and supporting anti-LGBTQ legislation). As far as her new role goes, Dems have expressed concern that she’s “basically said good things” about Assad and Putin and the intelligence community is plainly “alarmed.” She has deep ties to Hindu nationalism. She has no intelligence background and has “taken public policy positions that echo Russian propaganda.”
Is there anything good to say about this woman? Well, The New York Post hates her for “falsely accusing the US of being the driver of war” and not being aggressive enough w/r/t war.
Government Experience: Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Hawaii (2013-2021), Vice Chair of the Democratic National Committee (2013-2016), Member of the Honolulu City Council (2011-2012), Member of the Hawaii House of Representatives (2002-2004)
Job Description: Duties related to the generation and use of energy, one of the primary responsibility-holders for the nation’s nuclear weapon stash.
What’s his deal? Wright is a fossil fuel executive and fracking magnate who earns $5.6 million a year from fracking company Liberty Energy and donated generously to Trump’s campaign. He completely discounts the existence of a climate crisis, the rise of extreme weather, and the need for an energy transition, and he opposes clean energy government subsidies, which he claims help rich people while making other people poor. He discounts the scientific consensus that greenhouse gas emissions have led to a warming planet and believes fossil fuel and fracking will lift people out of poverty worldwide. He plans to weaken or reverse Biden’s commitment to regulating carbon pollution and increase electric war production. He drank fracking fluid on camera in 2019 to prove that it’s not dangerous and will definitely will be doing everything he can to destroy this wretched planet.
Is there anything good to say about this man? No
Government Experience: None
(Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images)
Job Description: Deals with federal influence over education policy, including school choice, civil rights in schools and administering school loans.
What’s her deal? She led the Small Business Administration during Trump’s first term and is co-chairing his transition while also working for the Trump-forward America First Policy Institute. Prior to all this, she transformed the World Wrestling Entertainment into a multibillion dollar enterprise, which makes her, at least, sort of interesting. Her only relevant education experience is a Connecticut State Board of Education stint in 2009-2010, an appointment challenged even then for her lack of experience. She now claims her time on the board of trustees at Sacred Heart University in Connecticut is Experience.
Like Trump’s appointment of Betsy DeVos in 2016, we’ve got an enemy of public education assigned to oversee public education. When it comes to K-12, she’s a big “parent choice” gal. She’s likely to echo Trump’s commitments to school prayer, “rooting out the woke DEI initiatives,” killing “critical race theory,” and withholding funding from schools that acknowledge the existence of trans people and attempt to make their lives livable. She wants to “align the nation’s education system more closely with the real vision of the American founders” which is not great!
Is there anything good to say about this woman? She favors expanding the Pell Grant and was pro-choice at some point.
Government experience: Led SBA during Trump’s first term. Failed senate campaign.
Oh and: In October, she was named as a defendant in a lawsuit for her alleged knowledge of “open rampant abuse” of young boys by a WWE ringside announcer. She and her husband are accused of knowing this man’s “peculiar and unnatural interest” in young boys and allowing it to transpire.
Photo by KAMIL KRZACZYNSKI/AFP via Getty Images
Job Description: Will oversee the third-largest department of the U.S. government with components including ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement), the TSA, Customs and Border Protection, FEMA, the Coast Guard, and the Secret Service.
What’s her Deal? She famously shot and killed her family dog dead in a gravel pit because he “ruined the [pheasant] hunt.” Like so many of Trump’s nominees, she has no relevant qualifications for the role. She signed a law prohibiting trans girls from competing in sports matching their gender identity (despite, btw, there not being any trans girls playing sports in her entire state), opposes “critical race theory,” and proudly maintained minimal restrictions for South Dakotans during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic despite the state’s high per capita death toll. She has bad relationships with local Native American tribes, and pushed the narrative “that Mexican cartels were running rampant in the state’s tribal nations.” With the help of private donations, she sent South Dakota National Guard members to Texas to “help out” at the border. In her book, she claimed to have met Kim Jong Un (she did not) and also to have a meeting with French president Emmanuel Macron (she did not) that she cancelled because he made a “very pro-Hamas” comment to the press.
She’s called for the punishment of Democratic “sanctuary cities” and in general seems to be aligned with Trump’s assorted illogical, impractical, and bigoted plans for immigration and the border.
Is there anything good to say about this woman? No
Government Experience: Governor of South Dakota, Member of the U.S House of Representatives from South Dakota (2011 – 2019), South Dakota House of Representatives (2007-2011).
(Photo by Oliver Contreras/For The Washington Post via Getty Images)
Job Description: Produces the president’s budget, examines agency programs and policies to evaluate their conformity with president’s aims.
What’s his deal? A Christian Nationalist and a major player in crafting Project 2025, Vaught helped craft a few executive orders for Trump to implement on Day One, including one that’d enable Trump to fire a bunch of civil servants. During Trump’s first term as OMB leader, published memo encouraging divestment from any agency spending related to training around “critical race theory’ or “white privilege.” Big advocate for recess appointments, which enable Trump to bypass Senate approval. Refused to meet with Biden’s team for transition. Wants to gut the FBI and end the politicial independence of the U.S. Justice Department.
Is there anything good to say about this man? There is not.
Government Experience: Served as Director of the Office of Management and Budget during Trumps first term.
Stephen M. Dowell/Orlando Sentinel/Tribune News Service via Getty Images
Job Description: Head of the Department of Justice, chief law enforcement officer of the federal government.
What’s Her Deal? Bondi is a longtime Trump alley who served on his defense team during his first impeachment trial and in 2013 called off joining a lawsuit against Trump University after Trump dropped a donation into her re-election PAC. The “fundraising controversies” section is the longest section on her Wikipedia. She’s a friend of Sean Hannity and a frequent Fox News guest who currently leads the legal arm of right-wing dark money think tank America First Policy Institute and participated heavily in discourse and lawsuits around Trump’s voter fraud claims in 2020. She fought against marriage equality in Florida and has sketchy ties to Russia.
Is there anything good to say about this woman? She is not Matt Gaetz.
Government experience: Attorney General of Florida (2011-2019)
Photo by John Lamparski/Getty Images
Job Description: Oversees the armed forces and reports directly to the president in his capacity as the military’s commander-in-chief.
What’s his deal? Pete is a highly decorated former Army National Guard officer, Fox News political commentator, Fox & Friends weekend co-host, and noted Christian Nationalist Zionist who doesn’t wash his hands and believes college students are learning too much about the environment and not enough about Islamic extremism. He opposes Putin and Russia but opposes “wokeness” more. He wants to carpet-bomb Iran and give the West Bank to Israel. He defends January 6th attackers as “patriots.” He believes Islamic extremism is the biggest threat to our national security and wants the U.S. to curb its Muslim population.
He has defended war crimes including the murder of civilians in Iraq and torturing inmates at Guantanamo Bay. He was amongst the twelve National Guard volunteers “excused” from working Biden’s inauguration due to “extremist” political views, although Hegseth has claimed his dismissal was due to his Jerusalem Cross tattoo. His proposed adjustments to the U.S military include axing DEI programs and the phrase “our diversity is our strength,” getting women out of combat roles and trans people out of the military altogether. He thinks Omicron was invented by Democrats to help them win the 2022 midterms, George Floyd died of a drug overdose, and the Holocaust was enacted by “German socialists.” Even Jonathan Chait finds Hegseth’s beliefs bone-chilling.
He once accidentally permanently injured a West Point drummer with an axe during an axe-throwing Flag Day segment on Fox News.
Is there anything good to say about this man? No
Government Experience: None
Oh and: He paid off a conservative group staffer who accused him of sexually assaulting her in a hotel room. He also cheated on his second wife with a Fox news producer, an affair which resulted in the birth of a child.
(Photo by John Lamparski/Getty Images)
Job Description: Oversees 11 agencies including the FDA, CDC and NIH, serves as principal advisor to the President on health, welfare and income security programs.
What’s his deal? RFK, a noted leader in the field of COVID-19 misinformation, drinks unpasteurized milk exclusively, takes a self-prescribed regimen of “organic testosterone,” never eats before noon, and has a dead worm in his brain. His relevant policy positions include skepticism towards vaccines, medical journals, Big Pharma, and food manufacturers. He opposes fluoridating water, a practice which the CDC has honored for its dramatic reduction of tooth decay. Kennedy has asserted that fluoride makes kids gay or trans as well as causing arthritis and bone cancer.
He has been described as “an anti-vaccine paranoid crank who has a trail of dead children in Samoa.” His friends and family describe him as a man “who has championed important environmental causes” but also has “an unnerving ease with blending fact and fiction,” a “powerful ability to deny the collateral damage of his own destructive actions,” and a “pathological need for attention.” He’s published books on topics like “why his cousin didn’t actually murder the teenage girl he was imprisoned for murdering” and “the dangers of vaccines.” The farming industry considers him “a threat to American agriculture.” He backs bans on gender-affirming treatments like puberty blockers and hormone therapy for minors and claims HIV is not the cause of AIDS — poppers are.
Is There Anything Good To Say About This Man: He has mostly sound views about climate change and environmental conservation. But that is not the role he will be taking in this administration.
Government Experience: Unsuccessful 2024 presidential campaign
Oh and: He was accused of sexual assault by his babysitter. Kennedy denied the allegations while also claiming he is “not a church boy… I have so many skeletons in my closet.” He is described by family and peers as a sex addict who would “sleep with an Ottoman.” He compulsively cheated on his wife, Mary Richardson, who died by suicide in 2012.
Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.
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Thank you for putting this together. It’s been really hard to follow all of the news about this but this was actually really entertaining to read!
“She is not Matt Gaetz” well, that is always a plus
Working Class Butch Latina here-my Mexican family is OBSESSED with these people and cheer in spanish family group chats. they believe they will protect the border from malandros and sicarios that do brutalize our CA barrios which UCLA kids and queer magazine writers will never know a friend gunned down by a sicario for simply walking or working for the wrong restaurant. I had the gift of going to school and embracing more ideas BUT to think any of these people as pure evil
isn’t it. They cried during Rubios speech even lesbians from my hometown. Human life and american life and queer life is more varied than you think. I’m willing to give them a chance if they do in fact protect my family better
When you use an AI generator to put as many Latino stereotypes as computationally possible in one pro-Trump comment.
Trump’s victory is inexplicable to non-Americans like myself (I live in New Zealand) but we need to understand how his victory came about – your comment provides some explanation. It still doesn’t make rational sense that a convicted sex offender is seen as a leader who will make people safer….but on reflection, it makes a horrible kind of sense in a dystopian nation like the US. What a world we live in.
Please don’t entertain a bot. You are a white person from Aotearoa so you’re probably projecting white guilt, but this person is peak bot using every Latin American stereotype in one. There are no sicarios in fucking LA lmao. Their comment doesn’t explain shit.
i never said LA- i said UCLA kids don’t understand. ever hear of Goshen CA? but sure i don’t support them but my friends and family do. im not abandoning them because they think differently from me.call me a bot all you want but some of us have different lives than you ok?
Anyone insisting malandros and sicarios are brutalizing california or colorado or w/e are lying out of their ass. The border is not that kind of crisis, it’s a humanitarian crisis from how the US functions as a capitalist/colonial project
Ummmm actually I am tangata whenua and whakapapa to Ngāti Wai. How dare you make an assumption based on little to no information. That’s messed up. I hope you reflect.
Ok then our family friend isn’t dead. me vale vergaa-thanks for telling me that the violence isn’t real and it’s all about US colonialism lmao. it’s part of the story but not the whole thing and who is getting the shit end of the stick? latin first gen immigrants caught in the mix. take your pinche third gen sociology degree and tell working class immigrant families how it is. you think i love this? that i love republicans? you’re just another pocho trying to act tough and pretend the world doesn’t exist outside your privileged circle. and yeah being a shitty paid writer or cocktail waitress or barista in a big city is privileged-but a pocho forgets
‘pocho’ lol 20th century moron talking anywayssss trump is not going to make shit better
the fact you don’t even have compassion for the grief and loss of another mexican that i have mentioned to you-that has effected my life is insane. no compassion just hate and ideology from the hateful and angry “pinchebot”
What is really gonna be hilarious (for me laughing at the MAGA loons) is when they start kicking people out of the military (trans, women, etc) and need more bodies. With enlistments down, how will they fill them? Draft, baby, draft. All the incels, drafted. Let’s not forget when they deport people, who will fill those jobs? Poor kids that don’t need to go to school. Eh, who needs public school for anyone. Put them kids to work in the fields.
People really have no idea what Project 2025 is and protest voters (Gaza) and people who didn’t vote, you own this fucking mess.
really not sure what is going on in these comments but personally i really enjoyed this breakdown, thank you!
Zionism is the Jewish people’s movement for self determination and justice in their homeland. Antizionism is antisemitism stupid antisemite. Queer bigots are the worst.
We’re all painfully aware of how bleak the political and social landscapes are for us trans and non-binary people right now, and we so often see that bleakness reflected in trans fiction. There’s no shortage of dark and scary stories about the trans experience which painfully reflect our own lived experiences (I know better than anyone, having written a book of trans horror stories).
But there are also tales of trans joy out there — books which express so much joy for the trans and non-binary experiences. From trans memoirs that revel in the beauty of transition to sci-fi novels, manga, and quiet literary dramas that give us a reason to be proud, these books remind us that being trans is, in fact, a celebration!
In 2021, video games journalist Laura Kate Dale collected and edited together a book of personal stories from nineteen trans, non-binary, and intersex people telling uplifting tales of their own gender euphoria. The result is a comforting collection that reminds us, in more than a dozen different ways, that existing outside the cisgender system is exciting, thrilling, soothing, and healing.
Keep a copy of Gender Euphoria by your bed or on your coffee table for those days when being trans feels like a curse. The stories in here will bring you comfort and serve as a reminder that being trans is actually quite the opposite: it’s a gift.
An insightful and inspiring trans story, Meredith Russo’s If I Was Your Girl is a YA romance which follows Amanda, the new girl. Having just moved schools, she wants to fit in and make friends. But she is also determined to keep her trans identity a secret. However, she soon meets a boy with whom she wants to share everything. By keeping her secret guarded, she is keeping him at arm’s length.
If I Was Your Girl is a reminder that we need more own voices transgender stories that actually focus on the happiness, the relief, the honesty, and the positivity of the trans experience. Stories written by trans people that see us get the happy endings we deserve.
Felix Ever After — a coming-of-age romantic drama about a young Black trans boy — is one of the most banned books in the US, and this is likely because it paints being trans as a wonderful and liberating thing. How dare we get our happy endings!
The novel follows Felix, a seventeen-year-old trans boy from Brooklyn, who lives with a father who has financially supported his medical transition but still makes a lot of social mistakes around his name and gender. He has a best friend, and the pair have a shared nemesis named Declan. When Felix is publicly humiliated, he believes Declan did it, and he hatches a plan for revenge. But this plan will cause Felix and Declan to grow closer and better understand each other.
What begins as a heartbreaking drama blossoms into a page-turner of a romance with the young trans experience taking centre stage.
The very existence of Aiden Thomas’ Cemetery Boys is a transgender celebration, being the first ever book by a trans author (and featuring a trans protagonist) to make the New York Times Bestseller list. That protagonist is Yadriel, a young trans man from an LA-based Latinx family of brujos and brujas with a magical connection to the afterlife.
While conducting a summoning — with the goal of proving himself as a brujo — Yadriel accidentally conjures the wrong ghost. Instead of his late cousin, the spirit which latches itself to him is that of an infamous punk kid from Yadriel’s school. With no choice but to help Julian solve his own murder, Yadrial finds himself becoming more and more attached.
Nothing can sell this book as well as its own blurb: “A defiantly joyful adventure set in California’s San Gabriel Valley, with cursed violins, Faustian bargains, and queer alien courtship over fresh-made donuts.”
Light from Uncommon Stars dares to do many things: it dares to blend genres in the most awkward ways; it dares to lean into tropes before turning them on their heads; and it dares to centre a young trans runaway in an adventure filled with Faustian deals and aliens in disguise.
A classical musician has made a Faustian bargain and must trade the souls of violin prodigies to protect herself, but her strength of will is diminished when she meets trans violin prodigy Katrina Nguyen and retired starship captain Lan Tran. What follows is a bizarre queer romance, a trans coming-of-age tale, and a mad adventure.
A transmasculine manga, written and drawn by a transmasculine creator, and even translated by a transmasculine translator, To Strip the Flesh is a warming tale of truth and acceptance. Protagonist Chiaki makes a living as a YouTuber, filming himself stripping the flesh from animals his father hunts. He presents as a woman and is harassed by viewers for his beauty and curves. His father is also dying and hopes to see Chiaki become a bride before he passes.
Chiaki’s father doesn’t want his “daughter” to hunt because it isn’t a woman’s place, but Chiaki is, in fact, a man. And with time ticking away, he has to decide what to tell his father. This is an uplifting tale of self-acceptance, of trans liberation, and of stripping the flesh both literally and figuratively, in order to find what is good and true underneath.
The most perfectly titled book on this list, Trans Mission: My Quest to a Beard is a transmasculine memoir full of laugh-out-loud moments. Trans memoirs are often inspiring and bittersweet, but Bertie’s is an all-out celebration of truth, self-acceptance, and the fun messiness of transitioning.
As a coming-of-age memoir sprinkled with advice for other trans men, Trans Mission is a welcome breath of fresh air; an inspiring, comforting, and often hilarious book. It is difficult not to feel excited and at peace on Bertie’s behalf when we see a trans person thriving and finding so much happiness in the way that he has.
A wonderfully dynamic and beautiful novel, written in an entirely epistolary style, Summer Fun is one of the most unique trans novels you’re ever likely to read. It is set in 2009 and is composed of letters written by a young trans woman to a famous musician she admires and is inspired by.
That musician is B—, singer of The Get Happies, a band which defined the sound of Americana in the 1960s. Protagonist Gala has always found a kinship with B— and his band’s music. And so, through her letters, she spills her life story. We learn about her youth, her art, and her relationships. Summer Fun is a wonderfully warming and moving tale.
Like so many positive trans stories, I Wish You All The Best begins with tragedy, upset, and fear, before light breaks through the clouds and hope becomes the book’s dominant feeling. This YA romance follows Ben, a teenager who has just been kicked out of their home after coming out as non-binary to their parents. Living now with their older sister and her husband, Ben vows to keep a low profile and just get through what remains of high school.
But soon enough, Ben is brought into the fold by Nathan, a charming student whom Ben begins to develop more complicated feelings for. Suddenly, the world seems brighter and a more positive future can be seen on the horizon.
Bellies is a bittersweet and deeply empathetic novel that speaks to the messy truth—as well as the liberation that comes later—of transitioning from one identity to another. It’s a story very much about love, but that doesn’t make it a romance. We begin with Ming and Tom, two boys who meet at university and begin dating, but after a few years together and university behind them, Ming comes to realise the truth about who she really is.
Ming’s transition leads to tension and heartbreak. We see it all unravel from both perspectives, but we also see how they must grow into themselves and learn to better understand one another. Bellies paints a very real picture of transitioning, and how those who transition are not the only ones who grow and change.
Willow Heath is a Scotland-based writer, poet, and media critic. She is author of the queer horror collection Managing and Other Lies, is a co-founder of the literature and culture blog Books and Bao, and she runs the YouTube channel Willow Talks Books.
Willow has written 3 articles for us.
Love this list!! another one I just read that was so sweet and beautiful especially if you’re a soccer fan was The Passing Playbook by Isaac Fitzsimmons, definitely recommend!
thank you i needed this today!
Netflix’s latest Taiwanese drama Born for the Spotlight shines the limelight on the friendships we strive to maintain as we age. The series follows a group of actresses as they navigate the Taiwanese entertainment industry while juggling their interpersonal lives including some close queer friendships. Think Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants meets Big Little Lies meets The Idol (but without an iota of Levinson trashiness).
The group includes Chou Fan (Cheryl Yang), a carefree high-class diva and adored starlet who has not appeared on-screen for some time and currently resides in a luxurious hotel; Chou Fan’s ex-best friend Hsueh Ya-chih (Hsieh Ying-xuan), a reserved former actress who transitioned into being a manager and film producer; their longtime friend, Ko Li-fen (Cherry Hsieh), best known for her Soap Opera roles who gets cast in her daughter TB’s (Angel Lee) first feature; and Hsin-ni (Annie Chen), a model and a client of Ya-chih, going through relationship issues.During Ya-chih’s husband Lee Tzu-chi’s (Hsueh Shih-lin) new film, another actress arives: Shih Ai-ma (Chloe Li), a hungry young wannabe star that idolizes Chou Fan. As she navigates her own path to stardom, Ai-ma tends to leave plenty of burned bridges behind.
The greatest strength of Born for the Spotlight lies in its ensemble. The first half of the season is its strongest because it builds up the entertainment world and all the people who fit into it. Everyone who occupies this industry landscape is full of personality and life, as the tone reflects a bridge between network drama and sitcom.All the characters, most of whom are middle-aged, feel well-rounded and complex, having experienced lives and careers reflective of their age. The writers rack up a lot of mileage discussing the misogynistic standards an actress has to adhere to and the pressure to hide sexualities, relationships, facial surgeries, and more.
Each character is equipped with a significant storyline that is well-developed between the episodes. One of the most captivating aspects of its first half was the subplot involving TB and her mother, Ko Li-fen. TB might seem like a nepo baby, with her cool lesbian persona, flirtatious demeanor, and hipster chic style, but her background is of traumatic memories and neglect. Yet, she suppresses it. When she reluctantly casts Ko Li-fen, or Ms. Ko as she calls her, as her mom, an inviting dissection of her childhood and relationship with her is on display. With her mom playing a fictionalized version of herself in her autobiographical tale, it leads to a harrowing and touching reflection of self and a journey toward healing. Unfortunately, that subplot reaches its conclusion halfway through the season once the production is complete.
Born for the Spotlight is full of countless subplots, but the second half in particular highlights the deep friendship between Chou Fan and Ya-chih and the ramifications of their falling out.
The series starts off with the duo already apart and estranged from each other. Chou Fan was so heartbroken by their falling out that she decided to take a long hiatus from acting, resorting to alcohol, and living out in a hotel to hide from the public. Meanwhile, Ya-chih is living large as a manager but suspects strange happenings with her marriage. All of this while operating within the same friend circle.
As the series progresses, we get an intricate dissection of their friendship, via a stylish, Michel-Gondry-esque flashback episode at the midpoint. The episode illustrates their closeness and shows they’re the only ones who deeply understand each other. There is a passion between them that goes beyond sisterhood and platonic love. Despite them having very hetero storylines in the present — particularly Chou Fan who has a rather cutesy budding romance with a young male bellhop Rogue (Zhan Huai-yun) — the friendship between Chou Fan and Ya-chih is the heart of the series.
The cast overall sells it too, with Cheryl Yang and Hsieh Ying-xuan delivering some of the most potent performances I’ve seen on television all year. Their portrayals ground these characters despite their heightened entertainment industry occupations.
The queer themes and characters are not explored nearly as much as the marketing promised, but Born for the Spotlight is still a powerful drama worth a watch.
Born for the Spotlight is now streaming on Netflix.
Rendy Jones (they/he) is a film and television journalist born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. They are the world's first gwen-z film journalist and owner of self-published independent outlet Rendy Reviews, a member of the Critics' Choice Association, GALECA, and a screenwriter. They have been seen in Vanity Fair, Them, RogerEbert.com, Rolling Stone, and Paste.
Rendy has written 16 articles for us.
I haven’t watched this yet but it sounds interesting! Hooray Taiwanese queer representation! Thank you for shining a light on it
For once, the homophobes were right.
If you strolled down a middle school hallway in November 2009, chances are some random guys would cackle at any mention of Jacob Black, Bella Swan, or Edward Cullen with utterances of “gayyyy.” This was an age of movies hinging entire gags on “do you know how I know you’re gay?” where the height of comedy for man-children and actual male children everywhere was to label something with these three little letters. No wonder, then, something aimed at women like the Twilight franchise constantly earned this designation.
Here’s the thing, though: They were unfortunately onto something — just not in the way they intended. Noxious YouTube trolls, teens hooked on Rucka Rucka Ali Pandora channels, and Smosh devotees circa. 2010 declared Twilight as gay because it wasn’t directly aimed at their sensibilities. But over time, countless aspects of this franchise have become embraced by the queer community as “gay” in a good way. Those shirtless werewolves. Michael Sheen putting his whole pussy into an evildoer performance. Instantly iconic campy lines like “you named her after the Loch Ness Monster?” Even Kristen Stewart herself recently declared that these movies were “so gay.”
I’m afraid your middle school bully was right about one thing: Twilight is gay. Very gay. But how?? What vein must you puncture in the Twilight Saga to release a cascading flood of queerness? Hang on tight spider-monkey…it’s time to look at how queerness manifests in these sparkly vampire movies.
Much of Twilight’s queer reputation as a film franchise comes down to that very first installment. Much like Cyndi Lauper’s She’s So Unusual album or the inaugural season of Heroes, 2008’s Twilight cast a long creative shadow over everything else that came after. This is the movie that bore so many of the most ubiquitous memes and reaction images. Plus, it’s the title that expanded the Twilight fan base beyond devotees of the books. Most importantly, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke, whether intentionally or not, imbued the proceedings with a deeply queer sensibility.
Part of what makes Twilight queerer than its successors is that screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg is adapting a more intimate story. Later larger forms of conflict like the ticking clock of Edward and Bella having to get married or the machinations of evil Volturi coven aren’t around yet. Instead, the focus is on high school outsiders who, naturally, can allegorically register as queer. After all, Edward Cullen and his family want nothing more than their vampirism to remain secret from larger society lest they experience tremendous prejudice and even violence. They’re a bunch of closeted homos that happen to drink blood and run really fast. That’s the kind of allegorical reading that bubbles closer to the surface without the grander mythology propping up, say, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
Meanwhile, the more unabashedly ludicrous elements of Twilight just reek of queer camp. By the early-to-mid-2010s, movies everywhere from Jurassic World to Money Monster would be employing sickening light blue color grading for no good reason. Back in 2008, though, Twilight’s pervasively blue hues felt a little subversive of mainstream cinema visual norms. Queers and vampires alike are never fully “normal” as society narrowly defines that term. The inescapable blue in Hardwicke’s Twilight visually reflected this reality. Meanwhile, enjoyably preposterous sequences like vampires playing baseball are just the kind of nonsense that gays eat up.
Queerness also soaked deeper into Hardwicke’s Twilight thanks to the circumstances surrounding this feature’s origins. Hollywood was incredibly dubious of turning Twilight into a movie back in the mid-2000s. That’s why it existed as an independent feature financed and distributed through small label Summit Entertainment. After Twilight’s massive success, the sequels became pop culture events that executives and marketers obsessed over. Once New Moon had a Nordstrom fashion line and Eclipse had a Burger King tie-in, the saga had to adhere to slightly more heterosexual and mainstream expectations.
To be clear, 2008’s Twilight was no arthouse movie. It was decidedly mainstream with no explicit queer characters in sight and plenty of merchandise heralding its release. However, there’s a reason Breaking Dawn – Part One hasn’t spawned nearly as many memes or appreciative Tumblr posts about its queerness as the original film. This 2008 Hardwicke directorial effort exhibited confidence in embracing source material Hollywood shunned that alone attracted queer viewers. Here was a comparative pop culture “underdog” unabashedly embracing its weirder tendencies like an intimate scene hinging on Edward having to suck just the right amount of Bella’s blood. Gays inevitably gravitated towards the artistic conviction that also underscored past queer cinema staples like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
It doesn’t hurt too that Hardwicke helmed Twilight. She’s a filmmaker whose works tend to intersect with interests, themes, and performers appealing to the queer community. For one thing, she directed Thirteen which features a moment of teen rebellion via a lesbian kiss. Her willingness to focus on messy women in general — Thirteen, yes, but also Plush! — has also garnered her enthusiasm from this demographic. Not to mention she’s made multiple films with queer favorite Toni Collette. Heck, Hardwicke was even once set to direct a lesbian Viking movie! Alas, Hardwicke was jettisoned from Twilight after just one movie. Like so many other big franchises with largely women fanbases (see also: Fifty Shades of Grey), a woman director did all the work to launch the franchise before getting pushed aside for male directors on the sequels. Hooray for Hollywood!
Subsequent Twilight entries weren’t devoid of queer material. Just look at the wave of buff shirtless dudes hanging around with Jacob Black in later entries. However, eventual directors like Chris Weitz and David Slade dialed back some of the campier elements of the original Twilight for their outings. They were now interested in recapturing the lightning of the bottle of the first movie, not tantalizing queer views. Plus, somebody like Weitz was most experienced with co-directing and helming movies like American Pie, The Golden Compass, and AfrAId. These aren’t exactly queer classics. Nor are they features rife with bold swings for the gays.
Brief flashes of queer madness would creep into these movies, but typically, the Twilight saga was content in the post-2008 era to replay the hits and not push boundaries. Worst of all, 2011’s The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part One featured lots of creepy quasi-anti-choice dialogue related to Bella’s fetus. Spouting nonsense about clumps of cells being “humans,” not to mention reducing Bella Swan to just being a spectator largely lying on a couch, reaffirmed reductive societal and cinematic norms about women. Between its gender politics and stale bright lighting (which could’ve existed in any movie), Breaking Dawn – Part One was regurgitating cishet cinema standards, not cheekily challenging them.
Ironically, the nadir of Twilight cinema was immediately followed by one of its greatest installments. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part Two ended the series on a high note infused with some honest to goodness queer energy. With Bella Swan now a vampire thirsting after blood, this character gets to hunger after a mountain climber and angrily throws Jacob Black across long distances like a used tissue. Queer cinema is full of women subverting gender norms by being messy, violent, and unhinged. We love a Jennifer from Jennifer’s Body or the titular lead of Frankenhooker. Swan in Breaking Dawn – Part Two captures that phenomenon by becoming a gnarly undead figure.
The feature’s finale, meanwhile, ratchets up the madness for what’s eventually revealed to be a dream sequence of how a showdown between our heroes and the Volturi coven COULD go down. Initially, though, Breaking Dawn – Part Two plays out this potential outcome as its actual climax. This makes the sight of longstanding characters getting their heads sliced up or people tumbling into gigantic lava-filled chasms incredibly shocking. This saga has gone from Dawson’s Creek to Lord of the Rings on bath salts in the blink of an eye!
Director Bill Condon (the only openly queer director to work within the Twilight saga) executes this maximalist fake-out ending with nary a wink to the audience. That confident execution of outlandish material is what defines camp classics. After all, camp is, to quote John Waters on The Simpsons, “the tragically ludicrous, the ludicrously tragic!” Oh, also, it’s also the installment that gives Michael Sheen an extravagant amount of screentime to play Aro. Sheen, decked out in pale makeup and with a wild smile constantly plastered on his face, absolutely chews up the screen in a hammy performance that would make Tim Curry proud. He became a fixture of lustful Tumblr posts and queer fan-fiction, and his campy presence further solidified Breaking Dawn – Part Two‘s queer bonafidas.
Nearly two decades after the Twilight film series began, it’s now clear this franchise’s queerest impulses were found in its beginning and its ending. In between, there’s a lot of padding (especially in Breaking Dawn – Part One) and unfortunate adherence to heteronormativity. Stripping away Hardwicke from this saga and replacing her with go-to male genre movie directors undoubtedly impacted the presence of queerness in this saga. Not even lines like Bella Swan’s declaration in Eclipse that “from now on I’m Switzerland, OK?” could keep heteronormativity at bay.
Just because Twilight wasn’t wall-to-wall queerness, though, doesn’t mean its enduring popularity with the gays is inexplicable. After all, this is a saga with a close proximity to the goth scene that emphasized women’s perspectives and romance, starred a super gay lead actress, and was often ridiculed by cishet folks. No wonder so many LGBTQIA+ folks have a soft spot for these titles, especially those who grew up with Twilight and look back on it with nostalgia. While these five movies may fluctuate in queerness the ultra-queer high points make it clear why everyone from your high school bullies to Kristen Stewart couldn’t stop calling Twilight “super gay.”
Lisa Laman is a life-long movie fan, writer, and Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic located both on the autism spectrum and in Texas. Given that her first word was "Disney", Lisa Laman was "doomed" from the start to be a film geek! In addition to writing feature columns and reviews for Collider, her byline has been seen in outlets like Polygon, The Mary Sue, Fangoria, The Spool, and ScarleTeen. She has also presented original essays related to the world of cinema at multiple academic conferences, been a featured guest on a BBC podcast, and interviewed artists ranging from Anna Kerrigan to Mark Wahlberg. When she isn’t writing, Lisa loves karaoke, chips & queso, and rambling about Carly Rae Jepsen with friends.
Lisa has written 16 articles for us.
Ah, Spotify Wrapped, the annual tradition of people posting their most listened to artists and songs with captions like, “Yup I’m gay” or “No surprises here” or “This is because I fall asleep to ocean noise.”
The fact is I love Spotify Wrapped. I love hearing about what artists my friends have enjoyed most this year and being reminded of artists I also love or learning about new artists I could someday love. Is Spotify evil? Absolutely. But that’s why it’s important to also support the artists you love via vinyl or merch or concert tickets or Bandcamp purchases. (Especially indie artists… Taylor Swift will be fine even if you don’t buy every special limited edition remix of a remix Target exclusive glow in the dark Taylor’s version.)
Beyond not paying the artists, another reason Spotify — the company I’m aware I’m celebrating today — is bad is their increasing use of AI. I know, I know, algorithms have been part of their thing for awhile. But the quality of the algorithm has decreased in recent years as the nonsense on the app has increased. That includes the microgenres they’ve included this year as part of Spotify Wrapped. Focusing on June, July, and August, mine were: Pink Pilates Princess Strut Pop, Theatrical West End Broadway, and Rainy Day Permanent Wave Art Pop. Those certainly are… words.
So I’m here to provide twelve alternate subgenres that actually mean something. To me, anyway.
My January
Artists Include: Chappell Roan, Tove Lo, Kylie Minogue
I traveled to my girlfriend’s TV premiere, had friends visit, and generally was celebrating living in New York again after half a decade away. Sometimes not even cold weather is enough to keep you inside and pop music is the secret. I was hot to go, I was staying high, I was gonna cancel but then I didn’t.
My February
Artists Include: Kehlani, Rett Madison, Whitney Houston
Two of my best friends got married!! GAY MARRIED!!! And also turns out late winter is a lot better when newly living with your girlfriend.
My March
Artists Include: Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, The Beatles
Those last weeks of winter when the cold just won’t quit, I often find myself turning to nostalgia. Sometimes that means a high school fave, but sometimes I go back even further and remember that my dad’s taste in music makes some points. Springsteen is the only one I listen to regularly, but “Vienna”?? Billy Joel really did something with that one.
My April
Artists Include: Carole King, Wafia, Joan Armatrading
Okay, yes, my girlfriend and I moved in together, but she’s Canadian so we do still have to go back and forth and sometimes spend time apart. So this month was defined by longinggggggg. Sometimes sad, sometimes grateful, always lots of feelings.
My May
Artists Include: Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, Beyoncé, Isaac Dunbar
Challengers and the Challengers score had a grip on me — had? has! — in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Do I play tennis? I do not. But being a tennis slut is more of a frame of mind. So, yes, this includes Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ Challengers score — it also includes music that makes me generally feel like Tashi Duncan.
My June
Artists Include: Charli xcx, SOPHIE, Robyn
I don’t care that every corporation and politician tried to co-opt brat. It was the album of the year and it’s so good and I love it and I love that it inspired me to finally be the Charli xcx fan I always should have been. What a fun gay month of being gay and listening to the first straight woman I’ve had a devastating crush on in years. (Are we sure she still just has bi VIBES?? Are we SURE??)
My July
Artists Include: Indigo De Souza, Joni Mitchell, Griff
The Spotify robot is obsessed with rainy days, so here let’s do a rainy vibe that has some logic to it. I spent the summer in Toronto and I really do think the Canadian summer rains have such a different vibe than a fun chaotic Brooklyn summer rain. Sometimes mellow is needed, especially the month after pride.
My August
Artists Include: Paramore, Bright Eyes, Ingrid Michaelson
Okay, now it’s time for high school faves. I visited my hometown which always brings up some leftover angst vibes. What’s it called when nostalgia is bad? Is that still nostalgia? I listen to Paramore all the time (and Hayley Williams’ solo stuff) but the other two are reserved solely for trips back to the suburbs.
My September
Artists Include: Troye Sivan, Devon Again, Janelle Monáe
I never stopped listening to Charli. This was the month I went to Sweat Tour so I also learned to appreciate her gay friend Troye. Also if you haven’t heard Devon Again’s “Cherry Cola” it was one of my summer obsessions.
My October
Artists Include: Fiona Apple
Fiona Apple is a genre. It includes the music of Fiona Apple. A lot of cool things happened to me in October (I released my movie!) but while I was being fabulous on Instagram I was also going through a ton of health stuff and generally feeling quite depressed about all that. Thank God for Fiona Apple, who, yes, I listen to every day of every week of every year, but who was especially helpful for me in October.
My November
Artists Include: Solange, The Chicks, Fiona Apple
I don’t know if you heard but there was an election in the U.S. in November and the greater of two evils won. I’m thankful for music that helps me wallow and also cheer me up and also inspire me to fight. Special shoutouts to Solange’s “Six O’Clock Blues” and Fiona Apple’s “Under the Table.”
My December
Artists Include: Mariah Carey, Bing Crosby, Barbra Streisand
I agree that Spotify Wrapped should come out in January and include the entire year. And yet I do fear Christmas music would then make it onto my list. I’m sorry, but I love this season in a corny way I have no business feeling as a Jew. Yes, I was born on Christmas Eve. No, I don’t feel cheated. Everyone is always celebrating around my birthday! How fun! This year, I got my first ever Christmas tree so I’m really leaning in.
Merry Spotify Wrapped to you all and to all a goodnight.
Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Drew Burnett has written 624 articles for us.
agree 100% fiona apple is a genre, a mood, a definitive moment in the life of a young woman of the world
I do think Spotify could have summed up my summer with the genre “Daddy?” (Noah Kahan, Wilco, Bruce Springsteen) but they’d never dream that up in a million years
Re Charli xcc:
Charli call me if you’re with it.
As they say.
🤣
Charli’s on her way. I feel it. :D
Amazing Post and Very Great Content about Spotify Wrapped…..You Must Visit: https://spotiwap.com/
I particularly appreciated March but you forgot to mention River of Dreams.
Every year, inflation creeps up while my budget slides further down the drain. I always tell myself I’ll take a more frugal approach with holiday gift-giving, but that always goes out the window. My love language is gift-giving, so a part of me slowly fades away when I come across the perfect, meaningful (probably expensive) gift for a loved one I probably shouldn’t get. Each year, I usually try to incorporate some sort of small, handmade item into my gifts. Typically this looks like simple DIY ornaments I give to my aunts and uncles. However, I desperately need to kick my inner cozy craft gay into gear so I can make many beautiful things for many beautiful people that actually feel like they have meaning and value.
There’s a reason I usually limit my craft gifts to small hard-to-mess-up ornaments and it’s because — despite the many DIY pieces I’ve written for Autostraddle — I’m not very good at the execution part. It always feels like I end up with something a 6th grader might give their mom for Mother’s Day. My remedy for this is to do research and start early. I find most well-crafted projects take multiple steps over the course of a few days or weeks so, as a procrastinator, this doesn’t bode well for me. But I assure you this year will be different! I’ve sorted some craft ideas by medium/project so you can find the supplies you need for that specific gift. The most important thing is to get these supplies ASAP!!! Good luck (to you and to me), and happy crafting!
1. Clay ($10)
2. Paint ($6)
3. All-in-One Clay Kit ($25)
Air-dry clay is all over my TikTok page, so that’s my chosen medium for the holiday season this year. In general, it’s good practice to get a separate cutting board to use as a crafting workstation, so regardless of the project I would suggest getting something like this. According to the craft girlies of TikTok, DAS air-dry clay is a great option for beginners. You’ll probably want clay-specific tools for precision and detail (so it doesn’t look like a middle school craft). The Gesso will be your priming coat before acrylic paint. After you paint it, you can use a glossy varnish to seal everything and make it pretty. Overwhelmed? Get an all-in-one kit, many of which are available on Etsy.
I attempted a few different resin projects in the height of COVID and none of them turned out great. However, I know where I failed, and I’ll share my newfound wisdom with you. I’ve linked epoxy resin, but you can also get UV resin. Epoxy resin is essentially air dry while UV requires a special light contraption for curing. This is probably the better option if you’re looking to make something that gets used a lot like dice or earrings. I like this specific bundle because it comes with gloves, popsicle sticks, and pouring contraptions. You will absolutely need all of these things! I’ve included a general kit of silicon molds, but you’ll need to purchase the mold of the thing you actually want to make. You could make your own molds, but I strongly discourage it. It’s a messy and confusing process that’s not worth the money. After this, you’ll want to get some mica powder to add color. Some people like to add dried flowers, tokens, or momentos as well. Finally, make sure you have a hair dryer on hand to blow out all the bubbles while the resin cures. Also, make sure you’re up on resin/epoxy safety if you’re a true beginner!
Soaps and scrubs are super easy and can look really fancy if packaged the right way. For bar soaps, you’ll want to get a fun silicone mold shape and the soap base of your choice. You could get goat’s milk, honey, glycerin, shea butter, aloe, oatmeal, or countless others. I’ve linked the most basic and least expensive, but it’s truly all preference. After you melt and pour, you can add in body-safe essential oils and colors, and then you’re done! Make sure to get some clear cellophane and fun ribbon to package it all up.
As for the scrubs or the soaks, get some granulated sugar or epsom salts, add in your favorite essential oils or coloring, and add to a fun clear jar!
1. Plant Kit ($23)
2. Dogs Kit ($20)
3. Clothing Kit ($30)
4. Purse Kit ($24)
If you already know how to knit, braid, or sew, then you probably already have the tools and supplies you need. However, I’m not a huge fan of yarn and needle work, so my suggestions are all for the DIY beginners. You could make a tie blanket, a little stuffed animal, or a scarf. If you want to get really crafty, you could even buy kits to make accessories.
1. Earring Backs ($5)
2. Bead Kit 1 ($22)
3. Bead Kit 2 ($19)
What’s great about jewelry projects is that you can use elements from resin, clay, painting, and fabric projects you’ve already made. If you’re looking to make resin pendants or earrings, it might be easiest to purchase a silicone mold for the specific shape you want. You’ll need a chain or string of your choice, some clasps, and then earring hooks if you’re making earrings. You could even purchase a bead kit that includes all the bits and bobs for you.
1. Kit 1 ($38)
2. Kit 2 ($44)
3. Kit 3 ($26)
4. Colors and Scents ($18)
You’ll need your preferred type of wax, wicks, and a heat safe container. As someone who’s gone out to get all the individual parts needed to make different types of candles, I can assure you that getting one of the linked kits above is far easier and cost effective. However, you can always buy soy or beeswax in bulk, hot glue some wicks to the bottom of a mason jar, melt your wax in a double boiler situation over the stove, and mix in fragrance oils using a popsicle stick. It’s messy, but it’s truly DIY, so if you go this route, make sure to get a cheap pan at the thrift store solely for wax melting. While you’re there, go ahead and collect fun containers to use for your candles!
TK
1. Gift Tags ($7)
2. Note Cards ($8)
3. Ribbon ($18)
4. Twine ($7)
5. Cellophane ($7)
The possibilities for cute snack gifts are endless. While I could write a whole guide to different types of treats, what I want to focus on here is the craft element of it. Like I previously mentioned, when it comes to gifting, it’s all about how it’s packaged. For example, if you make the classic mason jar hot chocolate gift, make sure to get a cute ribbon to tie around the jars. You could also step it up a notch by making a chocolate spoon using thrifted or chic spoons. Or if you make peppermint bark, you can seal it in some fun cellophane and attach a hand-written note.
Originally from Toledo, Ohio, Em now lives in Los Angeles where she does many odd jobs in addition to writing. When she's not sending 7-minute voice messages to friends and family, she enjoys swimming, yoga, candle-making, tarot, drag, and talking about the Enneagram.
Em has written 79 articles for us.
i ASPIRE to make candles myself one day so hopefully my wife will see this and buy me what i need to make my dream a reality
Lesbian Christmas movies: the final frontier. In a Christmas Movie landscape dominated by heterosexual workaholic girl-bosses returning to their hometowns in power suits and falling for heterosexual males who do artisan/manual labor, for many years nary a lesbian or bisexual woman, let alone a non-binary person, dared to make an appearance. It’s usually been hard to find any LGBTQ+ Christmas movies at all, but in recent years gay men have been emerging out of the corners into the Christmas spotlight in droves and also, occasionally, a wee lesbian, queer or trans woman or a non-binary person has earned a few minutes under the mistletoe. In 2020, Clea Duvall’s Happiest Season starring Kristen Stewart broke records for Hulu, and subsequent years have even brought some queer stories from Lifetime (Under the Christmas Tree, 2021) and Hallmark (Friends & Family Christmas, 2023). Although we’ve rarely found ourselves in the mainstream Christmas movie spotlight, we have shown up as side characters and in indie films here and there, and in this genre it seems we’ll take what we can get!
This list is in chronological order and includes every Christmas and Hanukkah film with LGBTQ+ women and/or non-binary characters, even if they are mediocre — and the vast majority of the cinema films on this list could be described as somewhere on the continuum from “bad” to “mediocre.” Even minor queer characters are included because yes we are that desperate. It does not include short films that are under 30 minutes, but there are three films that hover in that space between “short” and “feature length.”
dir. Maria Crespo & Moises Romera, 2024 // theaters & on demand dec 6
Aitana returns home to see her family for the first time in three years, excited for them to meet her wife and their new baby — only to find her family, in their Spanish countryside villa, have moved a Romanian refugee, Nadia, into Atiana’s bedroom, giving her Atiana’s clothes and family heirlooms. “A twisty thriller that locates the uncanny in the reflexive cordiality of the holiday season,” You are Not Me promises “a dark and disturbing dispatch from the most irrational realm: family.”
dir. Sarah Rotella, 2024
This Christmas rom-com follows Maggie and Julianne, ex-girlfriends who traversed very different paths after a bitter breakup and now find themselves both home for the holidays and reunited. The town comes complete with enthusiastic meddling gossips, hijinks, holiday magic, a cute diner and ghosts of exes past. Diva Magazine calls it “refreshingly laid-back, filled with joy, authenticity and relatable moments.”
Rent Last Exmas on Google Play.
dir. Marni Banack, 2024 // hallmark tv movie
The lesbian character is blurry in the back, you can see her multi-colored hair. Unfortunately this is the only image of her I have at my disposal at this time (©2024 Hallmark)
Queer actor Katherine Barrell (Wynonna Earp) co-stars in this time travel Hallmark Christmas movie where a workaholic divorce lawyer (Eva Bourne), destined to spend Christmas alone, is catapulted back to 1999 with the help of her magical Uber driver (aforementioned Kat Barrell), where she realizes all she gave up to focus on her ambitious career! Her sister, Alexa (Alex Hook), is a lesbian.
After its Hallmark debut on November 29, the film was available to stream on Peacock, but it has since evaporated. In the meantime it’s allegedly available on Fubu.
dir. Micheal Middelkoop, 2024 // viaplay
This Dutch black comedy finds a large family “in yet another Christmas dinner full of misunderstandings, accusations, bickering and maybe even in the escalating hostage of an attention-seeking adolescent son.” The family includes middle child Jos, 28, who “changes the world around with her tolerance and open mindedness – until her girlfriend wants to have a threesome.”
Stream (this is not) a chritstmas movie on viaplay
dir. Alexandra Swarens, 2024 // tello movie
Bailey (Alexandra Swarens) and Sam (Mak Shealy) meet unexpectedly on a lonely Valentine’s Day in their small Ohio town when Bailey makes an erroneous delivery for a cancelled Galentine’s Party to Sam’s apartment, where she works as a computer programmer. She’s lonely, and they bond over pastries and strike up a holiday-related friendship that has the potential for something more. (This is being marketed as a Christmas movie but Christmas is given equal bidding to a bunch of other holidays too!)
Rent The Holiday Club on Tello.
dir. B.Danielle Watkins & Onyx Keesha, 2024 // tubi original
A group of lesbian and gay friends head to Miami for a destination Christmas — only to find that their AirBnB double-booked their rental, and they’ll be sharing their holiday with complete strangers. On their instagram, B.Ok Productions describes the film as “double booked and double the drama, this isn’t your typical snowy Christmas—it’s a Miami getaway filled with sun-soaked secrets, rekindled romances, and holiday magic like never before!”
Stream “Mixed Christmas” on Tubi.
dir. Anne Wheeler, 2023 // hallmark tv movie
Humberly Gonzalez and Ali Liebert star in the Hallmark Channel’s very first lesbian Christmas movie. In which photographer Dani (Humberly Gonzalez), overwhelmed by Christmas events and a surprise visit from her parents, asks lawyer Amelia (Liebert) to be her fake girlfriend. If you’ve read any lesbian romance novels, then you are well aware that what begins as a pretend relationship always ends with something more!
Stream “Friends and Family Christmas” on Hallmark.
dir. Stacey N. Harding, 2023 // hallmark tv movie
The only Hanukkah movie on this list, Round and Round is a time-loop delight filled with Jewish humor and one very small lesbian character. The protagonist Rachel (played by queer nonbinary actor Vic Michaelis) is forced to relive the seventh night of Hanukkah repeatedly until she gets it right. Her sister, Shoshanna, is gay and pregnant and married to a woman named Bex.
You should be able to stream Round and Round on Hallmark but apparently you can’t, so instead you can buy it for $7.99 on YouTube.
dir. Jonah Fiengold, 2023 // prime video tv movie
After their son, Graham (some man) cancels his plans to come home for Christmas, the Stroop family goes ahead and invites his ex Ali (Leighton Meester) to their Minnesota family Christmas celebration. Then, of course, Graham shows up after all and all hell breaks loose! More importantly, Graham’s sister Mindy is the best character in the film because she is a lesbian. Unfortunately she is not the main character.
Stream Exmas on Prime Video / Freevee or on Kanopy
dir. Paul and Alicia Schnieder, 2023 // tello movie
Our friends at lesbian film/TV company Tello debuted this film which answers the question “what happens when a single mom and a country girl fall for her ex-husband’s beautiful and sophisticated wedding planner?” The answer is; “she’ll need some Christmas magic to fix the chaos that ensues.” Drew got high and watched this movie for you and had a pretty nice time. There are a lot of horses and Rivkah Reyes is hot.
Stream Holiday I Do on tello..
dir. Tyler MacIntyre, 2023
This “queer Christmas slasher” with loads of LGBTQ+ characters, including a Cool Lesbian Aunt played by scream queen Katharine Isabelle, centers on Winnie (Jane Widdop, Yellowjackets), who saves her town from a psychotic killer on Christmas Eve only to be depressed and suicidal a year later. Then she is drawn into a parallel universe where she learns that without her, things would suck a lot more, and also now the killer is back and she’s gotta team up with the (queer) town misfit Bernie (Jess McLeod) to ID him and get back to real life. According to Kayla, the film contains “a queer love story that’s stocking stuffer candy sweet if not as developed or sharp as I tend to prefer my queer relationships on-screen.”
Stream It’s a Wonderful Knife is streaming on amc+.
dir. Robin Givens, 2022 // BET+ tv movie
It’s the Miles sisters’ first Christmas without their mother, which means they’ve gotta win their town’s annual Christmas Church Cook-Off in her honor — but when social media influencer Aaliyah (Kara Royster) moves in next door, she poses a formidable challenge to the Miles’ crown. She also develops a romantic spark with Tisha (Porscha Coleman), a single mother of a college-age son who’s been out of the dating game for a minute, and their story is actually really cute!
Stream The Christmas Clapback on BET+ or Pluto.
dir. Christin Baker, 2022 // tello tv movie
photo by Josiah Clark
Becca Winters (Dia Frampton) has just finished her starring run in a popular Broadway musical and is heading home for the holidays, where her meddling mother TIlly (Hayat Nesheiwat) and her best friend Lucille (Janet Ivy) are planning more than just Christmas dinner: they wanna reignite the high school romance between Lucille’s non-binary kid Sam (Andi René Christensen) and Becca. Sam is bartending at their family’s bar, Sheridan’s, and is initially wary of the girl who hurt them three years ago. But it doesn’t take much to warm her right back up!
dir. Daryl Wein, 2022 // prime video tv movie
This Christmas rom-com starring queer actress Shay Mitchell and the beloved Zoey Deutch asks the age-old question, “what if two men were at Tiffany’s at the same time and their packages got mixed up and the wrong man went home with an engagement ring?” Most importantly for our purposes here, Zoey Deutch’s Rachel owns a bakery with her best friend, Terri, a lesbian played by Twenties‘ Jojo T. Gibbs. We also are gifted with a few brief glimpses into Terri’s marriage with Sophia (Batwoman‘s Javica Leslie) and well, honestly, the movie is pretty okay!
Stream Something from Tiffany’s on Prime Video.
Dir. Alexandra Swarens, 2022
Taylor’s taken a lot of space from her family so she’s quite surprised when they insist she come home for Christmas and bring her girlfriend, Jess — but Taylor can’t muster up the courage to tell them that she and Jess broke up. Instead, she hires an out-of-work actor to pose as her girlfriend and join her for an extended improv exercise with her family. Sort of like The Proposal but low-budget and gay and the family has a much smaller house.
Stream “Looking For Her” on Tubi.
dir. Lisa Rose Snow, 2021 // lifetime tv movie
Under the Christmas Tree is famously Lifetime’s first-ever lesbian Christmas movie! Elise Bauman is marketing whiz Alma Beltran, who crosses paths with a Christmas Tree Salesperson (?) Charlie while on the hunt for the prefect tree for the Maine Governor’s Holiday Celebration right in Alma’s backyard. What begins with sparring leads to sparking and romance with the help of Ricki Lake, the town’s pâtissière extraordinaire, who is an inspirational figure to all.
Stream Under the Christmas Tree is on Hulu.
dir. David I. Strasser, 2021 // hallmark tv movie
Janel Parish of Pretty Little Liars fame plays event planner Paige in this clunky cookie cutter film. Paige returns home to throw an Around the World party at her family’s inn — and while she’s home she meets “a charming father-son duo” “whose presence brings about tension and joy.” You know the cliche! But also — there are is a cute side lesbian storyline between a Paige’s lesbian assistant and local musician, Mia.
Stream a Coyote Creek Christmas on VOD.
dir. J.E. Logan, 2021 // lifetime tv movie
Fashion photographer Gaby Jones (Tatyana Ali)’s shot at her dream magazine job is in doubt when her editor suggests she’s not ready for the position — but she could mayhaps improve her chances by attending a Christmas Photography Retreat in a Cute Christmasy Town in the Forest. A little snafu at the cabin reservation desk leads her to have an unexpected hot photographer roommate. This is all very cute and well and good but the unexpected situation of interest to us here is that her lesbian photographer friend from NYU, Dani (played by Paula Andrea Placido of The L Word: Generation Q and Hacks), is also at the retreat with her partner, Amelia (Rivkah Reyes), and both lesbians are trying to plan the perfect proposal. While they’re not the central focus of the film, Dani and Amelia get a surprisingly significant amount of screentime!
Stream Picture Perfect Holiday on Lifetime.
dir. Prarthana Mohan, 2021 // prime video tv movie
Emma (Hayley Orrantia) and her Dad (Dermot Mulroney) have lots of beloved Christmas traditions that improve their holiday disposition despite the absence of her mother. But this year she’s in for a nasty surprise: her Dad is dating her high school nemesis, Mona from Pretty Little Liars! Luckily she has a queer BFF, Charlyne (played by non-binary actor Emilie Modaff) to help ease the pain of this terrifying blow.
Stream Christmas is Cancelled on Prime Video.
dir. Michael Robinson, 2021 // hallmark tv movie
Jamie brings his pal Emily home for the holidays to pretend like they are legitimately dating which is fine or whatever, what’s more important is that Jamies’ sister, Becca (Alison Wandzura), is a divorced lesbian and single Mom, thus putting the “lesbian” into this Christmas movie. “She’s able to halt Jamie’s incessant whining with her wry verbal smackdowns!” writes Heather Hogan. “She’s got her own subplot and is more than just a sounding board for the main characters! And she has one scene with Jamie that actually made me laugh out loud for real!”
Stream An Unexpected Christmas on VOD.
dir. Christin Baker, 2021 // tello movie
Heather writes that Christmas at the Ranch is a “horse girl holigay rom-com that feels like fan fiction in the way all the best Hallmark Christmas movies do.” In this actual lesbian Christmas movie, workaholic Haley (Laur Allen) goes home for Christmas, finds out her Meemaw is in debt and also meets the new horse-hand, Kate (Amanda Righetti). Between Haley’s money smarts and Kate’s horsey skills, perhaps this ranch can be saved and also lesbian love.
Stream Christmas at the Ranch on Tubi or rent on tello.
dir. Lisa France, 2021 // lifetime tv movie
Emma (Mary Antonini) and her BFF Liz (Nadine Pinette) own an “artisanal Christmas ornament store” and when a big-time design guru (???!) falls for Emma’s art, she’s gotta cancel her trip home for Christmas. This is a big bummer for her Dad ’cause Mom died literally last year and he is sad and lonely. Emma’s ex, Aaron, is home from Army visiting with Emma’s Dad and when he finds out Emma’s not coming home, he grabs his cousin Sarah (Solange Sookram) and heads into the city to bring her back! This is relevant to you because aforementioned Liz has a thrilling romantic spark with recently mentioned Sarah, who of course runs a soup kitchen.
Stream You Make It Feel Like Christmas on Lifetime.
dir. Maclain Nelson, 2021 // hallmark tv movie
Three estranged sisters come together in their Mississippi hometown to see their Mom and fulfill their father’s dying wish: a Christmas scavenger hunt to find a prized family heirloom. AND IN THE PROCESS THEY ALSO FIND EACH OTHER. Queer actress Ali Liebert plays the lesbian sister, who is making a website for her family woodshop following the closure of her own business in Boston. She meets a girl and they flirt throughout the film, which honestly is terrible but YMMV!
Stream Every Time a Bell Rings on Hallmark+.
dir. Camille Griffin, 2021
This “ambitious but muddled mix of Christmas comedy and apocalyptic drama” centers on a family in a posh English country estate who’ve gathered for the hoilday as a giant toxic cloud sweeps across our wretched neglected planet with the intent of killing everybody! Amongst these humans are Bella (Lucy Punch) and her girlfriend Alex (Kirby Howell-Baptiste). Queer actress Lily-Rose Depp is also featured as the much younger girlfriend of a doctor who is friends with the family.
dir. Scott Hillman, 2021
Picture this: you’re a park ranger and a young person in a suit arrives in your parking lot carrying an axe. You approach them. What is your first question? If you said “what are your pronouns?” you’d be correct!!! This is one of many magical moments in low-budget indie flick The Magical Christmas Tree. (The second question is “I’m wondering what you’re doing with that axe,” obviously.) Pace is an accountant in Los Angeles with a mean boss who is visited off-screen by the ghosts of Christmas past and decides to throw a holiday celebration after all, thus requiring Pace to drive into the mountains to find the perfect tee. As their journey progresses, they find a non-binary elf named Buddy and romance ensues!
Stream The Magical Christmas Tree on Tubi.
dir. Luca Guadagnino, 2021
This tight, atmospheric and precise Christmas indie (it’s about an hour long) from Call Me By Your Name’s Luca Guadagnino stars John C. Reilly as a Santa Claus-ish character resting for a night at a fancy ski resort where a few interconnecting stories are at play. One of them involves the hotel’s overseer, Babette (Hailey Gates) and her apparently tortured romance with her ex-girlfriend, Julia (Francesca Figus), who works at a hotel boutique.
Stream O Night Divine on Zara’s YouTube channel.
dir. Clea Duvall, 2020 // top 10 best lesbian christmas movie
The pitch for this film seemed fantastical from the outset — Kristen Stewart was starring in a lesbian Christmas rom-com made by Clea Duvall? REALLY?!?! Indeed, at the end of a year full of broken dreams (2020), Hulu brought Happiest Season to us all in December. Stewart plays Abby, who gives in to the Christmas spirit she usually resists by heading home to spend the holidays with her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis), who informs her en route that she’s not exactly out to her family. The winning cast includes Dan Levy as Abby’s best friend, Aubrey Plaza as Harper’s ex-girlfriend and Alison Brie as Harper’s uptight sister.
Stream The Happiest Season on Hulu.
dir. Otoja Abit, 2020
This wacky trip of a lesbian Christmas movie sees Jenny (Nia Fairweather), nervous about her engagement to her fiancé, David, when a guardian angel Azraael (Cooper Koch) shows up to give her a vision into the future she could’ve lived but did not — in which she ended up with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle (Adriana DeMeo). “Instead of some far-off Snow White Christmas Village, it’s an queer Afro-Latina looking for love in a very not whitewashed New York,” wrote Carmen in her review.
Stream A New York Christmas Wedding on Tubi and Freevee.
dir. Catherine Cyran, 2020 // hallmark tv movie
The lesbian isn’t in this picture but I don’t have a picture of the lesbian so here we are
Jessica (Katrina Law), finds herself in co-charge of orchestrating a perfect New England Christmas for the recently orphaned nieces and nephew of her CEO, who’s away on business and otherwise would be shipping the kiddos back to boarding school. Her help in this mission is Max, the kids’ other uncle, who is not very paternal. Most important to all of us here today is that Jessica’s BFF, Zoe (Morgana Wyllie), is a lesbian, and she has herself a little romantic subplot with a HOT BARISTA.
Stream Christmas With the Darlings on Hallmark.
dir. Tamika Miller, 2020 // BET tv movie
“After being estranged for nearly three years, the Davenport sisters — Diedre (Asia’h Epperson), Tammy (Candiace Dillard) and Nicole (Brave Williams) — reunite at the family home, just in time for Christmas. But it’s not the holiday spirit that brings everyone home, it’s the promise of collecting a share of their parents’ lottery winnings…which they can only get if they repair the relationships between them. That’s easier said than done, though: Diedre carries some serious emotional scars over having sacrificed so much for sisters when they couldn’t even be bothered to attend her wedding to her wife, Belinda. But all the work on repairing their relationships might be for naught when the winning lottery ticket turns up missing.” — Natalie.
Stream The Christmas Lottery on BET.
dir. Paul Feig, 2019
The lesbian character in Last Christmas is so incredibly minor that if you only half-watched this movie, you could miss her entirely! Directed by Paul Feig (The Office, Bridesmaids), Last Christmas is the story of aspiring singer Kate Andrich (Emilia Clarke), who works at a year-round Christmas store owned by “Santa” (Michelle Yeoh) in London and feels suffocated by her depressed mother, Petra (Emma Thompson), who dotes on her but ignores her sister, Marta (Lydia Leonard), a very successful lawyer who is gay but fears coming out to her parents. Kate meets a hottie named Tom (Henry Golding) and their romance is central to this movie that is brimming with talented actors and yet none of them can transcend the absolutely absurd plot! Also there are cameos from Patti LuPone and Sue Perkins?
dir. Theresa Bennett, 2019 // freeform tv movie
This genuinely adorable Freeform Christmas flick stars Aisha Dee as Jess, who unfortunately dies right after a great first date with Ben (Kendrick Sampson), but then finds herself still hanging out as a ghost! This is great news for her lesbian best friend, Kara (Kimiko Glen) and for Ben — at least at first. It’s a weird little plot that somehow works, but what works best for me personally is the romance between Kara and Ben’s sister, Mae (Jazz Raycole). Plus I mean, it’s Aisha Dee and Kimiko Glen! A treat!
Stream Ghosting:The Spirit of Christmas on Freeform.
dir. Christin Baker, 2019 // tello movie
Another entry in the “intersecting stories” Christmas film genre but this time it’s “intersecting LESBIAN stories.” There’s Sue (Dominique Provost-Chalkley), a musician and Janey (Janelle Marie), her formerly-long distance girlfriend. Kenna (a deaf character played by a deaf actress, Sandra Mae Frank!), who is opening a brewery and Lou (Jessica Clark), a welder she hired for the project. And finally, Iris (Emily Goss) and Mardou (Laur Allen) — Iris is set to marry Mardou’s brother, but he leaves her alone at the altar. “The movie has everything you could want from a cheesy holiday movie,” wrote Valerie in her “Season of Love” review. “Mistletoe mishaps, zero-stakes drama, happily ever afters.”
dir. Luke Snellin, 2019 // netflix tv movie
This decent rom-com promises less wholesome activity than your typical Christmas film, weaving together stories from an intersecting group of teenagers in Laurel, Illinois on a very snowy Christmas Eve. One of these little stories involves Dorrie (played by non-binary actor Liv Hewson of “Yellowjackets”), a lesbian who works at Waffle Town and is having a secret affair with a cheerleader. So you know, come for the lesbian, stay for Joan Cusack driving a truck wrapped in tin foil. Let it Snow is streaming on Netflix.
dir. Alexandra Swarens, 2019
Ainsley (Alexandra Swarens), a somewhat aimless twentysomething, returns from Los Angeles to her small hometown for the holidays and finds herself facing some unexpected lingering trauma in this lesbian Christmas movie. Sophie (Olivia Buckle), a popular cheerleader from Ainsley’s high school, has changed since Ainsley last saw her and is even friends with Ainsley’s Mom — but it’s hard for Ainsley to see past the girls they once were. As Sophie and Ainsley keep being in the same place at the same time, a romance begins to spark!
Stream City of Trees on YouTube.
dir. Steven K. Tsuchida, 2018
Life-Size 2 follows Grace, a twenty-something former socialite at the helm of Marathon Toys, erstwhile manufacturer of Eve Dolls, now that her mother’s been sent to jail. Tyra Banks returns as Grace’s favorite childhood toy Eve, here to usher her through the new slings and arrows of her life. Heather refrained from spoilers in her review because “you deserve to experience the absolute ecstasy of watching Tyra Banks commit to the bananapants wide-eyed wonder of this role again, without being spoiled on all the Easter Eggs.” That said, the queerness of the lead character is very much not central or even center-adjacent to anything that happens in the film but you know we took what we could get in 2018.
dir. John McPhail, 2017
What says “the spirit of Christmas” more than a zombie apocalypse movie musical?? Nothing, that’s what. And that’s exactly what Anna and the Apocalypse is. Starring queer Dickinson actress Ella Hunt, and featuring a prominent lesbian character Steph played by queer actor Sarah Swire, the movie is a bloody romp. While sometimes the big picture metaphor gets a little muddy, it boils down to encouraging you to live in the moment and appreciate what you have because you never know when a deadly pandemic will break out and separate you from the people you love the most. The music is a delight, and Ella Hunt is phenomenally talented, and the movie is campy and fun and may or may not make you cry just a little. Tis the season for watching teens bash zombies over the head with giant candy canes! — Valerie Anne.
Stream Anna and the Apocalypse on Tubi.
dir. Noble Julz and Onyx Keesha, 2017
This very low-budget holiday flick (at times it’s hard to hear the dialogue) follows a group of Atlanta-based queer friends who share a cabin for Christmas: Smith and her wife Chris, their children, her best friends Lindsay and Brighton, and her new coworker, Angel. There’s also a lot of Christianity in this film. We Need a Little Christmas is notable for being focused entirely on a group of Black lesbians, which is a rare treat!
Rent We Need a Little Christmas on LesFlicks.
dir. Todd Haynes, 2015
Have you heard about the movie Carol, it’s about this woman Carol? Played by Cate Blanchett? I believe she has an affectionate “affair” with Therese, who has a stupid boyfriend and wants to be a photographer. Waterloo is involved. So is Sarah Paulson. We have written no less than 63 posts about this film right here on this website!
dir. Sean Baker, 2015
Mya Taylor and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez in TANGERINE, a Magnolia Pictures release. Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures.
This is not a lesbian Christmas movie, but it is a Christmas-adjacent movie about two trans women sex workers of color and this queer list felt incomplete without making note of it. Sin-Dee (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) and Alexandra (Mya Taylor) get out of jail and right back into their chaotic Los Angeles existence on Christmas Eve. Alexandra’s prepping for an upcoming performance and Sin-Dee is prepping to cause a bit of drama regarding her boyfriend, Chester, cheating on her. Naming it the #2 best Christmas movie of all time, Vulture writes that in a list primarily occupied by “prosperous white families,” Tangerine serves as “a corrective to that tradition: “It’s a film as vital, alive, and in touch with the holiday as more traditional entries — an invitation to other filmmakers to redefine what a Christmas movie can be, and as much a story about the importance of human kindness as the one that tops the list.”
dir. Kirk Jones, 2009
When Frank Goode’s children all cancel their plans to come home for Christmas, Frank hits the road on his own, planning to visit each of his kids, which will of course entail finding out WHO THEY TRULY ARE. For example Rosie (Drew Barrymore), who picks him up in a limo takes him to her fancy alleged apartment where he meets her “friend” Jill (Kate Moennig)— but it’s all a show! Because also, she’s bisexual! The Christmas element of this film is pretty light, as is the queerness, but it has its moments and it’s always fun to see queer actresses playing queer roles.
Stream Everybody’s Fine on Pluto.
dir. Chris Columbus, 2005
While not strictly a Christmas movie, the beloved film adaptation of the Broadway musical does open and close on Christmas Eve in a very deliberate way, and it’s chock-full of LGBTQ stories and characters. Set in the Lower East Side in the late ’80s amid the growing HIV/AIDS crisis, lesbian couple Maureen (Idina Menzel) and Joanne (Traci Thoms) and their legendary “Take Me or Leave Me” made this film a notable root for theater kids all over the world. How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot? There’s only one way to find out and that way is “watching this movie” and maybe also listening to the original Broadway cast recording!
dir. François Ozon, 2002
This French dark comedy musical centers a family of eccentric women and their employees after their family patriarch is found dead in the isolated cottage where they’ve chosen to spend a very snowy Christmas. One by one each woman finds her situation under scrutiny. “This movie feels gay and then it gets explicitly gay and then it gets explicitly gayer,” writes Drew Gregory. “By the end it’s unclear if anyone is straight!”
dir. John Waters, 1974
While technically not a lesbian movie or a Christmas movie, this John Waters masterpiece demands inclusion due to its iconic Christmas scene and iconic lesbian characters. Of course, the Christmas scene is Divine’s tantrum about not receiving cha cha heels. And the lesbianism is found most prominently in Edith Massey’s Aunt Ida. “The world of the heterosexual is sick and boring,” she says and truer words have never been committed to screen. Christmas movies are traditionally wholesome so if you’re looking for some queer counterprogramming, look no further than the Pope of Trash himself. Drew Gregory
Rent Female Trouble on Fandango at Home.
Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.
Riese has written 3271 articles for us.
The Autostraddle TV Team is made up of Riese Bernard, Carmen Phillips, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Valerie Anne, Natalie, Drew Burnett Gregory, and Nic. Follow them on Twitter!
The TV has written 234 articles for us.
There is a lovely queer surprise in Lifetime’s “A Picture Perfect Holiday”.
I wish 8 Women were streaming. I currently only have a VHS copy.
When I first rented it I did so for Catherine Denouvre. I had no clue it was queer, Netflix made no note that it was a musical. Add in the almost painfully bright colors…the whole experience was beautiful manic and shockingly delightful
My wife and I just mentioned the other day we should watch 8 Femmes again because it’s been a hot decade since we last did. And now I feel old. Lol.
Lol. Sméagol is my cats name. Arwen is her brother. 8 Femmes is so great. Love your screen name. Had to respond just for that. 😆
Thank you for this list! I’m hopeful that in the future there will be more stories about queer fat folks, queer disabled folks, and trans love stories. Cheers to progress!
I’d like to put +1 A New York Christmas Wedding. Listen, the budget may have been a potato and two paper clips, but it has So much heart!!! You can really tell everyone involved put in so much love into that movie! It’s delightful
Recommend “Bell Book and Candle” (1958). A hetero romance film but with just heaps and heaps of gay subtext – witchcraft as a clear analogue for queerness. Also a great cat.
Thank you for mentioning City Of Trees. I thought it was great. I love indie films and love to support indie filmmakers (especially women), so I actually bought this movie on Amazon about a month ago. Well first I rented it and I watched it three times during my rental period. Figured why not buy it? So I did. Cheaper than a movie ticket.
Missing from the “Let It Snow” description: D’Arcy Carden being mean 🥵
FYI, Last Exmas is available on Kanopy, which is a streaming platform many libraries have free access to!
I am shocked to discover there is at least one person in the comments who liked A New York Christmas Wedding! That film is one of the worst things I have ever seen. Not mediocre, actively fucked up.
For this reason, it is at least unforgettable.
feature image photo by Kristina Bumphrey / Contributor via Getty Images
Hello and welcome back to No Filter! This is the place where I tell you all about the things famous queer folks have been up to online! Let’s go!
Nothing better to usher in Sag season than a quick Janelle thirst trap!
There is nothing more thrilling than the fact that so many actors in Wicked are queer!! Never stop talking about Wicked!
It feel so gauche to want a new album from her already but…call me gauche!!
Wanna know we are in hard economic times? Look at all the spon celebs are doing!
Cynthia acting juuuust like me here, I love it.
God, so kind of Melissa to give us good tips! Bookmarked!
I feel quite certain this thanks is not directed at me, but if it is you, congrats!
Lesbian Jesus is here to wellness check us all, and I for one am grateful!
Love this dress so much!
This should have happened long ago, imo! The talent! The voice! The look!
I will never understand kids who ENJOY ten foot tall nightmare mice!!
Yes Auntie, couples match all the time! Even non-romantic ones! Guess how many times my best friend and I have to change at the last minute because we were wearing the same thing!
….here’s the thing: I respect this! But also…just don’t say anything? Just from a PR standpoint, this is a lot of words that say nothing, why bother!
Christina Tucker is writer and podcaster living in Philadelphia. Find her on Twitter or Instagram!
Christina has written 312 articles for us.
IDK, Christina. When your ex has been on a press tour to justify her cheating, I think it’s valid to make a post saying ‘my lady fuckboy ex and I were still together when she took up with that other woman’.
WHO are the people who want to know all this messiness about their marriage? It’s over AND both of them have *apparently* moved on, I wish they both would stop making this old news our business!!!
Their marriage being dissected in the public sphere for entertainment (information?) is tragic…but they aren’t the only ones.
I feel like I know way too much about these people’s relationship( or the rupture of it anyway) and it wouldn’t bother me so much if they didn’t have two children that they regularly plaster all over the internet. At the very least we should not know what those kids look like. That goes for all celebs.
I totally agree Turkish. I feel uncomfortable whenever I see pictures of their kids’ faces. It seems like both of them are posting cute kid pics to win people over to their side. At this point why do we still care about their break up? I admit I was interested for a while and kind of on team Ali but this unnecessary nothing post to try to get people re-interested in their old break up drama is too much. I officially vow to never click on any more from these two no matter how bored I get.
AH shared deeply private details of their sex life and weaponized therapy against Ali Krieger. Of course AK has the right to defend herself against such a vile interview and I bet if this were your ex saying such private things about your sex life or relationship issues and placing them blame on you in a pod cast, many of you would want to defend yourself. At this point all she is saying is that she’s received an onslaught of questions because of it, it’s not true, and to give her privacy. Why is that a bad thing? Autostraddle was certainly eager to publish a post detailing AH’s whole slimy interview in order to get clicks, but AK makes one SM post and you’re side eying it?? You don’t recognize the hypocrisy in that?
This history of queer women in movie musicals was originally published in 2020. It has been updated to include more recent films and some older films we missed the first time.
Musicals are gay. So why aren’t more musicals gay?
From George Cukor to Jacques Demy to Rob Marshall, many of cinema’s greatest movie musicals were directed by queer men. But few of those films focused on gay characters — the genre simply offering an opportunity for queer aesthetic amidst heterosexual text.
There are some major exceptions — A Chorus Line, the fantastic and underappreciated Zero Patience — but even as stage musicals have become increasingly gay, the budgets required to make movie musicals have kept them largely straight. Queer people have remained underrepresented in this genre we sustain — and it’s especially true for queer women.
But that’s finally starting to change. From The Prom to The Color Purple to Emilia Pérez to the overt subtext of Wicked, we’re finally showing up in a wide range of movie musicals. To celebrate here is an exhaustive look at the representation of queer women in the history of movie musicals.
This Doris Day starring-musical is absolutely gayer than you’d ever imagine from a major Hollywood musical made in 1953. There’s subtext and then there’s… whatever is going on here. Jane fully checks out a woman’s ass, she moves in with a woman she clearly loves, and she feels butch even when she’s made femme. But while that’s all fun and good, the movie is also as racist as the least self-aware westerns of the time and manages to throw in some random transphobia. Certainly a product of its time and point of view, but any discussion of queer women in movie musicals would be incomplete without starting here.
Every iteration of Cabaret is super gay because Berlin in the early 30s was super gay. The most recent Broadway revivals have certainly upped the queer energy, but even the masterful film adaptation is inherently queer. There isn’t much in the film about queer women — unless you read bisexual energy into Sally Bowles which, hey, fair — but there is one number that’s explicit. “Two Ladies” finds Joel Grey’s Emcee playfully describing his throuple with, you guessed it, two ladies. Sure, he’s the focal point of the number, but who knows what’s happening under the sheet?
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is usually discussed in the context of Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s trans identity, but the fun thing about trans people is we can be queer too! And, oh boy, is Frank-N-Furter queer. Frank has a questionable rendezvous with Janet, he chases her around multiple times, and there’s also mention that Frank used to be with Columbia. Not to mention Columbia and Magenta being all over each other during “Touch Me” or the whole cast making out during “Rose Tint My World.” This is a queer movie in every configuring sense and it, frankly, deserves more acknowledgment as a work of queer woman cinema. Frank may be a sweet transvestite but our language has changed and I think it’s safe to say Susan Sarandon and Tim Curry fucking is gay gay gay.
While an argument could be made that Barbra Streisand’s gender-bending directorial debut would be more applicable on a trans musical list, it still feels applicable here due to Amy Irving’s character Hadass. She might marry Yentl when Yentl is pretending to be the male Anshel, but as this marriage of necessity turns to a marriage of love for her, her feelings toward “Anshel” feel very gay. She might not totally register what makes Anshel different from other men, and yet she’s very into this difference. Of course, that difference is Anshel is a woman and they’ve been early 20th century gay married.
This reimagining of the opera Carmen is bursting with energy and sexuality. The titular temptress is made pansexual which underlines her freedom and offers quite a few delicious moments. The music is incredible, the visuals are stunning, and Djeinaba Diop Gai’s central performance is as magnetic as this character deserves. While the film still ends in the expected tragedy, this version more than any other seems to really respect Karmen and her sexuality.
The influence of queer icon Jacques Demy is felt in François Ozon’s film that’s like musical Clue but entirely women and French. And when I say French, I mean French. This movie feels gay and then it gets explicitly gay and then it gets explicitly gayer. By the end it’s unclear if anyone is straight! Special shoutout to Firmine Richard who is given a sad gay ballad and Catherine Deneuve whose commitment to playing gay despite suing Deneuve Magazine is ever surprising.
A film that certainly inspired more gay feelings than it is actually gay, this Best Picture winner is still worth noting for Queen Latifah’s coded lesbian Matron Mama Morton. I mean, she strokes her feathers while saying, “I love them all and all of them love me” — not exactly subtle! The movie does manage to remove some of the subtext by creating a fantasy sequence where she’s singing to male audience members, but we know what’s really going on. Also she calls Roxie pretty and strokes her hair before saying “I’ll take care of you” and putting a firm grip on the back of her neck. Look, this abusive quid pro quo isn’t something to romanticize, but in 2002 I did not understand the nuances of that!! I just had gay feelings!!
Rent was the first prominent queer woman stage show to get a film adaptation and while we can argue about the quality of this adaptation — and Rent itself — that alone is worth celebrating. Rent means so much to so many gays and it’s easy to see why. I mean, Joanne and Maureen! MAUREEN. Idina Menzel reprises her role from the original Broadway cast and what a joy, because of her voice and because of the way she looks in tight leather pants and a tank. “Take Me or Leave Me” is so fun especially when Tracie Thoms is standing on the stairs in her suit all gay and Idina starts crawling towards her. What a moment! What a musical! What a movie! Sort of.
It’s unfortunate the same year that brought us objectively the biggest queer women musical also had this. Maybe this tongue-in-cheek number wouldn’t annoy me so much if this list wasn’t filled with femmes and subtext. But since it is I’m going to be a humorless lesbian and say “Keep It Gay” feels cringey two decades later especially the characterization of the butch lighting designer.
This is another film that feels like part of Jacques Demy’s lineage — maybe it’s impossible to be a queer French filmmaker making a musical and not be inspired by him. But while 8 Women leaned into the farce, this movie leans into the romantic melodrama. Unfortunately, what begins as a très français throuple story turns tragic and the only remaining gay content is male. But first there’s a good song about being a couple’s third and having to manage their relationship problems!
One fun thing about being gay is being obsessed with something as a kid and then growing up and meeting other gay people and realizing they too were obsessed with that same thing. One of those things for me is absolutely Julie Taymor’s Beatles jukebox musical Across the Universe. I remember my dad was thrilled that I was suddenly very into The Beatles but a bit confused why I was most into them when sung by Evan Rachel Wood. This whole movie pulsates with queer energy, and Prudence played by T.V. Carpio is explicitly a lesbian! She pines over a cheerleader in “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and is literally coaxed out of the closet in “Dear Prudence.” She eventually ends up out and proud and dating a contortionist, so a very gay happy ending indeed.
Queers have been projecting our feelings onto Disney movies for decades, but the social media response to Frozen showed just how starved we are for some actual representation. “Let It Go” is a phenomenal coming out anthem — even if unintentional — and the reunion of ice queen Elsa (Idina Menzel again!) and her heterosexual sister felt like an allegory for many of us who had to find common ground with straight relatives. Alas, the #GiveElsaaGirlfriend campaign failed and the sequel just brought more subtext, this time in the form of love songs to Elsa’s mother. Okay fine, I guess that is pretty gay.
I’m sorry, but when I think of queer women musicals, I still think of this wonderful guilty pleasure. Based on Angela Robinson’s web series Girl Trash, All Night Long (which Robinson disowned) is special for its ensemble cast of queer women favorites and the queer women crew who made it. No, it’s not a masterpiece, but it’s silly and the songs are catchy and I get “Fantasy Crush” stuck in my head at least once a month.
This genre-bending mermaid musical horror movie was likely not intended to be about a gay trans girl and her straight trans girl best friend — Michalina Olszanska and Marta Mazurek who play the central mermaids, Gold and Silver, are both cis. And yet with its literal bottom surgery and riff on The Little Mermaid — a trans girl favorite — it’s no surprise that it’s left such an impression on the community. But beyond this imposed subtext, it’s still a weird and wonderful work of queer cinema that includes a sung-through scene of lesbian fish sex that makes The Shape of Water look like Mr. Limpet.
Tubi has dozens of low-budget lesbian movies you’ve likely never heard about, but this one stands out, because it’s a musical! I can’t say I recommend this tale of a preacher’s daughter who falls in love with a Republican campaign director, but I can say it could be a lot worse. Its attempts to satirize evangelicals, Fox News, and Tea Party Republicans don’t hit quite as hard as they need to, even if it is self-aware enough to be watchable. While too political to have the corny charm of Girltrash: All Night Long, this still gets points for being one of the only movie musicals to squarely be a lesbian romance.
It’s Christmastime, so how about a lesbian Christmas movie musical? Okay FINE only one of the characters is a lesbian, but she’s played by openly queer actor Sarah Swire! This is a zombie movie musical filled with charm and heart and even a little emotional devastation. It has a very poppy teen vibe and it charmed me completely and I think it might charm you!
Some films on this list are musicals, but only a little lesbian — this is lesbian, but only a little musical. There’s just no way to define this masterpiece by genre. It’s a werewolf horror movie fairy tale that’s part romance and part mother/son tale and it’s about queer motherhood and about race and class in Brazil and that’s a lot for one movie and yet it all works? Oh yeah and there are some musical numbers. To reveal when the first one comes would be to spoil one of the film’s many twists, but it uses music the way some old Disney movies used music — just a few numbers in the emotional moments that most require breaking out into song.
Based on Michael John LaChiusa’s 1994 Off Broadway show, this series of musical vignettes about love and sex misses more than it hits. But in one number Audra McDonald and Martha Plimpton are lovers and that alone is worth watching! It’s a shame the movie as a whole isn’t stronger — if it was it would be way more popular because, again I repeat, AUDRA MCDONALD AND MARTHA PLIMPTON ARE LOVERS.
I want to be thorough and sell you on this wonderful Spanish musical, but I also just want you to watch it for yourself so you can experience the same surprise and delight I did. This is really one of the standouts on this list in terms of levels of queerness, quality of musical numbers, and pure exuberant spirit. It’s sacrilege that ends up feeling transcendent. It’s everything I could ever want from a queer musical! And it’s on Netflix!
This is the first Bollywood film to feature a lesbian romance and that is an exciting and noteworthy step towards progress. However, this film is most definitely just a step. For one, it’s not about the lesbians, but about a struggling playwright who decides to help them. The movie very explicitly is for a straight audience to teach them basic gay acceptance and it’s possibly effective in that context, but it’s not the big gay Bollywood movie we’ll hopefully have someday.
The Prom is noteworthy for being huge star studded Broadway adaptation not just with two queer women in the ensemble but two queer women at its center. Sure, the adults — both straight and gay male — are major characters, but the hopeful and out Emma and her closeted but aching love Alyssa are the unruly heart of the film. And they’re played by Jo Ellen Pellman and Ariana DeBose, two incredibly talented queer actors! This is a corny celebration of musicals, a corny celebration of being gay, and, as a corny gay, I’m happy to join it in celebration.
The much-anticipated In the Heights movie made several changes — for better or worse — from the stage show and one of the best was Daniella and Carla becoming lesbian partners. Played by Daphne Rubin-Vega and Stephanie Beatriz, this subtle but welcome change added some explicit queerness to a show that so many queer people already loved. It is worth noting that I talked to several people who watched the film and didn’t notice this change, so it probably could have been more explicit.
The 1985 film adaptation of Alice Walker’s classic novel minimized the romantic and sexual nature of Celie and Shug’s relationship. When I saw the Broadway revival in 2016 — starring a truly remarkable Cynthia Erivo — I was shocked that this production did the same. So when the movie was announced, like many, my question was, will this finally be the adaptation to not shy away from the novel’s queerness? Fortunately, this film, starring Fantasia Barrino as Celie and Taraji P. Henson as Shug, does make their relationship explicit. And yet, in cutting two of Celie and Shug’s four songs together, it still seems to minimize their relationship. Far from a perfect film, it was still the first major movie musical since Rent to focus so explicitly on queer women.
Reneé Rapp and Auli’i Cravalho confirmed themselves as absolute stars in this adaptation of the stage show that was an adaptation of the 2004 movie. And that’s about all the good I can say about it. Okay, it does also up the explicit queerness making the falling out between Cravalho’s Janis and Rapp’s Regina due to Janis’ queerness. But otherwise this film is a baffling, soulless repetition of the original movie — including a copy-pasted script — with some middling musical numbers thrown in. I know the show and this film have its fans, and I’m happy for you all! I just think Rapp and Cravalho deserve a gay movie musical worthier of their considerable talents.
Vaginoplasty! A big budget musical with a trans lesbian titular character sounds like something I would have fantasized about half a decade ago. It’s too bad this film — a festival favorite and now an Oscar frontrunner — isn’t a better film. I could talk about the reasons its portrayal of transness falls short — and I have — but my biggest issue is the mediocrity of the music, the dancing, the staging, and the character development. The discourse around this film has already been exhausting and award season has only just begun. But I’m mostly resigned that this is what cis people want to see from trans stories, so this kind of story will continue to get made. Hopefully, someday soon some trans filmmakers get the chance to make movie musicals that are better.
While not one to give too much credit to subtext in the year 2024, I would argue the musical Wicked is pretty damn overt. First of all, “What Is This Feeling?” is pointedly a riff on a romantic song. Second of all, the entire Elphaba/Glinda relationship feels like lesbian college student and bicurious roommate fall in love but when the lesbian is like let’s be lesbians together, the roommate gets scared and runs back in the closet. While, sure, I would have welcomed an Elphaba/Glinda kiss added to the movie, their relationship feels so true to a college-aged tortured queer sexuality. With a largely queer cast, including Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba, overtly gay side characters, and an extended dance sequence between Elphaba and Glinda, the movie feels even queerer than the already gay show.
So what’s next? Well, of course, next year brings Wicked: Part Two, including new songs which could make the whole thing even gayer. (But at the very least we’re getting “For Good” !!) There’s also finally an adaptation of lesbian masterpiece Fun Home in the works from stage director Sam Gold. (Initially, I wasn’t sure about the casting of Jake Gyllenhaal, but I’ve come around!) Frozen songwriters Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez were previously announced to be working on an adaptation of The Prince and the Dressmaker, a transfeminine lesbian fairy tale, but there hasn’t been any recent word so this might have been a pandemic and/or strike casualty.
The most exciting film, set to come out as early as next year, is Mother Mary, a musical starring Anne Hathaway, Micaela Coel, and Hunter Schafer with music by Charli XCX and Jack Antonoff. It’s about the relationship between a pop star and a dress designer and the internet has assumed that means romantic relationship and I hope they’re right.
Then there are stage shows that aren’t currently being adapted but could be! Maybe we’ll get movies of jukebox musicals Head Over Heels or Jagged Little Pill. (Actually, turning Head Over Heels into a movie with Peppermint is a dream of mine…) Or maybe less successful — and arguably less good sorry! — musicals like Lempicka or The Lonely Few will be adapted. Or maybe someone will rescue one of my very favorite musicals from obscurity and give Miss You Like Hell the audience it deserves.
And, finally, it’s worth noting that some of the best entries on this list came from independent filmmakers who weren’t afraid of the musical genre despite their limited resources. This is certain to continue as more and more queer creators are given opportunities — or create opportunities — even on a small scale. Imagine what so many queer creators will do with the genre in the years to come! The movie musical may have excluded queer women for most of the 20th century. But we’re included now — we’re including ourselves now — and, to quote Wicked, if we’re flying solo, at least we’re flying free.
Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Drew Burnett has written 624 articles for us.
I feel like Prudence from Across the Universe deserves a spot on this list!
In that viral interview, the reporter mentions people holding space WITH the lyrics of Defying Gravity which feels like a totally different, more nuanced and powerful act than holding space “for.”
Also this quiz is everything and I got Elphaba, of course. (“Well. Pink goes WELL with…”)
Elphaba
You are Elphaba!
Yes, you are that bitch. A green machine who’s misunderstood and more powerful than anyone can imagine. You act lowkey but secretly love a little drama. You have a homoerotic vibe with your “roommate.”
Yes, my roommate, Bed, and I get along swimmingly.